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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644585">The Winchester Banshee</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberry02/pseuds/strawberry02'>strawberry02</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural, Supernatural RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:01:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>84,988</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28644585</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberry02/pseuds/strawberry02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Evalynn Winchester has not had an easy life. The bastard daughter of John Winchester and a banshee who left her on her father's motel stoop at birth. She has never been able to walk right, the doctors thought it was an infection that damaged her nerves causing her to have permanent leg weakness, but her father was certain it was a curse. One they couldn't lift. Despite being a specter of death she has been raised a hunter along with her older half-brothers Dean and Sam. It has been a string of run down motels and long nights on the road. At times she thinks in another life she could have been someone else, someone happy in one place with a life and family of her own...but that would never be an option for her. She wasn't technically human, she was a banshee. She was destined to roam this world eternally hunting all that goes bump in the night, stuck trying her best not to let the visions that plague her come true. That is until she meets him. Her guardian angel that raised her big brother from perdition.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel (Supernatural) &amp; Original Female Character(s), Castiel (Supernatural) &amp; Original Winchester Character(s), Castiel (Supernatural)/Original Character(s), Castiel (Supernatural)/Original Female Character(s), Castiel (Supernatural)/Original Winchester Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean is screaming, blood gushing out from deep jagged cuts as the hellhounds keep slicing into his flesh.  Sam and I are stuck up onto the wall, we can’t move a muscle.  A demon named Lilith laughs as she watches us struggling against her grip as Dean is getting shredded to pieces.  I bolt up in bed, sweat drenching through my nightgown.  Taking deep shaking breaths I get my rapidly beating heart to finally calm down.  </p><p>Every night we check into a crappy run down motel and every night I have the exact same dream.  The same dream I have been having since Dean was stupid enough to make that deal with a crossroads demon.  It’s like I am stuck on a repeating loop, round and round I go.  I get slightly less sleep each night.  It’s to the point where I barely manage three or four hours.  </p><p>I glance at the clock, it’s 5:03 am.  Quietly groaning I decide I might as well get a head start on the day.  Sam and Dean are sleeping, not particularly soundly but still sleeping nonetheless.  I stare at Dean for a few moments longer than necessary.  I find myself doing that a lot more frequently since my oldest brother made that deal.  I grab my duffel and head into the bathroom for a shower.  I run my hands through my white hair then hold them over my face for a moment while standing under the warm cascade of water.  My body starts shaking with small hiccuping sobs.  I hate him, I hate him for making that deal, I hate him for so easily agreeing to leave me behind in this shithole world.  It takes me a few minutes to pull myself together but I finally do and dry off before throwing on a white t-shirt and tucking it into my red daisy patterned skirt.  I braid my waist length white hair back so it doesn’t get in the way.  Finally I put on my leg braces over my stockings.  I haven’t been able to walk well without the extra support since I was a little kid.  I got really sick as a toddler then something happened to my nerves and my leg muscles have never worked quite right since then.  By the time I come out Sam has finally begun to stir, but Dean is still out cold from getting in so late after his visit with some local girl...named Chastity…we won’t give him a hard time for it though.  I think we both figure it’s not our place to judge his last wishes.  </p><p>I mumble about grabbing us all coffee before heading to the convenience store across the street.  I awkwardly look at the swirling blue and red slurpee mixture as the gangly young cashier stares at me while very very slowly getting me three black coffees.  I wonder what his issue is, doesn’t he know it’s rude to stare?  </p><p>“So, uhm, how long are you in town for?  I noticed you walked over from the motel.”  The cashier comments.</p><p>I glance up at him suspiciously.  “Not long.”  I murmur before looking at my brown boots instead.</p><p>“You know some friends and I are having a bonfire later tonight if you were--”  The cashier stops mid sentence as Sam walks in.  I let out a small breath of relief.    </p><p>Sam nods at me.  “You were taking too long.  Did you grab any raisin bran?”  </p><p>I roll my eyes at him.  “Of course I got your cereal grandpa.” </p><p>The cashier seems much faster about getting us the coffee and ringing us up.  Luckily he doesn’t say anything else to me.  Neither of my brothers are particularly understanding of me dating, not that I’ve ever really had the opportunity to.  Our lives have just been one horror story followed by another especially the past couple of years.  </p><p>Sam and I walk out of the store side by side.  “Have you seen anything?  About Dean I mean.”  He asks in a thick voice. </p><p>I frown, not quite sure how much I should tell him.  “I’ve had dreams, so far...well so far the future is the same.  The deal is still on.”  He nods at me solemnly but doesn’t pry further.  Sam has always been a little better at knowing when he shouldn’t push me compared to Dean.  </p><p>By the time we get back to the motel Dean is awake.  He takes the coffee I hand him with his eyes closed, barely acknowledging our presence.  We all have breakfast in relative silence each lost in our own thoughts.  </p><p>Bobby calls with news of a cicada swarm and crop failure in Nebraska, the first sign of demon activity we’ve seen since the Devil’s Gate opened.  Dean snaps the phone shut.  “Alright kids, pack up and move out we leave in ten.”  He mutters before downing the rest of his coffee.</p><p>I try to take a nap in the back seat but Dean has black sabbath blaring and won’t stop singing along off key.  I used to find it more annoying but ever since the deal -- I don’t know, I find his obnoxious habits more endearing.  With the way Dean drives we reach the farmhouse Bobby told him to meet us at in Nebraska by the next morning.</p><p>Dean munches on a burger while we wait for Bobby.  </p><p>“Hear those cicadas?”  Sam comments. </p><p>“That can’t be a good sign.”  Dean grunts through a mouthful of burger.</p><p>“No.  No it can’t.”  I mutter.</p><p>I fling myself at Bobby as soon as he gets out of his car.  He chuckles a little and mumbles “nice to see you kiddo.”  After releasing me out of his tight hold he glances over at Dean.  “So, we’re eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast are we?”  </p><p>“Well, I sold my soul.  Got a year to live.  I ain’t sweating the cholesterol.”  Dean responds nonchalantly.  </p><p>It’s only been a week since we last saw him but it feels like longer.  Bobby and I were always closer.  He was the one who taught me to shoot, taught me how to do background research, how to put together a pattern.  He even let me live with him in high school so I could have at least a semi-normal experience instead of moving around all the time.  Bobby was the one who encouraged me to go to college in Sioux Falls and get my bachelors, helped me get a part time job at the local library and everything.  Of course I quit that once I found out about Dad’s disappearance a couple of years ago.  Dean, Sam, and I have been on the road together ever since.  Thinking about Dad makes a lump lodge in my throat but I push the topic back into the recesses of my mind.  I am trying to only allow myself one breakdown a day and I already had it this morning.  There are days when I still wish I lived with Bobby.  It was just...so much simpler when my largest stressors were exams and getting to my library shift on time.  There was something surprisingly peaceful about the mundane.</p><p>As we are searching the farmhouse and pondering over the demise of the family that appears to have just sat down on the couch and never gotten back up, we are jumped by two hunters Isaac and Tamara.  They invite us back to their home before promptly telling us that they refuse to work with “the damn fools who let the devil's gate get opened in the first place.”  </p><p>I get an uneasy feeling before we leave.  I look at Isaac and I can smell bleach.  The briefest of moments flashes in my head of him guzzling a gallon of the stuff.  The vision is distorted, fuzzier than my usual ones, like I’m watching something on an old TV.  I frown a little.  Typically my visions are much more detailed, I can’t even tell when this is supposed to happen.  I don’t say anything.  My brothers and Bobby decided long ago not to tell any hunters that I’m a banshee.  Hunters tend to have trouble seeing gray areas.  What would I tell him anyways, hey you know you shouldn’t drink bleach right?  </p><p>It’s not like I’m a monster or spirit or anything.  I’m as human as any of them, well, expect for the fact that I live longer...quite a bit longer.  In reality I’m just a spectator to death, I don’t cause it.  Sort of like a hyper focused psychic.  Occasionally I can stop my visions but for the most part I just find the bodies.  </p><p>We investigate the death of a young woman outside a shoe store and find security footage of a man named Walter interacting with the woman responsible for the murder just moments before it was committed.  We are able to track Walter to a bar and plan on just doing some light surveillance, but of course Isaac and Tamara show up and go in guns blazing.  We anxiously sit in the car with bated breath.  I get the same feeling that I always get with my visions, a tingling feeling in the back of my skull.  Damn, it must be Isaac.  With how many demons that got out, well, who knows what we are up against here.  They have been in there too long.  Bobby and Sam try to open the front door to the bar but it's locked.</p><p>“Well, I sure hope everyone is buckled up.”  Bobby says before slamming on the gas and ramming through the front door.  Sam flings his arm out in front of me like a soccer mom.  On reflex I raise my sawed off shotgun, point it at the first black eyed bitch I see and shoot.  The rock salt lands in the middle of some fat guy but barely does anything to slow him down.  My brothers jump out, flinging holy water all over the room before pulling Tamara inside the car as she screams.  Dean throws Walter into the trunk.  I keep shooting on principle although I don’t think salt is having much of an effect.  Bobby gets us out of there, tires squealing.  </p><p>We hole up back at Tamara’s house, the demon possessing poor Walter is tied to a chair under a devil’s trap.  Everyone is going back and forth over what to do with him.  Bobby and I are quietly looking through one of his old texts when we both look at one another in surprise.  “Is this even possible?”  I ask him, realizing we have both come to the same conclusion.  He quirks an eyebrow at me.  “These days, I’m ready to believe anything.”  I follow Bobby as he brings the book over to show everyone else.</p><p>“We don’t even know how many of them there are!”  Sam yells.  </p><p>“Yeah we do.  There’s seven.  Do you have any idea who we’re up against?”  Bobby hisses out.</p><p>“No who?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“The seven deadly sins, live and in the flesh!”  I proclaim.</p><p>Dean pauses and gives us a big grin.  “What’s in the box?”  We all stare at him awkwardly.  “Brad Pitt?  Seven?  No?”  He asks.  </p><p>Bobby throws the book at him.  “The Binsfelds classification of demons.  In 1589, Binsfeld ID’d the seven sins, not just as vices but as actual devils.”  </p><p>Sam speaks up.  “The family, they were touched by sloth - and the shopper…”  </p><p>“That was probably envy’s doing, the friendly customer we have tied up in the next room.  I assume what happened to Isaac was gluttony’s doing.”  I chime in.</p><p>“I don’t give a rat’s ass if they are the Three Stooges or the Four Tops!  I’m going to slaughter every last one of them!”  Tamara snarls at me.  </p><p>Bobby moves between us and gets her to back up a bit.  “We already did it your way.  You burst in there half-cocked and look what happened!  These demons haven’t been topside in half a millennium!  We’re talking medieval, dark ages!  We’ve never faced anything close to this.  So we are going to take a breath...AND FIGURE OUT WHAT OUR NEXT MOVE IS!”  Bobby yells.  He backtracks a little after seeing the hurt expression in Tamara’s eyes.  “I am sorry for your loss.”  Bobby whispers.  </p><p>We all stand around the tied up demon, he chuckles.  “So you know who I am, huh?”  </p><p>“We do and we’re not impressed.”  Bobby answers him.</p><p>“Why are you here?  What do you want?”  Sam asks, but Envy doesn’t respond.  </p><p>Dean splashes some holy water on him.  “My brother asked you a question!”  </p><p>Envy hisses and screams at the contact from the holy water.  “We already have what we want you moron.”  </p><p>I narrow my eyes at him. “Care to elaborate?”  </p><p>“We’re out.  We’re here.  Thanks to you all, my kind are everywhere.  I am legion, for we are many.  So me, I’m just celebrating, having a little fun.” </p><p>“I’m going to put you down like a dog.”  Tamara screeches at him.  </p><p>Envy starts laughing.  “Please, you really think any of you are better than me?  Which one of you can cast the first stone, huh?  What about you Dean, you are practically a walking billboard of gluttony and lust.  And Tamara...all that wrath, ooohh, tsk, tsk, tsk.  It’s the reason you and Isaac became hunters in the first place isn’t it?  So much easier to drink in the rage than to face what really happened all those years ago.”  </p><p>Tamara starts smacking him until Dean and Bobby finally pull her off the demon.  He begins cackling again.  “Whew!  My point exactly.  And you call us sins.  We’re not sins, we are natural human instinct.  You can repress and deny us all you want, but the truth is you are just animals.  Horny, hungry, greedy, violent animals.  And you know what, you’ll be slaughtered like animals.  The others, they will be coming for me.”</p><p>Dean gives him a cold stare.  “Maybe, but they’re not going to find you...you’ll be swimming laps in hell.  Someone send this clown packing.”</p><p>Tamara does the honors.  The demon gets exorcised, but the man Walter doesn’t make it.</p><p>Isaac’s voice screams for us to let him inside past the salt line, but I know that’s not Isaac.  Bobby tries to stop Tamara but she pushes the door open anyways, breaking the salt line.  Screaming she plunges a palo alto stake into his chest.  The other six demons come rushing in. Three of them follow Sam upstairs while the girl in the group follows after Dean.  Bobby has a death grip on my arm as he slowly backs us away from the large one I filled with rock salt earlier.  He stalks us with a confident smile, we pretend to look nervous until he’s under the devils trap.  Bobby smiles back at him.  “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son.”  He jokes before exorcising him. </p><p>That morning Bobby and I make our way out of the house down the stairs to where Sam and Dean are burying the corpses of the people who didn’t make it, salting and burning the bodies.  “Any survivors?”  Sam asks.  </p><p>“Well the pretty girl and the heavy guy will make it.  Lifetime of therapy bills ahead but still…”  Bobby answers him.</p><p>“That’s more than you can say for these poor bastards.”  Dean comments sadly.</p><p>“Bobby, that knife, what kind of blade can kill a demon?”  Sam keeps questioning.</p><p>Bobby shrugs.  “Yesterday I would have said there is no such thing.”</p><p>“I’m just gonna ask it - who was that masked chick?  Actually, the more troubling question is how come a girl can fight better than you?”  Dean snarks at him.</p><p>Sam chuckles a little.  “Three demons Dean, at once.”  </p><p>“Whatever gets you through the night Sammy.”  I say in a dry tone.  He rolls his eyes at me.</p><p>We finish cleaning up but before I get into the impala Dean pulls me aside.  “You know, you could go back to Bobby’s if you want.”  </p><p>I look up at him confused.  “Don’t get me wrong, I love being at Bobby’s, but I am not bailing on you now Dean.  We’re going to figure this out.”  </p><p>He looks a little exasperated.  “There’s nothing to figure out Evalynn.  I don’t want to figure this out.  It’s too risky.  Just...with the gates open everything has gotten that much worse, that much more dangerous.  I just need to make sure you are safe, and I know that Bobby will keep you safe.  His house is practically a mini fortress against everything that goes bump in the night.”  </p><p>I square my shoulders and make him look me in the eye.  “Dean I am only going to say this once.  We are in this together and there is absolutely nothing, you hear me nothing, that you can say that will stop me from sticking to you like superglue.”  </p><p>Dean glares at me but then a small smile creeps on his face.  “You are impossible you know that?  If you are going to stay then I want a guarantee that you won’t pull any of that crap like you did when we opened the gate.  If I say it’s too dangerous then you don’t go in with us.  I know you are shit at listening to me but we are going up against a whole new enemy here.”  </p><p>I glare back at him but begrudgingly agree, if only to avoid another argument like the one we had when I went into the devil’s gate cemetery despite Dean trying to order me not to.  </p><p>We say our goodbyes to Bobby before all jumping into the impala and hitting the open road.  “So gang, where to?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“Uh, I don’t know, I was thinking Louisiana maybe.”  Sam comments.</p><p>“A little early for Mardi Gras isn’t it?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“Yeah...but I was talking to Tamara and she mentioned this hoodoo priestess outside of shreveport that might be able to help us out.  You know, with your deal.”  Sam says.  My ears perk up a little at that.</p><p>“Nah”  Dean replies.</p><p>“Nah?  What do you mean nah?  Why not?”  I ask bewildered. </p><p>Dean glances at both of us for a moment.  “Listen you two, no hoodoo spells gonna break this deal alright, it’s a goose chase.”  </p><p>“We don’t know that Dean.”  Sam exclaims.</p><p>“Come on, Dean it’s at least worth --”  He cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.  “We’re not going and that’s that.  What does everyone think about Reno?”</p><p>“You know what?  I’ve had it.  I’ve been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you and...you know what I don’t care anymore.”  Sam voice is steadily raising.</p><p>Dean snorts.  “Well that didn’t last long.”  </p><p>“Yeah, well you know what?  I’ve been busting my ass trying to keep you alive Dean, and you act like you couldn’t care less.  What, you got some kind of death wish or something?”  Sam yells.</p><p>“No it’s not like that.”  Dean mumbles.</p><p>“Then tell us what it’s like Dean.”  I pipe up with a cold tone.</p><p>He lets out a large sigh.  “We trap the crossroads demon, trick it, try to welch our way out the deal in any way.  Sam dies.  Those are the terms.  There’s no way out of it.  If either of you try to find a way so help me god, I’m gonna stop you.”  </p><p>Sam looks at him with a pained expression.  “How could you make that deal Dean?”  </p><p>“Because I couldn’t live with you dead Sam, just couldn’t do it.”  </p><p>Sam is outraged.  “Yeah well you’re a hypocrite Dean.  How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you?  Because I was there, I remember.  You were twisted and broken.  Now you go and do the same thing, to me, to us!  What you did was selfish.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right, it was selfish.  But I’m okay with that.”  Dean proclaims like this is all a joke.</p><p>“Well we’re not Dean.”  I reply.</p><p>“Tough.  After everything I’ve done for this family I think I’m entitled.  Sam’s alive, I feel good - for the first time in a long time.  I’ve gotta year to live and I would like to make the most of it.  So what do you say the three of us kill some evil sons of bitches and raise a little hell huh?”  Dean smiles at us.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TEN MONTHS LATER</p><p>“This is ridiculous we have two months, two fucking months!”  Sam hisses at me as we follow Dean up to Morton house.  </p><p>“What do you want me to do about it Sam?  The two of us have run down every lead and come up with jack squat.  Nothing has even slightly altered my vision.  It doesn’t help that Dean still wants to act like Mr. Chuckles about the entire situation.”  I whisper back.</p><p>“You know I can hear the two of you back there.”  Dean exclaims.  Sam and I glance at each other but stop talking.  The closer we get to the deals deadline the less Dean wants to talk about it.  All he wants to do is hunt.  </p><p>Dean yanks the door open and the three of us enter into the Morton house.  We run into a group of kids camped out in the living room.  Sam and Dean raise their flashlights.  “Freeze!  Police!”  Dean yells at them.  </p><p>“Alright let’s everyone take it easy, let’s see some ID.”  Sam says.</p><p>“Are we under arrest?”  A young redhead boy squeaks out in terror.</p><p>The man with glasses speaks up.  “We are unarmed.” </p><p>“You want to explain the weirdo outfit Mr. uh...Corbett?”  Dean asks while looking at the young kids ID.</p><p>“Whoa-ho, wait a second, I know you.  I know all three of you.  Yeah I remember now.”  The man with glasses looks reminiscent.</p><p>“Holy shit!”  Sam shouts in surprise.  </p><p>“What?”  I ask confused.</p><p>“Uh, West Texas...the...the uh, the tulpa we had to take out.  Those two goofballs that almost got us killed.  The hellhounds or something?”  Sam explains.  Oh my god, I finally recognize the man with glasses, I think his name was Ed.</p><p>“Fuck me.”  Dean curses.</p><p>“Yeah okay, we’re not hellhounds anymore.  It didn’t test well.”  Ed says with an attitude.</p><p>The kid named Corbett speaks up.  “What’s going on?” </p><p>“They are not cops, no, not at all.”  </p><p>“Where the hell is your partner?”  I ask Ed.  He moves his gaze from Dean and glances over to me.  Eyes doing a slow once over.  “He’s around chasing ghosts.”  Ed’s voice loses most of its snark as he rather blatantly stares at me like an idiot.  Dean smacks him upside the head.  “Don’t be a creep Ed.”  </p><p>“Alright listen here chisel chest.  We were here first okay?  We’ve already set up base camp.  We beat you.”  Ed seems to have found his attitude again as he talks back to Dean.  These morons are going to get us all killed by the end of the night.  </p><p>I have a vision of a piece of metal going through the kid Corbett’s neck but I can’t see when or where.  I sigh in frustration, my visions are still off kilter, unfocused.  I think I’ve just been so precision focused on Dean lately it must be affecting everything else.  </p><p>As per usual when shit hits the fan I get stuck with the innocent civilians in the salt circle, Sam has been captured, and Dean is going to rescue him.  We see Corbett’s ghost and through a bit of arm twisting I’m able to get Ed to break the poor kid's death echo.  A few minutes later Sam and Dean along with one of the other ‘ghost facers’ come out from the basement.  Dean gives me a quick shaky nod before putting his hands on his knees and taking a few deep breaths.  I run out of the salt circle and pull both of my stupid brothers into a tight hug.  “You guys are going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TWO MONTHS LATER</p><p>Sam and I walk into the motel room, Dean is reading a book.  Sam asks if he found anything good but apparently his research has been fruitless.  He waited until the last minute but Dean finally had a wake up call and got on board with us trying to save him.  </p><p>“Just got off the phone with Bobby and he has some news.”  I tell him.</p><p>“A way to find Lilith.”  Sam explains with a hint of relief in his voice.</p><p>Dean throws in hands in the air.  “Great, with just, oh look at that thirty hours to spare.”  </p><p>“Look, I know we are cutting it close but Dean we are going to get this done.  I don’t care what it takes.  You’re not going to hell.  We are not going to let you.”  Sam says with passion.</p><p>I walk over to Dean and rub his shoulder in an attempt to be soothing.  “Everything’s going to be okay.”  I try to be reassuring.  He looks up at me and gives a weak smile but doesn’t appear the least bit convinced.  I would be lying to myself if I felt even remotely convinced either.  The closer we get to the deadline the clearer and more insistent my vision becomes.  It feels like there’s this...inevitability to it.  </p><p>I relax just a little as we pull up to Bobby’s familiar scrap yard and chipped blue painted house.  I breathe in the comforting scent of old books as we go through the front door and into the library.  Bobby is standing over a map with a large crystal ball on top and swinging pendulum on the bottom.  He begins the ritual to find Lillith, chanting in latin.  The pendulum swings all over the map until finally it comes to a decisive stop.  </p><p>“New Harmony, Indiani.”  Bobby mutters.</p><p>“Alright let’s go.”  Sam says hopping out of his seat.</p><p>“Woah, Woah, Woah, there Sammy.”  Dean puts up his hands in a placating manner.</p><p>“What’s the problem?”  </p><p>Dean gives Sam an incredulous look.  “The problem?  Come on!  I mean first of all we don’t even know if Lilith holds my deal.  We’re going off of that bitch Bella’s info?  The same Bella who stole the colt from us?  Which brings me to my second point, we have know way of ganking her.  And third, isn’t this the same Lilith who wants your head on a spike Sam?”  </p><p>“Kind of bringing down the room Dean.”  I say sarcastically.  </p><p>“Yeah well it’s a gift Evie.”  Dean calls me by my nickname in an equally sarcastic tone.</p><p>Sam’s livid.  “So what do you expect us to do?”  </p><p>Dean shakes his head a little.  “Just cause I gotta die doesn’t mean any of you have to, okay.  Either we go in smart or we don’t go in at all.”</p><p>“Fine if that’s the case I don’t see any other option.”  Sam proclaims in frustration.</p><p>“Damn it Sam!  No!  We talked about this!”  I growl at him.  Dean finally seems to catch onto what Sam is thinking.  </p><p>“We are so past arguing Evie.  I am summoning Ruby.”  </p><p>Dean snaps too.  “The hell you are!  We have enough problems as it is.”  </p><p>“We have no time and no choice.”  Sam replies in a desperate but resolute tone.</p><p>Dean rolls his eyes at him.  “Come on man, she is the Miss Universe of lying skanks.  She told you that she could save me - lie!  She seems to know everything about lilith but forgot to mention that, oh, right, lilith holds my soul!”</p><p>“Okay fine, she’s a liar, but she still has that knife.”  Sam says.</p><p>When he mentions the knife an idea comes to me.  “Wait, I think I know what we can do.”</p><p>Sam summons Ruby in the basement.  Dean and I wait in the dark corner under the stairs.  He almost made me wait upstairs but I was able to convince him otherwise.  Sam tries to get Ruby to just give him the knife but she says no.  </p><p>Ruby chuckles.  “You wanna charge in with one little pigsticker?  It’s a waste of a true-blue opportunity.  Like getting Hitler with that exploding briefcase.  Forget it.  But don’t worry, I know how to save your brother.”</p><p>“No you don’t!  You told Dean you couldn’t!  You’ve been lying to me all along, so just give me your damn knife!”  Sam screams at her.</p><p>She rolls her eyes at him.  “Sam you’ve got some god given talent.  Well, not ‘god-given’ but you get the gist.”  </p><p>Sam looks at her confused.  “All that psychic crap?  Gone since the yellow-eyed demon died.”</p><p>She shakes her head at him.  “Not gone, dormant.  And not just visions either.  Why do you think Lilith is so scared of you?”</p><p>Sam just scoffs at her.  “I don’t believe you.”</p><p>“Well I had to wait to tell you until you were…”  Ruby trails off.  “Desperate enough?”  Sam finishes the thought for her.  She shrugs.</p><p>“So you're the slutty little yoda then?”  I ask as Dean and I finally come out of the shadows.  Ruby’s expression instantly sours at our approach.</p><p>“Charming as ever Evalynn.”  She simpers at me.</p><p>“You’re not teaching him anything skank.  Over my dead body.”  Dean growls.</p><p>“Oh, well you’re right about that.”  Ruby smirks at him before continuing her speech.  “Your brother is carrying a bomb inside of him and we’d be stupid not to use it.”</p><p>Dean suddenly swings at Ruby and punches her left jaw.  Ruby looks momentarily stunned but quickly recovers and lays two swift punches to each side of his face.  She hits him in the back then knees him in the stomach, sending him flying across the room.  Dean gets up with a grin across his bloody teeth.</p><p>“The hell are you grinning at?”  She questions accusingly.</p><p>“Missing something?”  Dean asks, holding her knife out.</p><p>Ruby’s expression is fuming.  “I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch!”  She rushes towards him but is suddenly jerked back like she hit an invisible wall.  Glancing up the bitch finally notices she is standing under a devils trap.</p><p>The three of us make our way out of the basement.  “Wait, you're just going to leave me here?  O-oh, I see, you’re just to stupid to live is that it?  Then fine!  You deserve hell Dean!  I wish I could be there, if only to smell the flesh as it sizzles off your bones!  I wish I could be there to hear you scream!”  Ruby screeches at us, her voice going at least two octaves higher.</p><p>“And I wish you’d shut your trap, but we don’t always get what we want Miss. Congeniality.”  I snipe back at her before closing the basement door.</p><p>It’s down to the final hour when we make it to New Harmony, Indiana.  We are watching the house in question from across the street looking in with binoculars.  “It’s the little girl.  Her face is awful.”  Dean says disgusted.  He is getting closer and closer to the veil now if he can see the true form of demons.  It’s like my vision is just thrumming at the base of my skull, getting louder and clearer with each passing moment.  </p><p>Sam tries to rush in gung-ho but Dean points out the mailman and a number of other people milling around outside our demons.  Bobby goes off to bless the neighborhood's water system.  Sam, Dean, and I go to take care of the look out demon’s that Dean spotted before going after the almighty Lilith.  We make our way to the backdoor of the house where Lilith is staying when suddenly Dean stops.</p><p>Ruby has appeared.  “Give me back my knife or I’m going to snap your neck like a chicken bone.”  But Sam comes up behind her and holds the knife to her throat.  “They don’t have it.”  She slowly backs away from the three of us.  </p><p>I look at her confused.  “How the hell did you get out?”  </p><p>“What you don’t know about me could fill a book, little shrieker.”  Ruby replies snidely.  She lets out a large sigh.  “Alright, Sam and the banshee need to come with me.  It’s time we got you two out of here.”  </p><p>“We aren’t going anywhere with you.”  Sam snarls.</p><p>“Listen dirt for brains, you had your chance, I already told you.  It’s too late now.  Dean is already dead and if you and your beloved sister don’t leave soon then you’ll both be dead as well.”  </p><p>Dean isn’t paying us much attention.  “Everybody shut up, we’ve got a bigger problem.”  He points to the small group of people staring at us from across the street.  Demons.</p><p>“Well it looks like we lost the element of surprise.”  I mutter.</p><p>Sam starts picking the lock as the demons rush towards us.  “Come on Bobby.  Come on.”  I whisper under my breath.  Suddenly the sprinklers turn on and all the demons on the lawn start screaming just as Sam opens the door.  The four of us run into the house.  We lock it behind us but that won’t hold them off for long.  </p><p>“You think Lilith knows we’re here?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“Probably.”  I mumble.</p><p>Dean knocks out the little girl's father when he refuses to go to the basement without his wife.  Him and I drag the poor unconscious guy towards the basement door while Sam and Ruby head upstairs to confront Lilith.  </p><p>Dean glances over at me as he hoists the man over his shoulder.  “There’s no changing my fate, is there Evie?”  </p><p>Tears threaten to spill over, my voice croaks out the tiniest “no.” </p><p>He’s silent for a moment.  “Just...tell me that you and Sam don’t die tonight.”  </p><p>“No, we don’t.”  I barely get out through a choked sob.  </p><p>Dean turns to me fully.  “No matter what happens...Evie I want you to know I love you and Sammy.  More than anything.”</p><p>I intertwine my pinkie finger with his.  “We love you to Dean.”</p><p>After we toss the man on the couch my vision finally becomes completely clear and I let out a shocked gasp.  Lilith isn’t possessing the little girl anymore, she’s possessing Ruby.  Dean looks at me in horror when I tell him.  We rush up the stairs to a bewildered Sam with Ruby’s body standing next to him.  Dean suddenly snaps his head up.  “I can hear them, the hellhounds are coming.”</p><p>“Sammy get away from her!  That’s not Ruby!”  I cry out in fear.</p><p>“Surprise!”  She says before all three of us are suddenly pinned to the wall.  </p><p>“How long have you been in her?”  Sam asks in shock.</p><p>Her facial expression suddenly becomes childlike, as if she is still trying to figure out how her new body works.  “Not long...but I like it, it’s all grown up and pretty.”</p><p>“Where’s Ruby?”  Sam demands.</p><p>“She was a bad girl so I sent her far far away.”  Lilith has a sing-song like voice.  She starts slowly walking up to Sam.  “You know I’ve wanted to meet you for a very long time.”  Lilith grabs a hold of his chin and ever so gingerly kisses his lips.</p><p>Finally she stops and Sam tries to turn his head away.  “Right, so you have me, let my siblings go.”  Sam tries demanding again.</p><p>Lilith lets out a creepy tinkling laugh.  “Silly goose, if you want to bargain you have to have something I want.  You don’t.”</p><p>“So this is your big plan huh?  Drag me to hell.  Kill Sam. Then what?  Become Queen bitch?”  Dean yells at her.</p><p>She fixes him with a shivering stare.  “I don’t have to answer to puppy chow.  Sic ‘em boys!”  </p><p>Lilith opens the door and I can hear the deep growl coming from the invisible spot in the open doorway, it nails clicking on the hardwood as it comes closer to us.  Lilith flings Dean onto the coffee table which instantly cracks under the pressure.  I can hear the hellhound snarl right before long bloody claw marks suddenly appear on Dean’s legs while he screams.  It’s my vision come true.  Sam and I try to break free, screaming almost as loud as Dean.  I cry out a babbling chorus of “no” over and over and over again.  Tears freely streaming down my face.  It feels like an eternity being trapped up on that wall but I’m sure it isn’t longer than a couple minutes.  Dean stops moving and it feels like I can’t breathe.  This can’t be real, maybe this is another one of my dreams.  Lilith drops us and my leg braces don’t deal with the sudden jarring impact.  I fall to the floor, my right hip smashing into the hardwood.  Sam rushes over and stands in front of me as Lilith stares us down.  She smiles at us then holds up her hand.  White light erupts out of it coming towards us.  Sam crouches down and covers his body with mine.  We hold onto each other tightly.  Suddenly the white light is retracted.  We glance up at Lilith and she looks confused that nothing happened.  </p><p>Lilith holds out her hand again.  “Back!”  She yells as Sam starts marching forward, stooping over to pick up the knife.  Lilith looks at him terrified as he keeps moving towards her.  Before he can gut the bitch, Lilith decides to take a stage left out of the body.  Black smoke comes screaming out of her open mouth before the girl’s body drops to the floor.  I start crawling towards Dean’s still form.  Maybe, this isn’t real, please god or whoever listens to people’s prayers, please don’t let my brother be dead.  I can’t do this.  I can’t live in this world without him.  Sam collapses in front of Dean, cradling his head, large back racking sobs howling out of him.  </p><p>“Dean...no, no - please no.”  My voice cracks when I reach them.  I see his dead eyes, his chest completely covered with blood.  Reality comes crashing down on me.  I curl around his arm.  I can feel his blood soaking through my shirt.  A harsh guttural sob wrenches it’s way out of my throat as I lie next to my oldest brother, my protector, my best friend.  He’s always been my indestructible rock and now he’s just...I can’t even think the word.  Then I scream, such a blood curdling scream it takes me a moment to realize the sound is coming from me.  The house quakes around us.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>THREE MONTHS LATER</p><p>The fucking bastard leave’s a note.  Bobby is gone on a hunt and my own fucking brother can’t even be bothered to tell me in person he’s leaving or why?  All he does is leave a stupid note that he’ll be gone for a while and not to come looking for him.  No explanation.  I can’t believe him.  I honestly can’t believe him sometimes.  Sam acts like he’s the only one going through shit right now.  Like he’s the only one grieving.  Every single time we talk these days it turns into a full on throw down argument.  He keeps talking about wanting to make a deal, wanting to bring Dean back.  But Dean wouldn’t want that, Dean died so that Sam could live and he’s just pissing it all away.  And then last night, oh last night he had the fucking self righteous audactiy to say he loved Dean more than I did.  I could have slapped him, I almost did.  </p><p>It’s two in the afternoon by the time I get up and discover Sam is gone.  At least it’s not too early to start drinking.  I pour myself a whiskey on ice, breakfast of champions.  Just like every other day I go out and sit on the front porch and stare at the junkyard.  Dean, Sam, and I used to play hide and seek out there when we were kids.  The fleeting thought brings back painful memories.  I take another sip of my drink.  </p><p>A few hours later the phone rings.  I rush in expecting it to be Sam or Bobby but strangely enough it’s an old friend of mine from high school, Larissa.  I’m momentarily shocked but Larissa talks enough for the both of us just as I remember her.  She says her boyfriend mentioned seeing me at the grocery store the other day.  She mocks being hurt over me not reaching out to tell her I was back in town and insists I go out for drinks with her at the old road house.  Before I even know what’s happening she has already made plans to pick me up at 8 tonight.  I guess drinking outside of the house instead of inside won’t make much of a difference.</p><p>I take a quick shower and slip on a black dress with flowers on it.  Staring at my reflection in the mirror my hands seem to be on autopilot doing my hair and makeup.  Larissa is prompt I’ll give her that much.  I haven’t seen her since I was seventeen, that was almost six years ago. </p><p>Larissa picks me up and immediately launches into everything she’s been doing since High School.  I nod and make little ‘hmm’ noises and comment ‘how interesting’ at appropriate intervals.  My responses must placate her enough because she just keeps talking.  </p><p>It doesn’t take long to make it to the old road house on the outskirts of town.  It’s a little...looser than other bars in the area.  They don’t particularly care about the age on your ID, they have gambling rooms in the back, and I’m fairly certain most of the local prostitutes use it as their operating base.  I remember Dean mentioning the road house a few times, he would never let me go though.  Something about that fact makes this entire situation with Larissa even stranger.</p><p>The place is essentially an old oversized barn that hasn’t been updated in more than a decade.  There’s some country song I don’t know playing as we go inside.  We make our way immediately to the bar.  Larissa keeps going on about how she wants to dance later.  After thirty minutes of us knocking back shots we are both becoming blessedly inebriated.  Larissa calls up her boyfriend Hank and slurs her words as she demands he comes out to meet her so she can dance.  She also demands he bring a friend for me to dance with, but I stare at her and point down at my leg braces and she hurriedly tells him to forget about it.  Unfortunately her boyfriend shows up with two other guys.  I roll my eyes at her suggestive comments of what I could do with two men.  I don’t think she remembers just how awkward I was in high school, particularly when it came to dating.  I certainly haven’t gotten any better in my twenties.  I’ve only ever kissed a guy once, Jimmy Falhone at senior prom.  Bobby almost shot him when he caught us on the front porch.  Haven’t really had or wanted any opportunities with everything happening the past few years.  God knows I’m certainly not interested in changing my habits now. </p><p>Hank and Larissa dance for a while.  The two guys he brought along try to talk to me for a few minutes but give up quickly enough when it’s obvious I’m not in the mood.  Suddenly Larissa is crying and yelling at Hank, screaming that they're over before she storms out.  Shit, she was my ride.  I clunk my head down on the bartop.  It feels like my brain is swimming around.  Every sense is dulled and slightly fuzzy right now.  I keep sipping on the beer one of those guys got me.  Hank and his two minions decide to join me again.  He orders another round of beers.  The back of my brain is telling me they are standing too close, Hank is acting too familiar.  I can’t seem to think straight though.  I can’t form a coherent enough sentence to tell them to leave me be.  I want to go home, I want to go back to Bobby’s.  I pull out my phone to try and call Sam.  He would come wouldn’t he?  But Hank snatches my phone away and says he’ll drive me home.  I manage to mumble out something along the lines of ‘sounds good’ before stumbling out of my bar stool.  Hank grabs me and pulls me along.  I don’t think I would be standing if I didn’t have him holding me up.  We don’t go to the parking lot though.  He drags me to one of the small outbuildings by the roadhouse.  Hank’s minions are following along behind us, hooting at Hank about something but I can’t quite make out.  My head feels like it’s full of cotton.  I ask him when we're going to his car and he tells me not to worry about it.  This is wrong, this doesn’t feel right.  “I wanna go home.  Something’s not right.  I wanna go home.”  I slur out.  </p><p>Hank laughs at me.  Why is he laughing?  “Don’t worry honey, I’ll take you home...you just have to do a few things for me and my friends first.”  He says in a low oily voice.  My brain finally seems to catch onto what is happening here.  Oh my god why has it taken me so long to figure out.  Why is my brain so sluggish?  Shit, this is really bad, holy shit I am an idiot.  How could I have let this happen?  </p><p>“No, no...you don’t, you don’t need to take me home.  I can - I can figure out something else.  Just leave me alone.  I don’t wanna do anything, I don’t, I don’t.”  My voice becomes progressively more slurred.  That only seems to egg Hank and his friends on further.  They open up the door to some kind of shed then Hank shoves me in the back and I fall onto the ground.  I feel little bits of gravel dig their way into my palms and knees.  One of them tells me to get on my back.  When I don’t move someone kicks me in the stomach.  Hank rolls me over and gets on top of me.  With as much force as I can muster I slap him across the face.  </p><p>Hank looks surprised at the strike.  “Ooh, I like you, you have some fight in you.”  He wipes a tiny bit of blood away at the edge of his lip before backhanding me.  I can feel the back of my head smack against the ground from the impact.  He grabs a hold of my legs and pushes them apart.  “Don’t fucking touch me!!”  I snarl at him.  </p><p>I try to strike him again, or at least push him away, but his two minions come on either side of me and each pin down one of my arms.  I yank at my arms but neither of them budge.  I’m about to scream but then Hank clamps a hand down over my mouth and makes a shushing sound.  I start hyperventilating against his disgusting sweaty palm.  His gross beady eyes appraise me with malevolent intent.  I can feel his other hand on my body, running up my leg underneath my dress.  “God you feel good.”  He murmurs into the side of my neck before licking it.  I think I may hurl.  I keep trying to free my arms but my attempts are useless. </p><p>Hank grabs at the front of my dress and rips it at the seam in the middle.  He pushes the fabric away exposing my bra and underwear for all of them to see.  My body starts shaking with abject terror.  I can’t believe this is happening.  How could I have let this happen?  Why on earth did I ever go out with Larissa?  Why did I let these monsters take me to this god forsaken shed?  </p><p>“You’re a pretty pale thing you know that?  I always wondered what you hid under those dresses when we were in high school.”  Hank murmurs.  Pushing his body closer to mine and licking at my neck again.  Then I hear him rustling with his belt and it feels like ice is running down my spine.  Oh god.  This is it.  Please no, god, please no!</p><p>Suddenly Hank is thrown off me against the wall.  His two cronies are tossed onto the opposite wall.  They all appear knocked out because they don’t get back up.  But I’m not particularly focused on them right now, no, the guy in the trench coat who just flung three fully grown men around like they were rag dolls has my undivided attention.  </p><p>I stare at him in complete shock.  My hands shakily curl in trying to cover myself from the strange man.  My dress is in tatters.  He looks at me perplexed.  “You do not need to fear me.  I am Castiel, an angel of the lord, sent from the heavens to protect Evalynn Winchester.”  </p><p>My eyes go wide and I hear my breath hitch.  Did he just say angel?  “I-I, I just wanna go home. Ple-please, I just wanna go home.”  I somehow manage to stutter out.  </p><p>“Of course.”  The man, Castiel apparently, says in a deep voice.  It seems that he has finally noticed my lack of clothes because his eyes go wide before he quickly spins around.  He takes off his trench coat and for a brief moment I worry that he will try and do what Hank just attempted, but then he tosses the coat back at me.  “I apologize.  I did not mean to witness you in such a state of undress.”  </p><p>After a few moments I manage to sit up and wrap the coat around me as best I can manage.  He turns back around awkwardly.  “I can take you home now.”  Before I have the opportunity to respond Castiel picks me up and suddenly we aren’t standing in that horrific shed anymore, but we’re standing in my room at Bobby’s house.  I let out a small yelp in surprise.  </p><p>I glance up at him.  “How...h-h-how did you do that?”  I ask in a high pitched stutter. </p><p>“Angels can teleport.”  He responds in a perfunctory manner.</p><p>“Right, right, of course.  Angels can teleport.  How silly of me.”  I murmur.  </p><p>Castiel gently sets me on my bed.  “Do you need any additional assistance?”  </p><p>“Would you mind grabbing me a nightgown?  They’re in the second drawer.”  I ask before my brain seems to even realize what it’s doing.  Castiel does as I request and sets my light blue one down at the bottom of the bed.  </p><p>He looks at me quizzically before sitting down on the bed next to me.  My spine instantly goes ramrod straight.  “The skin overlying your zygomatic arch is injured.”  He comments before trying to touch my face.  I back away from him reflexively.  Castiel pauses, his hand out in midair.  “I apologize I did not mean to frighten you.  You are injured.  It requires healing.”  </p><p>I stare at him.  “I suppose it will heal in time.  It doesn’t hurt much.  Nothing to lose sleep over.”  </p><p>He tilts his head to the side.  “I do not require sleep.”</p><p>Ever so slowly, like he’s worried he might spook me, Castiel reaches forward.  I don’t think my lungs are working because I can’t feel myself breathing.  The very tips of his fingers just barely graze my injury, he looks startled maybe?  Confused?  Then the man is gone almost as suddenly as he appeared.  I take off my leg braces, strip off the tatters of my dress, slip on the nightgown, and lie back on my pillow; instantly going into a thankfully dreamless sleep.</p><p>The next morning I wake up to noises of someone walking around downstairs in the kitchen.  Bobby must be back from his hunt.  I pull the old quilt up over my head to block out the sunlight streaming in through the blinds.  Did I just imagine everything last night?  Maybe it was just an extremely lucid vision?  My head is pounding.  Coffee, I need coffee then aspirin.  </p><p>I reluctantly throw the covers off of me.  Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed I glance at the ground and a lump gets caught in my throat.  My tattered dress is mocking me from the floor.  I think I’ll have to burn it.  And lying next to it is a tan trench coat.  Holy shit what happened last night was real...how could that have been real?  There’s no way that guy was an angel.  Maybe some sort of avenging spirit that thinks he’s an angel?  Like that one priest we had to lay to rest a while back?  But spirits can’t teleport people that far that fast.  It couldn’t have been real.  </p><p>Suddenly I hear a knock.  “Eggs and bacon will be ready in ten.  Your butt better be downstairs and at the dining table by then.”  Bobby’s muffled voice calls out through the door.</p><p>“Al-alright I’ll be down in a minute!”  I shout back.  I hear his footsteps go back down the stairs.  Letting out a large breath that fans across my face I quickly decide it’s best if Bobby doesn’t know about the events of last night.  Nothing happened anyways right?  I got home safe, that’s all that counts.  I shove the offending dress and the tan trench coat underneath my bed then put my braces back on and grab a robe as I head downstairs.  </p><p>“Mornin’ sunshine.”  Bobby drawls at me from the stove where he’s flipping bacon over in a pan.  I grumble back a tiny ‘morning’ to him as well before heading straight for the coffee.  The aspirin bottle is sitting right next to it.  If anyone on earth is an actual angel it’s Bobby Singer.  </p><p>We both sit down at the table.  Bobby asks what happened to my face.  I quickly reach up and push at the skin over my right cheek and wince.  I grumble out some flimsy excuse about tripping and smacking my face on a table.  I don’t think he believes me.  I slowly munch on my food, not really tasting it, there’s too much on my mind.  Bobby clears his throat.  “You weren’t here when I got back last night.  Tried calling a couple of times.  Did you and Sam go out or something?  Let me guess, he went home to some girl’s place.”</p><p>I let out a dark chuckle.  “Ya I went out last night, wasn’t with Sam though...just an old high school friend.  Sorry I didn’t call, I uh, I must have lost my phone.”  </p><p>He looks at me a little suspiciously but doesn’t press for details.  “And Sam?”  </p><p>I pick at my eggs for a few moments before responding.  “Gone.  Left a note on his bedside table upstairs.  Said he’d be gone for a while and not to go looking for him.  I assume he’s trying to find Lilith again.”  </p><p>Bobby lets out a deep sigh.  “Idgit.”  He grumbles before getting up and going over to his phone lines; I’m sure to make some calls and see if he can track Sam down.  Won’t do any good.</p><p>That night I started having the strangest dreams.  I see flashes of an earth scorched and scarred.  Billions of people are dead and dying all over the world.  The feeling of dread and hopelessness is all consuming.  I feel like I’m drowning in it as an inky darkness surrounds me and I fall deeper and deeper into its depths.  They feel like my visions do only...they can’t be visions.  It’s impossible.  Dean is in them, standing off to the side staring in horror.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>ONE MONTH LATER</p><p>Bobby and I are down in the basement finishing up our weekend project.  We’ve been meaning to build a demon and ghost proof bunker for a while now.  We’re arguing about whether or not to put extra rock salt rounds in the bunker when we hear someone at the front door.  Bobby goes upstairs to answer it.  A few minutes later I hear a commotion upstairs and I could swear I hear a man’s voice that sounds like...well it can’t be him but it sounds like Dean.  Maybe it’s Sam?</p><p>I walk upstairs and go into the kitchen then promptly drop my coffee mug at the site standing before me.  Bobby splashing holy water onto Dean.  He looks mildly irritated.  “I’m not a demon either you know.” </p><p>“Sorry, can’t be too careful.”  Bobby says.</p><p>Dean does a double take when he sees me.  “Evie.”  He practically whispers, voice thick with emotion, before barreling towards me and pulling me into a bone crushing hug.  My brain isn’t registering that it’s Dean.  He pulls back and looks at me a little hurt.  “Evie, please it’s me.  I promise you it’s really me.”  On reflex I pull the silver dagger out from the hidden pocket in my skirt and cut his arm.  “Son of a bitch!”  He yelps.  But the cut isn’t burning or turning a strange color...oh my god is that actually him?  “This isn’t possible.”  I hiss.</p><p>“Hey you’re preaching to the choir.”  Dean replies, shaking his head.  </p><p>“Dean your chest was ribbons.  Your insides were slop.  And you’ve been buried for four months.  Even if you could bust out of hell and slither back into your meat suit-”  Bobby starts but Dean cuts him off.  “I know, I know.  I should look like a thriller movie reject.” </p><p>“What do you remember?'' I ask shakily.</p><p>“Not much.  I remember I was a Hellhound’s chew toy, and then light’s out.  I came to six feet under, that was it.  By the way Evie, your number isn’t working...neither is Sam’s.  Is he, I mean, is he okay?”  </p><p>Bobby answers.  “He’s alive.  As far as we know.”</p><p>“Wait what do you mean as far as we know?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“He means that Sam bailed a month ago.  We’ve tried tracking him down but he wasn’t in the mood to be found apparently.”  I explain bitterly.</p><p>“What the hell Bobby?  I thought I said to look after both of them.”  Dean snaps.</p><p>“Hey, lay off Bobby alright.  He tried.  These last few months haven’t exactly been easy for us.”  I say, tears threatening to spill over.  </p><p>Dean frowns a little but manages to check himself.  “Alright, look I’m sorry it’s just been a rough go of it since I came topside okay...speaking of that, why the hell did you guys bury me?” </p><p>Bobby and I share a pointed look.  “Well, we wanted to salt and burn you, ya know, the usual drill.  But Sam wouldn’t have it.  He said you’d need a body when he got you back home somehow.”  Bobby explains. </p><p>“We figured when he took off he was going after Lilith but now that you’re back…”  I trail off.</p><p>Dean runs a frustrated hand over his face.  “Damn it Sammy!”  He seems to be pondering things over, trying to come up with a plan.  “Alright listen, now that I’m back we can find him, we’ll find him and undo whatever the hell he got himself into.”  </p><p>“Any idea what he got himself tangled up in?  Did you notice anything at your grave site?”  Bobby inquires. </p><p>“I don’t know.  When I pulled myself out of the ground it looked like a nuke or something had gone off.  All of the trees were blown back.  And then there was this...force, this presence.  I don’t know but it blew past me at a fill up joint.  And then there’s this.”  Dean says before rolling up his sleeve and showing us a hand print shaped brand on his shoulder.  </p><p>My eyes go wide.  “What in hell is that?”  </p><p>“No idea.”  </p><p>We pack up a few things and go out to one of Bobby’s old beater cars.  Sam took the impala when he left a month ago.  Dean is able to track him through his phone and finds Sam in Pontiac, Illinois.  Before we hop on the road again I grab Dean and pull him into a hug.  A real hug this time.  He hunches his shoulder around me and squeezes just as tight.  “I missed you.”  I whisper.  He just holds on a little tighter.  </p><p>The drive isn’t too terribly long, compared to some of our old road trips.  We make it there by nightfall.  We walk down the halls of the dingy hotel Sam is apparently staying in.  It was easy enough to con the front desk man into giving up Sam’s room number.  We knock on the door and a pretty petite brunette woman answers.  “So where is it?”  She asks.</p><p>We all glance at each confused.  “Where’s what?”  Dean chimes in.</p><p>“The pizza...that takes three people to deliver?”  </p><p>“I think we got the wrong room.”  Dean says but before the door closes, Sam comes up behind the woman.  He looks genuinely shocked to see all of us.</p><p>“Heya Sammy.”  Dean greets him before walking slowly into the room.  Bobby and I following behind.  Sam backs up a little bit before pulling out a knife and lunging at Dean.  “Who are you?”  Sam roars.  Dean blocks the attack and Bobby grabs a hold of Sam, gripping him around the shoulders to hold him back.  </p><p>“Like you didn’t do this!”  Dean seethes at Sam.</p><p>“Do what?”  </p><p>“Calm down Sam.  It’s him.  I’ve been through this.  It’s really him.  You think I would let Evalynn near him if it wasn’t?”  Bobby says.</p><p>Sam stares at Dean in disbelief.  “I know, I look fantastic right?”  Dean jokes walking towards him cautiously with his arms out.  Sam is on the verge of tears as he yanks Dean into a desperate hug.  </p><p>“So...are you two like...together?”  The brunette woman speaks up.  I forgot for a moment she was even in the room.</p><p>“What?  No, no, he’s my brother.”  Sam sputters out.</p><p>She looks mildly surprised.  “O-oh, uh, got it.  I guess I should probably go then?” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah that’s probably a good idea.”  Sam reaffirms.  She gets dressed quickly and he walks her to the door.  “So, call me?”  The young woman asks looking up at Sam.  </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, sure thing Kathy.”</p><p>Her face falls in disappointment.  “It’s Kristy.”  </p><p>“Right.  Sorry.”  Sam says his voice is a little pained.  She turns and walks down the hall in a dejected manner and Sam closes the door.</p><p>Dean has his arms crossed as he stares Sam down.  “So tell me what did it cost?”</p><p>Sam smiles.  “The girl?  Nothing, I don’t pay Dean.” </p><p>“That’s not funny Sam.  To bring me back.  What did it cost?”</p><p>“You think I made a deal?”  Sam asks, surprised.</p><p>“That’s exactly what we think.”  I seeth.  I’m still pissed at him for bailing on me.</p><p>“Well I didn’t!”  He snaps at me.</p><p>Dean grabs a hold of Sam’s collar.  “Don’t you lie to me!”  </p><p>“I’m not lying Dean!  Look I wish I could tell you it was me but it wasn’t okay?”</p><p>“There’s no other way this is possible.  Tell the truth!”  Dean yells at him.</p><p>Sam finally breaks Dean’s grip on him.  “I tried everything!  That’s the truth.  I tried opening the devil’s gate.  Hell, I tried to bargain Dean, but no demon would deal alright?  You were rotting in hell Dean because of me for months.  For months and I couldn’t stop it.  So I’m sorry but it wasn’t me alright?” </p><p>We all glance around the room, confused, if it wasn’t Sam then who in the hell was it that busted Dean out of hell?</p><p>“It’s okay Sammy, I believe, sorry for going off on you.”  Dean relents.</p><p>Bobby pipes up.  “Don’t get me wrong.  I’m glad Sam’s soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question.  If he didn’t pull you out, then what did?”</p><p>After a fair amount of bickering back and forth we decide to go with Bobby’s plan of speaking to a psychic he knows nearby.  I ride with Sam and Dean in the impala.  Ever since Dean came back topside I don’t want to let him out of my site.  I keep worrying I’ll turn around and he’ll disappear again.  </p><p>Dean is the first to break the silence.  “There’s one thing that’s still bothering me.”</p><p>“Yeah, what’s that?”  I ask.</p><p>“The night that I bit it...or got bit.  How’d you two make it out?  I thought Lilith would have killed you both?”</p><p>“Well she tried, but she couldn’t.”  Sam answers nonchalantly.</p><p>“What do you mean she couldn’t?”  </p><p>“She fired this like, burning light at me and Evie.  So I curled myself around Evie thinking we were both goners, and it didn’t do anything....didn’t leave a scratch.  It’s like I was immune.”  Sam tries to explain.  I still don’t understand what happened that night.</p><p>Dean side eyes him skeptically.  “Immune?”  </p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know who was more surprised her or us.  Lilith left pretty fast after that.”</p><p>“So, where is Ruby?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“Dead, far as I know.”  Sam answers quickly.</p><p>“So, you haven’t been using uh...any freaky ESP stuff then?”  Dean grills him.</p><p>“What?  No!  Dean you didn’t want me to go down that path so I didn’t.  It was practically your dying wish.”  Sam defends himself.</p><p>Dean still looks skeptical.  “Alright, well, let’s keep it that way.”</p><p>We eventually reach the psychic that Bobby was telling us about.  She gives Bobby a big hug when she sees him.  “You are a sight for sore eyes.”  The woman exclaims with a wide ready smile.  </p><p>She glances over his shoulder at the three of us.  “So, these the Winchesters?”  </p><p>“Sam, Dean, Evalynn, this is Pamela Barnes.  The best damn psychic in the state.”</p><p>“Hey”  Dean greets her with a flirtatious smile.  </p><p>Pamela easily reciprocates.  “Mmm-mmm-mmm.  Dean Winchester.  Out of the fire and back in the frying pan, huh?  Makes you a rare individual.”  </p><p>We follow her inside.  Pamela goes over to a cupboard while chatting with Bobby and grabbing things for a seance.  She squats down in front of a cabinet to grab something else.  Dean cocks his head at the tattoo reading “jesse forever” scrawled along her lower back.  </p><p>“Who’s Jesse?”  Dean asks with a smirk.</p><p>Pamel laughs.  “Well it wasn’t forever that’s for sure.”</p><p>“His loss.”  </p><p>She glances over her shoulder at Dean with that wide smile.  “Might be your gain.”  </p><p>Dean moves to hover closer to Sam and I.  “Oh, I am so in!”  He says excitedly. </p><p>I raise my eyebrows at him.  “Dean, she's gonna to eat you alive.”</p><p>Pamela passes by the three of us and looks pointedly at Sam.  “You’re invited too tall boy.”</p><p>As soon as she is out of earshot Dean rounds on Sam.  “You are so not invited!”  </p><p>A few minutes later all of us are sitting around the table holding hands.  “Alright, I’ve got to touch something our mystery monster touched.”  Pamela says before snaking her hand under the table and grabbing Dean’s thigh.  He jumps suddenly.  “Woah he didn’t touch me there!” </p><p>She laughs a little.  “My mistake.”  </p><p>Dean rolls up his shirt sleeve to show her the strange hand print shaped mark.  Pamela lays her hand on it and begins chanting “I invoke conjure and command you, appear unto me before this circle” over and over again.  Then she pauses.  “Castiel?  No.  Sorry, Castiel, I don’t scare easy.”  I think my heart just stuttered, did she say Castiel?  It couldn’t possibly be him?</p><p>The room starts to rattle and a white noise buzzes louder in our ears.  “Maybe we should stop…” Bobby says nervously.  </p><p>“No, no, I’ve almost got it.  Show me your face.  Show me your face!”  Pamela cries out.  Then suddenly she is screaming and her eyes fly open.  They are filled with white hot flames.  We all look at her in horror.  Then it all stops and it feels like the room has stilled.  “Call 9-1-1!”  Bobby yells at us.  </p><p>Bobby follows the ambulance to the hospital.  The three of us tried to take a breather at a nearby diner but the place is overrun by demons.  Shockingly they don’t attack us though.  They don’t have any idea who let Dean out of the hot box and they seem just as worried about it as we are.  Sam and Dean argue about going back and killing off the demons in the diner.  I don’t know what the hell Sam is thinking, we don’t even know how many are in there but it’s got to be at least three of four.  We’ve only got the one knife between us.  Luckily Dean completely overrides his insane impulse to take on several demons at once.  </p><p>Dean curls up on the couch and Sam and I each take one of the double beds in the motel room.  I’m reluctant to close my eyes.  I worry that I’ll wake up and discover this was all an elaborate dream, but my frayed nerves seem to have other plans for me and eventually my lids fall heavy and its lights out.  I am awoken by that same strange static like noise from Pamela’s house, but as the noise becomes a higher and higher pitch the static quality starts to fade away and I can swear I hear a voice.  The voice sounds familiar.  It’s asking to meet us I think.  I’m not quite sure.  It sounds like a different language, but I just have this distinct feeling it wants to meet us.</p><p>Someone jumps on top of me.  It takes me a moment to realize that it’s Dean.  I can hear the glass on the ceiling shatter.  Then I overhear Bobby’s voice yelling at us from the doorway and just as suddenly as the odd noise started it stops.  Bobby runs over and grabs my leg braces while Dean just picks me up and the three of us book it out of there.  I can’t stop the shiver from wracking down my spine.  Bobby helps me get my braces on while I sit in the backseat of his car.  What in the hell was that?  Dean is pacing back and forth.  Sam and the impala are both gone to god knows where.  “That’s it.”  Dean mutters under his breath and hops into the passenger seat. </p><p>We drive off, although I have no idea where in the hell we can go at this point.  “How are you two kids holding up?”  Bobby breaks the silence.  </p><p>“Aside from the church bells ringing in my head.  Just peachy.”  Dean snarks at him.</p><p>I chew on the inside of my mouth, a long time nervous habit, I don’t think I can put this off any longer.  I need to tell them.  “I uh, I’m pretty sure whatever it is wants to meet us, and I think...well I think I might have met him before.”  I stammer out.</p><p>Dean whips his head around and gives me a hard stare.  “What exactly do you mean met him before?”  </p><p>I bite down a little harder on the inside skin of my cheek.  “The name, Castiel, I’ve umm...I’ve met someone named Castiel recently.”  </p><p>Dean narrows his eyes at me suspiciously.  “And you’re just sharing this with the class now because?”  </p><p>I let out an exasperated sigh.  “Because Dean I didn’t even know if it was real or not!  The entire night is still a blur.  The man, Castiel, he said and did...well just impossible things.  I thought maybe it was some kind of strange banshee vision or something.  I didn’t know what to think until Pamela mentioned the same name today.”  </p><p>“I think you have some explaining to do kid.”  Bobby chimes in. </p><p>“Alright, alright, just try to be understanding okay?  It was the day I found out Sam had left.  Bobby, you were gone helping Rufus on a hunt and I didn’t want to disturb you.  An old high school friend called, wanted to get a drink down at the roadhouse.  She invited her boyfriend and these other guys to meet us there...then she, she got in this huge fight with him and stormed off.  I didn’t have a ride home and my head started to feel fuzzy.  Her boyfriend, Hank, he and his friends helped me outside and said they would take me home but umm, well, we didn’t go to his car.”  I stop the words choking in my throat.  I can’t look Dean in the eye.  </p><p>“Did he…”  Dean’s voice sounds strained.  </p><p>“No, no he tried to but right before...we were in a shed and right before he was about to, to - well you know what I’m getting at - this man suddenly appeared out of thin air and flung Henry and his cronies across the room like they were stuffed toys.”  </p><p>I finally glance up at Dean and Bobby and they look visibly paler.  I figure I might as well tell them everything.  In for a penny in for a pound.  “The man said his name was Castiel and that he was, was an angel sent to protect me.  Obviously I didn’t believe him, I mean come on, an angel?  But then he picked me up and in the blink of an eye we were back in my room at Bobby’s place.   I couldn’t believe it.  Literally I didn’t believe it.  I thought I was dreaming the whole thing, but the next morning I found the trench coat Castiel had given me to cover up with on the floor...I just, I don’t know I guess it must have been real.”  </p><p>I wring my hands together anxiously.  Glancing up I see Dean’s jaw ticking.  I don’t know if it’s anger at Hank, or me, or Castiel, or all three combined.  Bobby looks crestfallen.  This is why I didn’t want to say anything.  I didn’t want Bobby to feel bad or guilty.  He has always taken so much responsibility over me, more so than my own father ever did.  </p><p>“Well, I don’t know what saved you that night, but I do know one thing.  This Castiel is no angel.  There is no such thing...I’m also going to need the full name of this guy Hank.”  Dean mutters the last part, a dark edge to his tone.</p><p>“See this is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you guys.  It doesn’t matter alright?  Castiel stopped him, I’m fine okay?  To be frank, I don’t really give a shit what he is.  If he is the one who brought you back and saved me from those...those monsters.  Then I don’t really care.”  I huff at him.</p><p>“Ya well, this Castiel also seared Pamela’s eyes out so let’s not give him a gold star just yet.”  Dean replies haughtily.  Bobby is silent, he glances in the rearview mirror at me for a moment and I can tell his eyes are a little misty.</p><p>Sam calls us then and makes up some excuse about taking the car to grab a burger.  I don’t think any of us are buying it.  Dean doesn’t mention what happened at the hotel room though.  He lies and says we’re all going out for a beer.  </p><p>“What the hell did you lie to him for?”  Bobby asks.</p><p>“Because if I didn’t lie then he would try and stop us.”  </p><p>I look at Dean confused.  “Stop us from what?”  </p><p>He glances back at me.  “Stop us from summoning Castiel.  It’s time we face him head on.”  </p><p>Bobby stares at him dumbfounded.  “You cannot be serious!”  </p><p>“As a heart attack.  It’s high noon baby.” </p><p>The pit of anxiety deep in my stomach that has been running on high since Dean came back notches up another level.  “Dean this is a bad idea.  Listen maybe this Castiel is a demon, maybe he’s a monster, but maybe just maybe there is a slight chance that he actually is an angel.  What do we even know about them?”  </p><p>Nothing Bobby or I say deters him.  We set up in an old abandoned warehouse and spray paint every possible sigil we know.  Unload every weapon we have including Ruby’s knife.  Bobby starts the summoning chant in latin.  We are all taught as a bow string.  But then, nothing happens.  We wait, and wait, and keep waiting.  After thirty minutes of just standing around we are all getting a little tired and bored.  </p><p>Dean looks annoyed.  “You sure you did the ritual right?”  Bobby gives him a pointed glare.  “Sorry, touchy.”  Dean mumbles.  </p><p>Suddenly the door bursts open.  “Wishful thinking guys, maybe it’s just the wind?”  I question hopefully.  Then the man who saved me that awful night stalks into the warehouse wearing the same old business suit and trench coat as before.  The light bulbs overhead shatter in a shower of sparks as he walks closer.  Dean and Bobby open fire but it doesn’t slow him down, it doesn’t even seem to mildly deter him.  Somehow I already knew that.  When he’s a couple of feet away Dean jumps forward and plunges Ruby’s knife into the man’s chest.  He simply glances at the knife sticking out before grabbing the handle and slowly removing it then dropping it on the floor.  He seems unbothered by our open hostility towards him.  “Who are you?”  Dean asks in a tone between awestruck and horror struck.  </p><p>Castiel’s eyes are almost an electric blue as they bore into Dean’s.  “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”  </p><p>“Ya, thanks for that.”  Dean comments.  Bobby lunges for Castiel next.  Without even looking Castiel grabs Bobby’s weapon and uses it to swing him around before placing a hand on his forehead causing Bobby to suddenly collapse to the ground.  I let out a shriek.  Dean stares at Bobby’s prone form stunned.</p><p>“We needed to talk alone.”  Castiel says in a deep dry voice.  Dean moves himself in front of me, pulling at my arm so I stay behind him.</p><p>“Did you...did you just?”  I stammer out.  Castiel directs his attention towards me instead, his expression becomes the tiniest bit more thoughtful.  “There is no need to worry Evalynn, your friend is alive.” </p><p>Dean and I let out a collective sigh of relief.  “Who are you?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“Castiel.”</p><p>Dean scoffs at him.  “I figured that much, I mean what are you?”</p><p>“I am an angel of the lord.”</p><p>“Get the hell out of here.  There is no such thing.”  Dean growls at him.</p><p>Castiel’s expression is blank, neutral.  “This is your problem Dean.  You have no faith.”  Lightning flashes in the background illuminating what appears to be wings taking up the entire span of the warehouse radiating from Castiel’s back.  I can practically feel raw energy coming off him.  It’s like nothing I’ve ever encountered before.</p><p>“Right, an angel, just your friendly neighborhood angel who burns out people’s eyes.”  Dean remarks with fury. </p><p>“I warned her not to spy on my true form.  It can be…overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice.  But you already knew that didn’t you Dean?”</p><p>“That was you talking?”  I question.  Castiel nods at me.  </p><p>“Buddy, next time lower the volume.”  Dean quips at him.</p><p>“That was my mistake.  Certain people, special people like Evalynn, can perceive my true visage.  I thought you Dean might be one of those people.  I was wrong.”</p><p>Dean looks him over.  “And what visage are you supposed to be now huh?  Holy tax accountant?” </p><p>“This?  This is a vessel.”  </p><p>“Wait a minute, you are possessing someone right now?”  I ask.</p><p>“Not exactly.  He was a devout man who fell into a coma several months ago.  I received permission from his soul just before it left for heaven to inhabit this body.”  </p><p>“Well now that’s just plain creepy, like pet cemetery level creepy.  Listen pal I’m not buying what you’re selling.  So who are you really?”  Dean threatens.</p><p>Castiel frowns.  “I already told you.”</p><p>“Right well I understand an angel intervening and saving my sister from a bunch of fucked up humans, but why would an angel rescue me from hell?” </p><p>“Good things do happen Dean.”</p><p>Dean’s jaw is grinding together so hard I’m afraid it may crack.  “That’s generally not been our experience.”  I chime in.</p><p>Castiel stares with an intense confusion at Dean.  “You don’t think you deserve to be saved?” </p><p>“Why’d you do it?”  Dean’s voice breaks slightly.</p><p>“Because God commanded it.  Because we have work for you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>We have all been arguing the past week over whether or not we believe Castiel, whether or not we believe in angels and I suppose, well I suppose god to.  As far as we can tell Castiel has to be telling the truth.  There is nothing else out there besides an angel that has the juice to fly someone’s ass out of the hot box with no strings attached.  </p><p>Bobby tore Sam a new one when we got home.  He just about ripped Sam’s head off for leaving me alone here.  For what almost happened on that terrible night.  I had to yank Bobby off him.  </p><p>We start getting calls from other hunters worried about something.  Bobby hasn’t heard from Olivia in a while.  Much to my objection Dean insists I stay behind.  I wonder whether he doesn’t want me to go because he thinks it will keep me safe or because he thinks I slow them down.  I try to not think much about my legs, there’s nothing to be done about it.  In moments like these though I can’t help but wonder if Dean and Bobby wouldn’t treat me like such a china doll if I didn’t need the leg braces.  It’s ridiculous, they all know I’m the best shot.  I’ve held my own plenty of times before yet they always treat me with kid gloves.  </p><p>I fume silently while I sit in front of the oven watching the chocolate chip cookies rise.  God I’m predictable.  The second Dean’s back and leaves me behind for a dangerous hunt I start baking.  I always used to stress bake when I didn’t know where he was, if he was okay.  Just something to do that felt productive I suppose.  Dean has always been the reckless one, the one to worry over.  Now he’s back.  He’s back and running straight into danger again.  </p><p>I absentmindedly munch on a cookie from the first batch.  Then I hear glass shattering.  I look up from the oven startled.  The vase from the dining table is smashed to pieces on the ground.  That’s...odd.  I reach out and turn off the oven.  Something is wrong.  The room suddenly feels colder.  Shit, there’s a spirit, how is there a spirit here?  I turn around and reach for the rifle loaded with rock salt strapped underneath the dining table.  My hands on the hilt when the air in front of me becomes static, then Nancy is standing there.  The poor girl who died at the police station.  We thought we had saved them.  I thought she was in the clear.  That my vision had been averted but I missed it.  It wasn’t the demon swarm who killed them, it was Lilith.  </p><p>“Long time no see Evalynn.”  Nancy smiles at me with an unnaturally large grin.  She isn’t...she isn’t Nancy, not really.  Her spirit is warped somehow.  I slowly pull the gun out from under the table then yank it up and shoot for the chest.  She disappears with a few singes of black ash floating in the air.  I make a run for it to the basement.  I get to the bottom of the stairs then suddenly I’m slammed into the wall.  My right temple smashes into the concrete and I feel a trickle of blood run down the side of my face.  I slump onto the floor.  My gun has skidded about ten feet away.  Nancy is standing at the bottom of the staircase smiling.  Crap.  I take a few deep breaths.  I’m so close to the bunker but she moves to stand in front of it.  Crap, crap, crap.  “You could have saved me but you didn’t.  I was willing to sacrifice myself but you...you weren’t.  When they asked for a virgin I volunteered and you didn’t!  You could have stepped up.  You could have saved me!”  She screeches before picking me up by my cardigan and tossing me across the room.  The back of my head hits the wall and I start to see dark spots.  </p><p>Castiel materializes out of thin air next to Nancy.  He cuts through her with some sort of blue beam of light and she disappears.  I let out a deep shaky breath of relief and I can feel a sharp pain along my spine. Damn that’s going to leave a bruise.  Castiel silently picks me up as gingerly as possible and takes me into the bunker.  The door closes behind us on its own, although I’m fairly certain that was his doing.  He sets me down on the small cot.  When I look up into his blue eyes they are staring at me with such intense seriousness.  I’m not quite sure what to think of him.  </p><p>“Please hold still Evalynn.”  He says in a disconcertingly calm manner.  Castiel lays one of his hands on my temple.  A curiously confused expression flits across his face.  “What exactly are you doing?”  I ask.</p><p>“All angels can heal.  It is my duty as your guardian to see that you are unharmed yet I...I can’t heal you.”  He says in such an odd uncertain tone.  </p><p>“Right.  Can you um, can you stop touching me then?”  </p><p>Castiel blinks slowly a couple of times before seeming to come back to his senses and pulling his hands away.  “I apologize.  Do you require a hospital?”  </p><p>I crinkle my nose a little at him.  “I’m just fine Castiel.”  </p><p>He nods seemingly appeased.  “Then you will remain here.  I am needed on the front.”  </p><p>“Wait, just hold on.  I need to warn Bobby and my brothers.  My phone won’t work in here.”</p><p>He squints his eyes at me.  “I said you will remain here.  They are capable of taking care of themselves.”  </p><p>I give him a withering stare.  “Thank you for the concern, but I still need to warn them.”  </p><p>“I am sure they have already figured it out.”  Castiel counters.</p><p>I let out an annoyed sigh.  “Listen, I just got my brother back from hell.  Do you understand that?  It was stupid of me to let him out of my sight in the first place.  I ca - I can’t let anything happen to him again.  I just can’t okay?  We need to warn him.”  </p><p>His stare feels like hard ice is piercing my core.  Then I feel metal clasp around my hand.  I look down in shock to see he handcuffed me.  I can’t believe this.  He handcuffed me to the cot.  The cot that’s welded to the floor.  My mouth is agape as I glare at him.  “Are you kidding me?”  </p><p>His head quirks to the side almost like a dog.  “I am not jesting at the moment, no.”  </p><p>“Let.  Me.  Go.”  I snarl. </p><p>“I cannot be sure you will not leave the bunker.  I need to return to my garrison.”  He says matter of factly again. </p><p>“Cas, no wai--”  He disappears before I get the chance to finish my sentence.  </p><p>“Damn it!”  I scream.  I yank on the handcuff a couple times but it’s no use.  </p><p>“Alright, it’s alright.  You just need to focus.  If you focus hard enough you’ll see if anything is going to happen to them.”  I whisper to myself.  I close my eyes and try to probe into the future as best as I can.  It’s been fairly hit and miss in the past but it’s worth a shot.  I don’t get anything.  No visions.  No tingling sensation.  I would see something coming if it were about Bobby or my brothers right?  I mean we practically spend every waking hour together.</p><p>I chew on my lip anxiously.  Bouncing my leg against the floor.  My breath catches in my throat when I hear the door knob start to turn.  I can feel my heart about ready to beat out of my chest.  There’s no way a ghost could get through!  </p><p>The door swings open wide and I let out a sigh of relief.  It’s Bobby, Sam, and Dean.  They slam the door shut quickly.  </p><p>Dean slowly walks over to me with a perturbed expression.  “What the hell happened to you?”  </p><p>I glare at him.  “Castiel happened.  Nancy’s spirit came after me in the kitchen.  He showed up a minute later and got me in the bunker.  I told him I needed to warn you.  Then he went ten shades of psychopath and handcuffed me to the cot so I wouldn’t leave.  He said he needed to rejoin his garrison?  Whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean.”</p><p>Dean quickly bends down and picks the handcuff lock open.</p><p>Bobby looks skeptical.  “Rejoin his garrison?  You mean there are more angels out there?”  </p><p>I shake my head at him.  “I don’t know Bobby.  He didn’t say anything else.  Just took off as per usual.” </p><p>Bobby pieces the puzzle together and figures out it’s the mark of the witnesses that’s causing the spirits of the people we couldn’t save to come after us.  “The mark of the what?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“The witnesses boy.  The unnatural.  None of them died so called ordinary deaths.  These ghosts, they were forced to rise.  They woke up in agony.  They’re like rapid dogs, it ain’t their fault.  Someone rose them on purpose.”</p><p>A dawning realization falls over me.  “That’s why I felt it wasn’t her.”  Bobby gives me a questioning glance.  “When I saw Nancy, I could have sworn it wasn’t really her.  Her spirit seemed...warped somehow.  Couldn’t really put my finger on it.”  </p><p>Bobby always got a tad disconcerted when I did stuff like this.  Stuff that reminded him I wasn’t entirely human.  Sam and I may not be particularly close, but in that regard he understands me more than anyone in the entire world.  </p><p>Sam has a pensive face on.  “Bobby, what has the power to do something like this?  What does it mean?”  </p><p>“Do I look like I know?  Whoever it was used a spell so powerful it left a mark, a brand on their souls.  Whoever did this has big plans.  The rising of the witnesses figures into an ancient prophecy.”  </p><p>“A prophecy of what?”  Dean questions.</p><p>“The apocalypse.”  Bobby answers in a hushed tone.</p><p>Dean stares at him dumbfounded.  “Apocalypse?  The apocalypse, apocalypse?  The four horsemen, five dollar a gallon gas apocalypse?”  </p><p>Bobby’s face is profoundly disturbed.  “The one in the same.”  </p><p>“Okay so...what do we do now?”  Sam asks.  </p><p>Dean lets out a laugh.  “Road trip.  Grand Canyon, star trek experience, bunny ranch.”  He points a finger at Sam as if to emphasize his last point.  </p><p>I stare at Dean.  My face must look freaked because his joking carefree attitude quickly disappears.  “This can’t be real can it?  The apocalypse?  I mean that’s just fairy tale whack-a-do bible thumping mumbo jumbo...I just...okay this is going to sound really strange right now but I need someone to tell me if this is real or if I’m dreaming?”  My voice is trembling, my entire body is trembling.  It’s been years since I had to ask them if something was real or if I was dreaming.  </p><p>Dean is on me in an instant rubbing my shoulder in an attempt to be soothing.  “This is real Evie.  This is real.  It’s going to be alright though.  I promise you, everything will be alright.  We’ll figure this out just like we always do okay?”  </p><p>The tiniest ‘ok’ leaves my mouth but I don’t believe it.  My dreams, the dreams that I thought couldn’t be visions.  Oh god, oh god, I think I was seeing the apocalypse.    </p><p>I sit down slowly on a chair.  My entire body feels numb.  Dean sends me worried glances every couple of minutes as they discuss what to do about the witnesses.  Unfortunately the spell we need to break it requires an open fireplace.  Not exactly something we had planned for when designing the bunker.  Bobby agitatedly tells us we don’t have extra salt rounds.  I silently went over to the chest where I stocked some ammunition a couple of days ago and opened it up.  A deep wrenching feeling claws its way through my gut.  I must have known, deep down I must known this was going to happen.  Why else would I have been so insistent about stashing salt rounds in the bunker?  Bobby and Sam glance at each other furtively, they must be thinking the same thing.  </p><p>We make it, just barely, but we make it and are able to stop the witnesses and break the spell.  That night my recurring dream comes back, more intense, more clear than before.  It’s the same thing, scorched earth, billions of bodies, then the black hopeless ink pulls me under and it feels like I’m drowning.  My eyes fly open and I’m awake.  Suddenly the overwhelming urge to go downstairs takes over.  Like the universe is whispering in my ear that I need to get up and go to the kitchen right now.  I follow my instincts and sneak down the staircase, making sure to avoid each of the creaky spots on the steps.  I hear voices as I make my way down the hall.  It’s Castiel and Dean.  I look at them confused.  Not entirely sure why they are here, why I am here.  I feel like I just came out of a trance.  I blink a couple times trying to clear my head.  For just the briefest of moments Castiel seems, surprised?  Uncertain maybe?  Then it’s gone.  </p><p>Dean fixes me with a hard stare and positions himself between me and the angel.  “You should go back to bed Evie.”  </p><p>“I think...I think I’m supposed to be down here with you both.  I don’t know why.”  My perplexed gaze darts back and forth between my brother and Castiel.  The angel’s stoney mask doesn’t waver again.    </p><p>“Excellent job with the witnesses by the way Dean.”  Castiel says in an all knowing tone.  That seems to grab Dean’s attention as he turns around slowly to face him.  “Ya, thanks for all the angelic assistance.  You know, I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest.”  He snaps. </p><p>“But you didn’t.”  Castiel responds dryly.  </p><p>Dean is fuming.  “I thought you angels were supposed to be guardians.  Fluffy wings, halos - you know Michael Landon types.  Not dicks.”  I lightly smack him on the back.  He shouldn’t call an angel a dick even if he deserves it.  I feel like that might be blasphemy.  </p><p>“Read the bible.  Angels are warriors of god.  I am a soldier.”  </p><p>Dean smirks at him.  “Oh ya, a soldier huh?  Then why didn’t you fight?” </p><p>Castiel’s face becomes even colder if that’s possible.  “We had larger concerns...I am not here to perch on your shoulder Dean.  I am here to protect her and prevent the coming war.”  </p><p>Dean storms up to him.  In a panic I follow along behind.  Is he going to try and fight an angel?  I feel that would only end poorly.  “Protect her?  My kid sister you mean?  You don’t need to protect her, I’m her brother, I protect her!”  He fumes at the angel.   </p><p>Castiel’s stone face is unmoving, unblinking, as he stares down Dean.  “I am following heaven’s orders as is my duty.”  </p><p>“Following orders?  Then where the hell is your boss huh?  If there even is a god.” </p><p>“There is a god.”  Castiel says with certainty.  </p><p>Dean scoffs.  “Well I’m not convinced.  If there is a god what the hell is he waiting for huh?  When the hell does he lift a damn finger to help the poor bastards stuck down here!”  </p><p>Castiel’s neutral exterior finally cracks again, and for a second I see apprehension on his face.  “The lord works--”  Dean cuts him off.  “If you say in mysterious ways so help me I will kick your ass.  So Bobby was right then?  About the witnesses?  This was a sign of the apocalypse?”  </p><p>Suddenly Castiel locks eyes with me.  An odd expression crosses his face.  One I can’t put my finger on.  “That’s why we are here for the first time in nearly two thousand years.  You have seen what will happen if we lose, haven’t you Evalynn?”  </p><p>Dean’s back stiffens and he whips around to face me.  “Evie?  What is he talking about?”  </p><p>I can feel the blood rush to my cheeks.  My entire body feels flush at being caught.  “Dean I, I didn’t think they were visions.  Not until today.”</p><p>Dean looks stricken.  “What have you seen?”  </p><p>I break his gaze, I can’t look at him anymore.  “You don’t want to know.”  I whisper. </p><p>“The rising of the witnesses is one of the 66 seals.  You need to know what is at stake Dean.  You need to understand there is a bigger picture here.”  Castiel states.</p><p>“What the hell is a seal?”  Dean grinds out through gritted teeth.</p><p>“The seals are being broken by Lilith.”  </p><p>I glance up at Castiel.  “Broken?  What does that mean?”  </p><p>He seems to be struggling to find the right words.  “Think of the seals as locks on a door.”  </p><p>“Alright, what happens when the door opens?”  I ask.</p><p>Castiel gives me a withering look and somehow I think I already know the answer.  “Lucifer walks free.”  </p><p>Dean finally seems to be catching up.  “Lucifer?  Like demon Sunday school Lucifer?”  </p><p>“Yes that is why we have arrived.”  Castiel answers matter of factly. </p><p>“Well bang up job so far, stellar work with the witnesses.”  Dean mocks him.  </p><p>Castiel stalks forward until he is practically toe to toe with him.  “We tried.  There are other battles, other seals.  Some we will win, some we will lose.  This one we lost.  Our numbers are not unlimited.  Six of my soldiers died in the field this week.  You think the armies of heaven should just follow you around?  There’s a bigger picture here.  You should show me some respect.  I dragged you out of hell, I can throw you back in.”  </p><p>His disturbing words send a chill down my spine.  He glances over at me as I stare at him in abject horror at what he just threatened.  That odd expression sweeps over his face again.  Then he vanishes.  </p><p>I startle awake, gasping for breath.  Was that?  Did I just have a dream within a dream?  Is this real right now?  My heart is practically pounding out of my chest.  I think, at least I’m fairly sure this is real now.  No, this has to be real now, I wasn’t wearing my braces in the last dream.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Several days later when we’re off on a hunt Dean suddenly wakes me from my sleep.  Telling me we have to find Sam now.  I follow along after him confused.  It’s becoming so much harder to tell the difference between reality and dreams anymore.  </p><p>I didn’t even realize Sam was missing, but somehow Dean knows exactly where to find him.  He mutters something about Castiel.  I assume the angel must have tipped him off.  When we get there what we see is...well I don’t even know what it is.  Sam he, he is exorcising a demon with his mind.  Dean and I just stand there and stare at him in terror for a few moments.  Then Dean rips into him.  He tears into Sam in a way I have never seen before.  When he finds out the girl Sam is exorcising demons with, the same girl from the hotel room in Indiana, is Ruby.  Dean looks ready to kill her.  I keep hoping beyond hope this isn’t real, but it...it feels real.      </p><p>Of all the demons to be sneaking around behind our backs with it had to be Ruby.  Something is off with him.  I can tell.  I just can’t reconcile that Sam would choose to go hunt Lilith with a demon over me back when Dean was still gone.  I mean, I know I was never as close with Sam as I was with Dean, but I always figured when push came to shove he would be in my corner.  We may only be half siblings but still that has to count for something with him doesn’t it?  Something that would stop him from bailing on me in the middle of the night with zero explanation to go and what?  Pal around with a demon?  </p><p>The second we get back to the motel room Dean starts packing up his stuff and my stuff.  I can feel the anger radiating off of his stiff form.  He gives me a pointed look as he slings my duffel bag over his shoulder.  “Come on Evie we’re going.”  Dean grabs my arm and starts dragging me towards the door.  </p><p>“What are, are you leaving?”  Sam asks incredulously.</p><p>“You don’t need me or Evie.  You’ve got Ruby to go hunting with.”  Dean’s voice is stone cold.  </p><p>“Hold on. Dean. Wait.”  Sam moves to stand in front of the doorway, blocking our exit.  </p><p>Dean sucker punches him in the face.  Holy shit I think he’s lost it.  </p><p>Sam looks at him stunned.  “You satisfied?”  He asks.  Dean punches him again.  “Apparently not.”  I mutter. </p><p>Dean throws my bag on the floor but doesn’t let go of my arm.  “Do you even know how far off the reservation you’ve gone?  How far from normal?  From human?” </p><p>“I’m just exorcising demons.”  He answers forlornly.  His puppy dog eyes begged us to understand.  That look, god that stupid sad face of his, I’m such a sucker.  I recognize that look from all of the times something strange and dark and twisted happened to me.  Something I couldn’t explain to others without sending them shrieking in fear.  Shit, we can’t leave him.  </p><p>Dean apparently has other plans.  “You are exorcising them WITH YOUR MIND!  What else can you do huh?”  </p><p>Sam holds up his hands in a placating gesture.  “I send them back to hell okay.  That’s it.  It only works with demons.” </p><p>“What else can you do?”  Dean snarls.</p><p>“I told you!”</p><p>“Why do I not believe you.”  He responds coldly.  Dean makes like he is going to head out the door again.  </p><p>I dig my heels into the carpet.  Trying to stop him from dragging me along.  “Dean, we can’t leave him here.  He needs help.”  </p><p>Dean narrows his eyes at me.  “You think I’m going to let you be around him Evie?  Huh?  You think it’s safe?” </p><p>“Dean, please, I’m begging you to try and see the other side here.”  Sam pleads.  </p><p>His furious gaze whips over to Sam.  “The other side?  What other side?”</p><p>His eyes are begging us.  “I’m pulling demons out of innocent people.  The way I do it most of the victims get to live.”</p><p>“Is that what Ruby wants you to think huh?  Kind of like how she tricked you into using your powers?”  Dean accuses him.  Sam shakes his head sadly.  “It’s a slippery slope brother.  Just wait and see.  Because it’s going to get darker and darker and god knows where it ends.”  </p><p>Sam looks at us with resolution etched on his face.  “I’m not going to let it go too far.” </p><p>“Oh Sammy.”  My voice cracks.  I can feel tears building at the edge of my eyes.  </p><p>Dean glares at him.  “It’s already gone too far.  If I didn’t know you...I would wanna hunt you.”  </p><p>Sam looks at us tearfully, but it seems maybe we are finally breaking through to him because he gives a small nod before glancing down.  </p><p>“Please Dean, you were gone and I - I had to keep fighting.  What I do, it works.” </p><p>“Hmm, well tell me then, if it’s so great why did you lie to us about it?  Why did an angel tell me to stop you?”  I gape up at Dean when he says angel.  Did Castiel really tell him that?</p><p>Sam looks equally as shocked.  “What?” </p><p>“Cas said that if I don’t stop you, he will.  Do you see what that means Sam?  That means that God doesn’t want you doing this.  So are you really going to keep standing there saying everything is alright?”  Dean's voice sounds like it’s about ready to break. </p><p>Sam looks crestfallen, sickened even.  Out of the three of us he was always the one who believed.  Who had some faith in a higher power.  Deans hold on my arm slackens just enough for me to shake him off and go to Sam.  I wrap my arms around his waist and pat at his back soothingly.  I can feel his large frame tremble just a bit.  “It’s okay Sam.  We can figure this out.”  I whisper.  </p><p>After hunting down a rourgarou Sam promises he’s done using his powers.  Dean and I are both relieved but I can’t help noticing Dean never leaves me alone with Sam anymore.  If Sam notices it he doesn’t comment.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few weeks later we pulled up in a small town to investigate a man who died from eating halloween candy with razor blades in it.  Sam and Dean return from interviewing the victim’s wife.  They found a hex bag at their house, but from what I could suss out from his work records, email, and social media accounts the victim was squeaky clean.  No obvious motive for why a witch would want to kill him.  </p><p>Later that night they head off to talk with witnesses who saw a girl get her face fried in boiling water...from apple bobbing.  I didn’t get the vision in time to save her.  I only saw her death moments before it happened.  They come back to the motel and show me the hex bag they found.  I look into the poor girl who died but again, no reason for a witch to target her.  No motive.  </p><p>We are all lost in thought until Sam seems to have some kind of epiphany.  “What if it’s not about revenge?  Maybe this witch isn’t working a grudge, maybe they’re working a spell.”  He starts digging through our pile of books until he finds the one he’s looking for and opens it.  “Check this out.  Three blood sacrifices over three days.  The last before midnight on the final day of the final harvest.  Celtic calendar, the final day is October 31st.”  </p><p>Sam tosses the book at Dean who flips through it not really reading.  I look over at Sam.  “What exactly are the blood sacrifices for then?”    </p><p>“Uh, if I’m right, this witch is summoning a demon.  Not just any demon - Samhain.”  He explains. </p><p>Dean scoffs.  “I am supposed to be impressed?” </p><p>Sam gives him an annoyed look.  “Dean, Samhain is the damn origin of halloween.  It was Samhain’s night.  I mean masks were put on to hide from him, sweets left on the doorstep to appease him, faces carved into pumpkins to worship him.  He was exorcised centuries ago.” </p><p>“Okay so some witch wants to raise Samhain and take back the night?”  I question skeptically.  </p><p>Sam rolls his eyes.  “Guys this is serious.  We’re talking about heavy weight witchcraft.  This ritual can only be performed once every 600 years.” </p><p>Dean looks contemplative.  “And the 600 year marker rolls around…”</p><p>“Tomorrow night.”  Sam answers. </p><p>“Huhhh, naturally.”  I chime in.  </p><p>Dean flips through the pages of the book.  “Sure seems like a lot of death and destruction for one demon.” </p><p>“That’s because Samhain likes to do a little raising of his own.  Ghosts, ghouls, zombies, you know name it.”  </p><p>“Leprechauns?”  Dean jokes.</p><p>Sam and I both give him our best unamused glares.  “What?  Those guys are creepy!  Little hands…”  Dean trails off.</p><p>After staking out the original victims house we find out the cheerleader who witnessed the girl get fried last night is the babysitter of the first victim.  Sam and Dean go into her school to interview the teachers and I do some digging on my laptop.  The cheerleader has a long rap sheet according to her school records.  Plenty of violent outbursts that’s for sure.  Eventually we drive back to the motel.  I come to a full stop when I see Castiel standing in our rather mundane room with another man.  </p><p>Sam immediately goes on the attack and tries to lunge at them.  Dean has to stop him from shooting them.  “Wait, wait, Sam!  This is Castiel.”  Sam looks at him stunned.  I keep forgetting he hasn’t met any angels yet.  Dean stares quizzically at the mystery man with Castiel.  “Him I don’t know.”</p><p>“Hello Sam.”  Castiel’s neutral face stares at him.  </p><p>Sam looks at him in awe.  “O-oh my god - er - uh - I didn’t mean to - sorry.  It’s an honor really.  I heard a lot about you.”  Sam puts out his hand to shake.  Castiel stares at it, head tilting a little to the side.  Sam makes a shaking motion with his hand and Castiel seems to take the hint as he grabs a hold of it.  </p><p>“And I you - Sam Winchester.  The boy with the demon blood.  Glad to see you have ceased your extracurricular activities.”  Castiel says seriously. </p><p>The mystery man finally speaks up.  “Let’s keep it that way.”  </p><p>“Who’s chuckle’s over there?”  I ask.  </p><p>Castiel glances at me and looks like he’s about to answer then thinks twice about it.  He awkwardly turns back to Dean.  “The raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?”</p><p>“No, but we’ve located the witch.”  </p><p>“Is she dead?”  He asks Dean.</p><p>“No but we know who it is.”  </p><p>Castiel appears frustrated.  “Apparently she knows who you are too.  We found these in the walls.”  He pauses and chucks a hex bag at Dean.  “If we hadn’t found it, surely one if not all three of you would be dead.  Do you know where the witch is now?”</p><p>Sam, Dean, and I exchange uneasy glances.  “No...but we’re working on it.”  I chime in.  </p><p>He sighs and looks like he’s almost frowning.  “That is unfortunate to hear Evalynn.”  </p><p>“What do you care?”  Dean grills him.</p><p>“The raising of Samhain is one of the 66 seals.”  </p><p>“So this is about your buddy Lucifer then.”  I comment.</p><p>Castiel stares at me momentarily perplexed.  “He is no friend of mine.”</p><p>I stare back at him like he’s from another planet, which I suppose in a way he is.  “It’s just an expression  Cas.”</p><p>The mystery man decides to break his silence again.  “Lucifer cannot rise.  The breaking of this seal must be prevented at all costs.”  </p><p>I can tell Dean is extremely uncomfortable but he puts on a carefree attitude.  “Great, well now that you’re here why don’t you tell us where the witch is and we’ll go gank her.” </p><p>“We are not omniscient.  The witch is very powerful.  She is cloaked to even our methods.”  Castiel explains, the lightest tinge of irritation in his tone.</p><p>Sam starts up.  “Look, if we work together I’m sure we can --”  The mystery man looking out the window cuts him off.  “Enough of this.”  </p><p>Dean’s becoming increasingly annoyed, I am too.  “Okay who are you and why should we care?” </p><p>The man turns from the window and fixes Dean with a cold stare.  “This is Uriel, he’s what you might call...a specialist.”  Castiel makes the most awkward introduction I have ever heard.  </p><p>Dean looks at Uriel skeptically.  “What kind of specialist?  What do you do?” </p><p>“All three of you need to leave this town immediately.”  Castiel orders. </p><p>“What why?”  Sam asks. </p><p>Castiel appears reluctant but finally spits it out.  “Because we are about to destroy it.” </p><p>“So this is your grand plan?  You’re just going to smite the entire freaking town!”  Dean says in a horrified tone.  </p><p>“We are out of time.  The witch has to die.  The seal must be saved.”  Castiel offers as explanation.  Although that certainly falls way, way short of an adequate excuse.  </p><p>“There are a thousand people here.”  Sam says appalled. </p><p>“One thousand two hundred and fourteen.”  Uriel proclaims, seemingly more interested in a piece of lint on his suit.  </p><p>“And you’re willing to kill them all?”  I hiss at him vehemently.  </p><p>Uriel gives me an odd creepy smile.  “This isn’t the first time I’ve...purified a city, banshee.”  He says the last word with a hint of disdain.  Dean automatically pulls me by the arm so I’m further behind him.  </p><p>Castiel holds up his hands in an attempt to be appeasing.  “Look I understand this is regrettable.”  </p><p>“Regrettable?”  I glare at him with barely concealed contempt.  </p><p>His gaze sears into mine.  “We have to hold the line.  Too many seals have been broken already.”  I get a tingling feeling in the back of my skull, not a vision really, more of a sense that this town isn’t going to be smited.  I have the strongest bone deep conviction in that moment he won’t go through with it.  I can’t explain it.  I don’t know why I would think it.  </p><p>Dean is furious.  “So you screw the pooch on some seals and this town has to pay the price?” </p><p>“It’s the lives of a thousand versus the lives of billions.  There is a bigger picture here.”  Castiel tries to reason.  </p><p>“We can do it.  We can stop this witch before she breaks the seal.”  Sam says desperately. </p><p>“We’re wasting our time with these mud monkeys and their little shrieking whore.”  Uriel proclaims with the utmost contempt and disgust.  I assume the shrieking whore he is referring to is me.  Castiel gives him a pointed look.  “Mind your words around my charge Uriel.”    </p><p>“No, no you can’t do this.  Your angels.  You’re supposed to - supposed to show mercy.”  Sam exclaims in pure disbelief.  </p><p>Uriel stares him down.  “Says who?”   </p><p>“We have no choice.”  Castiel’s voice is despondent but still resolute. </p><p>It’s Dean’s turn to stare at him in disbelief.  “Of course you have a choice.  I mean, come on, what you’ve never questioned a crap order?  What are you a couple of hammers?” </p><p>Castiel has an air of resignation around him.  “Look, even if you can’t understand it, have faith.  The plan is just.” </p><p>“How can you even say that?”  Sam asks, horrified. </p><p>“Because it comes from heaven.  That makes it just.”  </p><p>I shake my head at him.  “Oh it must be nice, to be so sure of yourselves.  To be so sure you are doing the right thing.”  I can feel my body trembling with barely contained rage.  Castiel can’t bring himself to meet my gaze.  </p><p>“Well sorry boys it looks like the plans have changed.”  Dean states matter of factly. </p><p>Uriel chuckles.  “Oh?  And you think you can stop us?” </p><p>Dean stalks up to Uriel.  “No, but if you’re going to smite this whole town then you’re going to have to smite us with it because we are not leaving.  See, you went to the trouble of busting me out of hell.  I figure I’m worth something to the man upstairs.  So you wanna waste me, go ahead, see how he digs that.”  </p><p>“I will drag you out of here myself.”  Uriel glares at him malevolent.</p><p>“Yeah but then you’ll have to kill me and we’ll be back at the same problem.  I mean, come on, you’re going to wipe out an entire town for one little witch?  Seems like you’re compensating for something.”  Dean bites back.  Then he turns to Castiel.  “Come on, we can do this.  We can find the witch and stop the summoning.” </p><p>Uriel scoffs.  “Castiel!  I will not let these people -”  Castiel holds up his hand and Uriel stops talking.  “Enough!”  He orders.  Castiel looks at us with apprehension.  “I suggest you hurry.” </p><p>The angels disappear.  I glance at Dean and we both let out large sighs of relief.  “Christ that was close.”  I mutter.  </p><p>We hop in the car and finally I notice that Sam just looks, well he looks positively devastated.  He’s fiddling with the hex bag absentmindedly.  “I thought they would be different.” </p><p>Dean and I share an uncomfortable look.  We had tried to explain to him that Castiel wasn’t, well wasn’t really a stereotypical angel.  “We tried to warn ya…” Dean mutters. </p><p>“I know, I just...I just thought they would be righteous you know?” </p><p>Dean shifts awkwardly in his seat.  “Well they are righteous.  That’s kinda the problem.  There’s nothing more dangerous than some asshole who thinks he’s on a holy mission.”  </p><p>“But I mean, this is god?  This is heaven?  This is what I’ve been praying to?”  Sam says in disbelief.</p><p>“Look man, I know you are into the whole god thing.  You know jesus on a tortilla and stuff like that...just because there’s a few bad apples in the bunch doesn’t mean the entire barrel is rotten.  I mean for all we know god hates these jerks.  Don’t give up on this stuff is all I’m saying.  Babe Ruth was a dick but baseball is still a beautiful game.”  I glance up at Dean after his speech slightly stunned.  “Wow, who knew you were so insightful.”  I comment.  Dean rolls his eyes at me and tells me to shut up.  </p><p>Sam doesn’t say anything, just quietly fumbles with the hex bag, disappointment still evident on his face.  Then he looks at the burnt bone in his hand a little more quizzically.  “Do you guys know how much heat it would take to char a bone like this?”  </p><p>Of course it was the art teacher with a massive kiln who has a bunch of burnt baby bones in his office desk.  We rush over to the teachers house, hoping we aren’t too late.  I shoot the teacher with three square rounds to the chest as he is in the middle of a chant.  The blond cheerleader tied up in his basement.    </p><p>Dean and Sam help get the cheerleader down.  “Thank you!  He was going to kill me!  Ugh, what a sick son of a bitch.  I mean did you see what he was doing?  How sloppy his incantation was?”  We all look at each other in shock.  </p><p>“My brother - always was a little dim.”  The blonde cheerleader says with disappointment.  Before we can raise our guns the three of us crumple over onto the floor, stomachs searing with pain.  “He was going to make me the final sacrifice.  I suppose that honor goes to him now.” </p><p>The witch finishes the incantation.  It’s too late though, the spell is complete.  Suddenly the art teacher opens his eyes, they are a sickly pale color.  Sam puts his finger to his lips to tell us to stay quiet then smears his hand with the blood pooled on the floor and rubs it over his face then mine and Dean’s.  The witch professes her love for Samhain right before he twists her neck and calls her a whore.  Sam whispers at us to lie still and play dead.  I can feel the demons gaze on me as he walks by but he doesn’t do anything.  One we know he is gone Dean whispers “what the hell was that for?”  </p><p>“Halloween lore.  People used to wear masks to hide from him.  Gave it a shot.”  </p><p>I stare at him in a baffled manner.  “You gave it a shot?!”</p><p>We hastily chase after the demon and track him down to a cemetery.  Dean and I have to save a group of kids from crypts while Sam goes all cowboy after Samhain.  We somehow manage to get out and chase down the hall after Sam but then we see it.  What he’s doing; trying to exorcise Samhain with his mind.  He glances back at us for a moment.  I can see the dilemma written all over his face.  But then he turns around and keeps going.  I watch him, not quite sure if I’m terrified for him or of him.  </p><p>I can barely manage to say two words to Sam.  Dean doesn’t say anything to him.  Dean wakes me up early the next morning and we walk in silence to a nearby park.  I think he just needs to get out of the room for a bit, gather his thoughts.  I don’t know what to tell him, all I know is that we can’t give up on Sam.  Not now, not when he needs us most.  </p><p>Suddenly Castiel appears on the bench next to us.  “Let me guess, you’re here to say I told you so?”  Dean quips dryly.  </p><p>“No.  I’m not here to judge you Dean.” </p><p>“Then why are you here?”  I ask Cas angrily. </p><p>“Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain.  They were to do whatever Dean told us to do.”  Castiel informs us.  We both look over at him in surprise.  </p><p>“Wait, your orders were to follow his orders?”  I say perplexed.  Dean looks a little speechless.</p><p>Castiel nods solemnly.  “It was a test to see how he would perform under...battlefield conditions.”  </p><p>“So I uh, failed your test then?  I get it, but you know what?  If you would have waved that magic time traveling wand of yours I’d make the same call.  You see I don’t know what’s going to happen when these seals are broken.  Hell I don’t even know what is going to happen tomorrow.  But what I do know is that this here?  These kids, the swings, the trees, all of it is still here because of my family.  Because we made the right choice.”  Dean rants at him. </p><p>Castiel glances down at us.  He seems oddly amused.  “You misunderstand me Dean.  I’m not like you think.  I was praying that you would choose to save the town.”  </p><p>I stare at him incredulously.  “Really?  Sure didn’t seem that way yesterday.”  </p><p>Castiel almost looks like he might smile.  “These people, they are all my father's creations.  They are works of art and yet, even though you stopped Samhain another seal was broken.  We are one step closer to hell on earth.  Now that’s not an expression it is literal.”  He pauses for a moment and gives Dean a pained look.  “You of all people should appreciate what that means.” </p><p>Dean's gaze hardens when he mentions hell.  Castiel lets out a sigh.  “I”m not a hammer as you say.  I have questions, I have doubts.  I don’t know what is right and what is wrong.  Whether you passed or failed here...but in the coming months you will have more decisions to make.  I don’t envy the weight that is on your shoulders Dean.  I truly don’t.”  </p><p>Before we can think of anything to say to his strangely revealing statement the angel is gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I churn over Castiel’s words in my mind over the next couple weeks.  I didn’t expect the stoic angel to be so vulnerable with us.  It created another facet to this strange other worldly being.  I feel like every time we meet he throws another curveball at me.  When we first met he was like a heroic knight from a fairy tale.  The next time he truly seemed like an angel, a vengeful warrior of god; it was equal parts awe inspiring and frightening at the same time.  I was so relieved to see him when he saved me from Nancy, but that relief quickly turned to anger when he handcuffed me in the bunker.  And then, oh, and then he threatened to send Dean back to hell in that weird shared dream and I wanted to pummel him.  I was furious he would even say that to us.  He certainly didn’t seem like my guardian angel in that moment.  But when he threatened to condemn an entire town I was downright terrified of him.  I couldn’t fathom how anyone could justify mass murder on that level.  How he could ever view that action as necessary or just.  It was so objectively against this odd base instinct I had of him, this instinct trying to override the logical side of my brain.  It kept saying he would never do it.  The strange instinct was screaming at me to trust him despite all the evidence to the contrary.  </p><p>My thoughts return to Castiel as I watch Sam and Dean hustle a couple of guys at pool.  The angel is an enigma wrapped in an enigma.  Right before Sam is about to close the deal he glances up at the door stunned.  I follow his gaze from my perch at the bar top and see Ruby.  My mood instantly sours.  Draining the rest of my beer I follow after Dean who looks just as ready to slaughter her as he did the last time we met.  “You’ve gotta lot of nerve showing up anywhere near me.”  </p><p>Ruby glares at Dean.  “I just have some info and then I’m gone.  I’ve heard whispers.” </p><p>“Ooh demon whispers, how reliable.”  I say with a deadpan expression.</p><p>She gives me a tight lipped smile.  “Listen, girl named Anna Milton escaped from a psych ward yesterday.  The demons seem pretty keen on finding her.  Some really heavy hitters turned out for the easter egg hunt.” </p><p>“Why?  Who is she?”  Sam asks a little too trustingly for my taste. </p><p>“No idea, but I’m thinking she’s important because orders are to capture her alive.  I just figured whatever the deal is you might want to find her before they do.”  </p><p>Dean levels a heavy glare at her.  “We are not goose chasing after some girl who for all we know doesn’t even exist just because you say she is important.” </p><p>Ruby looks exasperated.  “Look, do whatever you want.  As far as I’m concerned I told you, I’m done.”  She storms off.  </p><p>“Wait!  Does the hospital she escaped from have a name?”  Sam calls after her.  </p><p>We end going to the hospital and it appears this Anna girl is real...and has been seeing visions of some very specific omens.  Maybe this girl is another banshee?  It would be odd for visions to present this late, they’re supposed to start at 13, but god these days anything is possible.  When we get to her parents house we find them dead on the floor.  Demon’s work.  We finally find Anna at her father's church.  </p><p>She seems dumbstruck to meet us and blatantly stares at Dean.  “It’s really you.  Oh my god.  The angels talk about you.  You were in hell but Castiel pulled you out.  Some of them think you can help save us.”  She pauses for a moment and glances over at Sam.  “And some of them don’t like you at all.”  Anna finally looks at me.  “The angels always want to know where you are.  One of them wanted to watch your dreams to see the visions you have, but Castiel told them no.  He seemed...angry.”  </p><p>Dean stares at her perplexed.  “So you talk to angels?” </p><p>Anna looks flustered.  “No, oh no way.  Uhm, they probably don’t even know I exist.  I just kind of...overhear them?” </p><p>“So then, you don’t have visions?  Visions like mine I mean?”  I question her suspiciously.  </p><p>She shakes her head frowning a little.  “No, nothing like that.  I just listen to the angels.”  </p><p>Just as Anna is asking about her parents Ruby busts through the church door.  She warns us a big time demon is coming.  Sam shoves Anna in a closet and closes the door.  I’m arguing with him about getting in the other closet when Sam very unceremoniously shoves me inside and bolts the door.  I pound against it screaming at him to let me out.  What the hell are they thinking?  Suddenly Castiel appears out of thin air, the two of us cramped in the small closet with nothing but a tiny light overhead.  He glares at me in mild irritation.  “Couldn’t you have chosen a less dangerous profession?”  He takes a hold of my elbow and then we are standing back in the motel room.  </p><p>I whip my head around in shock.  “Wha - what the hell Cas?  Take me back, you need to take me back right now!”  </p><p>He frowns slightly.  “You were in harm's way.  I had to remove you from the situation.”  </p><p>I glare at him.  It feels like anger is seeping out of my pores.  “Cas, I am a hunter, dangerous situations come with the territory!”  </p><p>“You were scared.  I felt it...I had to come and make sure you were safe and you weren’t.”  He says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.  </p><p>My mouth falls open.  “What the hell do you mean you felt I was scared?  Are you...are you in my head?”  </p><p>His eyes go a tiny bit wider at my accusation.  “Of course not.  I would never invade your mind.  I only feel what you feel because I am your guardian.  We are bound.”  </p><p>I put my face in my hands and shake my head.  This is a whole ‘nother level of crazy, even for my family.  “Cas you cannot just spirit me away every time I’m frightened.  I literally won’t be able to do my job.  I need to get back to Sam and Dean.”  I march to the door to leave and try to figure out a way to find them, but the door handle is stuck.  I yank at it harder trying to twist the thing with both hands but it won’t even budge.  I glance back at Castiel and if I didn’t know better I would say he looked guilty.  “Are you locking me in right now?”  My eyes narrow in fury.  </p><p>“I cannot allow you to leave.”  He says in that deep gruff voice. </p><p>I whirl around on him.  “Allow me?  Allow me!  I’m a fucking adult I don’t need your permission to do anything.”  </p><p>I turn back and keep trying to pull at the damn handle.  I can feel my breath coming out in short pained spurts.  “Come on, come on you son of a bitch!”  I growl at the door.  </p><p>“You are wasting your energy.”  </p><p>“Nobody asked you!”  I yell back at him.  He throws his hands in the air in an exasperated manner before sitting awkwardly on one of the beds.  I let myself slide down the back of the door, breaths coming out in ragged pants.  </p><p>Castiel turns to me and he looks torn.  Maybe I can convince him to let me out?  “Cas, please, they might be hurt.  I need to find them.”  I plead with him.  His typical stoney expression softens just a touch, he seems a little uncomfortable.  “I, I really am sorry I can’t let you leave Evalynn.  I wish I could...do more - more to help.”  His frown deepens as he stares at me.  </p><p>I lightly smack the back of my head against the door and take a few deep shuddering breaths.  “Why the hell do I even have a guardian angel?  Huh?  Who even gave you the orders?”  </p><p>His stare is seriously disconcerting.  “There is a list of charges, every person in the world under heavens protection.  The name of each charge, the guardian assigned to them, and the time we are bound to them is cast in stone.  It is unchangeable.”  </p><p>My ears perk up a bit at the last part.  “The time we are bound?  So then, there’s a time frame for you perching on my shoulder?” </p><p>“Yes.  From September 18th of this year until infinity.”  He tells me calmly. </p><p>“WHAT??!”  I screech.  </p><p>He stares at me confused.  “Do you not understand the concept of infinity?” </p><p>I run a hand down my face.  “Of course I understand the concept of infinity.  But what the hell does that mean?  You’re...you’re what just going to tail around after me until the end of time?”  </p><p>His eyebrows furrow.  “Yes.  I am your guardian.  Why wouldn’t I?”  </p><p>I stare at him in bewilderment.  Then close my eyes and pull at my hair.  “Is this real?  I mean right now, is this real or this a dream?”  </p><p>He slowly walks over, I try to push myself further into the door.  His eyes crinkle in a slight wince.  “Please, there is no need to be frightened of me.  Please understand I am bound to protect you.”</p><p>I take a few more deep stuttering breaths as he ever so slowly inches forwards before squatting down so he’s relatively eye level with me.  “This isn’t a dream, this is real Evalynn.  I promise you.”  He has a strangely imploring tone.  </p><p>I nod my head shakily.  “Okay, okay, this is real.  Right...right.  I just, I can’t tell sometimes.  It’s getting harder to tell.”  </p><p>“When did you start having trouble?”  He asks, tone laced with a surprising concern.</p><p>I shake my head a little faster.  “I don’t know, seven or eight months ago maybe?  It’s been getting harder ever since…”  I trail off.  Why the hell am I telling him this? </p><p>“You can tell me.  Please, you can trust me.”  His stoney mask crumbles a bit more around the edges.  His face is close to mine, only a couple of feet away.  I notice not for the first time that the angel is rather, well, honestly rather handsome.  He has a well defined face, tan skin, impossibly deep blue eyes that are borderline magnetic.  Although I suppose it’s his vessel that’s handsome, but I don’t know...something about his mannerisms and intense gazes seem distinctly celestial.  </p><p>Suddenly we hear loud banging on the door.  It startles me so much I actually let out an embarrassing little yelp.  Castiel moves me and in the blink of an eye and I’m sitting on the couch.  Then he’s gone.  Dean and Sam open the door.  My heart is still pounding.  </p><p>Dean runs over and pulls me into a tight one armed hug.  “Christ Evie don’t scare me like that!”  </p><p>“It’s not like I had much choice in the matter.”  I say ruefully.  </p><p>He’s royally pissed off.  “Ya well your guardian angel and I need to have a little talk.”  </p><p>I roll my eyes at him.  “Sure Dean, let me just call him up - oh, wait.”  </p><p>I stitch up Sam’s arm and pop back Dean’s dislocated shoulder.  After much probing by Dean, Sam finally caves and tells us why he trusts Ruby so inexplicably.  About how she saved his life when he was having a low night and, like the idiot he is, tried to go after Lilith on his own.  Ruby finds a way to get a message through to us riding one of the motel maids.  We find her and Anna at a run down cabin.  </p><p>I feel a strange tingling in my spine but it doesn’t feel like a premonition.  It’s something else...something, someone maybe?  Is coming closer.  </p><p>“They’re coming.”  Anna says, eyes spaced out.  Sam takes her into the backroom then comes back out to rejoin us.</p><p>“Where’s the knife?”  Ruby asks expectantly.  </p><p>Dean looks like he got his hand caught in the cookie jar.  “Uh ya, about that…” He trails off.</p><p>“You’re kidding!”  She yells at him. </p><p>The door starts rattling violently.  “Um, guys...I don’t think, I don’t think those are demons.”  I state, oddly certain of who is about to come through the door.</p><p>Both Castiel and Uriel materialize in a flash of light.  I look at Cas and can tell something is wrong.  He seems perturbed. </p><p>“Please tell me you guys are here to help.  We’ve been having demon issues all day.”  Dean says but I think he knows they aren’t here to offer assistance. </p><p>Uriel glares at us all.  “Well, I can see that.  You want to explain why you have that stain in the room?”  He asks pointing at Ruby. </p><p>“We are here for Anna.”  Castiel demands.  </p><p>“Here for her like...here for her?”  Dean asks anxiously.  </p><p>“Stop talking.  Give her to us.”  Uriel seethes at him. </p><p>“Are you gonna help her?”  Sam questions. </p><p>“No, she has to die.”  Castiel says in a resolute tone.  </p><p>Dean and I glare at him in disgust.  “Woah, woah, woah.  Okay I know she’s wiretapping your angel chats or whatever but it’s no reason to gank her!”  Dean yells at him like he’s insane. </p><p>Uriel’s smile is sinister.  “Don’t worry, I’ll kill her gently.” </p><p>“You’re some heartless sons of bitches.”  Dean hisses at them. </p><p>Castiel looks contemplative.  “That is partially accurate.  We do not technically have hearts.  Although our creator is not a female canine.”</p><p>“You can’t do this.  Anna is an innocent girl!”  I cry out. </p><p>Castiel fixes me with a steely glare.  “She is far from innocent.”  </p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?”  Sam asks. </p><p>Uriel sneers at him.  “It means she’s worse than the demonic abomination you’ve been screwing.  Now give us the girl.” </p><p>“Sorry get yourself another one.  Try J date.”  Dean jokes. </p><p>Uriel laughs at him.  “Who is going to stop us?  You three?  This demon whore?”  He lunges and throws Ruby against the wall impossibly fast.  Dean runs to attack him.  Uriel punches him.  “I've waited for this.”  He snarls at Dean.  </p><p>Castiel starts walking towards Sam and I.  “Please, Cas, please you don’t have to do this.”  I beg.  I can practically hear the blood thrumming in my ears.  He’s my guardian, he wouldn’t hurt me right?  He pauses and stares at me with an intensity that almost makes my knees buckle under the weight.  The angel looks like a war is waging behind his electric blue eyes.  “Cas...Cas please.”  I whisper. </p><p>Then suddenly he and Uriel are gone in a blindingly bright flash of light.  My stomach drops and a surge of soul crushing worry claws at my heart.  Is Cas dead?  Did he just die?  </p><p>Dean and I run into the back room and find Anna’s arm covered in blood and some strange sigil drawn on the mirror.  “Are they - are they gone?”  She asks nervously. </p><p>“Did you kill them?”  I accuse her, my voice trembling slightly in terror.  Dread sits in the pit of my stomach.  </p><p>She shakes her head vigorously.  “No, I sent them away.  Far away.”  </p><p>“How?”   </p><p>Anna looks just as confused as us.  “The symbol just popped into my head.  I don’t know how I did it.  I just did.”  </p><p>We bring Anna back to Bobby’s bunker.  It won’t do anything to ward off angels but at least it will keep demons away.  Ruby gives us hex bags to keep the angels off our trail.  I’m able to track down some old psych records of Anna’s.  Apparently this wasn’t her first episode.  She was convinced as a toddler that her father wasn’t her real father.  It’s the closest thing to a lead we’ve got.  A few hours later we are all sitting in the bunker with Pamela, well, all but Ruby of course.  If anyone can dredge up repressed memories it’s Pamela.  Once she’s under a hypnotic trance Anna starts to get scared, terrified, she lifts off the mattress and the room starts to shake as she screams.  Pamela pulls her out of the trance and suddenly Anna’s eyes snap open.  She shares a startling revelation with the class.  She’s an angel.  An angel who apparently fell and lost her grace in the process.  Sam and I are able to track down where we think she may have lost it.  A tree in Kentucky.  The car ride is awkward to say the least.  I twiddle my thumbs absently sitting between Anna and Ruby.  </p><p>Dean starts chuckling.  “What?”  Ruby asks in a peeved tone. </p><p>“Nothing.  Just an angel and a demon are riding in the backseat, it’s like a setup to a bad joke...or a penthouse forum letter.”  </p><p>Sam gives him a disgusted look.  “Dude, reality...porn.  Learn the difference.” </p><p>A weird laugh snort escapes me.  “You call this reality?”  </p><p>We find the tree but Anna’s grace is already gone.  Someone got to it before her.  We take refuge in a nearby barn.  We all bicker back and forth, trying to come up with some kind of alternate plan since apparently we can’t get Anna her mojo back.  </p><p>“Um guys?  The angels are talking.”  Anna says.</p><p>“What are they saying?”  Sam asks.</p><p>Anna twists her face.  “It’s weird...like a recording...a loop saying Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight or - or we hurl him back to damnation.” </p><p>I can feel the blood draining from my face.  “Cas, you don’t think he would actually...I mean he wouldn’t dare would be?  For god's sake you’re my brother!”  </p><p>Anna looks at me quizzically.  “Castiel, is - is he your guardian?”  </p><p>I gnash my teeth together in agitation at the reminder.  “I mean, ya if we want to get all technical.”  </p><p>Something about her contemplative expression bothers me, but I can’t put my finger on why.  Sam and Dean come up with a plan.  A fucking insane plan that’s probably going to get us all killed but a plan none the less.  </p><p>We all stand in the barn, besides Ruby who has gone off to play her part.  Anticipation drumming through my veins.  Anna and Dean banter back and forth.  Suddenly the barn doors slam open in a blaze of white light.  It’s Castiel and Uriel. </p><p>Castiel’s neutral gaze stares down Anna.  “Hello Anna, it’s good to see you.” </p><p>Sam pretends to look surprised.  “How, how did you find us?” </p><p>“I’m sorry.”  Dean glances at Anna, acting remorseful and sad.  </p><p>I am actually genuinely surprised when she walks up to Dean and kisses him.  “You did the best you could.  I forgive you.”  She turns to the other angels.  “Alright, no more tricks.  No more running.  I’m ready.” </p><p>“I am sorry.”  Castiel says in that cold neutral demeanor. </p><p>“No, no you're not.  Not really.  You don’t know the feeling.”  She bites back.  </p><p>Castiel’s eyebrows scrunch together and for a moment he glances at me.  A befuddled expression crosses his face.  “Or maybe you do.”  Anna states cryptically.  </p><p>Then Alastair and his superstar demon squad shows up and all hell breaks loose.  I see Alastair trying to - to exorcise Castiel.  He writhes on the ground in pain, blue light coming out of his mouth and eyes.  An unknown overwhelming surge of gut wrenching worry and terror washes over me as I watch Castiel.  Before I can even register it I’m shooting rounds into Alastair.  He looks up at me in surprise.  At least it gets him to stop chanting enochian.  “Get the hell away from him!”  I growl.  A dark smile spreads across the demon’s face.  “Augh, the littlest Winchester.  The banshee.  What a pleasure it is to finally meet you...in the flesh.”  </p><p>But then we all are forced to stop and watch in a mixture of awe and fascination as Anna gets her mojo back.  Her grace, the grace that Uriel stole smashed open on the ground and flowing back into her.  “Shut your eyes!  Shut your eyes!”  She screams as blinding light shoots out from every part of her body.  I feel the weight of someone on top of me, a hand covering my eyes, a broad hard chest bracketed against my back pinning me to the ground.  I feel an overwhelming sense of protection in that moment.  Then the light is gone and Anna along with it.  Alastair has vanished as well.  I turn my head to look back at who is on top of me...and it’s Castiel.  He quickly pulls himself off and helps me to my feet.  He seems dazed, almost flustered.  </p><p>“Well?  What are you guys waiting for, go get Anna.  Unless you're scared?”  Dean mocks them.  </p><p>“This isn’t over!”  Uriel seethes at him.  </p><p>“Oh, it looks over to me junkless.”  </p><p>With only a faint breeze left in their wake the two angels disappear.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few weeks later Bobby sends us to a small town in Wyoming where apparently nobody has died in the past week and a half.  That tingling sensation nagging in the back of my brain tells me something is decidedly off.  I keep having the strangest instincts, feelings, that something or someone is trying to warn me.  I don’t know if it’s because it’s end times these days or what but I feel like my mind has been going haywire.  The apocalypse world visions are becoming more intense each night, and I keep having random visions of people dying during the day.  Every single time it is someone dying because of a demon.  Every single time I track down the person online and they are already dead.  It’s like...mass quantities of data being dumped into my brain at random intervals but there’s nothing I can do to stop it.  I only get a glimpse, a snapshot of each person a few minutes before they kick it.  It makes it harder and harder to tell what is real and what isn’t.  That’s not how this is supposed to work.  I’ve never seen this many people all in such rapid succession, not until, well, not until a few weeks before Dean came back from the dead.  All of this seemed to start then and it keeps getting worse.</p><p>Bobby thinks the local neighborhood reaper might be gone, kidnapped.  He thinks a demon might be trying to kill it to break another seal.  The thought of a reaper being killed sends a hollow chill through me.  The briefest flash of an old man in a suit lying on a strange star shaped mark on the floor flits through my mind.  I think...I think that may be the missing reaper.  I’ve always had an odd relationship with their kind.  I guess you could say in some ways we are work colleagues.  Banshee’s see who’s number is up next and the reapers go to collect.  It’s a weird symbiotic relationship.  Of course it’s even a little stranger for me because I only ever see deaths due to supernatural causes.  I’ve never had the pleasure of watching someone pass peacefully in their sleep.  I’ve only ever met one other banshee before, technically I think we were third cousins, and even she found that odd.    </p><p>Somehow we convince Pamela to come over and help us cross the veil so we can talk with the last person who actually died in this town.  She puts Sam and Dean under but when she gets to me she pauses.  “I don’t think I can help you sugar.  I think you’re going to have to cross to the other side by yourself.”    </p><p>I stare at her sunglasses in confusion.  “What do you mean by myself?” </p><p>She gives me a knowing smile.  “I know what you are Evalynn.  Trust me, I can walk you through astral projection.  I’m sure you’ve done it before without even realizing it.  But you’re going to have to go over on your own and pull yourself out on your own.”  </p><p>I don't know what the hell she’s getting at but I lie back on the bed skeptically.  “Start by closing your eyes, there you go, take a few deep breaths.  Alright now I want you to focus on Sam and Dean.  You need to find them.  That’s all that matters to you in this moment, finding them…”  </p><p>My eyes shoot open and I bolt up on the bed.  The room looks different, darker, a peculiar shade of blue.  I feel much lighter than normal.  Real or not real?  That always seems to be the question on my mind these days.  I try to ask Pamela a question but she doesn’t say anything to me.  Testing a theory I take off my leg braces and stand up.  I walk a few feet without any trouble at all, no wobbling, no weakness.  It almost feels like I’m floating.  I glance back at the bed and see my body lying there.  It looks like I’m asleep.  Okay, so not real then.  </p><p>As I’m thinking about finding Sam and Dean I am suddenly standing in front of them at the house of the last kid in town who died, Cole Griffith.  It was like I just blinked and then I was there. </p><p>My brothers look stunned.  “How did - how the hell did you do that?”  Dean asks.</p><p>I shrug my shoulders at him.  “No idea...maybe it’s a banshee thing or something?” </p><p>I look around and notice the young boy Cole staring at his still living mother as she sits at the dining room table drinking vodka.  The boy turns and glares at me suspiciously.  “Are you here to take me away?” </p><p>“No, no Cole, I’m not a reaper...but we could use your help.”  </p><p>He relaxes, but only a little.  “Was that who the old man in a black suit was?  He tried to get me to go with him before.”  </p><p>I nod at Cole.  “Yes, I think so, do you know what happened to him?” </p><p>“I don’t know.  He kept saying I had to go with him but then there was all this black smoke.  I hid in the closet and when I came back out he was gone.”  </p><p>I wet my lips feeling more worried than I probably should.  I mean for god's sake I don’t even know this reaper or anything.  “Do you have any idea where he went?”  I ask.  The young boy nods his head at me.</p><p>Then I feel a presence coming closer to the house; a white human shaped beam of light goes racing up the stairs.  I recognize what it is instantly.  Another reaper, not just any reaper either I think I’ve seen her before.  Cole looks scared and vanishes.  I rush over to the stairs, my brothers following behind.  “Wait!  We need to talk to you!”  I yell.  </p><p>A pretty brunette lady, maybe in her mid-twenties, descends towards us.  Dean gives her a strange look.  “Do I know you?”  He asks.</p><p>She holds his gaze.  “We go way back.  Don’t you remember me?”  Realization dawns on me the longer I look at her.  She was the woman, the reaper, that was after Dean all those years ago.  I remember dreaming about them when we were in the hospital.  </p><p>Dean stares back at her bemused.  “Honestly if I had a nickel for every time a girl said that to me.  You’re gonna have to freshen my memory.”  The woman waltzes up to Dean and pulls him down into a kiss.  Sam and I glance at each other awkwardly.  Dean opens his eyes, memories clearly coming back to him.  “Tessa.”  He whispers. </p><p>“That’s one of my name’s yes.”  </p><p>“You’re the reaper from the hospital, the one who was after Dean.”  I say.  </p><p>Tessa locks eyes with me and tilts her head a bit.  “I remember you peeking in on that.  Should have known trouble was lurking when a banshee is watching you work.”  </p><p>I roll my eyes at her accusation.  “I didn’t do anything.  Our dad was the one who made the deal.”  She purses her lips a little.  “Well this was fun but I’ve gotta job to do.” </p><p>Dean reaches out for her as she turns back towards the stairs.  “Wait, wait, wait, wait.  You can’t take the kid.  Demons are in town.  They already took one of your reaper pals and the kid knows where they are.”</p><p>“So?”  Tessa says dismissively. </p><p>I snort.  “So?  So you should shag ass out of town.  For all we know they could take you too.” </p><p>She squints her eyes at me.  “Except that this town is off the rails and someone needs to set it straight.  Not that I would expect a spectator like you to understand that.”  </p><p>I let out a frustrated sigh.  This is why I never liked reapers, they are always so stubborn.  “Believe it or not I do understand, but these are special circumstances.”  </p><p>Tessa walks towards me.  “What?  Are you referring to the whole angel demon dance off?  I could care less.  I just want to do my job.  And frankly?  So should you.  You were put here to help reapers see when each person's time is up.  You are a being created by death himself, just like us.  Do you have any idea how difficult it makes our job when banshee’s like you go off the rails?  When you guys try to intervene with fate to stop your visions from coming true?  There are so few of you compared to the billions of people in this world who all have to die eventually.”  </p><p>I stare her down and let out an indignant huff.  “Well sorry to be such a pain in your side cupcake.  If you think I’m just going to sit on the sidelines and watch the apocalypse come to fruition then you are off your meds.  There is no way in hell I’m going to let that happen.”  </p><p>I watch some of the color drain from her pale face.  She seems shocked by my outburst, then I realize the error I made.  I told her I had seen the apocalypse happen.  Dean sort of knew, well he knew that I had seen something at least, Sam had no idea though.  They both look worried.</p><p>An awkward silence falls over all of us.  Sam is the first one to break it.  “Hmm, listen Tessa we aren’t trying to stop you from doing your job.  We want to help, but we need to figure out what the kid knows.”</p><p>“No.”  She snaps at him. </p><p>“Well then could you at least hold off on taking him?  Just for a little while?  Just until we can fix this.  Please.”  Dean implores her.  </p><p>Tessa seems to be having an internal debate before finally agreeing.  “Alright, but just so we’re clear when I start reaping again I begin with the kid.” </p><p>“Thank you.”  I say, letting out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. </p><p>Sam goes upstairs to talk to the kid and convince him to tell us where the black smoke is.  A few minutes later they both come back down.  “I saw the black smoke at my funeral.”  The kid tells us.  </p><p>“You mean at the cemetery?”  I ask.</p><p>“No, at the funeral home.  It was everywhere.”  Cole corrects me.</p><p>Suddenly the lights start flickering and we all look around the room.  This can’t be good.  The front door flies open and a stream of black smoke pours into the house.  Then it vanishes along with Tessa.  Dean glances around the room wildly.  “Tessa!”  He yells.</p><p>“Well, how the hell are we supposed to fight that?”  Sam remarks in disbelief.  </p><p>“Learn some ghost moves?”  I comment.</p><p>Dean stares at me in disbelief.  “By tonight?  Ya sure I’ll meet you at Mr. Miyagi’s.” </p><p>Cole has already picked up quite a few tricks as a ghost, he’s able to teach Sam and Dean at least a couple of the basics.  I am surprisingly able to do much more in this strange astral plane than I ever realized.  It’s almost like...like I can control it to a degree anyways.  All I have to do is think about it and it manifests.  I want to be on the other side of the room, I’m there.  I want all the windows in the house to open, they open.  I want the tree in the front yard to split in half then go back together again, it does.  Sam and Dean are thoroughly, and understandably, freaked.  Although bless them for trying their best to hide it.  </p><p>That night we go to the funeral home and find it covered in glowing blue diagrams. It looks like enochian maybe.  None of the pedestrians passing by seem to notice it though.  Must only be visible in the veil.</p><p>We walk into the funeral home and find Tessa lying on the ground next to an old man in a black suit.  They are lying inside of a square with triangles on each side to form an eight pointed star.  “It’s a reapers trap.”  I comment.  Dean stares at me, I’m sure I’m severely weirding him out right now but we don’t have time to talk about it.  There are a couple of demons guarding the reapers but they don’t seem to be able to see us yet.  Dean and Sam go after the demons, I go to try and wake up the reapers and get them out of here.  But the moment I step inside the star on the floor I feel stuck.  I look up to find Sam and Dean trapped inside a square chain of iron.  I try to run out of the star but I can’t get past the border on the floor.  I try to will the iron chains to drop but they don’t even move.  Shit, shit, shit. </p><p>“I hope you ladies and gents found the place okay?”  A strange drawling voice says behind me, sending a shiver down my spine.  I turn around and see Alastair.  One of the other demons hands Alastair a shotgun then leaves.  Alastair cocks it and shoots Dean, causing him to disintegrate into a puff of charred smoke before reappearing a few moments later.  “Rock salts not so much fun when you’re on the other end of it, is it?” </p><p>“You bastard, go to hell!”  Dean growls at him. </p><p>“Aughh, if only I could.  But they just keep sending me back to this arctic craphole.”  He says in a forlorn drawl.  </p><p>“To kill death?”  Sam questions. </p><p>“No, to kill death twice.  It takes two to break a seal.  I figured another one would show up eventually.  They’re like lemmings.”  Alastair replies with a touch of disgust. </p><p>He walks over to me and the unconscious reapers.  That disturbing sinister smile creeps back onto his face as he watches me.  “And look, I caught an extra special prize in my honey pot tonight.  Here to save your little reaper friends are you?  You know it has been a long time since I have seen one of your kind, there are so few of you in the real world anymore.  I am rather curious what that banshee scream of yours sounds like.”</p><p>I glare at him furiously.  “LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE!”  Dean roars at him.  </p><p>Alastair glances back at Dean and chuckles.  “Oh don’t worry pet, I’m afraid I’ve got more pressing concerns tonight than making your sweet pretty little sister scream.”  He comes into the circle holding up a scythe and reaches for the reaper who looks like an old man.  I try to stop him but Alastair pins me against the invisible barrier of the trap.  </p><p>I let out a ragged breath.  “What, you’re going to kill them with that?  A bit on the nose don’t you think?”  I say trying to distract him, buy some time.</p><p>Alastair looks at me with glee.  “Is it?  I think it will do the job.  Besides I won't be the one to kill them, you will.  Only a creature of death can wield a scythe.  Let’s just say I borrowed it from your dear old daddy, and I’m not talking about John.  You know, your creator doesn’t really ride a pale horse, but he does travel with three amigos.” </p><p>He grabs a hold of my hand and puts the scythe in it.  The thing instantly lights up a soft pale white.  Keeping a firm grip on my hand he forces me to bend down and puts the blade over the old reapers throat.  “They are just jonesing for the apocalypse, but you already knew that didn’t you little girl.”  Alastair starts muttering a chant in latin then yanks my hand holding the scythe across his neck.  A white light similar to the angels flashes out of the cut.  I stare at the dead reaper horror struck.  Alastair drops the body to the floor and steps over it.  He yanks up Tessa by the shoulder and forces me to hold the scythe to her neck, she wakes up and begs him to stop.  In a panic my eyes dart around the room for anything to help.  I notice the chandelier at the edge of the reapers trap.  I glance over at Sam and Dean and flick my eyes back up at it, they seem to get the hint.  We all stare at it, willing for the chandelier to fall.  Just as Alastair is almost finished with the chant the chandelier falls and breaks the trap.  Tessa and I both pop out of it and are transported right next to the iron chains binding Sam and Dean.  I unhook the chain and put a hand on each of their shoulders.  “Bye-bye.”  Dean waves at Alastair smugly as I make us vanish outside the funeral home.</p><p>When we reappear outside Sam is missing.  Dean looks around frantically but somehow I know Sam is back in reality.  “It’s alright, he just woke up.”  </p><p>Dean points a finger harshly at me.  “You and I are going to have a very long conversation when we get out here.” </p><p>We walk a little ways down the alleyway when we hear that sickening voice again.  “You can’t run from me.”  Alastair is standing in front of us.  He advances towards us, Dean grabs my arm and starts backing us up.  Terror evident on his face.  “You can’t run from me.  Dean.  I’m inside that angsty little noggin of yours.”  </p><p>It’s like this strange in-between world is reacting to me before I even think something because all of a sudden Alastair is gone.  Vanished into thin air.  “What the hell?”  Dean whispers.  </p><p>“Guess again.”  A deep voice says behind us.  We whirl around and there’s Castiel.  He stares intently at me.  “Your abilities in the veil are far greater than we imagined.”  </p><p>“What - what just happened exactly?”  I ask completely bewildered. </p><p>“The three of you just saved a seal, that’s what happened.  We captured Alastair when you knocked him out of the veil Evalynn.  Today is a great victory.” </p><p>“Well no thanks to you.”  Dean spits at him. </p><p>“What makes you say that?  I was the one who recruited you in the first place.”  He looks at us with a confused tilt to his head that’s almost cute.  </p><p>“You were here the whole time and didn’t do anything?”  Dean asks in exasperation. </p><p>“I could not provide assistance, the enochian script on the funeral home.  No angel could penetrate it.”  He explains in his typical dry manner.</p><p>I stare at him perplexed.  “Wait, you said you recruited us?”  </p><p>“That was not your friend Bobby who called and told Sam about the seal.”  </p><p>I fix him with a hard glare.  “If you wanted our help why the hell didn’t you just ask?” </p><p>Castiel meets my gaze with an equally hard stare.  “Because, whenever I want you to do something you tend to do the exact opposite.”  </p><p>I don’t want to talk to him anymore.  I want to wake up.  Suddenly Dean and I are back in our motel room only to find the lifeless body of Pamela, blood seeping out of her stomach.  Damn it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next week we walk back into another crappy motel room after attending Pamela’s funeral.  I sit on the couch for a moment and put my head in my hands.  Staring down at the lacy black dress covering my thighs.  I run my hands over my white hair and down my long braid, pulling it to the side.  None of us have been handling Pamela’s death very well.  Dean is tired, Sam is angry, and me...I guess I’m just sick of watching people die and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it.  I keep expecting Dean to grill me about what happened in the veil but I think it’s just all too much right now, for either of us.</p><p>We hear the faintest of breezes.  I don’t even have to look up to know who it’s going to be.  </p><p>“Oh come on!”  Dean groans in frustration. </p><p>“You are needed.”  Uriel proclaims.  Castiel is standing next to him looking solemn. </p><p>“Needed?  We just got back from needed.” I scoff at him. </p><p>“Mind your tone with me.”  Uriel snaps.</p><p>Dean waltzes up to him furious.  “No, you mind your tone with us.</p><p>“We just got back from Pamela’s funeral.”  Sam tries to explain. </p><p>“Ya, you know psychic Pamela?  You remember her right Cas?  You burned out her eyes.  Good times.  Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals.  So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for five freaking minutes!”  Dean yells at them.</p><p>Uriel looks at him with utter contempt.  “We brought you back for our purposes.” </p><p>“Yeah what are those again?  What exactly do you want from me?”  </p><p>“You can start with gratitude.”  Uriel snarls at him. </p><p>Castiel finally breaks his silence.  “Dean, we know this is difficult to understand.” </p><p>Uriel looks at Cas scornfully.  Cas looks away from us and stares at the wall similar to a soldier.  “And we don't care.  Now seven angels have been murdered from our garrison.  The last one was killed last night.”</p><p>“Demons?  How are they doing it?”  Sam questions. </p><p>“We don’t know.”  Uriel responds, staring at him intently.</p><p>Sam looks slightly bewildered.  “I’m sorry, but what do you want us to do about it?  I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league right?” </p><p>“We need your help finding whoever it is.  We can handle the demons.”  Castiel explains. </p><p>“So you need our help hunting a demon?”  I ask perplexed. </p><p>“Not quite.  We have Alastair but he won’t talk.  His will is...very strong.  We have arrived at an impasse.”  Castiel answers me. </p><p>Dean scoffs.  “Yeah, well, he’s like a black belt in torture.  A little out of your guys league.” </p><p>Uriel stares him down.  “That’s why we’ve come to his student.  You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we’ve got.”  </p><p>“Dean you are our best hope.”  Cas states with a slightly pleading tone. </p><p>I stare at him horrified.  “No.  No way.  Cas you cannot ask him to do this!”  </p><p>Uriel stalks towards us.  “Who said anything about asking?”  </p><p>Suddenly Dean, Cas, Uriel, and I are alone in an old warehouse.  Dean pulls me behind him and starts backing away from the angels.</p><p>Uriel moves closer.  “Angels are dying boy.  It’s time for you to do as we command.”  </p><p>“Everybody’s dying these days, and hey I get it.  You’re all powerful.  You can make me do whatever you want.  But you can’t make me do this.”  Dean seethes at him. </p><p>Castiel’s expression is almost pleading.  “I know this is too much to ask Dean, but we have to ask it.” </p><p>When Dean doesn’t say anything Uriel starts up again.  “You know, I think it is time for me and this mud monkey to have a heart to heart.  Why don’t you spend some quality time with your charge Castiel.”  </p><p>Cas and I are suddenly alone in what appears to be another room in the warehouse.  I twirl around looking for a door, a window, something to get the hell out and find Dean.  I can feel the edges of panic creeping in.  Cas looks uncomfortable.  “Please don’t be alarmed.  I assure you Alastair cannot harm your brother.  I made the devils trap myself.”  </p><p>I stare at him in disbelief.  “You think I’m worried about the devil’s trap?  Damn it Cas I’m worried about Dean torturing someone!  He can’t do this, you can’t make him do this.”  </p><p>He looks increasingly distressed.  “I am sorry, but it is a regrettable necessity.  Please, you have to understand.”</p><p>I grab onto the lapels of his trench coat and try to shake him but he doesn’t budge an inch.  “Listen to me you son of a bitch my brother is not torturing anyone.  Let me out of here now!”  </p><p>Cas just keeps staring at me with a pained expression.  “No.”  </p><p>I shove at his chest but all that manages to do is cause me to bounce off him.  It’s like shoving at a brick wall.  “You are impossible!  What the hell is wrong with you?  Seriously Cas, what is wrong with you?  What are you made of stone or something?”  </p><p>He grabs a hold of arms and yanks me towards him.  His electric blue eyes are filled with anger.  “Do not assume to know me Evalynn.  I am not made of stone.”  </p><p>I can feel my chin wobble and tears start to well up at the corner of my eyes.  “Please, what do you want with us?  This is my family you are messing with.  Please…”  </p><p>I can see the storm brewing within him.  He has to feel something right?  Some kind of remorse, uncertainty?  I decide to try one more time.  “Please, Cas, you know this isn’t right.”  God I sound pathetic right now.  I can hear my voice cracking and already feel a tear rolling down my cheek.  When the hell did I become so weak?  </p><p>As we look at each other only a hairbreadth apart I think for a moment, just a moment, he is seriously considering it.  But then the moment is gone.  He releases me from his tight grip slowly.  “I - I can’t.  I’m sorry.  Please, I’m sorry.  I don’t like it when you are upset.  It is...disconcerting.”  </p><p>I stare at him in profound disappointment.  Castiel’s brow furrows and he looks almost, almost sad.  I know he is an angel.  I know Anna told us they don’t really have emotions, not in the same way we do.  But I swear sometimes when I look at him he must feel something deeper.  I can see it swimming just under the surface of his gaze.  </p><p>I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand angrily.  “Why are you acting like this?  What’s going on with you Cas?  Since when did you take orders from Uriel?”  </p><p>Cas stares at the ground with an expression akin to shame.  “My superiors have begun to question my sympathies.  I am...no longer in charge of the garrison.”  </p><p>“Your sympathies?” </p><p>He keeps his gaze on the ground and crosses his arms over his chest, folding in on himself.  “They think I am getting too close to my charge.  They think I’ve begun to express emotions.  The doorways to doubt.  This can impair my judgement.”  </p><p>I move closer to him and gently place my hand on his arm.  “Cas…”  </p><p>His eyes snap up to bore into mine and for the first time ever that stoney mask is completely gone.  There is no guard up anymore.  All I see is pure sadness.  “For what it’s worth.  I would give anything not to have your brother do this.” </p><p>I feel more hot tears roll down my face.  “But Cas, you can do something.  You can stop this.  You could tell Uriel no.  Please, you can stop this.”  </p><p>Castiel looks down at the floor again then shakes his head no.  I let go of his arm like it’s burning me before purposefully walking to the other side of the room and sitting on a crate, refusing to look at my guardian angel anymore.  The silence between us fills the room for what feels like hours.  I can’t stop myself from letting hot angry tears stream down my face thinking about Dean.  How could they ask this of him?  </p><p>I hear the faintest sound of feathers ruffling.  I look up assuming that Cas has left but I’m shocked instead to see Anna.  In the blink of an eye Cas is standing in front of me.  </p><p>“Hello Castiel.  Evalynn, it is nice to see you again.”  She greets us in a disconnected tone. </p><p>“Anna, your human body?”  Cas asks confused.  </p><p>“It was destroyed I know, but I guess I’m sentimental.  Called in some old favours…” </p><p>“You shouldn’t be here.  We still have orders to kill you.”  Castiel threatens.  </p><p>“Somehow I don’t think you’ll try.”  She responds knowingly. </p><p>I stand up slowly.  I know Anna cares for Dean to some degree, maybe she can stop this.  “Anna, can you help Dean?  Please can you stop this?”  I beg her.  </p><p>She stares at me but her face gives nothing away.  “I can’t help him, but Castiel can.  You could stop this.  You could take your charge in there right now and show Dean he doesn’t have to do this, that you won’t actually hurt her.  Why are you even letting this happen?”  </p><p>“He’s doing god's work.”  Castiel responds but he doesn’t sound particularly convinced.  </p><p>Anna narrows her eyes slightly at him.  “Torturing?  That’s god's work?  Stop him Cas please, before you ruin the one real weapon you have.” </p><p>“Who are we to question the will of god.”  Castiel replies tersely. </p><p>A hint of anger clouds her expression.  “Unless this isn’t his will.”  </p><p>I walk to Cas shakily and grab a hold of his arm.  “Please Cas, listen to her, you know this isn’t right...please.”  That torn pained expression crosses his face once again. </p><p>“The father you love. You think he wants this?  You think he’d ask this of you?  You think this is righteous?”  Anna questions him.  When he doesn’t respond she keeps pushing.  “What if god isn’t the one giving orders anymore?  What if it’s one of our superiors?”  </p><p>Castiel can’t seem to meet either of our gazes anymore and opts to look up at the ceiling.  He closes his eyes for a moment.  Maybe he is considering stopping this insanity.  Anna keeps going.  “What you’re feeling right now, it’s called doubt.  You’re afraid Cas, afraid to disobey.  I was too, but together -”  That word seems to stir him to action.  He snaps his gaze to her, cold fury in his eyes.  “Together?  I am nothing like you.  You fell.  Go!  Leave now!”  And just like that Anna vanishes.  </p><p>Castiel’s shoulders are hunched, his body coiled like a tight spring.  I can feel my heart beating faster at what I’m about to do.  I pull at his arm and he slowly turns towards me.  Those blue eyes sear into mine.  I lick my dry lips, anxious about asking an obviously pissed off angel to go against his orders, but a small voice in the back of my head tells me this is my shot.  That Dean is in trouble and we need to get to him now.  “Cas it’s your decision...but you know what the right choice is.”   </p><p>Cas keeps his eyes steady on me.  Searing, questioning, profound uncertainty in them.  I blink and we’re in the room with Dean and Alastair.  Except Alastair isn’t tied up in the devil’s trap, he is holding Dean’s bloody pummeled face up against the hexale.  Faster than humanly possible Cas grabs Ruby’s knife and plunges it into his chest.  The demon drops Dean who doesn’t move when he hits the floor.  A few golden sparks sear under the demon's skin, but it doesn’t kill him.  My mouth drops open in shock, how is he not dead?   He slowly pulls the knife out of him and drops it on the ground before charging at Castiel and slamming him up against the wall.  Instincts taking over I pick up an iron pipe on the torture table in the middle of the room and move as quickly as I can.  I slam the pipe down hard on Alastair’s back.  He slowly twists his head around to stare at me.  Crap.  </p><p>That gross smile spreads across his face.  “Wait your turn little girl.”  He backhands me and I go flying to the other side of the room, skull cracking against the wall and all I see is black.  </p><p>I wake up in the hospital sitting in a bed next to Dean.  He is staring at me and an intense look of relief spreads across his face.  “Damn it Evie you scared me.”  I try to sit up but my head starts swimming, crap that throw really knocked me out.  “Woah, woah, woah, there take it easy kid.  Don’t push yourself too hard.” </p><p>“What happened?”  I croak out feeling groggy.  </p><p>“Alastair, he got out of the trap...are you - I mean - are you okay?  What did Cas do to you?”</p><p>I stare at him confused.  “What do you mean?  Cas didn’t do anything, it was Alastair who tossed me around.”</p><p>Dean’s jaw ticks in anger.  “Uriel said, he said that if I didn’t interrogate Alastair that Cas would hurt you…” </p><p>That strange instinct rears its head in the back of my brain, whispering Cas would never do that.  “I don’t think Cas would ever hurt me Dean.”  He doesn’t look convinced. </p><p>“Well after tonight I don’t trust him.  I don’t trust any of them.”  He grumbles. </p><p>I mull the word trust over in my head.  “I don’t really know if it’s about trust with them Dean.  I think, I think Cas needs help.”  He stares at me like I just grew a second head.  I roll my eyes a bit but keep going.  “I’m not crazy okay, there was something...so uncertain about him tonight.  I don’t think angels normally consider the fact that they even have choices, they’re all about following orders right?  But he made a choice tonight.  He chose to take me in there, he chose to stop you.  He chose not to follow Uriel and go against orders.  I just...I don’t know he looked so torn.  I felt kinda bad for him is all.”    </p><p>I can tell Dean is still fuming.  “Whatever.”</p><p>I sigh but can’t think of anything to say to him.  There’s no use in trying to argue with him when he’s in one of these moods.  The morphine drip makes me feel groggy again and I quickly get pulled back under.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>DEAN</p><p>I open my eyes and Cas is sitting on the edge of the bed.  I bolt up and grab onto his collar, smashing my right fist into his jaw.  It feels like I just slammed my hand into a brick wall.  “Son of a bitch!”  </p><p>Cas looks contemplative.  “Why did you do that?”</p><p>“Because you threatened my sister you dick!” </p><p>His eyes narrow in anger.  “I don’t know what Uriel told you but I could never harm your sister.  I am her guardian.”  </p><p>“Bullshit.  You're not her protector, you're just her tracker.  All you do is keep tabs on her because heaven ordered you to.  Don’t you dare sit there and pretend like you care about her, don’t pretend like you care about any of us.”  I match his angry gaze with an equally pissed off one.  </p><p>Cas leans forward, fury still obvious.  “Do not presume to know my mind Dean.”</p><p>“What are you even doing here?”  </p><p>“I came here to warn you, you need to be more careful.”  He levels in his overly serious tone.  </p><p>“More careful?  You need to learn to manage a damn devil’s trap.  You almost got me and my sister killed.  If Sam hadn’t shown up -”</p><p>Cas looks away.  “That’s not what I mean.  Uriel is dead.” </p><p>I stare at him in shock.  “Was it demons?”</p><p>“No it was disobedience.  He was working against us.”  He says with a tinge of bitterness. </p><p>I think back to what Alastair said in that interrogation room.  About how it was me who started the apocalypse.  Guilt clutches at my core.  I can’t stop myself from asking the question that’s been plaguing me since then.  “Is it true?  Did I break the first seal?” </p><p>Cas fixes me with a heavy gaze.  “Yes.  When we discovered Lilith’s plan for you we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to you before you -” </p><p>“Jump started the apocalypse?”  I finish the sentence for him. </p><p>He nods solemnly.  “And we were too late.” </p><p>“Why didn’t you just leave me there then?”  I ask with utter self-contempt. </p><p>“It’s not blame that falls on you Dean, it’s fate.  The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it.”  Cas informs me. </p><p>“What does that mean?  Lucifer?  The apocalypse?  Hey!  Don’t you go disappearing on me you son of a bitch.  What does that mean!”  I growl at him.</p><p>“I don’t know Dean.  I truly don’t.  They don’t tell me much.  All I know is our fate rests with you.”  Cas answers me before disappearing again.  Then I wake up.  For the first time in a long time I break down.  This is too much, all of this is too much.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>The next morning when I wake up Dean looks like the weight of the world is on his shoulders.  He is not generally the pensive type but he seems particularly lost in thought right now.  I wriggle around in the hospital bed until I’m lying on my side facing him.  “What’s wrong?” </p><p>“Nothing Evie, just had a visitor last night.”  </p><p>My brow furrows.  “I’m guessing it was Cas?”  </p><p>He nods his head but keeps his eyes glued to the ceiling.  “Ya he stopped by.”</p><p>“You two patch things up?”  </p><p>Dean is still glaring at the ceiling.  “Not exactly.”  </p><p>I let out a deep sigh but don’t push it further.  He’ll tell me in his own time.  Dean clears his throat and finally glances over at me.  “Listen uh, since we’ve got the time and we’re both stuck in a hospital bed...you want to tell me what happened when we were in the veil?”  </p><p>I frown and pick at the threads of my hospital throw.  “I don’t know Dean, I’ve never been on that side of the stream before.  At least, not that I’m aware of.  It’s not like my dear old mom left with a how to be a banshee 101 book.”</p><p>I hear him sigh.  “I know Evie...just, best guess?”  </p><p>“Maybe - I don’t know - maybe it’s because of what Alastair said.  You know when we were in the veil?  If I was really created by, well by death, then I suppose it makes sense.  I never really thought of it that way…I mean I’m not exactly employee of the year according to Tessa.”</p><p>Dean shifts a little uncomfortably.  “Listen Evie, your Dad was John Winchester alright?  I don’t care what that psychopath Alastair has to say. You understand me?” </p><p>I nod but I keep my eyes glued to the scratchy white hospital blanket.  “Hey, look at me.”  Dean states gruffly.  I peer over at him.  “You are one of us.  You are a Winchester, period.  End of discussion.”  He says forcefully.  I nod a little more assuredly, but I can’t get what Alastair said out of my head.  I mean...I know I’ve always had a connection with the reapers, with the afterlife, but having some kind of connection with death itself just seems too surreal to be true.  I hate this.  I hate being a banshee, being some - some creature.  I don’t want to think about it.  I don’t want to think about death.  I don’t want to think about the apocalypse.  </p><p>The three of us go back to Bobby’s after we get out of the hospital.  He’s out on a hunt so the house is empty.  I tell Dean and Sam I need more time to recoup all though I’m not really doing it for me; Dean is the one who seems like he could use a day or two off but he would never admit it.  He’s been quiet since the hospital, since Alastair.  I know that something happened but he won’t talk to either of us about it. </p><p>Dean is making us all sandwiches while Sam and I keep re-reading the same passages in revelations, each with just slightly different interpretations.  I feel like my brain is slowly turning to word salad.  I hear the whisper of feathers and glance up expecting to see Castiel but instead an old balding man in a business suit is standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the library.  “Hello Winchesters.  Allow me to introduce myself, I am Zacariah.”  The man greets us while smoothing down his tie.  </p><p>I hear Dean drop a plate in the kitchen.  Sam and I slowly rise from our chairs.  “What do you want?”  Sam asks suspiciously.  </p><p>“Oh I just need to borrow you boys for a quick minute.”  Suddenly both of my brothers disappear.  I whip my head around the room frantically but they’re gone.  </p><p>It’s just Zacariah and I.  He keeps standing there, smiling at me in an attempt to look congenial but it comes off as smug more than anything.  “Well, well, well.  It is such a pleasure to meet you little lady.  Aren’t you a pretty one.”  </p><p>“Can the flattery geezer where the hell are my brothers?”  I snarl at him. </p><p>His face falls slightly and the air surrounding him feels ominous.  Zacariah starts stalking towards me.  “No need for name calling.  Hasn’t anyone ever taught you to respect your elders.” </p><p>I muster the best sneer I can despite my heart racing in panic.  “Sorry but I don’t respect dickwads, no matter how old they are.”  </p><p>A sinister smile crawls across his face.  “Oh I’m sure I can teach you a thing or two.  That banshee mouth of yours will get you into trouble one of these days.  I’m sure we could put it to better use?”</p><p>“Zacariah.  What are you doing here?”  Castiel’s deep voice says.  I can feel him standing right behind me.  His trench coat brushing up against my legs.  </p><p>Zacariah pauses in his tracks, his smile becoming more business like.  “Castiel!  Haven’t seen you in a while buddy, how are you liking earth so far?”  </p><p>“It is...agreeable.  What are you doing on this plane?”  Cas asks him.  </p><p>He smooths his tie down again.  “Well thanks to your due diligence in discovering Uriel’s disobedience, the higher ups sent me down to lead the garrison.  I’ll call you up when you’re needed big guy.”  </p><p>I can feel Cas tense behind me.  Zacariah looks at me and gives a tiny shrug.  “Like I said, I just need to borrow your boys for a minute.  Don’t worry little lady, I’ll have them back here in a jiffy.  Heaven just needs to prove a point to them.”  Then the angel is gone.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CASTIEL</p><p>The moment I feel her heart race, fear spiking through it, I have to find her.  I fold space and time to get to her and see her alone in a room with Zacariah.  The way he is looking at her makes me uncomfortable...borderline angry.  He leaves quickly enough, but the situation puts me on edge.  Why has my superior come down from heaven to oversee the garrison?  What does he need from Sam and Dean?  Why was he talking with Evalynn?  Ever since I started questioning I can’t seem to stop.  My doubts in heaven seem to keep burrowing deeper and deeper.</p><p>Evalynn turns around and she looks relieved to see me, a small smile ghosts across her lips.  It makes me feel...calmer, more content when she isn’t upset with me.  Before I met her I never knew what it meant to be upset, or happy, or sad, or scared, or angry.  Some of my superiors tried to warn me what it would be like having a charge, but I never expected it to be this intense.  It is difficult to detach myself from her emotions, in fact since I first saw her I have found it near impossible.  And every time she feels something, anything, I can’t help but have a reaction.  Ever since I came to earth and got permission to use a vessel it’s like some dormant being has awoken inside me.  I...feel.  For the first time in my thousands of years of existence I feel things.  It is equally disturbing and exhilarating.  The more and more time I spend on this plane, in this vessel, being near her, the less I find myself wanting to return to heaven.  I didn’t think having emotions would be so - so addictive.  I am reluctant to ever give them up.  </p><p>“Thank you for shooing him off Cas.  Your boss seems like a real piece of work.”  Her nose scrunches up when she says the last part.  I find it...endearing I suppose is the right word. </p><p>“Of course I - I do not like you being alone with other angels.”  I admit to her honestly.  </p><p>She raises one of her pale eyebrows at me.  “Why is that?”</p><p>I debate about how much I should tell her.  If she truly needs to know about my suspicions.  “These are dangerous times and I would rather be careful than jeopardize your safety.”  </p><p>Evalynn squints her eyes at me slightly but thankfully doesn’t pry.  “So, are you going to tell me where your boss whisked my brothers away to this time?”  She asks.</p><p>“I am afraid I do not know, but I would not worry for their safety.  They are under heaven's protection.  Zacariah is many things but he would never go against heaven’s orders.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes at me.  “Oh really?  Considering how many times you’ve threatened to send Dean back to the pit I don’t know if I particularly believe you.” </p><p>I feel myself wince at the obvious pang of hurt running through her.  “I apologize if I have seemed...too forceful in the past.  I would never actually throw his soul back into hell.  He is the one destined to stop the apocalypse after all.”  </p><p>She moves her head back and forth as if debating whether or not to believe me.  I notice her chewing on her dark pink bottom lip.  She seems to do that frequently.  It always gives me a strange feeling when she does that, more of a sensation really, it’s oddly pleasant though.  I find it to be one of the more enjoyable feelings I’ve had.  The only other time I’ve noticed the odd sensation is when I pick her up.  </p><p>“Alright then.  If you say so.”  She seems to believe me for now anyways.  </p><p>I end up staying with her in this run down house.  Her brothers are gone and apparently the older man, Bobby, is not present either.  I do not want her to be alone.  I realize I don’t like the thought of her being by herself.  What if something happened and there was nobody here to help her?  She is just so...so terribly vulnerable.  She is small, particularly in comparison to her brothers.  And she looks breakable, fragile, the strangest thought of stained glass enters my mind when I think of her.  I know she is much more powerful than she appears but it is hard to remember that when I am looking at her.</p><p>After a couple of days she insists we must go to the store to retrieve her sustenance.  That is an awkward experience and I did not like the cashier.  He stares at Evalynn too long and the way he looks at her is inappropriate.  I can see the sinful thoughts in his mind.  They are like the thoughts those men had the first time I met her.  They are lucky I did not smite them.  The cashier makes me feel...angry?  No that’s not quite it.  But something very similar to that.  Evalynn seems wholly oblivious to the cashier and his wandering gaze.  A strand of her white blonde hair falls out of her braid and across the milky pale skin of her cheek while she is searching for currency in her purse.  The strangest most intense urge to tuck that piece of hair behind her ear comes over me.  Why would I want to do that?  The urge to touch her hair, her cheek, anything really sits in the back of my head and gnaws at me.  Before I realize I’m doing it my hand is lifting and it tucks the strand of hair back.  She freezes and snaps her dark almost onyx colored eyes up at me.  She appears confused?  Flustered maybe?  I cannot quite decipher the emotion coursing through her right now.  Her heart rate has spiked though, maybe I frightened her?  A small smile pulls at her lips and the skin of her cheeks turns a warm pink color.  I do not think it is fear she feels.  I like when her cheeks turn pink immensely.    </p><p>We leave the store and as soon as we are not being watched by humans I transport us back to Bobby’s house.  I try to help her put the sustenance away but she puts her small hand on my shoulder and tells me to sit down.  I have come to the growing realization these past couple of days together that I enjoy it far too much when she touches me.  I thought at first it must just be a residual feeling or sensation from my vessel, but every time she puts a hand on my arm or shoulder I only seem to enjoy it more.  </p><p>The next morning she goes outside and wanders through the yard full of cars carrying a green duffel bag.  I follow along after her, curious about what she is doing.  She pulls a large gun out of the bag and starts loading it.  Evalynn explains that she has to practice shooting regularly to keep her skills up.  I suppose that is similar to angels needing to practice with our blades.  Her appearance is so unassuming there is something almost contradictory about her standing there firing a gun.  She is wearing a white dress, only a shade lighter than her skin, with her hair pulled back in a braid.  It is an unexpected site I suppose.</p><p>I noticed the first evening we were alone that she reads before falling asleep.  I asked her why she did that and she explained it is a pleasurable activity that helped her mind escape from reality and made her more relaxed.  The idea of reading for sheer pleasure had never crossed my mind before.  Angels only read to gain necessary information.  She does not seem particularly surprised when I tell her this.  Every night since then she reads out loud.  Listening to her read is the most comforting experience I have had since coming to earth.  Her voice is measured and soothing with a bell chime quality to it.  It is so much more than simply enjoyable, I am not sure how to identify the feeling.  The story she reads to me is about a man being lectured to by a telepathic gorilla.  It is an odd premise but the ideas the gorilla has are profound and make me more intrigued by humanity and why it is the way it is.  She tells me the point of the book is to get you to think about exactly that.  </p><p>I am not entirely certain how much food is required to sustain someone but she does not seem to eat very much.  I tell her that her eating habits are concerning but the livid stare she gives me when I mention it seems like I should not bring up the subject again.  She appears to have a routine here at Bobby’s house that she does not have while traveling with her brothers.  It is fascinating.  She gets up, showers, eats, reads through various texts in Bobby’s library and searches for something on a “computer” (some kind of information box that I have yet to figure out), cleans one surface or another, goes outside and practices shooting or apparently also knife throwing, cooks herself dinner, and then reads the telepathic gorilla book.  It is quite enjoyable to fall into step with her daily activities; although I notice her frequently staring at me with a bemused expression.  Evalynn is unfailingly patient with me as I ask her question after question each day.  I can’t help but marvel at how she has assimilated into this human world so well.  I know she is not technically human, not fully at least, yet the way she walks, talks, interacts with everything around her is so human I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if I didn’t know.</p><p>The wonderfully strange bubble Evalynn and I have been living in for the past week suddenly pops when Sam and Dean appear in the library.  I have the dawning realization that this time of having Evalynn to myself is over.  It makes me feel...jealous, that’s the emotion I could not name before.  Huh, what a weird feeling.  </p><p>Evalynn stares at them with a mixture of shock and happiness.  She gets up and pulls them both into a tight embrace.  A hollow pang runs through my chest as I realize I would like for her to embrace me in such a way.  I try to shove the feeling down, it’s a ridiculous notion.</p><p>Dean glares at me skeptically.  I do not think he had an enjoyable experience with Zacariah.  Most people don’t.  “What the hell Cas.  You could have given us a little warning.”  </p><p>“I was not made aware of his plans for you two.  I only came because I sensed Evalynn was in distress.”  I try to reason with him.  He is very difficult to reason with. </p><p>“What?  Why?  What happened?”  Sam asks in a worried voice. </p><p>Evalynn speaks up.  “Don’t get your panties in a twist nothing happened.  I was just alone with Zacariah when you two went poof and the angel is weird is all.  Just freaked me out a bit.  Cas showed up and decided to hang around until either you guys or Bobby got back.” </p><p>Dean closes his eyes slowly before opening them again and glaring at me accusingly.  “Wait, you’re telling me that you have been alone with my sister for the past week?”  </p><p>Sam shoves at his brother's shoulder looking exasperated.  “Dean, come on, he’s an angel get your head out of the gutter.” </p><p>Evalynn stares Dean down.  “He kept me company while you guys were off on some holy mission.  You could try not being rude to him.”</p><p>“Oh ya it was real freakin’ holy getting our chain yanked around by some dickwad with wings all week.  Just a heavenly experience all around.” </p><p>She rolls her eyes at him.  She seems to do that frequently around her brothers.  “Ya well it’s nice to see you to Dean.”  </p><p>I can hear Zacariah calling me.  I have another mission.  I look down at Evalynn frowning, realizing I would rather not leave.  “I have to go.  Zacriah has requested my presence.”   </p><p>She meets my gaze and I can tell she feels sad.  I suppose that is what I am feeling right now too.  Then her eyes light up as if remembering.  “Hold on, I wanted to give you something.”  Evalynn says.  She walks around the desk she normally sits at and pulls out the book she has been reading to me from a drawer.  She holds out the book to me.  I take it gingerly, unsure why she wants me to have it.   “Won’t you need something to read in the evenings?”  I ask confused. </p><p>She shrugs and gives me a warm smile.  “I’ve read Ishmael at least three or four times.  I can find another book to read.  Besides, you haven’t finished it yet and I think you may get more use out of it than I will at this point.”  </p><p>“This is...very kind of you.  I will guard this book as if it is my own possession until I can return it.”  My response makes her eyes crinkle slightly at the corners.  She must have found what I said amusing again.  I do not why, I am being quite serious.  </p><p>“Keep it Cas.  It’s a gift.”  </p><p>My hand reflexively holds onto the book a little tighter.  “A - a gift?” </p><p>She nods slowly.  “Yes Cas, a gift, you know when one person gives something to another without expectation of reciprocation?” </p><p>I turn the idea over in my head.  I know what a gift is.  I have just never received something like that before.  It makes me feel warm inside, almost to an uncomfortable degree but I relish it.  “Thank you Evalynn.  I have never received a gift before.  I promise to care for it well.”  </p><p>She smiles a little wider at me.  “Ya I figured you would.”  I take off to do Zacariah’s bidding.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>It has only been a few days since I saw Cas yet I feel almost forlorn not having him around anymore.  I missed my brothers don’t me wrong but it was...nice to spend time with someone as calm and helpful as Cas.  When he isn’t having to follow orders he is much less of a dick.  He was so curious about everything I did.  It was almost child-like in a way.  Now that he’s gone I sort of miss his endless stream of questions.  They were entertaining to say the least.  It also gives more credit to my hunch that he isn’t as cold as he initially seemed, that he does have some feelings tucked away in there.  I am surprised I miss having him around this much, although maybe it’s only that I miss having him around when it’s just the two of us.  That startling realization sends a weird zinging sensation through my gut.  I try not to think too hard about it.  I’ve got enough problems as it is without having to add on strange angelic friendship issues to the laundry list.  That tiny voice in the back of my head reminds me it wasn’t friendship with Cas that I was dreaming about the other night when we were doing the horizontal mambo.  I cringe internally, god even just thinking about the dream is embarrassing.  I mean he’s an angel.  I don’t think those kinds of physical interactions are really on the table for them.  </p><p>I go into the comic book store first to look around for any sulfur, cold spots, emf spikes, the usual.  The guy at the front desk seems surprised to see me in the store.  I notice I’m the only girl here.  They must not have many female clientele.  Sam and Dean come in a minute after me in their usual get FBI get up to question the worker.  I slowly circle my way around the store, emf reader in my pocket, but it stays dead silent the entire time.  Suddenly Dean comes over and grabs me by the shoulder.  “What the hell Dean you’re blowing our cover?”  I whisper at him. </p><p>“Forget the spirit.  We have bigger problems.  Apparently some guy has been writing books about two brothers and their half sister who travel the country in a black impala fighting monsters.  Oh, and just wait, the best part?  Their names are Sam, Dean, and Evalynn.” </p><p>I stare up at him and I can feel my mouth hanging open in shock.  “What are you talking about?” </p><p>He drags me over to a bookshelf filled with some series titles “Supernatural”.  I pull the first book down and stare at the cover.  On it are two tall buff shirtless fabio looking guys standing in front of a black impala with a blonde chick wearing a miniskirt and a cutoff leaning against the car in the background.  The girl on the cover even has leg braces on.  Although besides the blonde hair it doesn’t really look anything like me, god knows Dean would never let me leave the house wearing something like that.</p><p>I flip the book over to read the description.  It’s about the three siblings chasing after a woman in white on a California highway.  Oh my god, this is about our first hunt when dad went missing and the three of us got back together.  How the hell did this Carver Edlund guy know?  I can feel the blood draining from my face.  This is insane, seriously, nutt house level insane.  “Dean...am I - you know - dreaming right now?”  </p><p>He stops and stares at me seriously for a moment.  “No Evalynn.  Trust me this is real.”  </p><p>We buy all of the books in the series and go back to our motel.  I start devouring them, seeing intricate intimate details of our life in print is seriously disturbing.  “How the hell does this guy know all of this?”  Dean asks knowing we won’t have any answers.  </p><p>I shrug at him.  “You got me.” </p><p>“Everything is in here.  I mean everything.  From the racist truck to - to me having sex.  I’m full frontal in here.”  Dean comments. </p><p>I look up at Sam on his laptop.  “Hey, how come we’ve never heard of these before?” </p><p>“They’re pretty obscure from what I can find online.  I mean almost zero circulation.  Uh, started in ‘05.  The publisher put out a couple dozen books before going bankrupt.  And, uh, the last one ‘no rest for the wicked’ ends with Dean going to hell.”  Sam turns the laptop screen towards us so we can see. </p><p>“I reiterate.  Freakin’ insane.”  Dean stands up and grumbles.  The three of us huddle around the small dining table with the laptop on it.  “Check it out.  There’s actually fans.  There’s not many of them but still.  Did you read this?”  Dean asks Sam. </p><p>“Yeah.  Well, keep on reading, it gets better.”</p><p>Dean and I glance at each other skeptically but scroll down on the fan site.  “There are Sam girls and Dean girls and Evalynn guys - what’s a slash fan?”  I ask Sam confusedly. </p><p>He clears his throat.  “As in, Sam slash Evie or Dean slash Sam or Dean slash Evie.”  He stares at us with open disgust on his face.</p><p>Dean looks horrified.  “You mean like...together, together?” </p><p>I make a retching sound.  “That is sick.  I feel like I need to puke.”  </p><p>Sam nods his head in agreement with me.  “They do know we’re all related right?”  Dean asks in a disturbed voice.  “Doesn't seem to matter.”  Sam comments. </p><p>I click on one of the links titled ‘Breaking Evalynn’s red barrier’ and let out an embarrassing gasp.  “Oh my god, oh my fucking god.”  </p><p>“What?!”  Sam asks in alarm.</p><p>“He wrote that I'm a virgin!  He actually put that I’m a virgin somewhere in these books.  There is an entire page on this website dedicated to my nonexistent dating life.  Oh my god it’s online!  Oh my god this is a nightmare.”</p><p>Sam starts laughing, like a deep belly aching laugh.  “Sorry, sorry Evie, I promise I’m not laughing at you it’s just...we’re sitting here reading about all of the terrible awful details of our lives and the thing that bothers you is that he wrote you’re a virgin?”  </p><p>I narrow my eyes at him.  “Oh like you wouldn’t be embarrassed?”  </p><p>“Well ya, but I mean I’m a guy.”  He shrugs at me.  </p><p>I glare at him harder.  “It is so not different, stop being sexist.  It’s humiliating is what it is.  When we find this guy I’m ripping his throat out.”</p><p>Dean looks amused and if I’m being honest a little relieved.  “Relax Evie, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.  Besides most men are terrible and untrustworthy and you don’t need to get hurt like that.”  </p><p>I roll my eyes at him.  “You’re only saying that because I’m a girl.”  He tilts his head to the side and makes a face like he’s agreeing with me.  I let out a large huff but don’t say anything else. </p><p>We are able to track down and convince the overly sensitive publisher to give us the author's real name and address.  It seems like she has a crush on Sam and Dean’s characters which is disturbing to say the least.  When she talks about how open and sensitive they are for male characters I almost start laughing.  These two are some of the most emotionally constipated people I have ever met, not that I’m much better.  </p><p>We pull up to the guy’s house, Chuck apparently is his real name.  The three of us walk to the front door and Dean rings the doorbell.  A few seconds later a scruffy man with wild curly hair and blood shot eyes opens the door wearing a robe with a white tank top and boxer shorts.  Real class act this one.  “You Chuck Shurley?”  Dean asks.  “The Chuck Shurley who wrote the supernatural books?”  Sam clarifies.  </p><p>Chuck eyes us skeptically.  “Maybe.  Why?”  </p><p>I give him the biggest fake smile I can possibly plaster on.  “Hi Chuck.  I’m Evalynn.  This is Dean.  And this is Sam.  The same Evalynn, Dean, and Sam you have been writing about.”  The serene tone to my voice becomes progressively darker. </p><p>Chuck's eyes go wide and he slams the door closed.  Dean rings the doorbell again and Chuck opens up the door a little more hesitant this time.  “Look uh, I appreciate your enthusiasm.  Really I do.  It’s uh, it’s always nice to hear from the fans.  But uh, for your own good I strongly suggest you get a life.”  Chuck tries to shut the door but Dean slams his hand on the door to keep it open.  </p><p>“See, here’s the thing we have a life.  You’ve been using it to write your books.”  Dean tells him ominously before forcing his way into the house.  Me and Sam following along behind him.  </p><p>Chuck looks nervous.  “Now wait a minute.  Now, this isn’t funny.”  </p><p>“Damn straight it’s not funny.”  I growl out him. </p><p>Ever the negotiator Sam chimes in.  “Look we just want to know how you’re doing it.” </p><p>Chuck stares at us like we’ve lost our minds.  “I’m not doing anything.” </p><p>“Are you a hunter?”  I ask suspiciously. </p><p>He glances at me confused.  “What?  No, I'm a writer.” </p><p>Dean advances on him forcing Chuck to keep backing up until he hits his couch and falls onto it.  “Then how do you know so much about demons?  Huh?  And tulpas and changelings?” </p><p>Chuck really looks terrified now.  “Is this some sort of misery thing?  Ah, it is, isn’t it?  It’s a misery thing.”  </p><p>Dean seems to be getting more and more pissed off.  “No!  It’s not a misery thing.  Trust me we are not fans!” </p><p>“Well then what do you want?”  Chucks asks his voice wavering. </p><p>Sam and I both stare at him darkly.  “I’m Sam, that’s Evalynn, and that’s Dean.”  He points to each of us hoping that Chuck might start to take the hint. </p><p>“Those are all fictional characters!  I made them up!  They’re not real!”  </p><p>Dean picks him up and drags him out to the car.  We all stand and watch as Dean opens up the trunk of the impala to show him our hunting gear.  Chuck looks like he’s about to pass out.  “Well I gotta hand it to you guys, you really are my number one fans.  That’s, that’s awesome.  So I think I, uh, I’ve got some posters in the house...I - I’ll just go.”  Chuck turns around and quickly starts to shuffle his way up the front path to his house.  </p><p>“Chuck stop.”  I hiss surging towards him. </p><p>“Please wait.  Please don’t hurt me.” </p><p>Sam comes up and puts a steadying hand on my shoulders to stop me from laying into him.  “How much do you know?  Do you know about the angels?  About Lilith breaking the seals?” </p><p>Chuck starts to look concerned.  “Wait a minute, how do you know that?” </p><p>“The question is how do you.”  Dean snaps at him. </p><p>“Because I wrote it?”  Chuck says like we’re idiots. </p><p>“Oh my god you kept writing?”  I stare at him horrified.  Did he write about Cas?  Does he know what I’ve thought about Cas?</p><p>“Yeah even after the publisher went bankrupt, but those books never came out.  Okay, wait a minute.  This is some kind of joke right?  Did - did Phil put you up to this?” </p><p>Dean gives him his signature cocky yet sarcastic smile.  “Well nice to meet you.  I’m Dean Winchester and this is my brother Sam and my sister Evalynn.” </p><p>Chuck’s face suddenly falls and a stunned expression takes over.  “The last names were never in the books.  I never told anyone about that.  I never even wrote it down.”  We all glare at him as realization that we are telling the truth dawns on him. </p><p>We all go back into his house and he pours himself a large drink of whisky before promptly gulping it down.  He turns around and seems startled by us standing in the living room.  “Oh!  Oh you’re still here.”   </p><p>“Yup.”  Sam grimaces at him. </p><p>“You’re not a hallucination?”  </p><p>I feel my lips pull into a tight smile as my eyes narrow.  “Sorry cupcake, I’m the only one around here who sees things anymore.” </p><p>Chuck seems flummoxed.  “Well there’s only one explanation.  Obviously I’m a god.”</p><p>Sam rolls his eyes.  “You’re not a god.” </p><p>“How else do you explain it?  I write things and they come to life.  Yeah, no, I’m definitely a god.  A cruel, cruel capricious god.  The things a put you through - the physical beatings alone.  I made Evalynn handicapped, who does that?” </p><p>My glare darkens a little further.  “Don’t be so broken up about it.  I made peace with it a long time ago chuckles.” </p><p>He doesn’t seem to hear me because he keeps going.  “I killed your father.  I made Evalynn’s mother abandon her at birth.  I burned Sam and Dean’s mother alive.  And then you had to go through the whole horrific deal again with Jessica.”  </p><p>“Chuck…”  Sam interjects trying to get him to stop. </p><p>“All for what?  For the sake of literary symmetry?  I toyed with your lives, your emotions for...entertainment.”  Chuck is pacing the floor frantically.  </p><p>“You didn’t toy with us Chuck okay?  You didn’t create us.”  Dean says exasperated. </p><p>“Did you really have to live through the bugs?”  He asks us. </p><p>“Yeah.”  Dean answers him.</p><p>“And the ghost ship?”  </p><p>“That too chuckles.”  I chime in. </p><p>“I am so sorry.  I mean horror is one thing, but to be forced to live bad writing...if I had known it was real I would have done another pass.” </p><p>Dean finally breaks.  “Chuck you’re not god!”  </p><p>“We think you’re probably just psychic.”  Sam says in a more appeasing tone. </p><p>“No.  If I were psychic you think I’d be writing?  Writing is hard.” </p><p>“It seems like you are, but somehow you're just focused on our lives...like laser focused.”  I try to explain, my hand gesticulating a bit. </p><p>Chuck suddenly seems to realize something.  “Holy crap!” </p><p>“What?”  Sam asks. </p><p>“The uh, the latest book.  It’s kinda weird...I - I uh wrote myself into it, at my house...confronted by my own characters.” </p><p>Chuck gives us a copy of his latest book and we read about ourselves sitting at a laundromat as we sit at a laundromat.  They bicker over whether or not Chuck is telling the whole truth or if he’s still hiding something while I’m anxiously combing through the pages until I find the ones where Cas and I are alone for the week.  I would literally die of embarrassment if Dean read those.  I quickly stuff them into my pocket.  I take a few of the other pages as well.  They don’t need to read about the night I was almost...almost assaulted by those guys.  </p><p>Chuck calls us panicked.  He has written another chapter.  We drove back to his place.  He stares at shaking slightly.  “This was all so much easier before you were real.” </p><p>I roll my eyes.  “We can take it, just spit it out.” </p><p>He glances over at Dean.  “You especially are not going to like this.” </p><p>Dean purses his lips.  “I didn’t like hell.” </p><p>Chuck lets out a shaky breath.  “Lilith, she’s coming for Sam.” </p><p>“Coming to kill him?”  Dean asks.</p><p>He puts on his glasses and looks nervously at the pages.  “Uh...let’s see, uh Lillith patted the bed seductively.  Unable to deny his desires, Sam succumbed, and they sank into the throws of fiery demonic passion.”  </p><p>Sam laughs.  “You’re kidding right?”</p><p>Dean stares at him.  “You think this is funny?” </p><p>Sam scoffs.  “You don’t?  I mean come on!  Fiery demonic passion?”  He throws his hands up in the air like it’s ridiculous. </p><p>“It’s just a first draft.”  Chuck says defensively. </p><p>“Great.  Perfect chuckles.  So what happens after the whole...fiery demonic passion?”  I say in air quotes. </p><p>“I don’t know it hasn’t come to me yet.” </p><p>Chuck hands the pages over to Dean and we book it out of there.  Sam keeps refusing to believe that what he’s written will come to pass but I don’t know...I mean it might sound far fetched but Chuck hasn’t been wrong yet.  We try to leave town but the bridge is out.  Dean decides today will be opposite day instead and we try to do everything opposite of what the pages say we will do only we can’t seem to stop the story from moving forward as it’s written.  Sam and I are stuck in the motel room while Dean is out parking the car.  After an hour I get worried though.  I have a feeling something might be wrong.  Dean wouldn’t be gone this long just to park his car.  I get antsy stuck inside the motel room with Sam.  He is so wound up these days I keep worrying he’s going to snap at some point.  It seems like it’s only getting worse.  He just about takes my head off when I ask him how he’s holding up.  I can’t take it anymore, I need to get out of here, get away from him just for a little bit.  I go to the cafe across the street and order a large black coffee.  Sipping on it thoughtfully I can feel the pages I tore out about me and Cas earlier burning a whole in my pocket.  Do I want to read them?  Would it tell me anything about what Cas thinks or feels?  Can Chuck even see that?  After a few minutes of deliberation I decide I have to know.  I yank the pages out and read through them.  I cringe when I read my own thoughts, my reactions to Cas...god I sound like a schoolgirl with a crush.  Maybe it’s just because he’s the only guy I’ve ever befriended who isn’t related to me, although he’s not technically a man I suppose.  Apparently Chuck can see what Cas thinks to a degree anyways.  I never realized Cas thought about me so much, at least according to Chuck.  I flip the pages over in embarrassment and stop reading when he writes that Cas was jealous of the cashier.  I feel my cheeks flush.  I remember that day.  He tucked my hair back.  I remember feeling butterflies in my stomach when he did that.  That night I had the...well...the dream of Cas and I.  God it seemed real, it felt real.  It wasn’t until I woke up and realized that I wasn’t lying next to a Cas naked in bed that it was only a dream.  I remember feeling disappointed by that.  I can’t read anymore.  It’s all too much.  The entire idea of an angel and I together...what am I delusional?  </p><p>I get a call from Dean apparently he did end up getting hit by a minivan just like Chuck predicted.  Crap.  I tell him to pick me up at the cafe across from the hotel.  The back window of the impala is covered with a tarp, just like Chuck said.  The car ride to Chuck’s place is silent.  I can tell Dean is unnerved.  When he’s really truly scared he doesn’t talk.  </p><p>“You look terrible.”  Chuck comments while looking at Dean’s bruised face.  </p><p>“That’s because I just got hit by a minivan Chuck.” </p><p>“Oh.”  Chuck stammers. </p><p>“That’s it?  Everything you write about us comes true and all you have to say for yourself is oh?”  I question stalking towards him.  Chuck drops the beer he’s holding and starts walking backwards until he hits the wall.  “Please - please don’t yell at me.”  He whimpers.  </p><p>I grab onto the front of his shirt and push him up against the wall.  He’s around my size, it’s not particularly difficult to throw him around.  “If you know us then you know what I’m capable of.  You’re not telling the whole truth.  I want to know everything now.”  </p><p>“I already told you everything I know!”  He puts his hands up shakily. </p><p>“That’s not good enough Chuck.”  I snarl at him.  </p><p>We are almost nose to nose.  He looks at me and the tiniest wavering little smile flits across his face.  “What?”  I sneer at him. </p><p>“Nothing it’s just...this is kinda hot.”  Chuck's voice is still wavering slightly.</p><p>I smack Chuck against the wall once more.  “Don’t be weird Chuck.”  </p><p>“Sorry, sorry, you’re right.”  He says. </p><p>Then I hear the soft flutter of feathers.  I turn around and see Cas.  “Evalynn let him go.  This man is to be protected.”  </p><p>Dean and I both stare at him confused as I slowly let go of Chuck and walk towards Cas.  “Why?”  Dean asks. </p><p>“This man is a prophet of the lord.”  Cas explains. </p><p>Chuck looks slightly awed.  “You’re...you’re Castiel aren’t you.” </p><p>“It’s an honor to meet you Chuck.  I - I admire your work.”  Castiel says as he picks up one of his books and pages through it.  </p><p>Dean looks surprised.  “Woah, woah, woah, what?  This guy, a prophet?  Come on, he’s practically a penthouse forum writer.”  He turns and points an accusing finger at Chuck.  “Did you know about this?”  </p><p>Chuck pours himself a shot of whiskey.  “I, I might have dreamt about it.”</p><p>“And you didn’t tell us?”  I yell at him.</p><p>“It was too preposterous.  Not to mention arrogant.  I mean, writing yourself into your own story is one thing, but as a prophet?  That’s like M. Night level douchey.”  Chuck finishes his tirade and desperately gulps down another shot. </p><p>Dean moves a little closer to Cas and almost whispers.  “This is the guy who decides our fate?” </p><p>“He isn’t deciding anything.  He’s a mouthpiece - a conduit for the inspired word.”  Cas explains. </p><p>“The word.  What like the word of god?  The new, new testament?”  Dean asks. </p><p>“One day these books will be known as the Winchester gospel.” </p><p>“You gotta be kidding me.”  Dean and I say in unison.</p><p>He looks at us a little confused.  “I am not...kidding you.”</p><p>Dean and I book it back to the motel room to tell Sam.  We’ve gotta be able to stop this whole Sam and Lilith connection.  Dean slams the door open and tells Sammy we gotta go only he won’t budge.  We try to explain to him that Chuck is a prophet and he needs to leave this room now but he won’t come.  Is he seriously down for a tete-a-tete with Lilith?  Is he out of his mind?  What the hell is wrong with him these days.  We can’t get him to leave.  Dean grabs my arm and slams the door shut.  We stand next to the impala and Dean looks desperate, truly desperate.  </p><p>Dean looks up at the sky.  “Well I feel stupid doing this.  But I...am fresh outta options.  So please.  I need some help.  I’m praying okay?” </p><p>We hear the flutter of feathers and turn around to see Cas.  “Prayer is a sign of faith.  This is a good thing Dean.” </p><p>“So does that mean you’ll help us?”  I ask him.</p><p>“I’m not sure what I can do.”  Cas says holding his arms out. </p><p>Dean looks exasperated.  “Drag Sam outta here before Lilith shows up.”</p><p>Cas fixes us with one of his stoney serious gazes.  “It’s a prophecy.  I can’t interfere.” </p><p>I scoff at him.  “Why?  Because it’s divine prophecy?”</p><p>“Yes.”  He replies with that typical deadpan expression.</p><p>“So, what?  We’re just supposed to sit around and wait for it to happen?”  Dean looks at him appalled.  I look at Cas pleadingly.  The mask slips away again.  He seems to be debating something.  Dean starts to walk away.  “You must understand why I can’t intercede.  Prophets are very special.  They’re protected.”  Cas explains, but it feels like there is a hidden meaning.  </p><p>I look at him with a small smile.  “What do you mean by protection?” </p><p>A hint of a devious smirk spreads across his face.  “If anything threatens a prophet, anything at all, an archangel will appear to destroy that threat.  Archangels are fierce.  They are absolute.  They are heaven’s most terrifying weapon.” </p><p>Dean turns around, seeming to finally understand his words.  “And these archangels, they’re tied to prophets?”  He asks.</p><p>“So if a prophet was in the same room as a demon…”  I comment.</p><p>“Then the most fearsome wrath of heaven would rain down on that demon.  Just so you understand why I can’t help.”  That smirk spreads a little further. </p><p>I don’t know what comes over me but I run up and hug him before I can overthink it.  His body is tense, uncertain of what to do I’m sure.  “Thank you Cas.”  </p><p>Dean clears his throat and I let go.  “Take her to Bobby’s.  I’m about to do something insanely stupid.”  I stare at my brother confused.  “Dean what, no!  I ca -”  But then I’m not standing in the parking lot anymore.  I’m standing in the library looking at a very surprised Bobby.  We both stay up until Dean calls and tells us they are okay.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night I see a vision of a young blond man and a middle aged blond woman getting eaten alive by ghouls.  I don’t know why I feel so...strangely connected to the young man.  I wake up crying.  Sobbing really.  A vision hasn’t made me cry like that in years.  Cas is standing there in the corner of my room.  “You were sad, and I - I didn’t know what to do.”  He stares at me confused and desperate.  </p><p>I try to wipe away the tears but they just keep coming.  “I don’t know Cas.  I don’t know what’s happening to me.  I feel like my mind is falling apart.”  I feel my breath starts coming in rapid succession, my heart rate is spiking, I start clawing at my chest.  It feels like I can’t breath.  Cas moves towards me, he looks afraid.  “What - what do I do?”  </p><p>I move to the edge of the bed and put my head in my hands leaning forward, closing my eyes.  Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths.  I feel the weight of someone sitting on the bed next to me.  Cas’s hand gently rubs at my upper back.  His touch is feather light.  My heart and lungs start to slow.  I can breathe again.  “I’m okay...I’m alright, Cas, I’m okay.”  He doesn’t move though.  We just stay like that for a long time.  Me taking deep breaths and his large hand gently rubbing my back.  Eventually I fall back asleep.  When I wake up Cas is gone. </p><p>Sam and Dean come back to Bobby’s and I tell them we need to go to Minnesota.  That’s where the blond boy is, he’s in trouble, we just need to get to him in time.  I just need some time.  There is something so familiar about him.  I feel my heart break every time I see him die.  </p><p>It’s too late though, it’s always too late.  The boy who we thought was Adam, who we thought was another half sibling of John’s, was just a ghoul pretending to be him.  Our real brother we’re burning on a pyre.  I feel like a shell.  Adam may be dead but he was still our brother and now he’s six feet under.  I take another large swig from my old friend Jack Daniels.  I’m starting to feel numb.  I stumble off into the woods and sit down on a stump taking another sip.  Why did I have to be the one to see Adam’s death.  Why do I have to witness my own family’s death?  I take another sip but the bottle is empty.  I feel my chin wobbling as I throw the useless piece of glass against a tree and watch it shatter.  </p><p>I hear the crunch of footsteps coming towards me.  I look up expecting to see Dean, but instead it’s Sam.  He looks angry, a little sad too, but mostly angry.  He’s always angry these days.  “You alright?”  He asks, voice tense.   </p><p>I snort at him.  “Am I alright?  Do I look alright to you?  I hate this.  In what universe is it fair that I have to watch my own brother's death over and over again yet I can’t do a damn thing about it.  I hate being me, I just want to be human, why - why couldn’t I have been born human Sammy?”  I feel my voice crack at the last question.</p><p>I hear him sigh, but I can’t stand to look at him right now.  “I know Evie.  I know.”  </p><p>A few days later I’m still a mess.  I’ve spent each night pounding my way through a new bottle of Jack.  Sam and Dean are upset, but it’s not the same.  It’s never the same.  They don’t understand the guilt.  The deep penetrating guilt of watching someone die and not doing anything about it.  It’s eaten away at me before, but this time...I don’t know.  Even though we didn’t know Adam he was still family.  He was their half brother.  Just like I’m their half sister.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean shakes me awake.  “We’ve gotta go Evie.  Cas came to me in my dream.  He’s spooked, told us to meet him in person.”  We pack up in record time and find the warehouse he told us to meet him at but the place is demolished.  I run as fast as I can out of the car.  I feel my chest start to constrict as I scream.  “CAS!!  CAS!!”  I whirl around.  Where the hell is he?  What the hell happened to him? </p><p>Dean comes up and puts a hand on my shoulder.  “It’s alright, calm down, we’re going to figure this out.”</p><p>I don’t hear him though, all I hear is static.  “CAAAASSSSS!!!!”  I scream and it feels like the word is being ripped out of my lungs.  The firey debris of the warehouse goes flying back like a sonic wave just shredded through it.  I feel my head spinning then the world goes black.   </p><p>I wake up in a motel.  Dean is staring at me with worry in his eyes.  “Hey kid, you okay?  Gave us a bit of a scare.”  </p><p>I sit up slowly, my heads still pounding.  “Feels like I just ran a 5k.”  I slur out.  “Where...where is Cas?”  </p><p>Dean gets up and gently pushes me back so I’m lying down again.  “Hey kid take it easy, just take it easy.  We’re going to find him.  He’s the fluffy little guy on your shoulder right?  He’s gonna be okay, he’s Cas, he’s always okay.”  </p><p>I nod my head shakily but I don’t really believe him.  Something is wrong, deeply wrong, I can feel it.  I can...feel someone hurting him.  </p><p>Dean looks contemplative as he rubs his hands down his thighs, anxious.  “Listen uh, Sam is tracking a possible demon nearby.  I was thinking of catching up with him if you know - if you’re feeling alright.  We were thinking they might know something.” </p><p>I close my eyes and open them again slowly, trying to clear my head.  “Right, right that’s a good idea.  Ya, just give me a sec and I’ll come with.”  I try to get up again but Dean keeps his hand on my shoulder.  “I don’t think so, how about you sit this one out.  Sam and I can take one demon.”  He says ruefully. </p><p>I shake my head no but Dean glares at me.  “It wasn’t a suggestion Evie.”  Once he finally gets me to promise him I won’t leave the room he heads out after Sam.  I still feel like I got slammed into a wall...and I’m hungover.  My fingers feebly grip at the water bottle on the nightstand and drain the entire bottle.  I’m so tired it feels like my bones ache.  I fall back under for what feels like an eternity.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>DEAN</p><p>This is sick.  I knew it was bad, I knew Sam has been hiding something, but I never would have imagined it would be this.  Demon blood.  When I showed up and saw him sucking on that filthy demon’s neck I froze.  I actually fucking froze.  I couldn’t believe it.  This is so, so much worse than a nightmare.  The car ride back to the motel is silent.  There are no words.  I just tell him to stay in the car when we pull up.  I get out and slam the door then run my hand over my mouth.  I can’t lose it, not yet.  Pull your shit together Dean.  I need a plan and fast.  I can’t just leave Evie unconscious in a motel room by herself.  Not after she blew away half of that warehouse debris.  I’ve never known, never seen her do anything like that before.  And now Sam?  Drinking demons blood?  Fucking demon blood!  </p><p>I march into the motel room.  Evie is still passed out, although it looks like she at least drank some water.  That’s good.  Alright, alright, I can pack up the room first then figure out what to do.  After I get everything in the trunk I glance up and see Sammy still sitting in the front seat, his shoulders hunched.  Damn it Sammy, damn it.  I go back into the room and stare at Evie.  She hasn’t moved, hasn’t woken up even with me storming around the room.  I check to make sure she’s still breathing, still got a pulse.  I’ll call Bobbie he’ll know what to do.  After we come up with a demon blood detox plan I pick Evie up carefully.  She doesn’t move, doesn’t stir.  She’s always been small but in that moment she looks impossibly small.  When she’s awake she’s so fearless it’s just...easy to forget that in reality she barely weighs a buck twenty sopping wet.  She’s had such a hard time with Adam dying.  I can’t really imagine what it’s like for her, actually having to watch people die over and over again knowing most of the time you can’t stop it.  Now Cas is missing.  I know she cares about the angel, hell even I consider him a friend I suppose.  I never knew she cared that much about him though.  I’ve never seen her that upset.  Not even when dad died.  I cringe internally thinking about Dad and Evie, they never had a particularly good relationship.  Out of all of us he treated her the worst.  I could never figure out if it was because she was a girl, because she wasn’t fully human, or because she was a reminder that he was unfaithful to mom.  Probably all three.  </p><p>I don’t like having her in the car with Sam but I don’t have many options at the moment.  I lie her down carefully in the backseat and make sure to tuck the motel blanket around her.  I grab one of my jackets and smoosh it into a pillow so she has something to put her head on.  She thankfully doesn’t wake up.  She looks troubled even in her sleep.  How the hell am I going to tell her about Sam especially when she’s barely holding it together?  I sigh then close the back door and hop into the driver's seat.  This is going to be the hardest car ride of my life.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CASTIEL</p><p>The angels have finally released me.  They have very persuasive ways of...reprogramming.  I know what they are doing is wrong.  When Zacariah told the troops on the ground that we are here to insure that the last seal is broken, that Lucifer rises, I knew it was wrong.  I tried to find a way to warn the Winchesters but it was too late.  They found me before the Winchesters did.  Zacariah personally oversaw my reprogramming.  He wanted certainty of my obedience; and he got it the moment he mentioned her.  The moment he said Evalynn’s name I knew it didn’t matter what he told me to do I would do it.  Heaven may not be allowed to kill one of their charges, but they are certainly allowed to do anything and everything short of that.  Zacariah seemed to derive pleasure from describing exactly what he would do to her if I did not comply.  </p><p>The second I got released I sought her out and found her at Bobby’s house, sleeping in her room.  Evalynn does not appear to be having a peaceful sleep.  Dean is sitting in a chair beside her bed holding her hand.  I can hear Sam screaming from the bunker in the basement.  I notice that Dean’s shoulders are shaking and realize he is crying.  I feel so profoundly sorry for the sad desperate man sitting in front of me.  I cannot believe I am about to do this.  But if I don’t do this then they’ll...I can’t let that happen, not to Evalynn.  Surely Dean will understand that when this is all over?</p><p>“Hello Dean.” </p><p>He practically jumps out of his chair as he turns around, swiftly wiping the tears away from his eyes.  “Cas, what gives man I’ve been calling to you for hours.”  </p><p>“There were other matters at hand.  What do you want?” </p><p>“Cut the crap, you were going to tell me something.”  He growls at me. </p><p>I stare blankly at the wall.  “It was nothing of import.” </p><p>He glares at me.  “You got ass reamed in heaven and it was nothing of import?” </p><p>“Dean I can’t.  I’m sorry.  Get to the reason why you called me.  It’s about Sam right?”</p><p>He nods his head, a slight tremor to it.  “Can he do it?  Kill Lilith, stop the apocalypse?”</p><p>“Possibly yes, but as you know he would have to take certain steps.”  </p><p>Dean looks at the ground in anger.  “Crank up the hell-blood regimen you mean.” </p><p>“Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever.  Most likely, he would become the next creature you would feel compelled to hunt.  There is no reason for this to occur.  Dean, we still believe it is you, not your brother.  The only question is whether you’re willing to accept it.  Stand up and accept your role.  You are the one who will stop it.”  The web of lies and half truths I tell taste like sand in my mouth.  I look at the sleeping girl and I know I will tell more lies.  I will do anything.  </p><p>Dean stares at me desperately.  “If I do this Sammy doesn’t have to?” </p><p>“If it gives you comfort to see it that way.”  Another half truth, another lie.</p><p>Dean stands up and paces around the room.  “God you’re a dick these days...fine.  I’m in.” </p><p>“You give yourself over fully in service to god and his angels?”  I ask.</p><p>“Yeah, exactly.” </p><p>“You have to say it Dean.”  Zacariah has to hear you say it I think to myself.  He repeats the words back to me, although his tone is more mocking than mine was.</p><p>“You swear to follow his orders as swiftly and obediently as you did your own fathers?”  I ask.</p><p>Dean throws his arms in the air.  “Yes, ok, yes I swear.  Now what?” </p><p>“Now you wait and we call on you when it’s time.”  I leave the room.  Zacariah has already done his part.  He has released Sam from the bunker.  There is no turning back now and I don’t care to see what happens next.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>I am trapped, trapped in this apocalypse.  Stuck drowning in this thick inky substance.  Constantly trying to breathe but unable to get a breath into my lungs.  Then a hand reaches into the ink and I realize exactly I’m drowning in, it’s blood, demon blood.  I grab onto the hand in desperation and it pulls me out.  “Hello Evie.”  It’s Sam’s face but that is not Sam, that is not my brother.  I wake up gasping.  My chest heaving, lungs starving for air.  I can feel my entire body drenched in sweat.  It’s coming, it’s coming and I can’t stop it.  </p><p>“Hey, hey, woah, there kid.  You’ve been out for a while.  You alright?  How are you feeling?”  Dean has a death grip on my hand while he puts the other one to my forehead.  He helps me sit up in the bed slowly.  </p><p>I feel my own grip tighten on his hand.  “Where’s Sam?  Dean, where is Sam?”  </p><p>“Shh, shh, Evie it’s alright Sam’s safe.”  </p><p>“No, no, he’s not.  Something’s wrong.”  I stutter out. </p><p>“What, do you mean something’s wrong?”  He asks suspiciously. </p><p>“We need to find Sam now.”  </p><p>Dean’s eyes light up in alarm at my statement.  He gets up immediately and runs out of the room.  I hastily strap on my leg braces.  I think we are going to be leaving soon.  Something is definitely wrong.  Just as I am stumbling into the kitchen Dean races up the stairs from the basement.  “Sam is gone, he got out.  How the hell did he get out!”  Dean yells.  Him and I are in the impala and on the road in two minutes flat.  Dean knows that boy better than he knows anyone and we follow his trail to a hotel in a town called Cold Spring.  I get the hotel room Sam is staying in easily enough.  A little flirting and a few white lies with the concierge always does the trick.  Dean tells me to wait in the car, but I follow him up after a few minutes anyway.  Like hell am I letting him go all rambo on Sam’s ass.  </p><p>I run down the hallway towards the room just as Ruby is running away from it.  We stop and stare at each other for a few seconds.  I debate about trying to go after her, but considering that I can barely hold myself up I don’t think I would be too successful.  She slinks past me slowly in the hallway.  “You don’t look so good Evie...maybe you should take a spa day.”  </p><p>“Screw you black eyed bitch.”  I growl at her.  She just smirks at me before running past down the hall.  There’s no point in trying to chase her.  I wouldn’t be able to keep up anyways.  I have to hold onto the wall to keep myself standing, to keep myself moving towards the door.  We can fix this, there has still got to be time, we can fix it. </p><p>When I open the door to see Sam sitting on top of Dean and choking him.  “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!”  I screech at him.  Sam whips his head around and his eyes are so full of pure unadulterated fury and hurt.  I almost take a step back, but I can’t, I can’t let him hurt Dean.  He lets go of Dean’s throat and mimics my actions.  Slowly standing up as well.  </p><p>Dean tries to get up off the floor but can’t.  “Evie get the fuck outta here!”  </p><p>I can feel myself trembling.  “What the fuck is wrong with you Sam?  Have you gone completely insane?”  I keep stalking forward.  We’re only a couple feet apart.</p><p>“Evie, nothing is wrong.  I am trying to do the right thing.  I am trying to stop Lilith!”  He seethes at me. </p><p>“This is not you Sammy.  I saw it in a vision Sam.  I know what you are doing.  Demon blood?  Come on Sammy you know this is wrong.  Whatever you are about to do with that skank out in the hallways, it’s wrong.  Sam come back with us.  Please.”  I beg him.  </p><p>His eyebrows twitch, hurt and rage warring within him.  He seems to be considering it for a moment.  “No.”  </p><p>I take a deep steadying breath.  “I am not letting you leave this room.  Do you understand me Sammy?” </p><p>He glares hard at me.  “You and I both know you can’t stop me.” </p><p>I match his glare.  “I can try.”  I say before lunging forward and slamming my right fist as hard as I can into his jaw.  His head snaps to the side a little.  Before I can register it his fist slams into my jaw and I go flying back.  The side of my head smacking onto the floor.  I cradle my jaw tenderly, pain searing through it.  I can see stars bursting behind my eyes.  </p><p>“FUCK YOU SAM!!  YOU HIT HER!  YOU HIT OUR SISTER!”  Dean roars. </p><p>Sam glares down at the two of us lying on the floor.  “You don’t know me.  You never did.  And neither of you ever will.”  His eyes look murderous.  Then he starts walking away.</p><p>“You walk out that door.  Don’t you ever come back.”  Dean cries at him.  Sam turns around and looks at us one last time, face pained and uncertain, before walking out the door.</p><p>I crawl across the floor towards Dean.  He reaches out for me.  “Evie, Evie...”  </p><p>I can feel myself crying.  I don’t know if it’s from the pain or from what Sam said.  Suddenly Dean and I aren’t in a motel anymore.  We are in an ornate golden gilded room.  Dean and I are standing up, but the moment whatever force transported here is gone I feel myself starting to crumple to the ground.  Then an arm is around my waist and I am being hoisted up by someone.  I look up to see Cas holding me.  “Evalynn you...you’re hurt?”  Cas stares at me confused as he helps me into a plush chair.  He tilts my face to the side inspecting my jaw.  His electric eyes are furious.  Cas turns and glares at Zachariah.  “You promised.”  </p><p>Zacariah rolls his eyes at Cas.  “Oh please, it’s just one uppercut she’ll live.”  But Cas keeps himself hunkered over me, guarding, watchful.  Suddenly an icepack appears in his hand and he gingerly holds it against my jaw.  I notice him wince when I wince.  </p><p>Dean stares down Zacariah.  Every one of his injuries from Sam is fully healed.  “You want to tell me what the hell we’re doing here?”  He asks. </p><p>Zacariah fiddles with the button on his suit.  “Call it a green room.  We’re closing in on the grand finale here.  We want to keep you both safe before show time.  Try a burger Dean they’re your favourite.  From that seaside shack in Delaware.  You were 11 I think.” </p><p>Dean gives him a tight lipped smile.  “Not hungry.” </p><p>“No?  How about Ginger from season 2 of gilligan's island?  You do have a thing for her don’t you?  Don’t worry Cas can move your sister to another room.”  </p><p>Dean stares at him contemplatively.  “Tempting.  Weird, but tempting.” </p><p>Zacariah tries to sweeten the pot.  “We’ll throw in Mary-Anne for free…”</p><p>Dean shakes his head.  “No, no.  Let’s bail on the holodeck, okay?  I want to know what the game plan is.”  </p><p>“Let us worry about that.  We want you focused...relaxed.”  Zacariah answers.</p><p>Dean swaggers towards him.  “I’m about to be pissed and leaving, so start talking chuckles.”  </p><p>Zacariah sighs.  “All the seals have fallen.  Except one.  Lilith has to break it.  She’s the only one who can.  Tomorrow night - midnight.” </p><p>“Where?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“We’re working on it.  Listen you let us do our job and you do yours.” </p><p>Dean glares at him.  “Ya?  And what is my job exactly?”</p><p>“All in good time Dean.  Have faith.” </p><p>Dean scoffs.  “What in you?  Give me one good reason why I should.” </p><p>“Because you swore your obedience.  So obey.”  Zacariah proclaims before disappearing. </p><p>Dean comes over to me looking worried and a little scared.  “Are you alright Evie?  Cas, what’s with the ice pack?  Heal her up!”  </p><p>Cas shakes his head despondently.  “I can’t heal her.  I’ve tried before, apparently angels cannot heal her kind.” </p><p>Dean looks furious.  “That’s great, just freakin’ great Cas.  What the hell are we really doing here?”  </p><p>Cas keeps his eyes focused on my jaw.  “Exactly what Zacariah said.”  </p><p>I place a hand on Cas’s arm; his gaze briefly flickers to meet mine before returning to my jaw.  He looks guilty, guilty and a little scared.  “Cas we need you to take us to Sam.  He’s in trouble.”</p><p>I notice Cas’s jaw clench when I say Sam’s name.  “I am sorry.  I cannot let you see him right now.  Either of you.”</p><p>I take a deep steadying breath.  “Please Cas, it’s important.”  I plead with him.</p><p>“It would not be wise to see him.  Especially after what just happened.”  He says angrily. </p><p>“Cas that’s kind of the point.  That’s why we need to see him.  Something is wrong with him, I know Sam, he would never do this.”  I respond softly.  Cas’s jaw clenches again.  </p><p>Dean clears his throat.  “Listen, I’m gonna do whatever you mooks want, okay?  I just need to talk to Sam.  You can take Evie to Bobby’s place.  I just need five minutes alone with him.”  </p><p>“No.”  Cas replies firmly. </p><p>“No?  No?  Seriously, screw this.  Evie and I are outta here.”  Dean exclaims pissed off.  </p><p>“Through what door?”  Cas says sternly.  Dean and I glance up and the door is gone.  </p><p>“Damn it!”  Dean yells.</p><p>“If you’re not going to help us, then leave.”  I snarl at him.  The hurtful words clawing their way out of my throat. </p><p>He stares at me with a pained look in his eye but I can’t bring myself to care right now.  Something bad is happening, truly, horrifically evil and Cas knows it.  “What?”  </p><p>“GET OUT!  JUST GET OUT!”  I half yell half sob at him.  My mind is cracking at the seams.  Cas disappears and of course it feels like a hollow punch to my gut.  I start sobbing, truly back wrenching sobs.  I feel Dean wrap his arms around me.  “What do we do?  What the hell are we supposed to do?”  I cry into his chest.  “I don’t know Evie.”  </p><p>We try to call Sam but can’t get through.  Dean throws his phone against the wall.  Then he starts throwing everything and anything else in the room against the wall.  But every time he makes a significant dent the wall smooths back over.  It feels like we have been stuck in this room for hours.  My ice pack never goes warm through, stays cold the entire time.  I’m not quite sure what Cas did to it.  Thinking of Cas makes my heart pang again.  Why the hell does he have such an intense affect on me?  When he was gone, when I was in that deep deep sleep I swear I could feel him hurting.  I seriously think I am losing my mind.  Why do I care about him so much?  </p><p>While Dean is trying to break through the wall with a pedestal but it just regenerates.  Zacariah suddenly appears.  “Quit hurling feces like a howler monkey would you?  It’s unbecoming.” </p><p>“Let us out of here.”  I seeth at him. </p><p>He gives me a patronizing pout.  “Oh little girl it’s too dangerous out there.  Demons are on the prowl you know?” </p><p>Dean puts himself between Zacariah and I.  “I’ve been getting my ass kicked all year, and now you’re sweating our safety?  I don’t think so.  I want my sister back at Bobby’s and you to take me to see Sam.” </p><p>Zacariah seems to be pondering the right words to say.  “That would be...ill-advised.” </p><p>Dean gets up in his face.  “You know what, I am sick of your crap riddles and your smug fat face.  What the hell is going on, huh?  Why can’t I see Sam?  And how am I going to ice Lilith?” </p><p>Zacariah sighs.  “You’re not...going to ice Lilith that is.” </p><p>“What?”  We both say in shock. </p><p>“Oh Lilith’s going to break the final seal.  Fait accompli at this point.  Train’s left the station.” </p><p>I look at Zacariah having an epiphany.  “You never wanted to stop it did you?”</p><p>He gives me an expression that seems happily surprised.  “Well aren’t you the teacher’s pet.” </p><p>“What was all that crap about saving seals then?”  Dean asks.  </p><p>“Our grunts on the ground - we couldn’t just tell them the whole truth.  We would have a full scale rebellion on our hands.  I mean take Cas for example; he almost screwed the pooch and told you guys the whole thing!  Couldn’t let that happen could we.  It was much easier than I anticipated, the second I mentioned the sweet little shrieker here he folded like a stack of cards!  I mean think about it.  Would we really have let 65 seals break if upper management didn’t want it?”  Zacariah lectures at us.  </p><p>“But why?”  Dean questions.</p><p>He scoffs and raises his hands.  “Why not?  The apocalypse?  Poor name bad marketing.  It’s just fight night but on a...larger scale.  And we like our chances.  When we win - and we will win - then it’s paradise on earth!  What’s not to like about that!  We might have to crack a few omelettes, well a lot of omelettes, in the millions at least but that’s too be expected.”  </p><p>“Tell us something.  Where is god in all of this?”  I question.</p><p>Zacariah raises an eyebrow at me.  “God?  God has left the building.”  He says before disappearing again. </p><p>I try calling Sam from my phone once more but all I hear is static.  “You can’t reach him.  You are out of your coverage zone Evalynn.”  Cas appears next to me. </p><p>“What are you gonna do to Sam?”  Dean hisses at him. </p><p>“Nothing.  He’s going to do it to himself.”</p><p>I try to get Cas to look me in the eye.  “What is that supposed to mean?”  </p><p>“Why are you even here?”  Dean growls at him. </p><p>Cas glances at me for a moment.  He looks overwhelmingly unsure.  He stares back at the floor.  “We have all been through much together.  I - I wanted to make sure you are both safe.  And I wanted to say that I, I am sorry this has to happen.” </p><p>Dean stares at him in disgust.  “It’s armageddon Cas, sorry isn’t going to cut it.” </p><p>“Try to understand, this has been long foretold.  This is your -”  Dean cuts Cas off.  “Don’t you dare say destiny.  Destiny, god’s plan?  It’s all a load of lies you poor stupid son of a bitch!  It’s just a way for your bosses to keep you and me in line.  You know what’s real?  People, families - that’s what’s real.  And you’re going to watch them all burn?” </p><p>“What is so worth saving?  I see nothing but pain here.  You will all be at peace when this is over.”  Cas says but his tone sounds almost despondent. </p><p>I finally stand up and Cas looks at me.  I slowly walk towards him until we’re only a few inches apart.  Electric blue eyes bore into my dark ones.  “I’ll take the pain, I’ll take all the pain.  It’s a lot better than being some stepford housewife in paradise.  This is simple Cas.  There is a right and there is a wrong here, and you know it.”  </p><p>I feel like we are standing in that warehouse all over again.  His face is torn and so profoundly uncertain of what to do.  He tries to look away but I put both of my hands on his cheeks and force him to keep his eyes on mine.  “You know it!  You were going to help us once.  You were going to warn us about all of this before they dragged you away, before they threatened you.  It’s not too late, you can still help us.  We can still stop this!” </p><p>Anger comes searing back into his gaze.  “I do that.  We will all be hunted.  We will all be killed.”</p><p>I hold his intense gaze.  Resolute in what we have to do.  In the choice we have to make.  “Cas, if there is anything worth dying for.  Anything I would gladly lay my life down for.  This is it.  It’s your choice though, you have to choose.  But I know you Cas.  You know what is right.” </p><p>We stare at each other for a few more moments.  His expression turns resolute and determined.  He turns around and slams Dean up against the wall then covers Dean’s mouth with his hand making a shushing motion.  Dean and I lock eyes, oh my god, Cas is going to help us.  We have a chance, we have a freakin’ chance!  Cas pulls a knife out and draws it across his forearm smearing an angel banishing sigil on the wall in his blood.  </p><p>Zacariah appears.  “Castiel!  Would you mind explaining just what the hell you’re doing?”  Castiel finishes the sigil and slams his hand on the wall.  A bright blue light banishes Zacariah. </p><p>“He won’t be gone long.  We need to find Sam now...I think I know where to start.”</p><p>I grab a hold of Castiel's hand.  It feels like this energy is thrumming between us, almost electric.  We both stare at each other in surprise.  Then Cas seems to remember himself.  “We have to stop Sam from killing Lilith.” </p><p>“But Lilith is going to break the final seal?”  Dean asks confused.  </p><p>“Lilith is the final seal.  She dies, the end begins.”  Castiel says ominously.  He uses his other hand to grab a hold of Dean’s shoulder and suddenly we are in Chuck’s living room. </p><p>He stares at us in shock.  “W-what?  You guys aren’t supposed to be here?” </p><p>“Where is Sam right now?”  I question him pure adrenaline pumping through me.  </p><p>“St. Mary’s convent...but, but you aren’t supposed to be there?  None of you guys are in this scene?”  Chuck says nervously. </p><p>Cas looks down at me.  “Yeah well...we’re making it up as we go.”  I don’t think I have ever been more impressed or proud of Cas than I have been in this moment.  He has changed so much since I first met him.  </p><p>The room starts to shake, I can hear the high pitched whine of an angel, bright light flooding the room from up above.  “It’s the archangel.  I’ll hold them off, I’ll hold them all of!  You two have to go!  Now!”  Cas yells.  He reaches out his hand and touches Dean on the forehead, the next moment he’s gone.  Cas turns to me holding up his hand to send me away.  “WAIT!”  I scream over the high pitch of the archangel.  He stares at me confused.  I don’t know if it’s the adrenaline or what but I grab a hold of his face, get up on my tiptoes, and kiss him.  If I thought holding his hand was electric I don’t even know what to call kissing him.  It only lasts a second, just a moment in time.  I pull away our faces only a hair breath apart.  His blue eyes sear into mine.  “Thank you.”  He says and then I’m standing in a church hallway with Dean.  </p><p>Dean and I look at each other in trepidation.  This is it.  Our last chance.  We look down the hallway and see Sam in the chapel but his back is turned to us.  Ruby is looking at us though.  She smirks like she’s already won then slams the door shut.  “NO!”  Dean roars.  We both charge forward and start banging our hands on the door as hard as we can.  “Sammy!  Sammy! Stop! Sammy!”  I scream as loud as I can.  Dean is screaming out his name too.  Dean tells me to stand back then starts pounding at the door with a massive candelabra.  It’s probably only ten or maybe fifteen seconds but god it feels like a lifetime until that door cracks open.  And for all intensive purposes it might as well have been a lifetime.  Because Lilith is dead.  Sam already did it, he killed her.  Dean rushes towards Ruby and stabs her with the demon knife while Sam holds her arms back.  I run over to the blood on the floor sliding over it and slipping.  I put my hands out, trying to smear it, trying to stop it from coming together.  But I can’t stop it, it doesn’t matter what I do.  I can never stop anything.  I feel my breath pulling shorter and shorter like I’m drowning.  I finally realize this is the vision I’ve been having for the past year.  Me in a pool of dark inky demon blood and I can’t stop it.  Sam comes over and reaches out his hand.  It flashes before my eyes, what Sam is, what he will become...Lucifer’s vessel.  I hesitate for just a second but then my vision clears and it’s Sam again.  It is all Sam, only Sam, staring at me holding out his hand and screaming at me to take it.  I grab a hold and he yanks me off the floor pulling me out of the circle just before it closes.  </p><p>It feels like my legs are about to give out.  I know what is coming.  Sam and Dean each grab a hold of one of my arms and drag me towards the door but it’s too late.  I can hear him he was never going to let us leave.  They try to open it up again but it’s useless.  The three of us huddle by the door and stare at each other as the room gets louder and fills itself with more bright shining light.  Is this it then?  Is this how we all go out?  Sam and Dean each hunch part of their shoulders around me, their last attempt to protect me.  I close my eyes.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>I overhear a very pleasant female voice telling us we will be landing soon.  We are sitting in an airplane.  The three of us look around astounded.  “What the absolute fuck just happened?”  Dean asks.  “No idea.”  I manage to squeak out.  </p><p>The pilot says something over the intercom but my brain can’t even process that we are on a plane right now.  Did we just die?  Is this real?  Is it a dream?  Is it a trick?  I glance out the window and suddenly an impossibly bright white beam of lights blasts its way out of a building into the night sky.  Everybody screams and I can feel my stomach roll as the pilot twists the airplane to the side.  Oxygen masks pop down.  I put mine on while still looking out the window, absolutely terrified.            </p><p>It’s a long journey and we are all equally shocked, exhausted, and completely scared shitless but we find our way to the impala and get back on the road.  None of us have really said anything, least of all Sam, but he finally decides to break the silence.  “Listen you guy -” </p><p>Dean holds a hand up.  “Don’t say anything.” </p><p>The awkward pause that follows feeling like it might last forever.  Dean eventually lets out a deep breath.  “It’s okay.  We’ve just got to keep our heads down and hash this out, alright?”  </p><p>“Yeah, okay.”  Sam replies weakly. </p><p>“All right, well, any ideas how we ended up on Soul Plane?”  Dean puts the question we have all been thinking out there. </p><p>“Angels maybe?  You know beaming us out of harm's way?”  I suggest.  </p><p>“Whatever.  We’re not going to figure it out tonight.  First things first, we need to find Cas.”  Dean grunts.</p><p>Ever since we touched ground and I finally was able to convince myself this is real I’ve been thinking about Cas.  I know that his chances of surviving an archangel are slim, well zero really, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s still here with me.  I can feel him.  Like a beacon out on a foggy sea I know he is out there somewhere.  I know it in my bones.  When we find Chuck in his semi-demolished house though he swears Cas has to be dead.  I tell him it can’t be true and he looks at me with an understandingly sad expression.  He must think I am deluding myself because I kissed him.  Hell maybe I am, but I still can’t let go of that bone deep feeling that Cas is out there somewhere.  I just know he is. </p><p>Zacariah shows up and tries to get Dean to come with him, claiming that now that the apocalypse is on they really need Dean.  While they are squabaling I already cut myself and started drawing the angel banishing sigil on the wall.  Before he can do anything I slam my hand down on it and send Zacariah and his cronies to the four corners of the earth.  “Learned that from Cas you son of a bitch.”  I mutter to the air where the angel was just standing.  We hunker down at a motel.  Sam makes us each hex bags to ward us from angels and demons alike.  He reluctantly admits Ruby taught him how to make them.  </p><p>Thinking of Ruby reminds me.  “How are you doing by the way?  You know, with the whole…”</p><p>Sam shrugs at us.  “I - it’s weird.  To tell you the truth, I’m fine.  No shakes, no fever...it’s like whoever put me on that plane cleaned me right up.” </p><p>“So no more jonesing for bitch blood?  What some kinda supernatural methadone?”  Dean questions skeptically. </p><p>“Yeah I guess.”  </p><p>Dean goes back to cleaning his gun and ignoring Sam.  “Dean look -”  Dean cuts him off.  “It’s okay you don’t have to say anything.” </p><p>“Well that’s good because what can I even say?  ‘I’m sorry’?  ‘I screwed up’?  Doesn’t really do it justice you know.  Look there’s nothing I can say or do that will ever make this right.”  Dean cuts him off again.  “So why do you keep bringing it up?” </p><p>Sam sighs.  After a few moments Dean finally looks up at him.  “Look, all I’m saying is why do we have to put this under a microscope?  We made a mess.  We clean it up.  That’s it.”  Sam nods at him and Dean continues his speech.  “Alright, so if this is just another hunt, then what do we do first?” </p><p>“We’d uh, we’d figure out where it is.”  Sam answers. </p><p>I finally chime in.  This entire thing is ridiculous.  “Great, we just gotta...find the devil!”</p><p>I text Bobby the address of our motel so he can meet up with us.  We’ve got a lot to fill him in on and god knows a phone call isn’t going to cut it.  A couple hours later there’s a knock at the door.  Sam answers it.  We are all expecting Bobby but instead there is a very short awkward looking girl standing there staring at Sam in awe.  She looks like she’s having trouble breathing. </p><p>“Uhh...you okay lady?”  Sam asks utterly confused.</p><p>“Sam, is it really you?”  He glances back at us, but the girl moves towards him and puts a hand on his chest.  She looks like she’s going to pass out.  “You’re so firm.”  Oh...oh god, she’s uh, wow she’s really into him. </p><p>“Uh, do I know you?”  Sam asks, voice sounding highly uncomfortable.  The girl pulls back a bit but continues to gape at him.  “No, but I know you.  You’re Sam Winchester!”  She says before glancing over at Dean and I staring at her in complete bewilderment.  “And you two are...not what I pictured.”  She claims with a slight frown.  “I’m Becky.”  She finally introduces herself before pushing her way into the room. </p><p>“I’ve read all about you guys!  And I’ve even written a few…”  She glances down at the floor and giggles awkwardly.  “Anyways, Mr. Edlund told me where you were.”  Dean stands up from the bed and Sam quickly closes the door.  “You mean Chuck?”  I clarify.  She nods her head yes. </p><p>“He’s got a message, but he’s being watched.  Angels!  Nice change up to the mythology by the way.  The demon stuff was getting kind of old.”  </p><p>I can feel my face falling.  What the hell does she know about ‘demon stuff’ anyways?  “So, are you going to tell us the message Becky?”  I ask in an obviously fake nice voice. </p><p>She nods her head vigorously.  “He had a vision.  Michael's sword is on earth.  The angels lost it.  It’s in a castle, in a hill made of forty two dogs.”  Becky gesticulates wildly as she recites Chuck’s vision.  Dean mouths to me ‘forty two dogs?’  I just shrug in response.  I think this girl has been huffing too much paint thinner. </p><p>“Are you sure you got that right?”  Sam asks skeptically.  </p><p>“It doesn’t make sense but that’s what he said.”  Becky steps closer to Sam, her quivering hand hanging just above his chest again.  “I memorized every word.”  She sets her hand down on his chest and closes her eyes.  Jesus she looks like she’s trying to get off or something.  “For you.”  Becky simpers out.</p><p>Sam glances over at us then down again at Becky awkwardly.  “Um, Becky...do you uh, do you think you could stop touching me?”  She shakes her head.  “No.”</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>DEAN</p><p>It takes a while but we finally get that Becky girl to leave the motel and stop touching Sam.  Man that chick is all hands with him.  A couple of hours later Bobby shows up.  Evalynn flings herself at him so hard if she actually weighed anything she might have knocked him over.  They finally break apart and Bobby comes over and pulls me into a much shorter hug, slapping his hand on my back a couple of times.  I’m just so relieved to have us all together again in one piece.  We start talking about the archangel Michael's sword, I mean this is our first real break, if we could find it we might actually stand a chance at stopping Lucifer.  But then Sam, Sam had to tell Bobby what he did.  He had to tell him that he was the one who broke the last seal, the one who started the apocalypse.  I expected Bobby to be upset but man when he told Sam to lose his number that seemed...harsh, especially for Bobby.  Sam looks crestfallen.  I can tell the poor bastards a few seconds away from crying.  He mutters he’s going to go to the old church down the street and see about doing some research there.  Evie glances at him furtively and says she’ll go with him.  I put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.  I debate about what to do.  I don’t want her to be alone with him especially after everything that just happened, but I don’t want Sam going off on his own either.  I tell her to wait in the room for just a minute.  I need to talk with Sammy alone before they go off together. </p><p>I stop him at the end of the hotel hallway.  “Sam, listen uh, Evie wants to go with you.  She’s - well she’s Evie, you know she’s worried about you.”</p><p>Sam nods his head.  I can tell he’s still upset by what Bobby said though.  I clear my throat.  “So uh, I’m going to let Evie go with you to the church but before I do I need you to understand something.”  Sam stares at me perplexed.  “Understand what?” </p><p>I can feel my body go rigid over what I’m about to say, the ultimatum I’m going to deliver.  “Here’s the deal...I’m going to let you be alone with Evie as long as you understand that if you ever hurt her again, I mean even just a shove, you’re out.”  My tone is cold. </p><p>Sam looks down at the ground in shame, guilt written all over his face.  He knows exactly what I’m talking about.  “Dean I - I promise you I will never, ever, do that.  I, I still can’t believe that I actually hit her.  It wasn’t...I just...god I am so sorry.”</p><p>I scoff a little at him.  “Yeah, right, I’m sure you are.  Just as long as we understand each other.”  Sam nods while brushing away a tear that slipped out.  I can’t even look at him anymore.  I just turn around and walk back to the room.  I tell Evie she can go with Sam, she tears out of the room as fast as her legs allow her to.  I still feel uncomfortable about it but I suppose it’s the best of a shit situation.  I wish Cas were still here.  At least if he was around I know he would stay with her and make sure nothing happened.  They were so close there in the end.  For a little while I thought...it was stupid I thought maybe something was going on between them, but that’s impossible.  I mean I don’t think angels are even allowed.  It must have just been the whole “guardian” thing he was always spouting on about.  </p><p>Bobby and I hunker down and start pouring over book after book trying to decipher how the hell Chuck’s message fits into all of this.  I’m surprised when Bobby starts talking about my dad, saying how maybe he was right about Sam, maybe we did try too hard to save him and never allowed ourselves to consider the alternative...I can’t even fathom the idea though.  No matter what Sam has done I could never, I just could never kill him.  But thinking about dad gives me an epiphany.  I rummage through my rucksack until I find dad’s journal.  There it is.  “I don’t believe it.”  I mutter.</p><p>“What is it?”  Bobby asks, coming over to stand next to me.  </p><p>“It’s a card for my dad’s lockup in upstate New York.  Castle Storage.  42 Rover Hill.  Castle on a hill with 42 dogs?”  </p><p>Bobby takes the card from me.  “So do you think your dad had Michael's sword all this time?”</p><p>“I don’t know.  I’m not sure what else Chuck could have meant.” </p><p>“Yeah, okay, it’s good enough for me.”  Bobby says before he suddenly attacks me.  Throwing me through the barrier wall to the kitchen.  Bobby grabs a hold of me again and slams me back down onto the ground and I black out.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>Sam is silent and sulking in his own self deprecation I’m sure as we walk to the church.  I figured Bobby would be upset when Sam told him he started the apocalypse, but damn, he really laid into him.  I never thought Bobby would just up and tell Sam to get lost.  I guess everyone has to draw a line somewhere. </p><p>Every couple of minutes I notice Sam looking up from the texts we are supposed to be reading to glance at me.  Those sad puppy dog eyes are in full force.  I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it.  Finally I snap at him.  “Sam, why don’t you just spit out what you want to say already?”</p><p>He seems a little flustered by my sudden outburst.  “I uh - I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.  Not that it will ever make up for what I did…”</p><p>I let out a large sigh.  “Listen Sam, I know you blame yourself completely for this apocalypse. But I want you to know that I don’t, okay?  Don’t get me wrong, you definitely share a large portion of it, but there is plenty to go around for all of us.  We all made choices that lead us here.”  </p><p>“That’s not, I mean yes I want to apologize for that too of course, but that wasn’t exactly what I was saying sorry for.”  Sam seems to be struggling to find the right words.  “I wanted to say sorry for what I did to you.  In the motel room with Dean.  I should never...god I should never have hit you.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I just, I want you to know I will never, ever do anything like that again.”  </p><p>I blink at him in surprise.  Of all of the things to say sorry for I didn’t really expect that.  “Sam...I know you won’t.”  He looks at me a little startled, perhaps because of how much certainty I put behind my words.  I give him a pointed look.  “I’m your sister, you think I don’t know you?”</p><p>A tiny feeble wobbly grin pulls at the corners of his lips.  “Thanks Evie, that...that means more than you know.”    </p><p>After a couple hours of fruitless research we walk side by side back to the motel.  It’s strange I know but ever since we found Sam in that chapel, since we were put on that plane, I feel like for the first time in a long time I have my brother back.  He just seems more himself now.  I guess jump starting the apocalypse doses a man with a fair degree of humility.  </p><p>When we get back to the room we are shocked to find Dean getting the crap kicked out of him by some brunette chick and Bobby lying on the floor, a knife sticking out of his stomach.  “NO!”  I scream, rushing to Bobby’s side.  I pull the knife out, put my hands over the wound, and try to apply as much pressure as I can.  I barely notice Sam and Dean fighting with the demons in the background.  One of them hands me a towel and I quickly put the towel onto the wound instead of my bare hands.  Sam and Dean help me get him out of the motel and in record time we make it to the nearest ER.  Bobby seems to have come to on the car ride to the hospital.  I don’t want to leave Bobby here alone, none of us do, but we have to stop the demon’s from getting their hands on Michael’s sword.  </p><p>I think Dean breaks just about every traffic rule as we speed to dad’s old storage facility.  Rushing inside, guns drawn, we look around wildly only to find the body’s of a couple of demons lying on the floor.  Zacariah and two other angels in suits standing over them.  “I see you told the demons where the sword is.”  </p><p>“Oh thank god, the angels are here.”  I say sarcastically. </p><p>Zacariah ignores me.  “And to think - they could have grabbed it anytime they wanted.”  He waves his hand and the door to the locker closes behind us.  Shit.  “It was right in front of them the whole time.” </p><p>“What do you mean?”  Sam asks, gun still drawn. </p><p>“We may have planted that particular piece of prophecy inside Chuck’s skull, but it happened to be true.  We did lose the Michael’s sword.  We truly couldn’t find it.  Until now.  You just hand delivered it to us.”  Zacariah explains. </p><p>Dean looks exasperated.  “We don’t have anything.” </p><p>Zacariah smirks at him.  “It’s you chucklehead.  You’re the Michael sword.”  We all stare at him like he’s off his rocker.  He keeps going.  “What?  You actually thought you could kill Lucifer?  You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing?  No.  You’re just a human Dean.  And not much of one at that.” </p><p>“What do you mean I’m a sword?”  Dean asks, obviously confused. </p><p>“You’re Michael’s weapons, or rather his receptacle.”  </p><p>Realization of what he’s getting at comes over all of us at the same time.  “I’m a vessel?”  </p><p>Zacariah looks at him gleefully.  “You’re the vessel.  Michael’s vessel.”</p><p>“How?  Why - why me?” </p><p>“Because you’re chosen!  It’s a great honor Dean.” </p><p>Dean scoffs at him.  “Oh yeah, yeah, life as an angel condom.  That’s real fun, I think I’ll pass.”</p><p>Zacariah chuckles.  “Joking, always joking.  Well the time for jokes is over.”  He makes his hands into the shape of a gun, then turns to point it at Sam.  “Bang.”  Suddenly Sam crumples over onto the ground.  I’m on him in an instant.  “You son of a bitch, you broke his legs!”  I yell at the dickwad of an angel. </p><p>“Oh I’ll break more than just his legs sweetheart.  I’ll break a lot of things until Dean says yes.  I am completely and utterly through screwing around.  The war has begun and we need our general.  Michael must defeat the serpent as is foretold.” </p><p>Dean stalks towards him.  “There is a reason you are telling us this instead of just nabbing me.  You need my consent.  Michael needs my say so to ride around in my skin suit.” </p><p>“Unfortunately yes.”  Zacariah says as if it's of little consequence to him.</p><p>“How ‘bout eat me.  The answers no.” </p><p>Zacariah seems contemplative.  “Okay, how about this.  Your friend Bobby is gravely injured.  Say yes and we’ll save him.  Say no and he’ll never walk again.”  </p><p>“No.”</p><p>Zacariah makes a flicking motion with his hands and suddenly I’m slammed up against the wall, a gag around my mouth.  “You know...angels can’t tinker with the body of someone created by death.  Can’t magically heal them, can’t magically hurt them.  But I wouldn’t mind using the human ways on your sister.”   </p><p>Dean doesn’t say anything.  Just continues to stare him down.  </p><p>Zacariah raises an eyebrow at him.  “Well then let’s get creative here.  How about I heal you from stage four stomach cancer?”  Dean suddenly starts coughing up blood and falls forward onto the ground.  Zacariah keeps going.  “Or how about we see how Sam does without any lungs?” </p><p>Sam starts gasping but no air seems to be going in.  I struggle against his hold on me, but it’s useless.  I can’t move anything.  “Just kill us.”  Dean says sounding so incredibly tired. </p><p>“Kill you?  Oh no.  I’m just getting started.  Trust me I’ve got a boatload of creative ideas in store.  Just been itching to try a few things out, especially on your mouthy little sister.”  </p><p>A bright light suddenly flashes and Zacariah turns in surprise.  Castiel is here.  I can’t believe he’s here.  He’s alive, I knew he was alive!  One of the angels collapses, a bloody hole in his throat.  Cas standing behind him holding an angel blade covered in blood.  The other angel tries to attack Cas but he fends him off, they are slamming each other around the room but quickly enough Cas gets the upper hand and stabs him in the back.  Zacariah continues to stare at him as Cas stalks towards us all.   “How are you…”</p><p>“Alive?  That is a good question.  How did those three end up on a plane?  Another good question.  Cause the angels didn’t do it.  I think we both know the answer don’t we?” </p><p>Zacariah shakes his head.  “No.  That’s impossible.” </p><p>“It scares you.  It should.  Now put these two boys back together and release my charge, then go.  I won’t ask twice.”  Cas threatens, the air crackling around him.  Zacariah vanishes.  I slide down the wall onto the floor and crawl over to Sam.  We both help each other up.  He’s still gasping slightly for breath.  </p><p>“You all need to be more careful.”  Cas says in a warning tone. </p><p>“Yeah I’m starting to get that.  Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought.”  Dean wheezes out.</p><p>Cas shakes his head.  “I don’t mean the angels.  Lucifer is circling his vessel, and once he takes it those hex bags won’t be enough to protect you.”  Cas puts one of his hands on each of my brother's chests.  They both look momentarily pained.  </p><p>“What the hell was that?”  Dean asks.</p><p> </p><p>“An enochian sigil.  It will hide you from every angel in creation.  Including Lucifer.” </p><p>Dean looks mildly disturbed.  “What did you just brand us with it?” </p><p>“No I carved it into your ribs.”  He replies in that ever matter of fact tone.  </p><p>“Hey Cas, what about Evie?”  Sam questions with worry in his voice. </p><p>Those blue eyes finally look at me and I swear it feels like butterflies are swarming my insides.  “No angel besides me can track Evie.  It is part of being a guardian.  Plus I couldn’t put the carvings on her anyways.  Her body wouldn’t allow it.” </p><p>I take a small step towards him.  “Cas were you...were you really dead?” </p><p>That unsettling uncertainty crosses his face again.  “I don’t know.”  Then he is gone just as quickly as he appeared.  </p><p>We make our way back to the hospital to check on Bobby.  He’s certainly in a foul mood but I understand it.  The doctors told him he’ll never walk again.  I may still be able to walk but I certainly get feeling...limited.  </p><p>“So let me ask the million dollar question.  What do we do now?”  Sam chimes in. </p><p>Bobby shrugs in his wheelchair.  “Well...we save as many people as we can for as long as we can.  Do what we usually do I guess.” </p><p>I stare up at the ceiling and let out a deep sigh. “It’s bad, whoever wins heaven or hell...the fallout will be catastrophic.  We’re royally boned.”  </p><p>Dean looks pensive.  “What if we win?” </p><p>We all stare at him like he’s lost his marbles.  “I’m serious.  I mean, screw the angel and the demons and their crap apocalypse.  Hey, if they want to fight a war they can find their own planet.  This one’s ours and I say they get the hell off it.  We take them all on.  We kill the devil.  Hell we even kill Michael if we have to.  But we do it our own damn selves.”  Dean delivers his speech a little too confidently.</p><p>“And how are we supposed to do all of this genius?”  Bobby asks.</p><p>“I got no idea.  But what I do got is a GED and a give ‘em hell attitude and I’ll figure it out.”</p><p>I can feel a wide grin spread across my face.  “You are nine kinds of crazy.” </p><p>Dean smiles just as wide back at me.  “It’s been said.” </p><p>He goes over and pats Bobby on the shoulder.  “Listen, you stay here.  Evie will keep an eye on you.  Keep on the mend and we’ll see you in a bit.” </p><p>Before Sam and Dean leave Bobby clears his throat.  “Sam you know I - I was awake back there, when I was being possessed.  I heard what I said to you.  I just want you to know...that was the demon talking.  I ain’t cutting you out boy.  Not now, not ever.” </p><p>There’s a long pause before Sam finally sighs.  “Thank you Bobby.” </p><p>“I deserve a damn medal for this but...you’re welcome.”</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>A few days later Sam and Dean finally return to the hospital.  They were trying to see if they could find any leads on where the colt went to no avail.  I suppose that could ice the devil in theory...best chance we’ve got anyways.  Bobby’s mood is just getting progressively worse.  He won’t talk anymore, not even to me.  The three of us are whispering in the hallway about what the hell we should do about it when I get a call from an unknown number.  </p><p>I answer it.  “Hello?” </p><p>“Hello Evalynn, are you with your brothers?” </p><p>“Holy crap Cas is that you?”</p><p>“Yes.  Now are you with your brothers?” </p><p>“Uh ya, I’m with them, we are at St. Mary’s hospital…”  Suddenly Cas is standing right in front of me still holding the phone to his ear.  “What do I do with the device now?”  I flip my own phone shut and look at him pointedly.  He seems to take the hint and follows suit.</p><p>“Cell phone Cas?  Really?  Since when do angels need a phone plan?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“You two are hidden from me now.  If I want to find you I have to -”  Bobby interrupts Cas from inside his hospital room.  “Enough foreplay!  Come over here and lay your damn hands on me!” </p><p>No one moves as Bobby turns around, obviously agitated.  “Get healing.  Now.” </p><p>“I can’t.”  Cas says in an almost sorrowful tone. </p><p>“Say what?”  Bobby looks livid.</p><p>“I’m cut off from heaven and much of heaven’s power.  My personal grace only provides me with specific limited abilities.  Certain things I can.  Certain things I can’t.”  </p><p>“You’re telling me you lost your mojo just in time for me to get stuck in this trap for the rest of my life?”  Bobby is seething. </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Shove it up your ass.”  Bobby snaps at him.  “Hey!  Lay off, it’s not his fault.”  I defend Cas.  I know Bobby has been going through the ringer but he doesn’t have to take it out on us.  Bobby just turns back to the window.</p><p>“Well at least he’s talking now.”  Dean grumbles. “I heard that.”  Bobby spits back at him. </p><p>Cas seems mildly irritated.  “I don’t have much time.  We need to talk.  Your plan to kill Lucifer.” </p><p>“Yeah, you wanna help?”  Dean asks hopefully. </p><p>“No.  It’s foolish.  It can’t be done.”  </p><p>We all look at him with slightly fallen faces.  “Gee, thanks for the show of support.”  I mumble.</p><p>Cas glances at me and he still seems oddly hopeful.  “I believe I have a better solution.  There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer.  Strong enough to stop the apocalypse.”  </p><p>“Who’s that?”  Sam questions. </p><p>“The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane.  God.  I’m going to find God.”</p><p>We all stare at him like he’s lost his mind.  “You are gonna find God.”  Dean says slowly. </p><p>“Yes!  He isn’t in heaven.  He has to be somewhere.” </p><p>I snort a little.  “Try New Mexico.  I hear he’s on a tortilla.” </p><p>“I do not think he is on any flatbread.”  Cas tells me seriously. </p><p>Dean pinches the bridge of his nose then looks up.  “Listen, even if there is a god he is either dead - and that’s the generous theory.”  Cas interrupts him.  “He’s not dead.”  Dean keeps pushing on.  “Or - he’s up and kicking and doesn’t give a rats ass about any of us.” </p><p>Castiel glares at him.  “Enough.  This is not a theological issue.  It’s strategic.  With god’s help we can win.”</p><p>“It’s a pipe dream Cas.”  Dean counters. </p><p>Cas advances towards Dean coming toe to toe with him.  “I killed two angels this week.  Two of my brothers.  I’m hunted.  I rebelled.  And you and your brother started the apocalypse anyway.  I lost my home and you failed.  So keep your opinions to yourself.”  Cas looks so incredibly hurt, I can feel it.  Like an ache in my bones I can feel it.  I reach out my hand and grab a hold of one of his, giving it a tight squeeze.  There is nothing any of us can really say to make it better.  He glances down at our hands then up at my face.  I can see the bitter loss written all over it.  The guilt, the uncertainty of if he made the right decision.</p><p>“You didn’t just drop in to tear us a new hole.  What is it you want?”  Bobby pipes up. </p><p>Cas collects himself partially.  “I did come for something.  An amulet.  Very rare.  Very powerful.  It burns in the presence of god.” </p><p>I slowly let go of his hand.  Trying to ignore whatever kind of weird connection we have.  “I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about.  We don’t have anything like that.” </p><p>Cas glances away from me and stares at the little amulet on the necklace Dean always wears.  We all follow his gaze confused.  Is that the thing he’s talking about?  “What this?”  Dean asks, holding onto it.  </p><p>“May I borrow it?”  </p><p>“No.”  Dean grunts at him.  He stays silent for a few more seconds, but then seems to realize Cas is being serious.  He takes it off.  “Alright I guess.” </p><p>Dean holds it out but before Cas can take it he pulls back a bit.  “Don’t lose it.”  Cas stares at him intently before taking it from him. </p><p>“Great now I feel naked.”  Dean mumbles. </p><p>“I’ll buy you a locket.”  I joke with him. </p><p>Right before Cas vanishes he says.  “I’ll be in touch.”</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shortly after Cas leaves Bobby gets a call from Rufus.  He’s in some small town in Colorado and it sounds like he’s in trouble.  Dean, Sam, and I hit the road.  It would seem like old times except for the fact that, well, you know, it’s apocalypse now.  Dean barely lets either of us out of his site when we get to town.  It’s crawling with demons.  We find Ellen and after a while figure out that it’s not really demons.  It’s just people.  It dawns on me that’s probably why I’m not getting any visions of anyone dying.  No one is being killed by supernatural beings.  They are just getting tricked into doing it by someone else.  And that someone else is war, one of the horsemen of the apocalypse.  His power seems to come at least in part from his ring.  We followed him to the edge of town where we saw an old red mustang when we first arrived.  Dean grabs a hold of war.  I see Sam draw the knife.  That strange little voice in the back of my head suddenly rears up and screams that I have to do it.  I grab Sam by the shoulder and gesture for him to hand me the knife.  There must be something in my gaze that is telling him I have to do it because he surprisingly hands it over.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay.  That’s a sweet little knife you got kiddo but come on.  You can’t kill war!  We’re practically family after all!”  </p><p>“Oh I know.”  I say right before slamming his hand on the front of the mustang and slicing off his ring and pinky finger.  The fingers and his ring go tumbling to the pavement.  We glance up and the man and his mustang are gone. </p><p>The three of us sit down at a picnic table, staring at the ring, unsure what’s next.  Dean picks it up and inspects it.  “So, pit stop at mount doom?”</p><p>“Dean -”  Sam tries to start but Dean cuts him off.  “Sam let’s not.”  I elbow Dean in the ribs.  I can tell what Sam is trying to say is difficult. </p><p>“This is important.  Look, I know you two don’t trust me and just now I’ve realized something.  I don’t trust me either.  From the minute I thought I saw demon blood there was only one thought in my head.  I tell myself it’s for the right reasons, that my intentions are good...and it, it feels true you know?  But I think underneath it all, I just miss the feeling.  I know how messed up that sounds.  The thing is the problem isn’t the demon's blood, not really, the problem is me.  I mean what I did...I can’t blame the blood or Ruby.  The problem’s me.  How far I’ll go.  There’s something in me that scares the hell outta me.” </p><p>“What are you saying?”  I practically whisper.  Scared of where this conversation is heading.</p><p>“I’m in no shape to be hunting.  I need to step back because I’m dangerous.  Maybe it’s best we just...go our separate ways.”  </p><p>I stare at Sam like that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.  “I think you’re right.”  Dean says.  I whip my head to the side to look at him instead.  “You can’t be serious Dean?  I mean come on.  We can’t just - just let him go?” </p><p>Dean seems to be contemplating something.  “The truth is; I spend more time worrying about Sam than I do about doing the job right.  And we just...we can’t afford that.  Not now.” </p><p>I look back at Sam, expecting him to take it back.  For him to say he wants to stay with us.  He just shrugs.  “I’m sorry Dean.” </p><p>Dean looks him in the eye.  “I know you are Sam.” </p><p>“You two are unbelievable, you know that?  Absolutely unbelievable.”  I snarl furiously at both of them before getting up and marching off to the impala.  Making sure to slam the door as hard as I can.  </p><p>A few minutes later Dean slides into the driver's seat.  “Evie look -”  I cut him off.  “I do not want to hear it right now Dean.  If you’re not going to go back and get him just drive.” </p><p>I notice his jaw clench but he doesn’t say anything else.  We both sit in silence.  Fuming in our own thoughts.  I hate when they do this.  I hate when they just make decisions and don’t even ask me, don’t even give me a voice.  I’m not their kid sister anymore yet they constantly treat me like a child.  Like I can’t make decisions, like my opinions don’t matter.  I briefly thought about leaving with Sam but I know Dean would never allow it.  He’s the oldest so he gets to make all of my decisions for me right?  I scoff at myself internally.  He will never let me go.  He will never let me grow up.  Don’t get me wrong I still love him.  I will always love him...doesn’t mean I can’t get tired and frustrated and irate with the way he treats me.  It’s always been me and Dean through thick and thin.  The two of us.  No matter what happened we have always stuck together.  Through all the times Sam, and to a degree even dad, bailed on us, bailed on this family, we stayed together.  We always held out hope that Sam would come back.  Which is why I can’t understand why Dean would give up now, now is when we need hope the most.  It’s all we have left at this point.</p><p>Dean and I spend the next week hunting down a vampire.  After we gank it we head out of town and stop at a motel for the night.  I’m not even sure where we are going at this point.  Back to Bobby’s?  What do we even do?  I just finished showering and wrapped a towel around me as I comb through my wet hair.  Staring at my pensive reflection in the mirror.  Dean and I didn’t say anything the entire car ride.  I sigh.  I know when I go back out there we’ll need to have at least a small talk to diffuse some of the tension.  We can’t just walk around each other on eggshells forever.  As I’m dragging the comb through a particularly stubborn knot Castiel appears behind me in the bathroom mirror.  I scream bloody murder in surprise.</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CASTIEL</p><p>The search for god has been...more difficult than I imagined.  But I have a plan.  I need help though.  Evie would be the best one to help me.  Dean as well if he can.  Heaven cannot kill one of it’s charges and they certainly wouldn’t kill Michael’s vessel.  Not even an archangel would do that.  And I happen to know where Raphael’s vessel is.  </p><p>I pull at the connection I have to Evie to find her.  It’s like pulling at an invisible string that reaches across time and space.  Then I am standing in a rather poorly lit bathroom right behind Evie.  I - I did not expect her to be in such a state.  She is wearing very, very little.  The towel does not particularly cover much.  I am suddenly reminded of the first time I saw her.  Her dress was torn and there were only small pieces of fabric covering her...intimate areas.  I feel like I’m supposed to do something?  Turn around maybe?  Cover my eyes?  But I don't, I just stare at her.  I watch a bead of water roll off her wet hair down the crevice between her breasts.  My throat feels dry and that odd sensation that I get when I watch her bite her lip comes back.  Only this time the sensation is much much more intense.  It’s...overwhelming.  I can’t think about anything else.  All I can do it stare at her, eyes roving over every inch of pale skin.  I realize I’ve never seen her bare legs before.  They are always covered in tights.  She has very nice legs.  That overwhelming sensation begs me to touch them.  </p><p>Then she lets out a scream.  That seems to snap me out of whatever spell I was under.  I finally look up and her eyes meet mine in the mirror.  We both appear completely bewildered.  Suddenly the door is being knocked down and Dean is barging into the small bathroom.  </p><p>“What the hell Cas?!”  He yells at me.</p><p>“I - I uh...I was looking for Evie.”  </p><p>“Ya Cas, I can see that!  Why the hell are you in the bathroom with her?”  </p><p>I can feel my eyebrows furrowing.  “I just told you.”  </p><p>Evie has a hand to her chest, like she does whenever she’s trying to catch her breath.  “Cas, good lord you scared the daylights out of me.”  She turns around and peers up at me.  I notice her cheeks are a dark pink.  “Just...next time you need to pop in can you make sure I’m not in the bathroom first?” </p><p>“I apologize.  I - I did not mean to frighten you.  There is urgent business we must discuss.”  </p><p>Dean let’s a large breath that sounds...exasperated I think is the right word.  “Cas?  Get the hell out of the bathroom!”  He grabs a hold of my trench coat and yanks me out of there before slamming the door shut.  Dean wheels around and points a finger at me.  “Personal boundaries Cas, ever heard of them?”  </p><p>I tilt my head slightly to the side and nod.  We’ve had the conversation a couple of times before.  “I am sorry.  I forget the custom sometimes.”  </p><p>Dean throws his hands in the air before pinching the bridge of his nose.  “It’s fine just try not to make a habit out of it, alright?”  I nod again. </p><p>Evalynn comes out then wearing what I believe is a robe.  “Well awkward greetings aside.  How are you doing Cas?  What’s going on?”</p><p>Right, yes, focus, the reason you came here.  “I require your help.  You and Dean’s that is.  I would invite Sam but there would be no guarantee of his safety.  Where is Sam?”  </p><p>The two of them glance at each other.  I can feel that Evalynn is upset.  Dean clears his throat.  “Sam is taking a separate vacation from us for a while.”  </p><p>Evalynn looked at Dean angrily for a few more seconds before glancing at the floor.  “So...what exactly do you need help with Cas?  The god hunt?  I doubt we would be that helpful.” </p><p>“No.  I need assistance finding someone else.  An archangel.  The one who possibly killed me.” </p><p>Dean crosses his arms over his chest.  “Excuse me?” </p><p>“His name is Raphael.”  I explain. </p><p>“You got wasted by a teenage mutant ninja angel?” </p><p>I find it is more efficient to ignore Dean’s strange joking remarks that I fail to understand.  “I’ve heard whispers that he is walking the earth.  This is a rare opportunity.” </p><p>“For what?  Revenge?”  Evalynn asks with a note of alarm in her voice. </p><p>“No.  For information.”  </p><p>Dean does not appear particularly convinced of this plan.  “So what, you think you can find this dude and he’ll just spill god’s address?” </p><p>“Yes, because we are going to trap him and interrogate him.” </p><p>I can feel that Evalynn is worried, anxious.  “Oh man, you’re serious about this.” </p><p>“Give us one good reason why we should do this.”  Dean says holding up his index finger. </p><p>“Because you are Michael’s vessel and Evalynn is a charge of heaven.  Neither of you will be harmed.”  I try to explain. </p><p>“So what?  We’re your bullet shields then?”  Dean asks. </p><p>I look over at Evie sitting on the bed now.  “No I would never...jeopardize either of your safety.  I need help is all.  I can’t do it alone and you guys are the only one’s I have.”  I answer honestly. </p><p>Evie speaks up instead of Dean.  “We’ll help you Cas.  Of course we will.”  Dean turns around and glares at her.  They seem to be having some sort of silent conversation.  Based off of Evie’s pleased expression it appears she won.  “Alright, alright.”  Dean grumbles. </p><p>I reach out to touch their foreheads and take us all to Maine but Dean quickly backs away.  “Whoa, last time you zapped us someplace I didn’t poop for a week.  We’re driving.” </p><p>I decide I do not like cars.  They are quite slow.  It is a tedious form of transportation.  I do not know how humans do it all the time.  I can feel that Evie is still irritated about something.  I notice her anger spikes every time she looks at Dean.  They must be having a fight.  I sit in the backseat quietly for an hour and thirty three minutes.  Then Evie turns around and smiles at me.  “You ever finish that book I gave you?” </p><p>“Yes, it was quite good.  The telepathic gorilla has many wise ideas.”  I pull the book out and show her, to prove that I still have it.  </p><p>She looks at me thoughtfully.  “Well I’m glad you liked it so much.  You know there’s a sequel?”  </p><p>I shake my head no.  She turns around more fully and pushes her torso over the seat to unzip a duffel bag sitting in the space next to me.  A few strands of her unbound hair brush against my face.  It has a pleasant smell to it...lavender I think.  She seems to have found what she’s looking for because she pulls back a bit and holds out another book to me.  “Here.  For you to add to your collection.”  Evie’s face is just a couple inches away from mine.  The last time her face was this close to me was when she kissed me.  That memory brings back a torrent of emotions.  I was so surprised when she did it, but the shock wore off fast and in its place came pure bliss.  I had never felt pleasure like that before.  It was...indescribable having her lips on mine.  The longer I watch her the more confused Evie’s expression becomes.  “Unless you - you don't want to read it?” </p><p>I shake my head a little bit to focus.  Being around her is much more distracting than I anticipated.  Ever since she kissed me I find it difficult to think of anything else when I’m near her.  “Hmm, yes I would enjoy reading it.  Thank you.”  I take the book from her.  She smiles at me.  I like when she smiles at me.  It makes me feel...special.  “You can keep that one to.”  Evie says before twisting back around to face forward.  </p><p>I finish the book long before we make it to Maine.  I can understand why humans read for entertainment.  It is a much more pleasurable pastime than sitting or standing and simply waiting.  Especially when one has to wait so long.  Like on this car ride.  </p><p>We make it to Maine and get out of the car at the Waterville Sheriff’s Department.  A man in this building witnessed Rafael.  I watch as Evie smooths down her black skirt and re-adjusts the glasses resting on her nose.  She does not need glasses.  She has perfect vision.  </p><p>Dean walks over to us.  “So why are we here?”</p><p>“A deputy sheriff laid eyes on the archangel.”  I explain. </p><p>“And he still has eyes?  Alright, what’s the plan.”  Dean says.</p><p>I contemplate it for a moment.  “We'll tell the officer he has witnessed an angel of the lord and the officer will tell us where the angel is.” </p><p>Evie grins at me.  “Seriously?  You’re going to walk in there and tell him the truth?”  She seems to find the idea very amusing. </p><p>“Why not?”  I frown at her.  I am being serious.</p><p>“Because we’re humans Cas.”  Dean says pulling out three black badges that have the letters FBI on them.  Evie takes two of them and puts one in her jacket pocket.  Then she comes up close to me, opens my trench coat, and puts the other badge in the inside pocket.  She reaches up and her small hands button the top button of my shirt then fiddles with my tie until it is pushed up to the top as well.  She runs one of her hands down the front of the tie smoothing it out.  It takes me a few moments to realize I have not been breathing.  Not that I need to technically, but it is an expected act.  Her touch feels intimate and the memory of her kiss rams full force to the front of my mind.  </p><p>Evie smirks up at me, one hand still on the tie.  I can feel the warmth of her touch through the shirt like it’s searing into my flesh.  “I’m going to let you in on a secret Cas.  When humans want something really really bad...they lie.”</p><p>“Why?” </p><p>“Because that’s how you become president.”  Dean says with such seriousness I suppose it must be true.  </p><p>We find the deputy and Dean introduces us, although he does not use our actual names.  One of the lies I suppose.  When he says we’re FBI, he and Evie take out the badges from their pockets.  After a few seconds of them staring at me.  I finally catch on and take out my badge as well.  Dean hangs his head for a moment.  I cannot tell if he’s upset or if he is trying not to laugh.  Evie gently takes the badge out of my hand and turns it over.  “He’s new.  I’m an analyst just out to get some field experience.”  She explains to the bewildered deputy.</p><p>I keep trying to insist to the deputy that the skirmish he witnessed was between angels and demons but Dean keeps interrupting me.  Evie puts her hand on top of mine and I look at her.  She shakes her head and whispers ‘stop talking’ low enough so only I can hear it.  The deputy proves to be helpful as he gives us the location of Raphael’s vessel.  We make a plan to go into the hospital where the vessel is located at sunrise tomorrow.  I have to retrieve holy oil from Jerusalem first.  When I return Dean informs me that Evalynn is already asleep.  I did not realize the hour was so late.  It is just Dean and I sitting in the abandoned living room.  </p><p>“Tell me something.  You keep saying we are going to trap this guy.  Isn’t that kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?”  He asks.</p><p>“No it’s harder.” </p><p>Dean looks thoughtful.  “Do we have any chance of surviving this?” </p><p>“You and Evalynn will no doubt be unharmed.  I will likely die.” </p><p>Dean smirks a little at me.  I don’t think he truly understands the full magnitude of the danger we will be in, well, danger I will be in.  “So buddy, last night on earth?  What do you wanna do?”  He asks in a teasing manner.</p><p>I shrug.  If I were being honest I would want Evalynn to read to me again, but she has already retired.  “I just thought I’d sit here quietly.”  I say while pulling out the first book Evie gave me.  I don’t intend to read it again.  I just like holding it.  It makes me feel close to her.  I gently stroke the weathered spine.  </p><p>Dean scoffs.  “Come on man anything?  Booze?  Women?”  When he mentions women I assume he is referring to fornication.  I look away from him.  This is uncomfortable.  I do not like dwelling on the subject.  Whenever the subject is mentioned these days my first thought is always of Evie.  I should not think of her in such a way.</p><p>Dean stares at me with a shocked expression.  “You have been with women before?  Right?  Or another angel at least?”  I rub the back of my neck becoming increasingly uncomfortable at his line of questioning. </p><p>“You mean to tell me you’ve never done a little cloud seeding?”  His tone is borderline mocking. </p><p>“Look, I’ve never had occasion okay.”  I snap at him.    </p><p>Dean grabs his jacket then pulls me up from my chair.  “Alright.  Let me tell you something.  There are two things I know for certain.  One, Bert and Ernie are gay.  Two, you are not gonna die a virgin.  Not on my watch.”  He starts pulling me towards the door. </p><p>I am so confused about why this matters to him.  Surely it is sinful to do such a thing?  I pause a sudden thought coming to my head.  “You seem very concerned about my virginity, yet you do not seem to be concerned about Evalynn’s virginity?”  </p><p>Dean jaw drops.  “Cas, that is completely different.”</p><p>I continue to stare at him.  “I do not understand why it is so different.  Why is it a bad thing for me to be a virgin but not a bad thing for her?”</p><p>“Because, because she's my sister that’s why!  It’s just...it’s different for girls okay?  I’m not saying it’s fair, it's just different.  Trust me.”  Dean sputters over his words.  He grumbles for me to come along.  I follow him to the car still unsure what exactly we’re doing. </p><p>I tap my fingers anxiously against the glass of beer in front of me.  Not that alcohol will do anything to my faculties.  The amount I would have to consume for that to happen would be much much greater.  I still sip at it nonetheless.  I should not be here right now.  The women are dressed inappropriately.  I cannot meet any of their gazes. </p><p>“Hey man relax.”  Dean says giving my shoulder a light shove. </p><p>“I should not be here.  This is a den of iniquity.”  I whisper lowly. </p><p>Dean leans in a little further.  “Dude, you full on rebelled.  Iniquity is one of the perks.” </p><p>A blond woman with a painted face approaches us.  “Show time.”  Dean whispers.  “Hi what’s your name?”  The woman asks as her voice holds a false cheer to it.  I keep my eyes steady on the beer in front of me.  </p><p>I can hear Dean shifting in his seat next to me.  “Cas, his name is Cas.  What’s your name?”</p><p>I glance up at her.  “Chastity.”  She simpers, twirling a lock of her hair.  I can’t help but compare her to Evie.  The blond hair looks fake.  Not like Evie’s white curls.  The woman’s eyes are a hazel color.  Not like Evie’s dark onyx ones.  The woman’s skin is almost orange.  Not like Evie’s pale complexion.  I am sure to plenty this woman is beautiful but it doesn’t really matter to me...she’s not Evie.</p><p>The woman, Chastity, although I can tell she is not chaste, pulls me up by the arm and starts trying to walk me to a back room.  I panic and turn around to Dean for help.  What am I supposed to do?  I know I can’t - I can’t fornicate with this woman.  Dean comes up and I think he may stop this insanity but instead he pulls out a wad of cash and shoves it into my hand.  “Hey, listen, I want you to take this.  If she asks for a credit card say no.  Do not order anything off menu.  Just stick to the basics.”  He pats my shoulder fondly.  “Go get her tiger!”</p><p>Chastity keeps dragging me towards the back.  I can feel my panic rising.  I look back at Dean one last time and he sticks his thumb up at me.  The woman smiles coily as she opens a door to a darkly lit room with a bed in it.  I stop at the doorway.  I can’t go in there!  She keeps trying to pull me inside but I won’t budge.  Then she comes up in front of me and starts to loosen my tie.  It doesn’t feel anything like when Evie was touching my tie earlier today.  She cards one of her hands through my hair and starts leaning her face forward and pursing her lips.  I think she’s going to try and kiss me.  I can’t let her kiss me.  I couldn’t, not when all I can think about is Evie.  I say the first thing that comes into my head.  “It’s not your fault your father Gene ran off.  It had nothing to do with you.  He just hated his job at the post office.” </p><p>Chastity’s face crumples in surprise and sadness as she lets go of me and back away.  “How - how the hell do you know about my father?  Why would you say that to me?”  </p><p>“I - I uh, I just didn’t want you to keep touching me.”  I tell her honestly.  I cannot think of a lie and I am not particularly good at telling them.</p><p>She stares at me like she may be physically sick.  Then anger takes over and she screams right before slapping me across the cheek.  I move my head with the slap so she doesn’t hurt her hand.  She starts throwing random things in the room at me, including a table lamp.  “Get out of my face!  You bastard!  Screw you jerk!”  She keeps screaming while slamming her hands into my chest to move me out of the doorway then runs down the hall.  She walks by Dean who is staring at me confused.  “Screw you to jerk!”  Chastity yells at him before storming off.</p><p>Dean approaches me.  “The hell did you do?” </p><p>I blink at him slowly, feeling dazed by the whole experience.  “I don’t know.  I just told her that it wasn’t her fault her father Gene left.  It was because he hated his job at the post office.” </p><p>Dean shakes his head.  “Oh no man.  This entire industry runs on absent fathers!  It’s the natural order of things!”</p><p>Two large men in black t-shirts enter the hallway and glare at us suspiciously.  Dean yanks me by the trench coat and we exit out of the backdoor.  As soon as we are outside in the alleyway he starts laughing.  “What’s so funny?”  That entire experience held no humor for me. </p><p>“Oh nothing.  Just, whoo, it’s been a long time since I laughed that hard.  Years.”  Dean’s face seems to fall when he says that. </p><p>We return to the abandoned house we’ve been staying in as there is still five hours until sunrise.  When we walk inside Evie is up, although she is still in her sleeping clothes.  I believe she called it a nightgown once.  She rubs her eyes with the back of her hands, indicating she just got up recently I presume.  The motion is strangely endearing.  “What’s goin’ on?  Where were you two?”  She asks sleepily.  Evie looks very...soft right now.  Even more so than usual.  I can feel myself beginning to calm down.  I am glad she is up.  </p><p>“Your brother took me to a den of iniquity.  It was not a pleasant experience and I do not wish to return.”  I answer.  She suddenly snaps her eyes open at me.  She looks stunned.  Evie levels a hard glare at her brother.  I can feel she is livid.  “Dean!  What the hell!  Why would you do that?”  </p><p>“Damn I was just trying to show the guy a good time.  He kept saying Rafael was going to kill him tomorrow.  Figured you know, last night on earth and all?”  Dean replies but his voice sounds weaker than normal.  </p><p>Evie grabs a hold of Dean by the jacket and drags him into another room.  “Excuse us for a sec Cas.”  She mumbles at me as they disappear around the corner.</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>I cannot believe my brother sometimes.  He can be so thick in the head.  What the hell was he thinking taking an angel to a brothel?  As soon as we are in the rundown kitchen I turn on him.  “Were you dropped on your head as an infant?  Why on earth would you take my guardian angel to a brothel?  Come on, it’s Cas man!  You really thought he would have fun there?”  </p><p>Dean does that awkward shuffle when he knows he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t.  “I mean...ya?  Okay, okay, so maybe I didn’t really think it through.  It’s not like anything happened to him anyways.  He basically shot himself in the foot before she even touched him.”  </p><p>I scoff at him.  “Your damn right you didn’t think it through.”  I get up in his face and shove my pointer finger into his chest.  “Don’t you ever pull something like that again!” </p><p>He seems to be realizing something as he glances down at me suspiciously.  “Why do you care so much?” </p><p>“Because...because he’s Cas!  And you know, he’s our friend, and, and, we should be looking out for him!”  I manage to stutter. </p><p>He loosens up a little bit but still seems skeptical.  God the last thing I need is my brother finding out about my ridiculous crush on Cas.  We go back into the living room where Cas is standing awkwardly.  Clearly unsure of what to do or say.  I grab a hold of his hand and march us off into one of the cleaner rooms in the house I was using as a bedroom.  I can hear Dean following along behind us.  I turn around and glare at him so hard I think a blood vessel might burst.  He pauses and takes the hint to stop following.  God he is so paranoid.  What the hell does he think is going to happen?  We are talking about Cas here, the angel who just turned down a hooker.  </p><p>“Are you alright?”  I ask him.  He nods his head.  “Yes, I am perfectly well.  I am sorry if we woke you.”  He says solemnly.  </p><p>“You didn't, it's fine.  Dean shouldn’t have taken you there.  I’m sorry about that, my brother doesn’t always think things through.  Listen, um, he mentioned what you said about Rafael possibly killing you tomorrow?  I mean are you really that worried?”  </p><p>He glances down at the floor.  “Yes...I was hoping Dean wouldn’t mention that to you.  I did not want you to be alarmed.” </p><p>I put a hand on his arm and he peers down at me.  “Cas, if you think I am going to let Rafael smite you again you are out of your mind.”  </p><p>He frowns a little.  “I am afraid it is unavoidable.  We have to try and trap him tomorrow.  It is the only way we can get the information we need.”  </p><p>That tiny voice in the back of my head is whispering that Cas will be okay tomorrow.  That tomorrow is not when he dies.  I suddenly feel relaxed, like my whole body has melted slightly.  “That’s not what I mean.  I know we are going to trap him tomorrow.  I also know that you are going to live.  Chalk it up to weird banshee instinct if you want, but something is telling me you are going to be fine.”  </p><p>He doesn’t seem to quite believe me.  “I should allow you to return to resting shouldn’t I?”  Cas asks very seriously. </p><p>I shrug.  “Probably, but I’m already up now.  It usually takes me a while to go to sleep.”  </p><p>He seems to be contemplating something.  “Why don’t you just ask whatever it is you’re thinking.”  I comment. </p><p>“Are you going to read before attempting to sleep again?”  He asks in an almost embarrassed tone if I didn’t know any better.    </p><p>“Um, I mean, ya probably.  Why do you wanna know?”</p><p>He stares at the floor and shuffles his feet for a second.  “If you...if you were going to read would you mind reading out loud?” </p><p>I stare at him a little stunned.  I am surprised of all things he is thinking about that week we spent together.  “Sure Cas.  If you would like. I don’t mind.”  </p><p>He smiles sheepishly at me.  “Yes I would like that immensely.”  </p><p>I rummage through my bag.  The only other book I brought with me is a collection of Jane Austen novels.  I don’t know how much he will enjoy hearing pride and prejudice.  “Well, ummm, as long as you don’t mind me reading you a chick novel.”  I say dryly.  I can hear steps creaking outside the doorway.  I am sure it’s Dean.  Whatever, let him skulk if he wants.  </p><p>Cas tilts his head to the side.  It’s incredibly...well honestly it’s just cute.  “What is a chick novel?” </p><p>I chuckle a little.  “It’s uh, it’s just a book that girls normally read.  A romance story in this case.  It’s called Pride and Prejudice.  Sorry I don't have any other books with me.”  </p><p>“I am sure if you chose it the book will be highly enjoyable.”  He states with total conviction.  </p><p>I tilt my head slightly at him.  “Well thank you for the vote of confidence.” </p><p>I start at the beginning.  I think we make it through the first two chapters but eventually my eyes start to feel heavy and I must nod off.  Dean wakes me up in the morning.  He seems pissed, although honestly half the time that’s just his default. </p><p>We try to summon Rafael at the hospital but the poor man who is his vessel just sits there drooling in his wheelchair all day.  If that’s the fate Dean has to look forward to there is no way in hell we are letting that happen.</p><p>At the end of the day we drive back to the house we’ve been squatting in.  “Well that was a day I’ll never get back.”  Dean grumbles.  </p><p>“Wait!”  Cas shouts and tries to stop us from going further inside but it’s too late.  We see Rafael standing in the living room.  Bright electric blue wings zapping all over the place behind him.  The lightbulbs all shatter.  Dean mocks him, as per his usual style when dealing with something utterly terrifying.  Rafael threatens to bring him to Michael.  </p><p>“Well then, that sounds terrifying.  But I uh, hate to tell you, I’m not going anywhere with you.”  Dean says as he grabs a beer. </p><p>Rafael smiles at him.  “Surely you remember Zacariah giving you stomach cancer?  Well he doesn’t have anything close to my imagination.”  </p><p>“Yeah?  Well I bet you didn’t imagine one thing.  We knew you were coming you stupid son of a bitch.”  Dean tells him right before lighting his lighter and dropping it on the ground.  The holy oil circle that the angel is standing in burns bright.  </p><p>Rafael looks furious and powerful.  Dean finally starts to look a little nervous.  “Don’t look at me, it was his idea.”  He points to Cas.  We both glare back at him.  “Tattler” I mutter. </p><p>“Where is He?”  Cas asks over the thundering storm outside. </p><p>“Who?  God?  Didn’t you hear.  He’s dead.”  Rafael’s deep booming voice reverberates throughout the room. </p><p>“You’re lying.”  Cas states, voice slightly uncertain. </p><p>“Am I?  Do you remember the twentieth century?  Do you think the twenty-first is going any better?  Do you think god would have let that happen if He were still alive?” </p><p>“If God were dead, why have I returned?  Who saved me?  Brought me back?”  Cas asks.  </p><p>Rafael smiles at him.  “Did it ever occur to you that Lucifer brought you back?  Think about it.  He needs all the rebellious angels he can get.  You know it adds up.”  </p><p>“Let’s go.”  Cas says turning towards the door, putting his hand on my elbow.  </p><p>“Castiel.  I warn you.  If you leave me here.  I will find you.”  Rafael says ominously.  </p><p>Cast turns back to glance at Rafael one more time.  “Maybe one day.  But today you are my little bitch.”  </p><p>Dean and I look at Cas with pure pride shining in our eyes.  Dean turns to Rafael then points at Cas.  “What he said.”  Before following us out the door.  </p><p>Dean and I drive off a few hours before stopping at a random motel for the night.  Just to at least put some distance between us and the archangel.  Despite being completely exhausted I can’t go to sleep.  I realize that it’s Cas.  I can feel him.  I can feel how upset and devastated he is.  I glance over and see Dean passed out on the bed across from me.  Quietly as I can I put on my braces and grab my coat to take a walk outside.  Maybe some cold air will do the trick.  As I close the door I hear the soft sound of feathers.  Turning around Cas is standing there looking distraught and lost.  </p><p>“Oh, oh Cas.  I - I’m sorry about what Rafael said.  Don’t let him get in your head alright.”  I say walking towards his still form.  He doesn’t respond, just keeps staring despondently at the ground.  I sigh.  “You know I will be the first to tell you this crusade of yours is nuts, but I do know a little something about missing fathers.”  </p><p>He finally looks at me.  “What do you mean?” </p><p>“I mean, there were times when we were looking for our father when all logic said that he was dead.  Yet I knew in my heart of hearts that he was still alive.  I just knew it.  Who cares what some ninja turtle says Cas, what do you believe?”  </p><p>His gaze becomes more serious, more focused.  He reaches out his hand and pinches a piece of my hair between his index and middle finger, twisting it slightly.  The action is so small but intensely intimate at the same time.  “I believe he is alive.”  He whispers. </p><p>“Good.  Then you’re going to find him.  If anyone can pull off the impossible it’s you Cas.”  </p><p>He moves forward gazing down at me with those magnetic blue eyes.  They flicker down to my lips for just a moment, a fraction of a second really.  I feel my breath catch in my throat.  “Evalynn I never asked...why did - why did you kiss me?  Right before I died.”  </p><p>I stare up at him.  Unsure what he wants me to say.  “I don’t know.  It was just, just instinct I suppose?  Seemed like a good idea at the moment.”  I shrug lamely.  Embarrassment coloring my cheeks right now I’m sure.  </p><p>He looks like he’s mulling over my words.  “I see - did you enjoy it?”  He asks.  </p><p>I blink at him a couple of times.  He always asks the most unexpected yet deeply personal questions.  “Yeah, yeah I did...did you?” </p><p>“Yes.  It was the most pleasurable experience I’ve ever had.”  His brutal honesty floors me.  </p><p>I glare at him suspiciously.  “Are you yanking my chain right now?”</p><p>He looks incredibly confused.  “I’m, I’m not yanking anything.”  </p><p>I shake my head.  “Sorry, poor choice of words.”  </p><p>He seems nervous as he slowly traces my hairline from my temple to behind my ear, tucking my hair behind it.  My breath starts to catch in my throat as he leans his head towards me.  Oh my god.  I think he’s going to kiss me.  Suddenly I hear the door to our motel room open.  Startled, I turn myself around in a circle so fast I almost trip.  Dean is staring at me.  “What the hell are you doing?  Trying to freeze your ass off?” </p><p>I turn back around and Cas is gone.  Blinking rapidly I wonder if maybe I just dreamed that entire conversation.  Dean must see how disoriented I am because he comes out slowly and leads me back inside and tells me to go back to bed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>About a week later we rolled into Kansas City for a possible case.  Some nut job on the street in front of the motel gives us a weird look as we go inside.  As we get into the room Cas calls Dean and he puts it on speaker.  Cas and I haven’t seen each other since that strange twilight zone night.  I don’t really know what to think about it, what to think about him anymore.  I mean sure I might have a crush on the angel but what does that even mean?  Can angels even have...I don’t know, relationships?  God I sound pathetic and ridiculous.  </p><p>Castiel tells us he needs to meet now about a possible lead on the colt.  I have to cover up my laugh when he yells that the woman on the phone is telling him he’s almost out of minutes.  Dean grumbles that we need time to do human things, like sleep in this case.  I tell Cas to just give us four hours.  We just need a little time to recoup.  Dean hangs up the phone.  We both fall onto our beds and crash immediately.  </p><p>Next thing I know Dean is shaking me awake.  “Get up Evie something is wrong.”  His voice is filled with confusion and worry.  </p><p>I quickly get up and put on my leg braces.  Luckily I didn’t even bother changing into pj’s last night.  I’m still wearing the skirt and blouse from yesterday.  I didn’t even take my tights off.  </p><p>I go over to where Dean is standing by the window and see the entirety of Kansas City is in ruins.  Not just ruins.  It’s rusted over.  Devastated.  Like it’s been that way for a long time.  Dean and I stare at each other in pure shock.  “The fuck…”  Dean mumbles.  </p><p>We walk outside of the motel.  Our bags and all of our supplies are gone.  I feel naked with only a knife and lockpick hidden in my skirt.  I added the lockpick after the altercation with Cas.  We see a little girl huddled over in an alleyway.  We slowly approach but Dean puts his arm out and shoos me to stay behind him.  “Something’s not right.”  I whisper to Dean.  “Ya you think?”  </p><p>The little girl looks up and blood is dripping from her mouth.  She shrieks before lunging at Dean.  He flattens her knocking her out.  “What the hell?”  He mutters.  I shake his shoulder and point at the wall where Croatoan is graffitied on it.  “Crap.”  We both say in unison.  </p><p>Suddenly a group of people come around the corner, but they are definitely not human, at least not anymore.  “Run.”  Dean hisses at me grabbing my arm.  We both run as fast as we can.  Although Dean is practically dragging me I’m so much slower than him.  Then we reach a fence.  I stare up at my big brother in sheer terror.  I think this is it.  End of the line.  Then a spray of bullets comes from the other side of the fence and we see what looks like soldiers and tanks?  As the infected people are getting mowed down Dean grabs me and we find safety in an alleyway.  After sneaking around for a bit we find a conveniently located and conveniently fueled car and hotwire it.  It seems too easy.  The sign on the fence says ‘Croatoan virus hot zone, no entry, August 1, 2014’.  Okay this has to be a dream.  Definitely one hundred percent a vision.  That date is five years in the future.   </p><p>We both take out our cell phones but no service.  “Well that’s never a good sign.”  I mutter.  </p><p>“Croatoan virus reaches Australia.”  A familiar voice says from the back seat.  Zacariah.  </p><p>“I thought I smelled your stink on this back to the future crap.”  Dean growls at him.</p><p>“How did you find us?”  I ask.  There’s no way they got past Cas’s defenses right? </p><p>Zacariah lets out a heavy sigh.  “Afraid we had to tap some unorthodox resources - human informants.  We’ve been making inspirational visits to the fringier Christian groups.  They’ve been given your image and told to keep an eye out.”  </p><p>Dean nods his head, lips curling into a thin line.  “The bible freak outside the motel.  What he dropped a dime on us?” </p><p>“Onward Christian soldiers.”  He jokes.</p><p>“Okay well, good, you’ve gotten your jollies off.  Now send us back to our own damn time.”  Dean demands. </p><p>“Oh you’ll both get back, all in good time - I just want you two to marinate for a bit.” </p><p>“Marinate?”  I ask incredulously. </p><p>He holds up three fingers.  “Three days.  Three days for Dean to see where this course of action leads all of you.”  </p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?”  Dean questions him pissed off.</p><p>“It means your choices have consequences Dean.  This is what happens if you continue to say no to Michael.”  Then Zacariah is gone.  </p><p>We drive to Bobby’s house.  It looks even more run down than before.  His wheelchair is knocked over.  We find a picture though of Bobby, Cas, Dean, and me standing in front of a sign that reads Camp Chitaqua.  Cas’s arm is slung over my shoulder and I’m leaning into him, one of my hands on his chest.  We drive all night to get to the camp and sneak underneath the gate.  Dean pauses in front of a run down car.  “Oh, oh baby, what happened to you.”  He says forlorn.  I realize it’s the impala.  Wow, we really let it go.  I hear something rustling behind us.  Then Dean falls forward, knocked unconscious.  I turn around and see...another Dean.  My brain freezes.  Before I can even think to react he clocks me with the butt of his gun and it’s lights out. </p><p>I wake up and see Dean standing over me glaring.  I pull at my hand and realize I’m handcuffed to a radiator.  I glance over and see...Dean handcuffed to a ladder.  I snap my head back and forth between the two Dean’s.  “Oh shit.”  I grumble.  </p><p>“What the hell?”  The Dean I came here with, my Dean, past Dean I suppose mutters. </p><p>“I should be asking you that.  In fact, why don’t you give me one good reason why I shouldn’t gank both of you right here right now?”  Future Dean says. </p><p>Past Dean and I glance at each other.  “Because...you’d only be hurting yourself?”  He jokes.  Future Dean does not look the least bit amused. </p><p>“Look, we’re not shapeshifters.  We’re not demons.  We’re not anything.  Okay?”  I say.</p><p>Future Dean keeps putting together his gun.  “Yea I know.  I did the drill on you guys.  Silver, salt, holy water - nothing.  But you know what was funny?  Dean here had my exact same hidden lock pick, box cutter, switch blade that I carry.  You want to explain that Dean?  Oh and uh, the resemblance while you’re at it?” </p><p>“Zacariah.”  Is all past Dean says.  Future version stands up.  “What did you say?”</p><p>“We’re from the tail end of 2009.  Zacariah plucked us from our time and threw us five years into the future.”  Past Dean explains. </p><p>“Where is he?  I want to talk to him.”  Future Dean demands.  </p><p>“Zacariah?  We don’t know.  The dickwad bailed pretty quick after he gave us the lowdown.”  I reason with him. </p><p>He narrows his eyes slightly at me.  “Oh, you don’t know.”  </p><p>“No. She doesn’t. Lay off.”  Past Dean growls at him. </p><p>Future Dean leans down so he’s only a couple feet away from his past self.  “Okay then, if you’re really me you tell me something only I would know?” </p><p>Past Dean thinks for a second then smirks.  “Rhonda Hurley.  We were uh, nineteen.  She made us try on her pink satin panties.  And you know what?  We kind of liked of it.”  </p><p>Future Dean looks mildly impressed.  “Touche.” </p><p>I stare at both of them.  “Really you guys? Pink satin? Cute.”  </p><p>Future Dean looks at me and the faintest smile washes over his face, then it’s gone.  “So what Zach zapped you guys forwards to see how bad it gets?” </p><p>“I guess?  Croatoan virus right?  That’s their end game.”  Past Dean clarifies. </p><p>Future Dean nods.  “It’s efficient, it’s incurable, and it’s scary as hell.” </p><p>“What about Sam?”  I ask, confused why we haven’t seen him yet.  </p><p>Future Dean’s face hardens.  “Heavyweight showdown in Detroit.  From what I understand he didn’t make it.”</p><p>“You weren’t with him?”  Past Dean looks appalled. </p><p>Future Dean shakes his head.  “No.  We haven’t talked to Sam in - in hell five years.” </p><p>“We never tried to find him?”  I ask in bewilderment.</p><p>Future Dean glances at me.  “We had other people to worry about.” </p><p>Man, future Dean is a dick.  He keeps us both handcuffed in the cabin and leaves.  Past Dean smacks his head against the back of the ladder.  “Son of a bitch.”  </p><p>“Don’t get your pink satin panties in a twist.  I’ve got us covered as per usual.”  I smirk at him.  I pull out the lock pick hidden in my skirt line and undo both our handcuffs.  Before we leave the cabin I grab a hold of Dean’s arm.  “Wait...if future Dean is here.  Where the hell is future me?”  I see Dean’s jaw clench.  I think we both have a good idea of what that means.  “Maybe I should stick to the sidelines huh?  Might freak people out to see a dead girl walking.”  He nods and I skirt along the edge of camp while he goes in to find more information on what the hell is going on.  I pause when I see a cabin that looks familiar.  I don’t know how or why but I feel like I’ve been there before.  That I was happy there, content.  I walk up to the backdoor slowly.  Trying to be as quiet as possible I ease the screen door open.  I can feel my heart pounding in my ears.  I carefully step into the little cabin.  There are beads in a doorway.  I can see a figure on the other side.  I know that figure.  I step through the beads and see Cas sitting on the floor taking a hit out of a bong.  “CAS?”  I ask completely freaked.  </p><p>He stares at me like he’s seeing a ghost.  He let’s go of the bong and slowly stands up.  His hands are shaking as he moves towards me.  “Evie?  Is that...is that really you?  Am I dreaming right now?”  His hands cup my face.  He’s only a couple inches away as his blue eyes bore into mine.  A mixture of anguish and relief.  </p><p>I let out a breathy little laugh.  This is so strange.  “This uh, this isn’t a dream Cas.  Trust me.  I thought it was at first too, but...it’s not.”  </p><p>He inches just a touch closer.  We are practically breathing the same air.  He seems to be having some sort of revelation.  “You’re not really you.  You’re a different you.”  </p><p>“Zacariah...he found us in 2009 and flung us into the future.”  </p><p>“Us?”  </p><p>“Dean and I.”  I clarify.  </p><p>“Oh...I see.”  He says simply.  Castiel’s gaze moves from my eyes to stare at my lips. </p><p>This is all too much.  It's too strange.  “Cas...what, what happened to you?”</p><p>He pulls back a little with a wince when I say that.  “It’s hard to explain.”  </p><p>I put my hand on his arm to stop him from pulling away completely.  “Well try.”  </p><p>He pauses for the longest time.  I think that maybe he won’t answer but then he finally starts talking.  “You left and I - well I didn’t handle it well.”  He lets out a bitter laugh. </p><p>I feel my face pale.  “What do you mean left?  Like left, left?” </p><p>He shakes his head no.  “Not exactly.  Like I said it’s hard to explain.  Death walked the earth and about six months ago he - he left and he took all of the banshee’s with him.”</p><p>I feel my brown furrow.  “Left to where?” </p><p>“The veil.”  He whispers.  </p><p>I let out a trembling little breath.  “Okay, okay.  Alright um...I think I need to sit down now.”  </p><p>Cas helps me sit down on the bed then goes to grab some water.  I run my hand over the quilt and freeze.  Glancing down I realize it’s my quilt.  From my room at Bobby’s house.  “Why do you have my quilt?”  I ask Cas dazed.  He is sitting in front of me holding out the water bottle.  One of his hands resting on my knee as he stares at the floor.  “Just drink something first.”  He mumbles while running a hand through his messy hair.  He’s let his facial hair grow out a bit too.</p><p>I feel my fingers shake as I raise the bottle to my mouth.  Of all the things to completely start breaking down over about this apocalypse now version of the future, why is it Cas?  Why is it always Cas that makes my heart feel like a live-wire.  </p><p>The front door opens and Dean walks in, past Dean I’m pretty sure.  Cas bolts up like he was just doing something he shouldn’t have.  Dean gives Cas a confused once over.  “What are you a hippie?” </p><p>Cas smirks at him.  “You know, current you gave up on trying to label me last month.” </p><p>“Alright...well why don’t you strap on your angel wings and fly us back to our timeline.”  Dean says expectantly. </p><p>Cas starts laughing, almost manically.  “I wish I could just uh, strap on my wings, but sorry no dice.”  </p><p>“What are you stoned?”  Dean accuses finally noticing the bong on the floor. </p><p>Cas shrugs.  “Generally yes.”  </p><p>“What happened to you?”  Dean asks the same thing I did.</p><p>Cas glances over his shoulder at me then looks back to Dean.  “Life.” </p><p>We hear trucks moving outside.  Dean leaves the cabin in a huff.  I follow after him and Cas follows after me.  He is practically on top of me.  Future Dean shoots a man at point blank range as past Dean shouts to try and stop him.  I cover my mouth to stop the shriek from coming out.  Cas grabs onto my elbow and pulls me into his side.  All of the men in the truck stare at past Dean and me in shock, fear, and a tinge of anger.  I feel Castiel’s body tighten behind me and pull me even closer.  Future Dean comes stalking towards the three of us obviously furious.  He nods his head towards his cabin and we follow after him.  As soon as the door is closed he turns on us and I worry he might actually punch his past self in the face.  </p><p>The two Dean’s have it out with one another before finally settling down.  Future Dean whips his head around then glares at Cas and I.  I didn’t even realize how much I had curled up into his side as they were having a screaming a match.  My hand has a death grip on his shirt.  Castiel’s arm is around my waist.  I think past Dean is too freaked to notice.  Future Dean keeps glaring at us until Cas eventually drops his arm from around my waist.  Cas doesn’t move otherwise.  He finally tears his gaze away from us and goes to pour some glasses of whiskey.  I know past Dean, my Dean, certainly has his moments...but this future Dean is such a twisted warped version of him I can barely recognize my brother in the man.      </p><p>After we all take an awkward sip of whiskey.  Future Dean shows us the colt that he has been apparently tracking for the past five years.  He tells us we are heading out tonight at midnight to ice the devil.  A couple of other people from the camp join us to discuss the plan.  A woman who looks like she might stab future Dean asks how we’re going to find Lucifer. </p><p>“We don’t have to find Lucifer.  That demon we caught last week, he was one of the big guys entourage.  He knew.”  He answers her in a self-assured tone. </p><p>She scoffs.  “So a demon told you where Satan's gonna be and you just believe it?”</p><p>He gives a little smirk.  “Oh trust me he wasn’t lying.” </p><p>“And you know this how?”  I finally chime in.</p><p>Cas clears his throat.  “Our fearless leader, I’m afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth.”  Future Dean’s eyes narrow on Cas but he doesn’t say anything. </p><p>Past Dean speaks up instead.  “Torture?  We’re torturing again?  Oh, that’s great.  Classy.”  </p><p>Cas laughs which just makes future Dean glare harder.  “What?  I like past you.” </p><p>Future Dean stares down at the map instead.  His jaw ticks.  “Lucifer is here.”  He points at some point I cannot see.  “Now.  I know the block and I know the building.” </p><p>Cas glances at the map.  “Oh good, right in the middle of a hot zone.”  </p><p>Future Dean’s jaw ticks again.  “Yeah it’s crawling with croats.  Are you saying my plan is reckless?” </p><p>“Are you saying we uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and croats, and we shoot the devil?”  Cas proclaims with a slightly mocking edge to his voice. </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“Okay if you don’t like reckless, I could say insouciant maybe?”  Cas jokes at him.  </p><p>Future Dean side eyes Cas.  “Are you coming or not?” </p><p>“Of course, but why is past you coming?  I mean, he’s you five years ago so if something happens to him you’re gone right?”</p><p>Future Dean turns to look back at the map.  “They’re both coming.” </p><p>Cas stands up suddenly.  “No.  Absolutely not.  She is not going.” </p><p>Future Dean doesn’t say anything for a moment.  Then turns to the girl standing next to him and tells her to ready the grunts.  The girl still seems angry at him but follows orders and leaves the cabin.  He turns back to Cas and the look in his eye is murderous.  “You have no right.  I say she goes, she goes.  They both need to see this.”  </p><p>Cas stalks towards him until they are only a few inches apart.  “I have every right and I said no.  It’s too dangerous.  I won’t risk it.”  </p><p>Past Dean and I glance at each other completely bewildered by what the hell is going on here.  “Hey uh, me, you know Cas has got a point here.  I know we have Zach on our shoulder but -”  Future Dean cuts past one off.  “This is my show.  Not yours.  I make the decisions here.”  He smacks his hand down on the table to emphasize his point.  You could cut the tension in the room with a butter knife.  </p><p>Future Dean lets out a large sigh.  “Look, Cas, I know you’ve been struggling since - since Evie left.  Our Evie.  But that’s just it.  This isn’t our Evie.  This is just a past version of her, just like he is a past version of me.  Zach’s not going to let anything happen to them and they need to see this.”  Castiel’s breathing is still ragged.  His body is still tense.  It looks like he’s fuming.  “I said...no.”  His voice cracks on the last word.  </p><p>Future Dean suddenly grabs a hold of Cas and yanks him by the collar of his shirt.  “Stop acting like you are the only one who lost her!  I lost my sister!”  He roars at him.  </p><p>“And I lost my wife!”  Cas screams back into his face before slamming his hands into future Dean’s chest and sending him flying across the room to smash into the wall.  I stare at Cas stunned into silence.  Did he just say wife?  Then the pieces start to click together.  The quilt.  Why else would he have my quilt unless we lived together.  And they way he kept touching me so casually, like he had done it countless times before. </p><p>Cas turns around to look at me and it’s like I’m staring at a drowning man.  His mouth gapes open, like he’s struggling to find the right words.  “I - Evie, I…”  He lifts up his hand like he’s going to reach for me.  But past Dean comes over and puts an arm around me instead and starts pulling me towards the door.  “Listen, uh, it seems like you two need a moment.  Why don’t she and I go hang out at Chuck’s for a bit.”  He says while dragging me out of the cabin.</p><p>My body feels numb as Dean winds our way through the camp.  That can’t be right can it?  Maybe this is a dream, but even I don’t think I have the imagination to make up all of this.  Cas and I, married?  It’s just so surreal.  I mean he’s a freakin’ angel.  Somehow I don’t think that’s allowed.  That tiny voice in the back of my head mentions that he’s rebelled.  He’s not truly an angel anymore.  Not fully anyways. </p><p>Dean pulls me up onto presumably Chuck's porch but he doesn’t knock.  Instead he stares down at me with that serious look that always makes me feel about two feet tall.  “You want to tell me what’s been going on with you and Cas?” </p><p>“Nothing.”  I say defensively.  His head tilts to the side slightly.  “Wrong answer kid.  Try again.” </p><p>I let out a frustrated grunt.  “Dean, it’s nothing I swear, okay?  We are in apocalypse land right now.  You know that futures can hold multiple possibilities.  I suppose this is just one of them.”  </p><p>He narrows his eyes suspiciously at me.  “Yeah?  Well guess what kid I know you.  And I know when you’re holding something back.” </p><p>“I’m not holding anything back.”  I growl at him.  There is no way in hell I’m copping to the one time Cas and I kissed for a second, not even a second, like half a second.     </p><p>He raises his eyebrows at me.  “Oh really?  So that whole thing where you freaked out about me taking Cas out for the night, where you practically bit my head off, I’m just imagining things then?  I just imagined you reading to Cas for two hours straight?  I just imagined all of the awkward glances he constantly sends your way?”  </p><p>“You’re making a big deal out of nothing!  He’s my guardian angel Dean, he’s supposed to care about me.  Sue me for caring about him too!”  I yell at him.  </p><p>“Uh-huh and what does caring about him mean?  What exactly does that encompass?” </p><p>“IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING!”  My voice shreds two octaves higher.  </p><p>Chuck opens the door.  “Uh, hi guys...you uh, wanna maybe come inside?”  </p><p>I say yes at the same time that Dean says no.  I glare at him and he rolls his eyes but follows me inside anyways.  </p><p>“Evie you tell me the truth right now or so help me god…”</p><p>I start laughing, genuinely laughing.  “Or what Dean!  We aren’t even in our own time right now!  This entire argument is insane.  We are literally arguing about a future that for all we know may not even exist anymore purely because we’ve seen it!”</p><p>I swear if his jaw grinds any tighter it will turn to dust.  “You still aren’t answering me.  What is going on between you and Cas in our time?”  </p><p>I scoff at him.  “I already told you!  Multiple times in fact, I’ve told you nothing is happening!”  I can feel tears start welling in my eyes.  Why the hell won’t he just drop this?  </p><p>“Yeah well, YOU’RE LYING!” </p><p>The front door slams open suddenly and future Dean is standing there with Cas and a few other people.  They’re all holding guns and look like they’re ready to go hunting.  “You two, we’re leaving now.”  Future Dean says with an eerie calm to his voice.  “Hold on there chucklehead we’re in the middle of something.”  My Dean snaps at him.  </p><p>“Either you come with us voluntarily or we drag you out.  Your choice.”  He says with a shrug like he couldn’t care less.</p><p>I stomp away from my Dean and head out of the door.  Cas falls in step next to me.  He won’t look me in the eye though.  This is great, just great.  As we get closer to the trucks Cas takes a hold of my arm and steers me towards a smaller one.  The truck seems familiar despite me having never seen it before.  “It’s mine.  In case you’re wondering.”  Cas comments gruffly answering my question before I even say it.  </p><p>I glance back and see the two Dean’s talking to each other.  One of them, my Dean, tries to come over to me but the other one grips his shoulder and shoves him into the back of a military looking truck.  Future Dean stares at me and for a moment I see the grief and loss in his eyes.  Then it’s gone and he hops into the back of the truck where he shoved his younger self. </p><p>Cas opens his trunk and pulls out a semi-automatic.  It’s an AR-15 I think.  I’ve only used one in a shooting range once before.  Sawed off rifles are generally the gun of choice in my line of work.  Cas hands it over to me.  “This is uh, this is yours I guess.”  </p><p>I take it but quirk an eyebrow at him.  “You’re telling me I actually use this thing?” </p><p>He smiles fondly down at the gun.  “Yeah...it was actually your favorite one.”</p><p>“Hmm, future me is kind of a badass.”  I smile ruefully at him.  </p><p>He chuckles.  “Oh god, you have no idea.” </p><p>Our eyes finally meet.  When he looks at me I can feel it.  Love.  Pure grade full proof love.  I never knew what it was like to have someone look at you that way before.  It’s, I mean it’s practically indescribable.  It’s raw and unnerving and so, so much more than the butterflies in my stomach that I’ve gotten in the past.  </p><p>“We should um, we should probably get going.”  He says holding out his hand.  I take it and he helps me into the passenger side of the truck. </p><p>We sit in silence for a few minutes.  I think both unsure of what to say.  This is uncharted territory to say the least.  Finally I can’t take it anymore.  “So...when uh, when did we start you know - dating I guess?” </p><p>He smiles over at me for a second before looking back at the road.  “I suppose not much past where you are from in time.  We didn’t exactly have a, a set date.  It was more like a culmination of events.  Eventually we just sort of looked up and realized that we were already together.”  </p><p>“Oh...so then when did we get married?”  I can’t help myself from asking. </p><p>His smile gets bigger.  “Three years ago.”  He says softly. </p><p>“Wow.  Never took myself for the marrying type.”  I comment honestly.  I truly never saw it in the cards for me.  It always just seemed so pointless.  I mean what, I marry a human guy and watch as he gets old and wastes away while I’m stuck at twenty eternally?  Or well, stuck at twenty at least until something kills me.  But then I glance at Cas and realize that he is probably in the same boat.  </p><p>He laughs a little.  “Yeah, yeah, you mentioned that a couple of times.”  </p><p>I ponder the question and decide to go for it.  I mean hell, we’re all going on another suicide mission might as well ask.  “Do you age Cas?  I mean, do you have to worry about your time running out on earth?” </p><p>He smirks at me.  “You asked me something similar a very long time ago.  You were - were worried about that.  Me passing one day.  I told you I would always be here, always.  I don’t age.  Even now when I’m more man than angel I don’t age.” </p><p>My eyes crinkle as I look at him.  “So you’ve still got a little bit of angel juice in you then, huh?”</p><p>He shrugs.  “Just a touch.  Certain things my grace will always provide.  Strength, speed, agility...never aging.  I heal faster than most but I still remember getting laid up for a week when I broke my foot last year.  You told me to stop whining about.”</p><p>“Hmmm, sounds like something I would say.”  </p><p>It’s strange talking to this Cas.  Not just talking to him about me, or future me I guess, but just talking to him in general.  He acts so, so human.  There’s still the odd quirk here and there; like how he tilts his head when he’s confused.  Overall though he just seems so profoundly sad.  He glances over at me every couple of seconds like he’s afraid I’ve already disappeared.  I notice he’s wearing a necklace with two silver bands on it.  I ask if those are our wedding rings.  He gives me a jerky nod before tucking them back into his shirt.  </p><p>After several hours we pull up to a stop in a large field nearby by some old run down building.  We pull the truck over and it seems almost a little too quiet.  I can hear the rest of the convoy moving around, people shouting out things at each other, but there’s no enemy, no croat, no demon attack, nothing.  Cas opens the passenger door and puts his hands on my hips to help me down out of the high bed truck.  He does it like we’ve done this a thousand times before.  I move to the side a little as he closes the door.  Then Cas turns to me and I notice how very close he is standing.  I’m trapped between him and the truck.  He puts his arms out on either side of me and closes his eyes, his face seems contorted in pain.  I feel frozen to the spot, unsure what is happening, all I know is he is only a couple inches away from me.  My trembling hand reaches up and ever so gingerly cups the side of his face.  He winces slightly when I touch him before his eyes snap open and I see the drowning man again.  I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to run my fingers through his hair so I do.  It’s softer than I imagined it would be.  Cas seems to melt an inch closer when I do that.  He lets out almost a pained grunt as he closes his eyes again.  “Evie...would you let me kiss you?  Call it a dead man’s last request.” </p><p>My hand suddenly stops carding through his hair.  I can feel a flush working it’s way from my cheeks all the way down to the tips of my toes.  It’s so very reminiscent of the last time I saw Cas and when he almost...before my brain can overthink it I already hear myself whispering yes. </p><p>His hooded gaze watches me for only a second.  Then faster than the blink of an eye he closes the last remaining couple of inches between us.  Pushing his body flush against mine so I’m pinned to the car.  He caresses the back of my neck, tilits my head up, and kisses me.  It isn’t tender or gentle.  His mouth is hard and desperate on mine.  It’s all consuming.  I hear myself let out the tiniest gasp as he lips pull back for just a heartbeat.  I can feel him let out a ragged breath.  Then his mouth is on mine again only he’s more insistent.  Taking advantage of my gasp he pushes his tongue into my mouth.  I can hear myself let out a surprised whimper but he swallows it down.  His hand on the back of my neck runs further into my hair and tightens slightly.  I can feel his other large searing hand on my waist, slowly inching up over my ribs.  He kisses me with the kind of passion you normally only read about in books, or watch on a movie.  His lips, tongue, body, practically trying to mold themselves onto mine.  My hands are trapped between our chests and all I can do is grip tightly onto his shirt for dear life as my poor heart is threatening to run completely off the rails.  My brain has liquified to mush.  All I can think about is him, him touching me, and how I just want more of it.  </p><p>Then we hear a loud banging noise and our lips tear apart.  It takes a few moments to recognize that wasn’t a gun, it was just someone opening their truck bed nearby.  Blue eyes sear into mine, both of our chests are heaving like we just ran a mile.  I can still feel the fabric of his shirt fisted underneath my fingers.  His hand is still gripping my hair.  I can hear someone calling his name and footsteps coming towards us.  Smiling slightly like we’ve been here before he reaches down and presses his lips against mine once more, only this time it is more tender.  Almost like the first time I kissed him.  It’s only for a second, less than a second.  Then he pulls back and pushes himself off of me, my fingers let go of his shirt, and he takes a couple steps back right as Dean rounds the corner.  Both Dean’s I realize.  My Dean shoves Cas out of the way and grabs my arm muttering ‘unbelievable’ under his breath.  </p><p>We all rejoin the group and future Dean lays out his plan.  And his plan is basically suicide.  The man is lying through his teeth.  My Dean glances at me.  We pull him off to the side for a moment to confront him.  Boy he is really fond of knocking people out with the butt of this gun.  Someone is shaking me as I come to.  I blink my eyes open a couple of times and see Dean, my Dean, standing over me.  I reach up and rub my temple.  Damn, that is going to leave a bruise.  Dean helps me up.  We crouch down on reflex when we hear gunfire going off.  Then like the suicidal morons we are we start running towards it.  Thunder is rumbling overhead, lightning flashes.  We turn the corner just in time to watch Sam snap future Dean’s neck with the heel of his boot.  I cover my mouth with my hand.  This is too much, this is all too much.  I want to wake up, please let me wake up. </p><p>Sam slowly turns around, only when I look in his eyes it’s not Sam.  It’s Lucifer.  I can tell it’s Lucifer.  My vision came true.  He is wearing a pristine white suit and stares at us like we’re some mildly amusing oddity at a carnival.  “Oh.  Hello Dean, Evalynn.”</p><p>I think we are both stunned into silence.  </p><p>“Aren’t you a surprise.”  Lucifer says, although he certainly doesn’t seem surprised in the slightest.  “You’ve come all this way to see this haven’t you?”</p><p>Dean finally takes a step forward.  “Well, go ahead.  Kill me.” </p><p>“Kill you?”  Lucifer glances back at the other’s Dean’s dead body lying on the ground.  “Don’t you think that would be a little...redundant?” </p><p>Lucifer sighs.  “‘I’m sorry.  It must be painful, speaking to me in this - shape.  But it had to be your brother.  It had to be.”</p><p>Lucifer reaches forwards as if he might try and touch us.  Dean’s hand still has a death grip on my forearm as we quickly take a step back.  “You don’t have to be afraid of me.  Neither of you do.  What do you think I’m going to do?”  </p><p>“I don’t know, maybe deep fry the planet.”  I comment hoping my words sound more convicted than they really are but I can hear my voice is trembling.  Lucifer examines a rose as he turns away from us slightly.  “Why would I do that?  Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing?  The last true perfect handiwork of god?”  </p><p>Lucifer turns back towards us as if he is expecting an answer.  Dean and I glance at each other out of the corner of our eyes furtively, but can’t think of anything to say.  </p><p>A knowing grin splits Lucifer’s face.  “Augh.  There it is!  I was waiting for that.  You know, your brother would never tell you this.  Would never even admit it to himself.  But he was always a little envious of you two.  That deep loyal unbreakable bond in each other you share.  He was disappointed in you Dean, disappointed that when he left you wouldn’t go after him.  Deep down he knew that if Evalynn ever left you would go after her, always, without hesitation, regardless of anything she ever did.  You would still go after her but not Sam.  Oh he knew.”</p><p>“Don’t.  Don’t you dare pretend to know, pretend to understand the first thing about our family.”  I somehow manage to get out as I feel a single tear roll down my cheek. </p><p>Lucifer sighs and looks at me as if I am a small child that doesn’t understand.  “Oh Evalynn, if only you knew how much Sam needed you.  You, the only person who could understand what it meant to not be truly human.  To have a deep darkness inside that haunts them...I understand your family better than you will ever know.”</p><p>After a long moment of silence Lucifer keeps going.  “You ever hear the story of how I fell from grace?”  </p><p>“Oh good god.  You’re not going to tell us a bedtime story are you?  My stomach’s almost out of bile.”  Dean mocks him.  </p><p>Lucifer ignores the insult.  “You know why god cast me down?  Because I loved him.  More than anything.  And then god created...you.  The little hairless apes.  Then he asked all of us to bow down before you - to love you more than him.  And I said ‘father I can’t, these human beings are flawed, murderous.’  For that, god had Michael cast me into hell.  My own brother.  Now tell me, does the punishment fit the crime?  Especially when I was right?” </p><p>Dean glares at him like he’s the scum of the earth.  “You’re not fooling me you know that?  With this sympathy for the devil crap?  I know what you are.  You’re the same brand of cockroach I’ve been squashing my whole life.  An ugly, evil, belly-to-the-ground, supernatural piece of crap.  The only difference between them and you is the size of your ego.”  He finishes with a mixture or rage and despair in his voice.  </p><p>“I like the two of you.  I get what the other angels see in you.  Goodbye, we’ll meet again soon.”  Lucifer says and turns to walk away.  </p><p>“You better kill me now!”  Dean yells at him. </p><p>Lucifer turns back around with a mildly perturbed expression on his face.  “Pardon?” </p><p>“You better kill me now or I swear, I will find a way to kill you.  I won’t stop.”  </p><p>That patronizing look from earlier returns to Lucifer’s face.  “I know you won’t.  I know you won’t say yes to Michael either.  And I know neither of you will kill Sam.  Whatever you do, we will always end up here.  Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up - here.  I win.  So I win.” </p><p>“You’re wrong.”  I say, my voice finally holding steady.  </p><p>Lucifer smirks at me.  “I know your track record with changing the destiny of your visions Evalynn.  I think we both know I’m right.”  He glances over at Dean.  “See you in five years Dean.”  Thunder and lightning clap over head then Lucifer is gone.  </p><p>Zacariah appears behind us and touches each of our foreheads with two fingers.  Suddenly we are standing back in our motel room in Kansas City.  Just the way it was before we fell asleep back in 2009.  Zacariah is standing in front of us, leaning against the kitchen sink.  </p><p>“Oh, well if it isn’t the Christmas ghost of screw you.”  Dean mouths off. </p><p>“Enough.  Dean, enough.  You saw it right?  You saw what happens.  You’re the only person who can prove the devil wrong.  Just say yes.”  </p><p>Dean glares at him.  “How do I know this isn’t one of your tricks?  Some angel hocus pocus?”  </p><p>“The time for tricks is over Dean.  Say yes and we can strike.  Before Lucifer gets to Sam.  Before billions die.  Before Evalynn gets whisked away to the veil.”  Zacariah says while slowly walking towards us.  </p><p>I worry for a moment that Dean might actually be considering this.  “Nah.”  He says instead.  I feel a grin twitch at the corner of my mouth. </p><p>“Nah?  You’re telling me you haven’t learned your lesson?”</p><p>“Oh I learned my lesson alright.  Just not the one you were trying to teach me.”  Dean replies. </p><p>Zacariah’s eyes go wide with fury.  “Well I’ll just have to teach it again!  Because I’ve got you now boy, and I’m never letting you -”</p><p>Then we are standing on the side of a wet highway with a single street lamp to illuminate the darkness.  Cas is standing underneath it.  Before I can think too hard about it I run up and hug him.  I pull back a little to peer up at him.  “Nice timing Cas!”  </p><p>The beginnings of a smile seem to be pulling at the corner of his bow shaped lips.  “We had an appointment.”  He says.  I finally let him go and let out a laugh.  Thank god our Cas is back.  </p><p>Dean walks up and nudges me to the side.  I have a feeling our previous blow out fight isn’t over yet, but we can get back to that another time.  There are more pressing matters at hand, that’s for damn sure.  Dean grabs a hold of Castiel's shoulder and points a finger at him very seriously.  “Don’t ever change.”  </p><p>Cas brings us the impala and all of our crap before leaving.  I realize that it’s just Dean and I alone again.  “Dean I - can we call Sam?”</p><p>Dean smiles slightly.  “I was thinking it was about damn time we did.”</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After we pick Sam up and have our awkward chick flick moment we spend the next three weeks fruitlessly searching for the colt and have absolutely zero leads to show for it.  Our entire three musketeers dynamic is off, it has been for a while now but it’s even more so than usual.  We told Sam the cut and dry version of what happened when we went to 2014.  Dean thankfully doesn’t bring up Cas and I don’t either.  That’s still one large can of worms with him I don’t wanna touch with a ten foot pole.  Ever since we came back from there I can’t help but mull over Lucifer’s words.  I feel like maybe he had a point.  I always felt I was the odd man out of our group.  I was the sister, the half-sibling, the not-quite-human.  But ever since Lucifer put the thought in my head I can’t stop myself from turning it over.  I mean...I know Dean and I have always been close but I never figured that bothered Sam.  I never thought that maybe he considered himself the odd man out instead.  Lucifer did get one thing right about Dean though.  I do know in my heart of heart that he would find me if I ever tried to leave; regardless of what was going on he would never let me go.  Not the way he let’s Sam go.  </p><p>Our next couple of hunts don’t exactly help matters.  Dean bosses us around like we’re five years old again.  I wasn’t the one who technically started the freaking apocalypse yet somehow he acts just as patronizing with me as he does with Sam.  The more time I spend around Sam the more I think about what Lucifer said, about how Sam wants someone to understand him.  I don’t even know how I would broach something like that with him.  I guess...I don’t know I guess it will just come in it’s own time.  </p><p>We catch a case in Wellington, Ohio.  It becomes fairly obvious after the widow tells us her husband was killed by the incredible hulk and we find candy wrappers at the crime scene; this is the trickster’s work.  Sam has the brilliant idea of negotiating with the trickster to try and get him to help us.  I frown and I notice Dean looks just as unconvinced as I do.  We overhear word of a strange murder on our police radio and head to the warehouse, but when we get there it’s just us.  “Well this isn’t suspicious at all.”  I grumble.  We each grab a wooden stake and a flashlight.</p><p>I step through the warehouse door and into a dark forest, alone.  I spin around wildly but my brothers are gone.  Shit, the trickster separated us.  I let out a frustrated yell.  Huh...this is going to be harder than we thought.  I glance down and notice there is a faint trail in front of me.  I guess he wants me to follow it?  I keep my stake held high in case that bastard shows up.  Cautiously I make my way down the trail.  The forest seems to be getting darker and darker the deeper I go.  It’s eerily quiet.  No birds chirping, no squirrels rustling.  Just as I start to worry I see a faint light up ahead.  I speed up a little to get there faster.  As I get closer I realize the light is coming from a cottage.  How very brother’s grimm.  The closer I get I realize I’ve seen this cottage before.  Is this...is this the cottage from snow white?  It literally looks straight out of the movie.  Little stream with a bridge across it and everything.  How the hell did he know that was my favorite movie as a kid?  A trickster can’t read minds.  This is bazaar even for him.  </p><p>I nervously roll the stake in my hand and glance around.  It doesn’t seem like there’s anywhere else to go.  It’s so dark I can barely see anything besides the cabin.  I approach the circular door and open it slowly, stake at the ready.  I lower the stake immediately when I see who is sitting on the chair next to the fireplace.  It’s Castiel, although he looks a little worse for wear.  There’s a cut across his nose and a few other bruises on his face.  His hair looks disheveled and his tie is even looser than normal.  </p><p>“Cas!”  I run inside and fling my arms around him.  God I’ve been doing that a lot recently.  I feel him hesitantly wrap his arms around me as well, pulling me a bit closer.  “Good god I’m happy to see you.”  I mumble into his trench coat.</p><p>I finally let go of him and take a small step back.  He stares down at me frowning.  “We’re in grave danger here.  I came looking for you and your brothers.  You’ve been missing for days.”  </p><p>“Days?  That can’t be right.  I’ve only been in this forest for maybe an hour or two.”  </p><p>Cas glances around the cabin worried.  “The time in here is being warped.” </p><p>“That...that’s not possible.  A trickster can’t do that can they?”</p><p>He locks his eyes on mine.  “This is no trickster.  This is the work of my brother Gabriel.  The archangel.”  </p><p>I swallow nervously.  “Great, just great, another archangel.”  </p><p>Cas shakes his head seemingly frustrated.  “I do not understand.  Gabriel left hundreds of years ago.  What is he doing now?”  </p><p>“Wait he left?  Like left heaven kind of left?”  </p><p>Cas nods at me.  “Yes, but no one talks about it.  I never knew why.  It was above my station.”  </p><p>Just as I’m chewing on that piece of information the man I thought was a trickster pops into the room.  “Hey guys!  Aw shucks don’t you two look cozy by the fire?  Should I come back later Cas?”  He asks while wiggling his eyebrows at us.</p><p>Cas marches up to him.  “What are you doing with the Winchesters, Gabriel?”</p><p>He rolls his eyes then throws his arms up in the air.  “Relax Cas!  I’m just playing a little game with the boys.  Plus I’m giving you some much needed alone time with a certain banshee.  Proww.  Good taste.”  He winks at him.</p><p>“This is not amusing Gabriel.  Release us all.  Now.”  Cas says in that deep voice of his. </p><p>“Hmmm, how about no?  Listen, buddy, I’ll let you all go when it’s time.  Just kick back and have fun for once.  Come on Cas, I even made it easy for ya.  I put you in her favourite childhood movie.  Ladies love this kind of crap.”  Gabriel fake whispers behind one of his hands.  </p><p>“Hey asshole I’m standing right here!”  I hiss at him.</p><p>He glances at me over Castiel’s shoulder.  “We’ll be with you in a minute princess, grown ups are talking.”  </p><p>“I said release us!  Now!”  Castiel’s voice booms out as he moves to try and strike Gabriel.  The archangel flings him across the room with ease.  </p><p>“Now, now, now, Cas you and the little Mrs. here have a lesson to learn in all of this too.”  He chides.  I run over to Cas and help him up.  “Why exactly do you think I put you both here?  If you two would pull your heads out of your ass you would see it.  There’s nothing you can do to stop destiny.  Might as well get off the train to apocalypse town now and save yourselves.  Just the two of you together...forever, the way it was meant to be.”  Then he vanishes.  </p><p>We spend the next few hours trying to find a way out of this weird alternate disneyverse.  Cas can’t transport in here.  He tries every spell he can think of to break it to no avail.  It’s stupid but I figure it’s at least worth a shot trying to walk back on the path I took to get here.  When we go outside though the path is gone.  We try walking into the woods anyways but no matter what direction we go we end up walking right back to the cabin.  It’s like this place is set on a loop or something.  I lie down on the floor feeling utterly useless.  It doesn’t matter what we do, or what we try, we just end up right back where we started.  This damn cottage.</p><p>Cas tilts his head at me.  “Can I ask why you are on the floor?  It does not appear comfortable.” </p><p>“Because Cas, this is what you do when you give up.”  </p><p>He seems to be contemplating something.  Then he comes over and grabs my forearms, pulling me up off the floor.  “I am not allowing you to give up Evie.”  </p><p>I glare at him slightly.  “You have any other bright ideas, I'm all ears.  Otherwise I’m going back on the floor.”  </p><p>“I...do not have any other ideas.”  He frowns.  “Great, me neither.”  I stomp away and throw myself down onto the couch instead.  Cas just keeps standing there staring at me awkwardly.  </p><p>I pinch the bridge of my nose before running my hand up over my forehead and through my hair.  “Cas, come and sit down.  You’re making me nervous.”  He sits on the couch next to me.  </p><p>“What, what do we do then?”  He asks.  </p><p>I shrug.  “Wait for Gabriel to come back.  I mean, he’s not going to keep us in this box forever.  If we can figure out what the hell he wants maybe we can negotiate.”  </p><p>Cas sighs.  “Gabriel is not one you want to negotiate with.  He always finds a way to get what he wants in the end.”  </p><p>“Well...it’s not like we have any other options.”  </p><p>Cas looks a little uncomfortable.  “I suppose that’s true.  What do we do while we wait?” </p><p>I glance around the room and see a large shelf full of books and various games.  “Have you ever played cards?”  </p><p>He stares at me mildly affronted.  “Playing cards is a sin Evie.”  </p><p>I roll my eyes at him fondly.  “I don’t mean gambling card games Cas.  We can play Go Fish or something.  It’s sin free I promise.  Cross my heart.”   I say while drawing a cross over my chest with my finger.  </p><p>He picks up Go Fish quickly enough, then War, then Rummy.  Cas seems to be enjoying himself.  Although he doesn’t understand why the games are named so since “they don’t have anything to do with Fish or War.”  That gets me to laugh.  It feels like we’ve been doing this for a few hours but it might be a few days, who knows when we’re in archangel land.  This has been the most fun I’ve had in...god in a such a long time I can’t even remember.  With the apocalypse finally on our doorstep it’s not like we get much time to kick back and have a beer.  There’s something oddly familiar about this.  Sitting here playing, talking, laughing with Cas.  </p><p>“Evalynn, I have been wondering...what happened to me in the future?  You never told me what I was like in 2014.”  Thinking about future Cas reminds me of that random last minute desperate kiss we shared.  It makes my cheeks flush.  I squirm a little in my seat.  “You were um, you were different.”  </p><p>“Hmm, Dean mentioned that I was not exactly an angel anymore.  That the world was cut off from heaven.  I am simply curious; what was I like?  When I wasn’t really an angel?” </p><p>I clear my throat.  “Umm, you were very human.  Still had a few celestial quirks, but you uh, you found a way to fit in.  You were sad though.”</p><p>He stares at me confused.  Crap, why did I just say that last part.  “I was sad?  About not being an angel anymore?”  Cas asks.  </p><p>I keep my gaze fixed on the cards.  “Not exactly...you uh, you lost someone and didn’t handle it very well.”  I try to keep it vague.</p><p>“Oh...who did I lose?”  </p><p>I let out a nervous exhale.  “It, it doesn’t matter.” </p><p>I peer up at him and he looks overwhelmingly concerned.  “I would like to know Evie, please?”</p><p>Staring back down at my cards I fiddle with the edges of them.  “Umm...well I, I died I guess.  Sort of.  When Death rose they took me to the veil.”</p><p>Daring to look up at him again his eyes lock onto mine.  Shock and fury rolling off of him.  I shrink back into my chair.  “Death?  He took you?  When?” </p><p>“I don’t know Cas...sometime in 2014.”  </p><p>His cards incinerate in his hands, his body shaking.  He stands up and starts pacing around the room.  Bewildered by his sudden display of emotion I get up and walk over to him cautiously.  “Cas, Cas it’s okay -”  </p><p>“IT’S NOT OKAY!”  His eyes blazing with a blue white fire behind them.  I jump a little and take a step back.  His face falls.  “I...I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to frighten you.”  He closes his eyes, taking large ragged breaths.  </p><p>I clench and unclench my fists, then cautiously start towards him again.  I place my hand in his and give it a gentle squeeze.  “If there is one thing I’ve learned from being a banshee - there’s no point in worrying about the future.  All we can do is change what we can in the present and hope for the best.”</p><p>Cas grips onto me tighter.  He stares down at our joined hands like they’re a lifeline.  “I will not let this future happen.  I am your guardian Evie.  I promise I will not let this come to pass.” </p><p>I give him a sad smile.  I don’t know if it’s a part of me stuck in the future, thinking about the Cas who looked at me with pure love in his eyes, but I feel my heart breaking for the angel standing in front of me.  He raises his free hand and caresses the side of my face.  His thumb lightly runs over my cheekbone.  I’m a little surprised at first, but then I tilt my head further into his large warm hand.  “That is a very kind thing for you to say Cas.”  I whisper.  I already know it doesn’t matter, not really, nothing I do matters when it comes to the future.  It will be whatever it’s going to be at this point and there’s nothing any of us can do to stop that.  </p><p>Then we are standing in an old rundown warehouse.  I glance over and Sam and Dean are staring at us.  Gabriel is trapped in a ring of holy fire.  Cas quickly retracts his hand.  I wince slightly at Dean’s expression.  I have a feeling that argument we’ve been putting off for the past month is going to be rearing its ugly head very soon.  </p><p>“You two alright?”  Sam asks.</p><p>“We’re fine.”  I mumble in embarrassment. </p><p>“Hello Gabriel.”  Cas says in a rather seething tone. </p><p>“Hey, bro.  How’s the search for daddy going?  Let me guess, awful?”  He looks at Cas like he’s an idiot.  Obviously we just stepped into the middle of something.  Cas glares back.  </p><p>“Okay, we’re outta here.  Come on you guys.”  Dean grunts at us.  Cas and I follow after him to the door.  </p><p>“Uh, okay.  Guys?  What are you just gonna leave me here?”  Gabriel says with an edge of panic to his voice.  </p><p>Dean stops at the door and turns around.  “No.  We’re not.  Because we don’t screw with people the way you do.  And for the record, this isn’t about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can’t be stopped.  This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family!”  Dean pulls the fire alarm as we all walk out, leaving behind a wet and uncertain Gabriel.</p><p>Dean sends Sam out to get dinner.  It’s just me and him in the crappy motel room.  I sit in one of the chairs and fiddle with my skirt.  Dean paces back and forth across the narrow room.  I can feel my panic level rising, practically screaming danger Will Robsinson, danger.  Finally he stops and faces me, running a weary hand over his scruffy cheek.  “Did Cas, I mean, he didn’t try anything with you did he?”</p><p>That wasn’t exactly where I was expecting this conversation to be going.  I was expecting a lot more screaming.  I peer up at him confused.  “No.  Of course not!  No, he was just upset.”  </p><p>His eyes seem to darken.  “Upset, right...well uh, just tell me if he ever tries anything with you okay?”  He turns around stiffly and walks out the door, grumbling about grabbing a soda.</p><p>What the hell was that?</p>
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<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>DEAN</p><p>I slam the door as I walk out of the motel room.  I knew something was going on, I knew it, that fucking creep.  I storm to the end of the motel near the ice machine and pull out my phone and call Cas.  This is long overdue.  I should have known.  The second my suspicions were up I should have snuffed it out.  </p><p>“Hello Dean.”  His voice crackles over the phone. </p><p>“I’m at the mountain springs motel Colorado standing outside the front of the lobby.” </p><p>“I will be there immediately.”  He replies in that perfunctory tone of his. </p><p>Then Cas is standing in front of me.  Looking at me expectantly.  “Why did you need to see me?”  He asks. </p><p>I take a step closer to him.  “You mind telling me just what the hell you think you’re doing with my little sister?”  I snarl. </p><p>His eyebrows furrowed together.  “What I’m doing with her?  Protecting her?”  </p><p>I grab onto the edges of his trenchcoat and try to shove him away but it’s about as useless as shoving at a brick wall.  “Drop the guardian angel bullshit Cas.  What do you like her or something, huh?  I saw you today.  I saw you touching her.”</p><p>He looks down at the ground and seems almost embarrassed.  Good he should be.  His silence just adds to my growing anger.  “I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking Cas, frankly I don’t want to know, all I want is for you to promise me you won’t ever touch her like that again.  She’s a kid Cas and you’re some ancient being.  It’s wrong.” </p><p>Cas finally looks at me.  “I will never harm her Dean.  I promise.”  </p><p>I roll my eyes at him.  It’s like talking to a robot sometimes.  “I’m sure you don’t see it as harmful but what you’re doing with her.  What you are trying to do with her.  It’s bad and it will hurt her.  You’re taking advantage of her, she doesn’t know any better.”  </p><p>He still stares at me confused.  “I do not understand what you think I am trying to do.”  </p><p>I let out a deep angry exhale.  “I mean that you're trying to get in my sister’s pants you asshole!”</p><p>He finally seems to realize what I am saying.  He looks affronted.  “I would never - I wouldn’t ever disgrace Evie in such a way.  I would never dishonor my charge like that.”  </p><p>That gets me to calm down a bit, but only a little.  “You know if you were anyone else I would have decked you by this point.  You promise me, promise you will never do that.”  </p><p>He nods his head yes.  “Of course Dean.  I promise.”  The angel says before disappearing. </p><p>I can feel my lips purse as I take a few more stuttering breaths.  At least that conversation is out of the way however awkward it might have been.  After everything he has done for us, for me, Cas will always be a friend but that doesn’t give him the right to...to have my sister.  I didn’t give the strange connection they had much thought before Zacariah flung us into the future.  Before I saw that version of Cas, the version who was her husband, who looked at her like she was everything to him.  It didn’t just shock me it made me downright terrified.  The thought of, of losing her to someone else.  It’s always been her and me.  Regardless of whatever crap was going on with Sam or with dad she always stuck by my side.  Evie can’t...she shouldn’t be with him, with someone like Cas.  They’re not even the same species for fucks sake.  But the way she looks at him sometimes, the way she talks about him, the way she defends him so vehemently.  I think she’s gotta have some kind of crush on him.  I get it, I do, he’s the only man outside of our family that she’s ever really known.  It’s not exactly like we’ve got a large social network of friends in this life.  Hell outside of Bobby, Ellen, and Joe we don’t really have anyone.  I practically spend every waking hour with her.  I know she’s never dated anyone or been with anyone.  She’s naive and - and doesn’t understand.  Doesn’t know any better.  I’m doing this to protect her.  Stopping whatever the hell they have going on now before it goes too far.  </p><p>When I return to the room Sam is back.  Him and Evie are chatting about Gabriel.  What a weird day.  I mean we’ve certainly had our fair share of weird shit happen to us before but that was just downright bizarre.  I’m happy at the very least that they seem to be getting on better these days.  Evie was always the forgiving type, it’s been easier for her to let Sam back in then it has been for me.  I worry sometimes that she’s too forgiving.  She has a kind heart and everyone knows what happens to kind hearts in this world, they break.</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>I am still trying to figure out what happened the other night.  Don’t get me wrong I’m happy Dean didn’t rip my head off, I’m just confused as to why not.  After that massive blowout we had in 2014 I kept expecting another huge fight at some point, but instead he just asked if Cas tried anything and left.  I’m relieved, still a little concerned about what he might do in the future, but relieved that he seems to have let this go for now anyways.  </p><p>A few days later we get an urgent text from Chuck to meet him at the Pineview Hotel.  He says it’s life or death.  We drive sixteen hours straight.  I feel groggy by the time we get there.  We hop out of the car and see an entire row of identical black impalas.  “What the hell.”  I mutter under my breath.  Sam taps me on the shoulder and points up ahead to where Chuck is milling around nervously in front of the hotel.</p><p>“Chuck, there you are!”  Sam greets him. </p><p>Chuck jumps like we startled him.  “Guys?”</p><p>“What’s going on?”  Dean asks suspiciously. </p><p>“Ah, nothing.  You know just kinda hanging.  What are you guys doing here?” </p><p>“You told us to come.  You texted Sam.  Life or death situation remember.”  I comment in a bewildered tone.</p><p>“What?  No I didn’t.  I didn’t send any text.”  </p><p>“We drove all night!”  Dean snaps at him. </p><p>We hear squealing and we all turn our heads up to see a short young girl on the front steps running down.  “SAM!  You made it!”  </p><p>“Oh, augh, Becky right?”  Sam asks hesitantly.  </p><p>She runs right up to him.  “You remembered.”  She says a little breathy before her voice lowers.  “You’ve been thinking about me.  It’s okay.  I can’t get you out of my head either.”</p><p>“Becky, did you take my phone?”  Chucks asks, obviously frustrated.  </p><p>She gives him a look like it’s no big deal.  “I just borrowed it from your pants.” </p><p>“Becky…”  Chuck sighs exasperated. </p><p>“What?  They’re going to want to see this.”  She says excitedly while pulling Sam up the steps into the hotel.  </p><p>Chuck looks at us apologetically.  “Guys, I’m sorry.  For everything.”  </p><p>We all walk into the hotel and come to a screeching halt.  “Oh.  My.  God.”  I say to no one in particular at the scene before us.  There’s a large banner reading ‘First Annual Supernatural Convention’ and a couple dozen people walking around dressed up like us.  There are literally girls wearing white wigs, flowery skirts, and leg braces.  There are boys dressed up like Sam and Dean.  Even a few dressed up like Bobby.  One guy is even wearing fake yellow contacts.  “What the fuck.”  Dean mutters.  </p><p>A man in a scarecrow mask approaches us.  “Uh-oh, it’s Sam, Dean, and Evalynn!  I’m in trouble now.  Have fun you guys.  Aaaah!”  He says before swinging his scythe in our direction like he’s jokingly attacking us.  </p><p>The crowd starts to shuffle into a large convention room.  We follow along totally confused as to what the hell is happening and stand in the back.  Some manager goes up on stage.  “Welcome to the first annual Supernatural Convention.  At 3:45 in the Magnolia room we have the panel ‘frightened little boy, the secret life of Dean’.  Then at 4:30 there is ‘Evalynn, the virgin Mary archetype’.  And finally at 5:00 there’s ‘the homoerotic subtext of supernatural.’” </p><p>I can feel my eyebrows practically digging into my forehead.  You have got to be kidding me.  This cannot be happening.  “Oh, and of course the big hunt starts at 7:00 sharp.”  The manager announces as the crowd bursts into cheers. </p><p>The manager introduces Chuck and motions for him to come on stage.  The crowd goes wild.  Chuck nervously approaches the mic.  “Ok.  Okay good, this isn’t nearly as awkward as I…”  He pauses to clear his throat.  “Dry mouth.”  He mutters while taking a large gulp of water from the bottle in front of him.  “Ok, uh - ahem.  So I guess...questions?” </p><p>Every single person’s hand in the room shoots up.  Chuck points at someone at random.  The young man leaps up quickly.  “Hi Mr. Edlund, big fan.  I was just wondering.  Where did you come up with Sam, Dean, and Evalynn in the first place?” </p><p>The three of us blatantly stare down Chuck from the back of the room, I cross my arms over my chest.  Oh this should be good.  He glances at us awkwardly.  “Uh, I don’t know...they just came to me I guess.”  I feel my lips purse at his answer.  </p><p>After a few more questions he makes an announcement.  They are going to start publishing again.  My jaw almost drops on the floor.  Is he out of his fucking mind?  After the public speaking is over we find Becky and Chuck sitting in the lobby having a drink.  The three of us storm over to him.  Dean glances at Becky for a moment.  “Excuse us.”  Then fixes Chuck with an ice cold glare.  “In case you haven’t noticed our plates are kinda full, okay?  Finding the colt, hunting the devil.  We don’t have time for this crap.”  </p><p>Chuck looks offended.  “Hey!  I didn’t call you.”  I glance over at Becky, but she’s busy giving Sam the most over the top come hither eyes in existence while Sam tries his best not to notice. </p><p>“He means the books Chuck.”  I growl at him.</p><p>“Why are you publishing more books?”  Sam clarifies for me. </p><p>“Um...for food and shelter?”  </p><p>Dean leans over Chuck's chair.  “Who gave you the right’s to our life story.”  </p><p>“An archangel.  And I didn’t want it!”  </p><p>“Well deals off.  No more books.”  I snarl at him.  “Our lives are not for public consumption.”  Sam emphasizes my point.  </p><p>Becky turns to Chuck awkwardly.  “Becky, would you excuse us for a moment?”  Chuck asks.  “Uh-huh.”  She says in a high pitched tone while sipping her yellow drink.  </p><p>We follow Chuck out into the hallway and he tries to explain himself but then we hear a woman’s scream.  We run towards it.  I vaguely hear Chuck telling us to wait but I ignore the irritating prophet.  It becomes quickly apparent that it’s not an actual attack, just part of the convention.  Whatever fake “hunt” they are doing.  After watching a few of them, the fans walking around pretending to be us, we head to the bar for a drink.  God and I thought Gabriel’s TV land fantasy was weird.  I get whiskey on ice.  Dean tries to hit on one of the actresses.  Then we overhear one of the kids from the panel talking about a ghost, a real ghost, I don’t think he’s faking it.  We get the hotel manager to fess up the true story about the hotel.  Apparently it actually used to be an orphanage and there were some kids murdered here.  The guy tells us they were killed in the attic.  We find one of the spirits up there with his head scalped, talking about how much his mommy loved him.  After a quick call to the county historical society Sam found out that a woman, Leticia Gore, butchered four boys...including her own son.  We overhear a conversation about a cemetery going on at the next table between two guys dressed up like Sam and Dean.  </p><p>The three of us walk over.  Sam plucks the map off the table and inspects it.  “Looks real, at least a century old.  They’re right, there’s a cemetery on the grounds.”</p><p>The guy snatches the map back from Sam.  Dean stares at him.  “Where did you get that?” </p><p>“It’s called a game pal.  It ain’t called charity.”</p><p>“Just give him the map chuckles.”  I say dryly.  </p><p>He looks at me like he’s trying too hard to be smug.  “Yeah well you’re the chuckles, chuckle.  Besides, Dean don’t listen to nobody...not even Evie.”  He pulls back his jacket to show us his fake gun.  I roll my eyes and internally debate about showing him my very real knife.  </p><p>Dean reaches like he’s going to pull out his gun but Sam stops him.  “Hey, cool it!”  He hisses.  </p><p>“What!  They’re freaking annoying!”  Dean whispers back.  </p><p>Sam the negotiator comes out.  “Look guys, we all want to find the bones right?  We just thought...it would go faster if we worked together.”  </p><p>The two fans eventually agree as long as they get to “be Sam and Dean”.  That’s it.  This is officially the worst case we have ever been on.  Dean finally snaps at the two of them when they are pretending to be having one of the fights between Sam and Dean back at the asylum case we worked practically a lifetime ago.  He goes off.  Completely loses it on them.  The two guys are stunned and look at him like he’s crazy.  “We promise he’s not rabid.”  I say with a straight face.  “He uh...he just takes the story really seriously.”  Sam offers as an explanation. </p><p>Much to the fans' shock and apprehension we dig up old Leticia Gore’s grave.  They freak when they realize those are actual bones.  When they turn to run Leticia’s spirit appears “naughty, naughty, naughty”  the ghost’s gravely voice hisses at them.  She throws Sam across the cemetery, knocking him out, then goes for the two fans.  I throw salt on the bones then Dean drops his lighter and the spirit goes up in flames.  </p><p>Of course it wasn’t that easy.  It’s never that easy.  It wasn’t Leticia who killed her son, it was the creepy ass little orphans.  We get Chuck to keep rambling on stage so everyone remains inside the salt lines.  The last thing we need is more superfans running around.  I drag the two pretend Sam and Dean fans to salt and burn the orphan bones while the real one’s keep the spirits occupied.  </p><p>Sam and I catch Chuck before the conference is over and we get the hell outta dodge.  Becky confesses mournfully that she can’t be with Sam because Chuck is the one who has her heart.  “Will you be alright?”  She asks in a quavering voice.  I have to turn my face to the side to stop myself from laughing.  I bite down hard on my lower lip.  Sam puts on a sad face and sighs heavily.  “Honestly, I don't know.  I’ll just have to find a way to keep on living I guess.”  I bite down on my lip so hard to stop myself from laughing I think I might have broken the skin. </p><p>“God bless you.”  Becky says dramatically. </p><p>I glance at Chuck and nod my head a little to get him to follow me out of earshot of the two lovebirds breaking up over there.  He follows along, glancing back at Becky for a moment.  </p><p>“Hey Chuck, you know we’ve been thinking it over and if you really, really wanna publish more books then it’s okay with us.”  I say. </p><p>Chuck’s face lights up with excitement.  “Wow.  Really?”</p><p>“No not really.  You published that I’m a virgin, Chuck.  I have a gun and I’ll find you.” </p><p>He nods his head shakily.  “Oh, ok.  No more books.”  </p><p>“Glad we understand each other.”  I grumble, turning to walk away.  </p><p>“Wait, wait…”  Chuck stops me.  He looks like he wants to say something but is uncertain. </p><p>I take a step towards him.  “Something you wanna tell me?” </p><p>He shifts on his feet and puts his hands back in his pockets.  “I just wanted to tell you...that you’re exactly like I imagined you would be, you know?  I hope, I don’t know, I hope you get a happy ending is all I’m trying to say.”  </p><p>Now it’s my turn to feel uncomfortable by his odd confession.  “Uhh, thanks I guess...you haven’t - I mean you haven’t seen what’s happened between me and Cas have you?”</p><p>His face softens a little.  Chuck seems, I’m not sure, not really Chuck in that moment.  “I’ve seen it, yeah.  Word of advice from your friendly neighborhood prophet?” </p><p>I glare at him slightly but nod for him to continue.  “You and Cas, you both deserve happiness.  If you’ve found even an ounce of it hold on and don’t let go.”</p><p>I stare at him perplexed by his out of character optimistic words.  “I’ll uh, I’ll keep that in mind.  Thanks Chuck.” </p><p>I slide into the back seat contemplatively.  My thoughts turn to Cas, they always seem to turn to Cas when I have a spare moment to think these days.  Sam hops into the passenger seat.  “You guys aren’t going to believe it, but I’ve got a lead on the colt.” </p><p>“What?”  Dean asks, confused. </p><p>“I’ll tell you guys on the way.  Just start driving.”</p><p>Sam tells us that Bella never gave the colt to Lilith, she gave it to Crowley.  Thanks to Becky, our number one fan, we finally have an actual lead.  I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding in.  We call Cas and tell him.  He says he’ll let us know when he’s found Crowley.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A few days later my phone lights up, it’s Cas.  I tap Dean on the shoulder and show him who’s calling.  He pulls over to the side of the road.  I answer it and put him on speaker.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The demon Crowley is making a deal even as we speak.  It is - going down.”  He tells us in his usual overly serious tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Going down?  Right.  Okay huggy bear, just don’t lose him.”  Dean says.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t lose him.”  He replies with conviction.  There’s a long pause.  “I followed him.  It’s not far, but - it’s layered in enochian warding magic.  I can’t get in.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay.  You did great.  We can take it from here Cas.  Thanks.”  I say quickly, Dean giving me an odd look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We don’t get to the address Cas gave us until late in the evening.  I made them pull over at a rest stop before we got there.  I put on the one lacy black dress I have.  Usually only reserved for funerals but it’s got a low neckline and it looks fancy enough.  I walk up to the intercom at the front gate of the large estate.  Sam and Dean are getting in over the fence.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I push the intercom button.  “Hello?  My car broke down.  I - I need some help.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be down in a minute.”  A voice says over the intercom before the gate opens.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two men in black suits approach me as I walk into the driveway.  “Evening pretty lady.  Get yourself on in here.”  One of them says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just need to make a call.”  I tell them with a small pout.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need to make a call to anyone, baby.  We’re the only help you’re ever going to need.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of them smirks knowingly at me.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turn like I’m going to walk away.  “You know what?  I think I should wait by my car.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of them grabs my shoulder, his eyes go black.  “We said, get your ass in here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I douse his face with the holy water flask that was hidden in my purse.  He lets go stumbling back.  Dean come up behind him and stabs him in the back with Ruby’s knife.  They sneak into the compound and go in through the back door.  Dean spray paints a devils trap under one of the rugs.  Sam signals me from the window that they’re ready and I cut the electricity to the compound.  I silently go through the back door and join them.  A short man in an expensive suit walks down the hallway.  He gives us a look like he was expecting this.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Crowley right?”  Sam asks, Ruby’s knife pointed at him.  Dean and I have our guns raised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So.  Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys finally found me.  Took you long enough.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walks a little towards us, but doesn’t fall for the devils trap.  He holds up the colt.  “This is it right?  This is what it’s all about?”  Three demons pop up behind us and grab us by the arms.  Crowley points the gun at us.  Shit.  Then the biggest surprise of the century happens and he shoots all three of the demons.  We glance at each other confused and startled.  “We need to talk, privately.”  The demon says before leading us back into his office.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know how deep I could have buried this thing?”  He waves a hand and the door slams shut.  “There’s no reason you should know this exists except that I told you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You told us.”  Sam comments suspiciously.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rumor, innuendo, sent out on the grapevine.”  He says dryly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?  Why tell us anything?”  Sam asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley looks at the colt.  “I want you to take this thing and empty it into Lucifer’s skull.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, okay, and why exactly would you want the devil dead?”  Dean asks skeptically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley sets the colt down on the desk.  “It’s called survival.  Oh wait, I forgot at best you three are functioning morons.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re functioning...moron.”  Dean grumbles lamely.  I give him a pointed look.  Crowely looks equally unimpressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucifer isn’t a demon, remember? He’s an angel.  An angel who hates humanity.  To him you’re just filthy bags of puss.  If that’s the way he feels about you, how does he feel about us?”  Crowley brings up an interesting point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But...Lucifer created you?”  I stare at him in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shrugs.  “To him we’re just servants.  Cannon fodder.  If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind, we’re next.  So help me, huh?  Let’s all go back to simpler better times.  Back when we could all follow our natures.  I’m in sales dammit!  So how about I give you this thing and you three ice the devil.”  He holds out the colt for Sam to take.  Sam stares at him hesitantly but eventually takes it once Crowley wriggles the gun a couple times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great...you wouldn’t happen to know where the devil is by chance would you?”  Sam asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Crowley pours himself a drink.  “Thursday, birdies tell me.  There’s an appointment in Carthrage, Missouri.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great.”  Sam says again, raising the colt and pointing it at Crowley, pulling the trigger. But nothing happens.  “Oh, right you’re going to need some ammunition.”  Crowley reaches into his desk and hands us a small box of ammo.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me for asking, but aren’t you kind of signing your own death warrant?  I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?”  Dean questions still skeptical. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Number one, he’s going to wipe us all out anyways.  Two, after you leave here I’m going on an extended vacation to all points nowhere.  And three, how about you don’t miss!  Okay!  Morons!”  He screams at us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wednesday night we’re all getting prepared at Bobby’s.  Ellen and Joe came out to join us the moment Bobby called.  I’m sitting next to Cas as Ellen is lining up five full shot glasses in a row.  He just downed ten shots about thirty seconds ago.  “All right big boy.  Drink up.”  Ellen says.  Cas drains all five in a row.  I glance over at Ellen and we share a look of surprise and amusement.  We all lean in a little, inspecting the angel.  He stares down at the empty shot glasses.  “I think...I think I might feel something.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I grin and give Cas a playful shove.  Ellen pours me another shot of whiskey.  I knock it back with a slight grimace.  “Well I definitely feel something.”  It’s only my third shot but considering how little I’ve been eating recently it is hitting my system like a freight train.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby yells at us to come into the library.  He wants one last photo.  Posterity’s sake I suppose.  After the class picture I grab a beer and head out to the back patio.  I just need a minute to myself.  We’re probably all going to die tomorrow, but at least I haven’t had a vision yet...that’s gotta mean something right?  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sit on the old porch swing, rocking it back and forth a little, sipping on my beer.  My head feels foggy and my limbs feel loose.  God I love alcohol.  Cas comes out onto the back porch.  “Hey there sailor.”  I say to him with a slight giggle to my voice.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks at me confused.  “I am not a sailor.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I giggle harder.  “Just an expression.  Come and sit.”  I pat the spot next to me on the swing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas sits down, we’re only a couple inches apart.  I notice the swing is still rocking but neither of us are pushing with our feet.  I grin at him, my head leaning floppily to the side.  “You’re doing that aren’t you.”  The tiniest of smiles pulling at the edges of his bow shaped lips.  “You’re pretty.”  I slur out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyebrows furrow.  “I, uh, thank you...you’re very - very beautiful.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I squint my eyes at him.  “You don’t have to say it back Cas.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyebrows furrow deeper.  “But I meant it.  You are.  Beautiful that is.”  He says it with such object certainty it makes my heart stutter for a moment.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas glances down where our fingers are almost touching.  He cautiously moves his hands until it slides into mine.  My drunk brain likes the warmth of it.  I look down at our contrasting hands, his large tan one and my small pale one.  I intertwine my fingers with his.  I peer over at him again, tilting my head a little further towards him as he does the same.  Our faces are only a couple inches apart.  I can feel my heart beating out of my chest, butterflies furiously thrumming in my stomach.  My breath hitches.  Those cerulean blue eyes look intently at my lips.  Cas brings up his other hand and cradles the side of my face, just like when we were back in TV land.  Only this time he leans forwards and closes those last couple of inches.  His lips oh so hesitantly brush against mine at first, but his uncertainty quickly fades and he presses a little harder.  His lips are slightly chapped yet they still feel nice against mine.  I turn my body further towards him, my free hand grabs onto his tie to pull him closer.  Castiel’s hand moves to card through my hair at the back of my head.  He kisses my bottom lip tenderly, then it becomes more insistent, almost nipping at it.  I let out a tiny whimper.  That seems to spur something in him because he pulls my head in and kisses me harder again.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The back porch door smacks open.  I tear myself off of Castiel.  I can feel my cheeks burning.  We both look over and see Ellen standing there staring at us with a knowing grin.  “Oh, sorry for interrupting kids.  I’ll uh, let you two enjoy your night.”  She winks at me before going back inside.  I start laughing, full blown laughing.  Poor Castiel just looks so confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god.  That was so close!”  I whisper, still cackling away.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I - I should not have done that…”  Cas looks at our still intertwined hands before slowly letting go of it.  I can feel my face fall.  “Why not?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glances at me, shame washes over his face.  “I should not have taken advantage of you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let out a relieved little chuckle.  “Is that what this is about?  Cas, you’re not taking advantage of me.  I’m an adult for crying out loud.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Castiel still looks down bitterly.  I sigh.  “Cas seriously.  I’m a big girl.  I can make my own decisions in life.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turns to me more seriously.  “This is wrong.  We shouldn’t be doing this.  I shouldn’t be doing this to you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can feel my heart falling.  “What do you mean?  This, this can’t be wrong.  I know it’s not.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evalynn...I’m - I’m thousands of years old.  I’ve been around longer than you can even imagine.”  He tries to explain.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can feel anger rising inside of me.  There might not be anything I can do about Dean treating me like an incompetent child, but I sure as hell don’t have to take this from Cas.  “I’m not an idiot!  I know that you’ve been around for a long time.  But guess what?  So will I.  One day I very well may be just as old as you are now.  What does it matter if I’m on the lower end of the immortality spectrum?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t say anything to that.  He just puts his hand back over mine and squeezes it gently.  After a few minutes of silence, the only sound being the creaking of the rocking porch, Cas finally speaks.  “Whatever happens Evalynn I just...I wanted you to know that I care about you.  More than anything else in the universe.  It’s you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can feel a large grin spread across my face.  “You know what Castiel, you are a confoundingly difficult person to figure out.  One minute you say you can’t be with me then the next you say care about me more than anyone else.  An enigma in an enigma.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hear Dean calling for me from the kitchen.  I get up and before I can overthink it I lean over, grab onto Castiel’s tie to tilt his face up, and give him a gentle kiss.  “I care about you too idiot.”  I mutter against his lips.  Give him one more soft peck then let go.  He stares up at me bewildered.  I like leaving him bewildered.  </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There are bodies, a mountain of bodies between me and the surface.  I can feel myself clawing past all of them, blood and guts sliding over me.  Vengeance and fury beyond reason boiling in my blood.  That insignificant pinprick is going to find out what happens when you cage death.  When you take me from my domain and trap me thousands of feet under.  Twenty five years in that pit and I’m still tethered to this flee.  Stuck doing his bidding.  I can feel the thousands of souls around me, confused, screaming for help, my reapers trying to work as fast as they can to move them out of the veil.  I can hear her scream, calling me to the surface, calling me to walk the earth again.  One of my children, my last creation before being dragged down.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I wake up with a gasp, my breath stuttering, body drenched in sweat.  What the fuck was that?  I’ve never had a vision like that before.  It was...terrifying and surreal and almost incomprehensible.  Looking frantically around the room I see my clock reads 5:04 am.  I flop back down on the bed, breathing still ragged.  It takes a few minutes for my heartbeat to return to normal.  There is no way I’m going back to sleep after that.  I get up and get ready.  However one can exactly ready themselves to kill the devil.  I go down to the kitchen and find Sam is already up as well.  He looks pensive as he drinks his coffee, staring off into space.  I pour myself a cup and sit across from him.  “Do you think this will work?  I mean...have you seen anything?”  Sam breaks our companionable silence.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stir my coffee absentmindedly.  “I saw something.  I don’t know.  It’s hard to describe.  I didn’t see anything specific about Lucifer though.  It was overwhelming.  I’ve been trying to focus my visions but ever since the apocalypse started...I don’t know they just come in waves.  I can’t control any of it.  Can’t seem to focus on anything specific.  It’s like I just see everything all at once or I see nothing at all.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowns at me.  “Sorry...I didn’t mean to pry.  I know - well I know how difficult it is to see things.  Things you don’t understand.”  He says quietly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I guess this might be the last chance to broach the subject with him.  “You know if you ever, just if you ever want to talk about what happened to you.  I mean really talk about it.  I’m always here Sammy.”  I reach my hands across the table and give his a gentle squeeze.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His puppy dog eyes glance at mine and a small smile pulls at the corner of his mouth.  “Thanks Evie.  You are a good person, you know that?  A good sister.  I’m sorry - sorry that I’ve always been a crap brother.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not Sammy.  Truly, you’re not.  I know that you don’t think much about yourself.  And I know you’ve been beating yourself up these past few months.  But despite everything you will always be my brother.  I will always love you Sammy.  Always.  Pinkie promise.”  I finish my little speech holding up my pinkie trying to lighten the mood.  He smiles a little wider and hooks his pinkie around mine.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean walks in.  “You two done with this chick-flick?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I roll my eyes at him.  “Way to ruin the moment Dean.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bobby yells from the front door; wheels up in ten.  Castiel and I drive with Ellen and Joe to Carthridge.  They try to make light chatter with us as we go.  I catch Ellen’s eyes glancing at the two of us in the rearview mirror, a knowing twinkle in them.  I try not to flush but I think I’m failing.  I feel Castiel’s finger hesitantly brush against mine.  It’s reassuring, comforting.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We roll into town and I see them, hundreds of them, reapers are everywhere.  We get out of the car and I slowly twirl around.  “They’re everywhere.”  I mumble.  Ellen touches my shoulder.  “What are you talking about?  The town is empty?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no it’s not.  There are reapers, hundreds of reapers.  I think - they must be waiting for something.”  I answer distractedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Castiel comes up and lightly grabs onto my elbow.  “They only gather like that during times of great catastrophe.  Chicago fire, San Francisco quake, Pompeii.”  He explains to a confused looking Joe and Ellen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turn to them.  I can feel I’m not fully in my right mind.  Reality seems - altered a little.  Maybe it’s because of all of the reapers bringing us closer to the veil.  The voice in the back of my head screams at me.  “You two should leave.  You shouldn’t be here.  You shouldn’t...I need to go and find out what’s happening.  Just promise you’ll leave town.”  I say to Ellen and Joe.  My voice doesn’t really sound like my voice when it comes out.  It sounds like I’m far away.  They look at me concerned.  I can hear Joe say they aren’t going anywhere.  But it sounds distant, distorted.  I start wandering into the street, Cas following after me.  None of the reapers will look at me, none of them interact.  Then I look up and see a man staring at me out of an apartment window.  A bright light suddenly surrounds Cas and I.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I open my eyes and see Cas standing in a circle of flaming holy oil.  “Hello brother.”  A man standing next to me says.  He looks ragged, like his skin is peeling or burning off.  There is an intense energy coming off the man, it almost pulses throughout the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucifer.”  Cas seethes at him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Castiel, right?  Castiel, I heard you came in an automobile.  What was that like?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cas looks at him distrustfully.  “Slow.  Confining.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucifer circles around the holy fire, staring at Cas like he’s an oddity at a museum.  “What a peculiar thing you are.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with your vessel?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.  Um.  Nick, he is wearing a bit thin.  He can’t contain me forever so -”  He replies with a shrug.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not taking my brother.”  I say in an off kilter almost sing-song like voice.  Reality is becoming fuzzier.  The lines between reality and the veil are blurring.  I know that it’s true though.  Lucifer won’t take him.  I can see it, feel it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucifer turns to me and walks up slowly.  “The littlest Winchester.  Oh, I’ve been waiting for you.  You’ve got an important role to play tonight missy.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare touch her!”  Castiel yells at him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucifer glances at him, he almost looks surprised.  “Oooh, now isn’t this interesting.  I didn’t realize how...attached you were to your charge.”  He reaches out and grabs me, pulling me flush against him.  “Let her go!”  Cas sounds almost desperate.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucifer grabs a hold of my jaw and tilts my head back so I’m forced to stare up at his peeling face.  “What a strangely beautiful creature you are.  I see why you like her so much Castiel.  All of that mysterious unknown pale white softness...”  He lightly traces the outline of my lips.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“STOP IT!  STOP TOUCHING HER!”  I can feel the boom of Castiel’s voice.  Can feel his power trying to claw its way out of the holy fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucifer twirls me around so I’m facing Cas, his arm around my waist still pulling my back flush against him.  “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?  An angel who rebelled for a banshee.  Now that isn’t something you see everyday!”  I can hear Lucifer laughing behind me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I feel Lucifer’s breath fanning across my neck.  His arm wrapping tighter around my waist.  “You must be a real screamer in the sack.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?!”  Castiel cries out furiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You rebelled, you were cast out.  I rebelled, I was cast out.  If heaven succeeds at defeating me, who do you think will be their new public enemy number one?  They’ll come for you and her.  Don’t you see?  We’re on the same side like it or not.  So why don’t you serve your own best interest?  Join me and you can have her.  Join me and you can be with her forever.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.  We’ll never join you.”  I say again in that sing-song voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t asking you banshee.”  He whispers in my ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will die first.”  Cas snarls at him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes...I suppose you will.”  Lucifer says.  Then I am standing in a field outside, next to a pit full of dead bodies.  I feel myself fall to the ground.  I can’t move.  He’s coming.  I can feel the earth start to tremble.  I turn my head a little and see Lucifer shoveling dirt onto the pile.  He glances over at me and smiles.  “Today is a big day for you.  You’re finally going to meet your maker.  I just need one small tiny favor.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then I hear Sam’s voice.  “Hey!  You wanted to see me.”  Oh thank god, Sammy.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Sam, you don’t need that gun here.  You know I’d never hurt you.”  Lucifer says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then I see Dean come up next to Lucifer, the colt cocked to his head.  “Yeah, well I’d hurt you.  So suck it.”  Dean fires the colt and Lucifer collapses.  But he...he’s not dead.  I feel tears run down my cheek, he’s not dead.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The devil inhales suddenly “Owww.”  Then he slowly gets back up, rubbing at his temple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now where was I?”  Lucifer questions before flicking his hand.  Dean goes flying across the field into the trees.  “No...no, no.”  I mutter like a prayer.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucifer looks at Sam.  “Don’t feel bad.  There are only five things in all creation that gun can’t kill.  I just happen to be one of them.  Give me a minute.  I’m almost done.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucifer keeps shoveling.  I keep mumbling no over and over again.  I can’t hear them anymore.  The ground is thundering, getting louder, he’s coming.  My vision goes white.  Then I hear the words Lucifer is chanting, the only thing that rings through my ears clear as a bell.  He’s summoning death.  I feel Lucifer grab onto the back of my neck and pull my head up off the ground slightly.  “Now scream for daddy.”  His sick slithering voice hisses in my ear.  I open my mouth and scream like I never have before.  I can feel pure raw energy reverberate out of me like shock waves.  Ripping through reality into the veil, tearing the barrier in half.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then I hear him.  It’s death.  “Do not be afraid my child.”  His voice whispers to me.  I feel a warm caressing light fill me from head to toe.  I blink my eyes open slowly and I’m lying on Bobby’s back porch.  Castiel comes flying outside, his eyes look wild.  “Evie!”  He yanks me into his arms, practically crushing me into his frame.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulls back slightly and runs a hand over my face, relief and worry flooding his eyes.  “How...how did you?  When I came for you and your brothers I couldn’t reach you.  At all.  It was like some presence had enveloped you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It, it was death.  He said not to be afraid.”  I whisper, my voice still sounds a little off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods before burying his face back into my neck, pulling me tight against him again.  He has to carry me inside.  I feel like I just used every ounce of energy in my body all at once.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt this tired in my life.  I can barely keep my head up.  I can hear Dean and Sam calling my name, but I can’t stop my eyes from shutting and the world goes dark.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I sleep for two days straight.  They thought for a while I might have been in a coma.  When I finally awaken Sam tells me about my scream, how it shredded through the air and blasted away everything within at least a hundred foot radius.  I shiver at the memory.  I know I’ve shooken a few things in the past...but never on that scale.  Never that large, never that powerful.</p><p>They tell me that Joe and Ellen didn’t make it, but I already knew.  The moment we stepped outta that car I knew.  I told them to go, why the hell didn’t they just go.  The next few weeks I feel numb inside.  Still struggling to comprehend everything that happened that night.  I can still feel him.  Tugging at the back of my mind I can still feel death.  Maybe that’s who it’s been all these years.  That strange voice, instinct, whatever you want to call it.  Maybe it was always death.  Sam and Dean go off on a few hunts while I’m in sick bed at Bobby’s.  He barely lets me out of his site now.  Cas is here most days.  He seems...more defeated, let down maybe.  I didn’t realize how much he was hoping that the colt would work.  If I think Bobby’s fretting is bad though Castiel’s is on a whole other level.  I think Lucifer got to him more than he will admit, not that either of us really want to talk about what happened in that room.  Every time I think about Lucifer’s hands on me, his voice slithering in my ear I want to throw up.  </p><p>Finally after two months on bed rest I’ve had enough.  I tell Dean they either take me with them on their next hunt or I’ll get on a bus and find them anyways.  He reluctantly lets me come after Sam does a bit more arm twisting on him.  Sam gets it, when you’re on the sidelines long enough it’s like an itch you’ve gotta scratch.  </p><p>We’re investigating a case of this couple who apparently ate each other to death.  Dean and I go to the coroner’s office while Sam interviews the roommate.  Wow, they really weren’t kidding, they literally ate each other.  Their stomach’s were full of one another.  Sam doesn’t find anything suspicious in the apartment.  The next day we got another call from the coroner’s office.  Another double suicide.  We get to the coroner’s office and he just hands us the keys and tells us not to forget to refrigerate all the parts.  Sam and I are inspecting the intestines. </p><p>“Hey guys?”  Dean says before sliding the heart he is inspecting across the table.  “Be my valentines?”  I roll my eyes at him.  He always gets extra jokey in morgues.  </p><p>“Woah, woah, woah, guys, check that out.  Do you see that?  These hearts have identical marks on them.”  Sam proclaims inspecting each of the hearts carefully and pointing to very small markings on the exterior of each heart.  </p><p>“Is that a letter maybe?  It looks like a backward 3.”  I question peering at the odd marking.</p><p>“Does anyone else think it looks...enochian?”  Sam asks.  I stare at it a little closer.  “Yeah, yeah maybe it is.”  </p><p>We hear Dean on the phone calling Cas and giving him our location.  The next moment the angel is standing awkwardly in front of him, still talking on his phone.  I suppress a giggle.  It’s just...it’s really cute.</p><p>Cas inspects both of the hearts and quickly confirms our suspicions.  He explains it’s a mark of union.  That these two were intended to mate.  They were marked by a cupid apparently, or well, technically a third order cherub according to Cas.  </p><p>“A cherub?”  Dean asks, not quite sounding convinced.  </p><p>“Yes, they are all over the world.  There are dozens of them.”  Has his voice always been that deep?  It’s, it’s a really nice voice. </p><p>“You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers?”  Dean keeps going.</p><p>Castiel stares at him perplexed.  “They are not incontinent.” </p><p>“Okay...anyways.  So, what you’re saying -”  Cas cuts Sam off.  “I’m saying a cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him before he kills again.”  I kind of like when he sounds all commanding like that.  His eyes light up.  </p><p>“Naturally.”  Sam grimaces.  </p><p>Sam and Dean start walking out of the coroners office.  I peer up at Cas and he is only standing a couple of inches from me.  When the hell did he get so close?  My mind is screaming at me to reach out and touch.  It’s been so long since I last touched him.  His perfect lips are right there, all I’d have to do is reach up on my tiptoes.  His eyes stare at me with an intensity that makes me feel weak in the knees.  Like I might just crumple to the ground any second now. </p><p>“I like your hair.”  He suddenly blurts out.  Almost like it was a fleeting thought that he didn’t even mean to say aloud.  God has he always been this cute?</p><p>“Hey!  You two space cadets coming or not?”  Sam calls out from the doorway.  I have to shake my head a little bit to gain some level of self control.  What the hell is wrong with me today?  We’re working a case right now and all I can think about is Cas.  </p><p>I stiffly turn away from the angel and run after my brothers.  As we are going down the hallway I’m so distracted I almost run into a pole.  Cas grabs my arm and pulls me out of the way at the last second.  His hand, it feels like…like a searing heat on my skin.  We stare at each other for what feels like the longest moment in eternity.  I can barely hear Sam yelling at us to get a move on.  Christ am I losing my mind?  I yank my arm out of his grasp and head after Sam.</p><p>As we are walking down the street outside Castiel points to a restaurant with a bunch of valentines days hearts and decorations on it.  “We should start our search there.”  </p><p>As we walk to the entrance there is a man outside selling roses.  Cas and I try to follow in behind Sam and Dean but the man stops us.  “Some pretty flowers for the pretty lady, huh?  What do you say Romeo?  Only ten dollars.”  The man addresses Cas.  </p><p>“My name is not Romeo.”  Cas replies.  But he keeps staring at the flowers.  He looks contemplative as he turns to me.  “Is this part of a human ritual?”  </p><p>I blink at him a couple of times.  “Um...yeah, I suppose so.  It’s just a Valentines Day thing.” </p><p>“Oh, I see.”  He says before pulling a crumpled wad of money out of his trench coat pocket.  I remember explaining to him several weeks ago how to exchange money for things since he’s fully living in the human world now.  I have no idea where he got the cash though.  I should probably get him a wallet, it would help him blend in more. </p><p>He looks almost annoyed at the money until he finds a ten dollar bill.  Cas hands the man the requested amount and the guy gives him one of the bundles of roses.  Cas turns to me hesitantly holding out the flowers, as if he’s not quite sure if he’s doing this right.  It’s overwhelmingly endearing.  I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone give me flowers before.  I feel myself blushing from my head to my toes.  “Thanks Cas.”  I mumble staring down at the stupid flowers happily.  What am I a sap?</p><p>The man lightly smacks Castiel’s shoulder making a tsking sound.  “Tell her happy Valentine’s day man.”  </p><p>“Oh, alright....happy Valentine’s day Evalynn.”  He says in that overly serious tone of his.</p><p>I hear myself giggle.  Good god am I drunk right now?  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Cas.” </p><p>The corners of his lips twitch just a little, as if they might smile.  Then he opens the door for me.  Sam and Dean are impatiently waiting at the hostess stand.  Sam almost does a double take when he sees me.  Dean just looks annoyed, well, more annoyed than he usually is these days.  “What’s with the flowers?”  Sam asks almost laughing.  I can feel my face getting even hotter.  “Nothing.”  I mumble.  “It was part of a human ritual.”  Cas answers him as if that clears everything up.  </p><p>Finally a bubble looking middle aged woman comes up to us.  “Oh how sweet, double date?  Table for four?”  She asks cheerily.</p><p>I realize she must think Castiel and I are together.  Oh god my face is going to look like a cherry by the end of the night.  I can hear Dean spluttering.  “Not a couple, none of us are couples.  We’re all just - work colleagues.”  The hostess stares at Dean with a doubtful expression like she doesn’t quite believe him but brings us all to a table anyways.  </p><p>Dean makes a point of sitting next to me.  Castiel still sits across from me though.  The waitress comes and takes our orders.  Dean clears his throat glancing in Castiel’s direction.  “So what, you just happen to know cupid likes the cosmos here?”  </p><p>Cas leans forward conspiratorially.  “This place is a nexus of human reproduction.  It’s exactly the kind of - of garden cupid will come to pollinate.”  He almost whispers to us.  I have to bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself from giggling again. </p><p>The waitress comes back with our orders.  I quickly start downing the manhattan I ordered, maybe if I get drunk then I won’t keep acting so weird because currently sober me is not doing too well at keeping her shit together.  Dean picks up his burger, glances down at it, and then pushes it away.  “You’re not hungry?”  Sam asks skeptically.    </p><p>Dean shrugs.  “No.  What’s the big deal?  I’m not hungry.”  </p><p>I peak at Cas over the lip of my drink.  Why does he keep staring at me like that?  He’s looking at me like he wants to eat me or something.  It makes my stomach clench in an odd mixture of want and trepidation.  I avert my gaze.  Maybe if I just don’t look at him this feeling will go away.</p><p>Suddenly Castiel stiffens.  Almost like he’s remembering himself.  He turns around and looks at a couple making out in a booth across the way from us.  “He’s here.  Meet me in the back.”  He says before disappearing.  Sam and Dean let out a frustrated groan.  But we all make our way to the back of the restaurant.  We find Castiel in what looks like a storage room, his hand is held out but we don’t see anything.</p><p>“Cas, where is he?”  Sam asks.</p><p>“I have him tethered.  Zoda kama mahrana.  Manifest yourself.”  Castiel demands. </p><p>“So where is -”  Dean begins to say before a large slightly pudgy extremely naked man appears and pulls Dean into a bone crushing hug.  “Here I am!”  </p><p>The cupid keeps holding onto him happily.  “Help!”  Dean’s voice sounds strained.  “Oh help is on the way!  Yes it is, yes it is!”  The cupid replies jovially before releasing Dean.  </p><p>He has a large smile on his face as he heads for Castiel with open arms, pulls him into another bone crushing hug that lifts Cas off the ground.  “Ohhh, mmmm”  Cas mutters while looking extraordinarily uncomfortable.  The cupid finally lets him go.  He turns to me with that huge grin on his face.  I whip out my knife.  “Try it and I’ll cut you.”  His smile falters a bit but then it comes back at full force.  “You are just the feistiest little thing!  I love that!”  He thankfully turns away from me and looks at Sam arms wide open.  Sam looks terrified and tries to run, but the cupid transports himself and Sam runs right into his open arms.  “No.”  Sam wheezes out.  “Yes, yes, yes, yes!”  Cupid replies elated.  </p><p>“Is this a fight?  Are we - are we in a fight?”  Dean asks completely bewildered. </p><p>“No, this is their...handshake.”  Cas explains.  He still looks disturbed.</p><p>“I don’t like it.”  Dean says in a flustered tone. </p><p>Cas wriggles his shoulders a little.  “No one likes it.”   </p><p>Finally the cupid lets go of Sam and turns to look at all of us, that stupid happy grin still plastered to his face.  “Mmmm, what can I do for you?” </p><p>Cas advances towards him in a threatening manner.  “Why are you doing this?”</p><p>“Doing what?”  He asks happily. </p><p>“You’re targets - the ones you’ve marked - they’re slaughtering each other.”  Cas says accusingly. </p><p>The cupid’s face falls in dismay.  “What?  They are?” </p><p>Dean stalks towards the cupid as well.  “Listen birthday suit, we know okay?  We know you’ve been flittin’ around, poppin people with your poison arrow, making them murder each other!”  </p><p>The cupid looks absolutely devastated.  “You think that I...well, uh - I don’t know what to say.”  He buries his face in his hand and starts fully blown crying.  Not like a couple of tears, I mean full on sobbing.  He turns away from us, his shoulders shaking as he keeps bawling.  We all stare at each other equally confounded.  “Should uh - should we do something?”  Sam whispers.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, that’s a good idea...give ‘em hell Evie.”  Dean says pushing me towards the cupid.  I give him a rueful glare.  “Why the hell do I have to talk to it?”  </p><p>“Because you’re the nice one!”  He hisses at me.  </p><p>I let out a large sigh before gritting my teeth and cautiously approaching the upset cupid.  “Um...look we didn’t mean to, you know, hurt your feelings.”  The cupid turns around suddenly and pulls me into one of his tight hugs.  Oh god, this is the worst.  I would rather fight a vamp.  </p><p>“Love is more than just a word to me you know!  I love love.  I love it!  And if that’s wrong then I don’t want to be right!”  He blubbers out.</p><p>I gingerly pat him on the back, unsure of what to do.  “Uh, there, there?  It will be alright?”  </p><p>He finally releases me.  “I was just on my appointed rounds.  Whatever my targets do after that, that’s nothing to do with me!  I - I was following orders.”  The cupid turns to Castiel.  “Please, brother.  Read my mind, read my mind, you’ll see!”  He waves at Cas to come over.  I quickly back away from the cupid.  I feel like I need a shower.  </p><p>Castiel looks deep into his eyes.  “He’s telling the truth.” </p><p>The cupid smiles in obvious relief.  “Jiminy Christmas.  Thank you.” </p><p>Dean points a finger at him.  “Wait, wait you said you were following orders?”  </p><p>“Mmm-hmm.”  </p><p>“Whose orders?”  I ask.</p><p>The cupid starts laughing.  “Whose?  Heaven’s silly!”</p><p>“Why does heaven care if Harry meets Sally?”  Dean questions him. </p><p>The cupid suddenly seems more serious.  “Oh mostly they don’t.  You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies.  Oh, like yours.”  He points at Sam and Dean.</p><p>Sam gives him a stunned glare.  “What?” </p><p>“Yeah, the union between Mary and John Winchester - very big deal upstairs.  Top priority arrangement.  But when we were done with them - perfect couple!” </p><p>“Perfect?”  Dean growls at him. </p><p>“Yeah!”  The cupid replies happily.</p><p>“They’re dead!”  He yells back.</p><p>The cupid suddenly looks serious again.  “I’m sorry but...the orders were very clear.  You and Sam needed to be born.  Your parents we’re just uh, meant to be.  A match made in heaven - heaven!”  He starts to sing the last part with jazz hands.  </p><p>Dean lunges forward and punches the cupid.  He quickly rears his hand back cradling it.  “Son of a bitch!”  He winces as he tries to shake out his hand.  How does he always forget that celestial beings feel like stone if you hit them?</p><p>The cupid disappears.  “Where is he?  Where’d he go?”  Dean snarls.  </p><p>“I believe you upset him.”  Castiel says.</p><p>“Dean enough!”  I yell at him.  God what is with him these days.</p><p>He glares at us all vehemently.  “What?” </p><p>Sam scoffs.  “You just punched a cupid!”   </p><p>Dean rolls his eyes.  “I punched a dick!”</p><p>“Um...are we going to talk about what’s been up with you lately or not?”  Sam asks exasperated.  </p><p>Dean glares at him. “Or not.”  He says before storming out of the room.  Sam shakes his head but goes running after him.  </p><p>My heart rate rises when I realize it’s just Cas and I alone again.  I peak up at him and his eyes are already on me.  Those blues eyes almost hypnotizing.  He starts to walk towards where I am leaning up against a crate.  I can feel the expectation thrumming just underneath the surface.  Then the cupid appears again.  “Is the angry one gone?”  He whispers.  That seems to snap us out of whatever weird spell we are under.  </p><p>“My brother?  Yeah he’s gone.”  </p><p>“Oh you two, I just wanted to look at you again.  Hmmm…”  The cupid let’s out a happy sigh.  “Some of our best work.”  He says cryptically before disappearing again.  </p><p>I don’t meet Castiel’s gaze.  I’m honestly not quite sure what would happen at this point if I did.  I feel so out of control around him right now.  I run out of the room after my brothers.  </p><p>Sam gets a call from the coroner’s office about another suspicious death.  Dean and I sit in the car listening to the police blotter.  Eight suicides and nineteen OD’s over the past two days.  Something is definitely going on in this town.  We meet Sam back at the hotel.  He looks flustered as he tells us about a demon he ran into on the way from the coroner’s office.  He seems flushed and has a light sheen of sweat on him.  Is he coming down with something?  I run some cold water over a washcloth and hand it to him.  He takes it gratefully.</p><p>We crack open the mysterious suitcase Sam managed to steal from the demon he ran into.  Maybe it will hold some answers.  Instead and bright perfectly pure white light escapes from the case and ascends through the ceiling disappearing.  “I think that was a soul.”  I whisper in awe.</p><p>Castiel suddenly appears.  “Yes, it was a human soul.  It’s all starting to make sense now.”  He stays almost glued to the door though and he won’t look at me.  Eyes remain determinedly fixed to the ground.</p><p>“What about this makes sense?”  Sam asks. </p><p>“This town is not suffering from a love-gone-wrong effect.  It’s suffering from hunger.  Starvation to be exact - specifically famine.”  Castiel explains. </p><p>“Great, another horseman.  Just freakin’ great.”  I grumble. </p><p>Sam still looks confused.  “I thought famine meant starvation, as in you know, food.” </p><p>“Yes.  Absolutely.  But it’s not just food.  I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something - sex, attention, drugs...love.”  Cas explains.  At the very last word he glances up at me finally.  It feels like I can breath again.  It’s starting to click though.  Why the hell I feel this way around him.  Why I am so out of control right now.  Why all I can think about is the last time we kissed and wanting to do more of that again and again and again.  Like a running loop in my head.  </p><p>“So, famine just rolls into town and everybody goes crazy?”  Dean asks in almost disbelief. </p><p>“And then will come famine riding on a black stead.  He will ride into the land of plenty and great will be the horseman’s hunger - for he is hunger.  His hunger will seep out and poison the air.”  Castiel quotes.  </p><p>“So what, this whole town is just gonna eat, drink, and screw itself to death?”  Sam asks through slightly panting breaths.  What’s wrong with him?</p><p>Since Cas finally turned his gaze on me he can’t seem to look away.  I can’t either.  Shit, shit, shit.  “We should stop it.”  He says in an utterly distracted manner.</p><p>“Yeah that’s a great idea.  How?”  Dean asks mockingly.  I feel myself getting angry, why does he always have to treat Cas that way?  Treat all of us that way?</p><p>“Don’t you already know the answer Dean?  Use your brain and think about the last horseman we came across.”  I snap at him. </p><p>“Oh that’s right, the ring.  You think famine’s got a class ring like that too?”  </p><p>“I know he does.”  Cas answers him.</p><p>“Well okay then, let’s track him down and get to chopping.”  Dean orders in a pissy voice.  </p><p>Castiel and I keep staring at each other.  Like our eyes are glued to the other person.  Dean stomps up to him and snaps his fingers in front of his face.  “Earth to Cas?  Come on let’s get a move on.  Evie, Sammy let’s roll.”  He barks at us.  </p><p>Cas and I finally tear our eyes away from each other and it feels like my heart is physically constricting in my chest.  I cross my arms and grimace at the floor.</p><p>“Dean, I uh...I can’t.  I can’t go.”  Sam’s voice sounds shaky.  I glance over at him and notice that he’s sweating a lot more and his eyes seem glazed over.  Squashing my insane thoughts about Cas down into the back of my head.  I walk over to Sam and put the back of my hand on his forehead.  “He’s burning up.”  I mumble. </p><p>“I think it got to me you guys...I think I’m, I’m hungry for it.”  Sam says with a pained expression.</p><p>“Demon blood?”  I whisper.  He nods, but his entire body is shaking. </p><p>“You gotta be kidding me.  Cas, you gotta get him out of here.  Beam him to like Montana or something.”  Dean orders from behind me.  </p><p>“It won’t work.  He’s already infected.  The hunger will just travel with him.”  Cas explains in a strained tone. </p><p>“Well then what do we do?”  Dean asks.</p><p>“We cut the bastard's finger off.”  I growl.  </p><p>“Wait, before you guys go.  I think - I need you guys to lock me down.  Good.”  Sam pants, his voice pleading.  Dean cuffs him to the bathroom sink and tells him to hang in there.  </p><p>This has got to be the most awkward car ride in existence.  I’m in the passenger seat, Cas is in the back, and Dean is driving.  None of us say a word.  I have to keep my eyes shut, just focus on your breathing Evie; in and out, in and out.  It doesn’t seem to be doing jack-squat.  All I can think about is climbing into the backseat and jumping the angels bones.  I keep playing the image on repeat in my head, there's just one track in there.  </p><p>We stop in front of the coroner’s office and Dean hops out.  He yells at Cas to come with him.  Crap, does Dean know?  I hope he doesn’t realize why the hell I’m acting so weird.  God that’s embarrassing.  I thought it would get better if Cas wasn’t in the car but I just keep getting worse.  I feel sad and desperate and all I want to do is go inside and track him down.  Focus Evie, damn it, just focus, focus, focus.  They get back into the car finally and I let out an involuntary sigh of relief.  I keep my eyes closed though, just focus.  </p><p>“What the hell is wrong with you?”  Dean asks gruffly.  </p><p>“Nothing.”  I hiss at him through gritted teeth.  </p><p>“What, you jonesing for chocolate or something?  What is it?”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it Dean, I’m fine.  Why the hell aren’t you having a bad trip like the rest of us?”  I grind out.  </p><p>I can hear Dean shift a little in his seat.  “Everyone in this town is falling prey to famine, but so far you seem unaffected.”  Castiel comments from the back.  God he has a nice deep voice.  I feel my stomach clench.  </p><p>“Hey when I want to drink, I drink.  When I want sex, I go get it.  Same goes for a sandwich or a fight…”  Dean trails off.</p><p>I scoff.  “So what you’re saying you’re well adjusted?” </p><p>“God no, I’m just well fed.”  He answers in a joking tone.  </p><p>“Look there goes a demon.  He must have collected the latest soul.”  Cas says from the backseat.  I peak my eyes open just a bit to notice the man quickly walking out of the coroners office holding a briefcase.  We follow along after him to a biggerson’s restaurant.  </p><p>“Alright Cas, you wanna go over the plan again?”  Dean demands.  I can’t help it anymore.  I glance at him in the rearview mirror.  He’s staring at the back of my head forlornly.  </p><p>“Earth to Cas!!  The plan!”  Dean yells.  Cas finally turns his head to Dean.  “I take the knife, go in, cut the ring off famine, meet you back here in the parking lot.”  </p><p>“Well that sounds foolproof.”  Dean snorts but the angel is already gone.  I feel empty inside, hollow again, hungry, starving…</p><p>After a minute we decide this is definitely taking too long.  I take the back entrance and Dean goes for the side door.  I walk in just as Cas is knifing a demon.  There are two other dead ones on the floor next to him.  He let’s go of the knife and turns to me.  His eyes look manic.  I drop my gun and hear it clatter on the floor.  Castiel runs up to me and his mouth is on mine.  I hear myself let out a little ‘mmmph’ at the sudden contact.  His lips are demanding as he shoves his body into mine, slamming me up against the back door.  The kiss is hard and desperate.  He runs one hand through my hair and pulls so my face is angled up further.  Cas shoves his tongue inside and it feels like my entire body is one fire.  God it feels like I just found a spring after wandering the desert.</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CASTIEL</p><p>All I see is her, her hair, her eyes, her skin.  Just one singular thought over and over again.  I want her, I want her more than I’ve ever wanted for anything in the universe.  I don’t even know what I’m doing, just going off of instinct, pure base desire.  When I taste her though, bury myself in that warm wet mouth of hers, any semblance of self-control, rational thought I might have still had is gone.  Wiped out.  All there is, is her soft pliant mouth and those breathy little whimpers she’s making.  I want to hear more of that.  My hands let go of that silky white hair and move to the underside of her thighs.  She lets out a little yelp at the contact and I take the opportunity to push myself further into her.  My hands knead up the back of her legs and then as if they have an instinct of their own they lift her up and spread her legs apart.  Sliding her further up the wall and giving me access to push myself between them; her legs are suddenly wrapped around my waist pulling me even closer.  My hands slide underneath her skirt further, until one of them is the juncture between her leg and her hip and the other is just skimming below her bottom.  My fingers dig bruisingly into her plush warm flesh.  I can feel her chest frantically beating underneath mine.  It briefly reminds me of a hummingbird.  This feels so good, so right, I could get lost in this feeling.  I want her underneath me like this forever.  A voice whispers in my head that I could, I could take her, I could have her like this with me always, whenever I wanted.  Who would stop me?</p><p>I spin us around and slam her down on the table I remember being behind me.  I want to see more of her, more skin.  More, more, more, that whispering voice demands.  Her legs are still wrapped around my waist like a vice.  I rip her blouse apart.  I can hear buttons scattering against the walls.  She has on a pink bra, her chest is heaving against mine.  Pupils blown as she looks up at me stunned.  The lower half of my body snaps my hips forwards, rocking me against her.  Oh...yes, more of that.  I can feel myself growing down there.  I rock myself against her again and it feels like electricity is jolting down my spine.  She lets out a breathy moan.  I stare down at the pale skin of her collar bone and wonder what it tastes like.  I lock my lips onto the skin and it tastes better than I could have ever imagined.  My teeth and tongue bite and lick up the pale column of her throat.  Her back arches up into me as she lets out a surprised gasp.  I bite down a little harder at the skin just underneath the angle of her jaw and she gasps again.  One of my hands runs up from her waist to her ribs to just below her breast as I keep rocking my body into hers, mouth still clamped onto her divine throat.  I feel like I might explode.  I’ve never known pleasure like this before.  I vaguely hear someone calling my name and some sort of scuffle on the floor down the hall from us, but it doesn’t matter, nothing but this feeling matters.  Nothing but her warm body underneath me letting out those stuttering moans matters.  I want every last piece of her, I want to consume the beautiful broken girl under me.  I bury my tongue into her pink pliant mouth again.  My one hand slides up further to grab onto her breast, another jolt goes down my spine causing me to slam my hips hard into her again.  She lets out a tiny sob that I swallow down whole.  My other hand goes further up her skirt, my fingers worm their way under the hem of her underwear and just as I’m about ready to rip the cursed barrier between me and what I want I stop.  It feels like, like a cloud has lifted off my mind.  What am I doing?  I was about to - to…</p><p>My lips are still on hers, my fingers still inside her underwear, my other hand on her breast, my body pinning her to the table so she can’t move.  I slowly pull my lips off hers, both of our breathing is ragged, panting.  Those large onyx eyes staring at me with a dazed expression behind them.  Then that dazed look begins to fall away and her face scrunches up.  A pained “augghhh…” crosses her swollen red lips.  Peeling myself off her confused I see what’s causing her pain.  There are dark red impressions all over her body from where I touched...where I grabbed her, groped her, I realize in dawning horror.  Her neck is bruised, it practically looks like she’s been mauled.  What - what have a I done?  I let go of her quickly and take a small step back.  How could I - I hurt her.  I can’t believe I hurt her.  She slowly sits up and gingerly touches the back of her scalp, wincing slightly.  I notice the red welts from where I held down her wrists at some point.  She looks so confused, like she just woke up.  Her blouse isn’t just missing it’s buttons, it’s torn, shredded.  There are dark blotches on her waist, her ribs, and just below the breast I was groping.  My inspecting gaze flickers down to where her skirt is rucked up.  There are large handprint sized dark red impressions all over her thighs; thighs that I’m still standing between.  I take another step back horrified.  How could I have let myself do that?  Hurt her like that?  How could I have felt so good doing that to her body?   </p><p>She blinks a couple of times and seems to finally be coming back to reality.  She gives me an odd look.  “Cas?  What’s wrong?” </p><p>“What’s wrong?  What’s wrong is I - I…”  I can’t even bring myself to say it, I’m a coward.  </p><p>The door at the end of the hallway slams open and I see Sam running towards us.  Evie glances back and seems to realize the state of her dress as she quickly covers her chest with her hands.  Her cheeks flushing a dark pink.  Sam looks equal parts relieved and furious.  “Give her your coat Cas, come on Dean’s not far behind!”  </p><p>I tear it off as quickly as I can, nobody should see her like this.  I should never have...I swallow down the lump in my throat.  Sam snatches it from me and shoves me back as he wraps Evie in it.  She still seems not all quiet here, her entire body is shaking.  Just then Dean walks through the door and down the hall towards us.  His eyes go wide with concern when he sees his sister.  He elbows Sam out of the way and hovers over her protectively.  I notice for the first time that Sam has blood dripping down his chin.  I can smell it, it’s demon blood.</p><p>Dean cups Evie’s face in his hand.  “Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”  </p><p>Those large innocent brown eyes blink up at him.  “Nothing - I’m...I’m really alright.  Just trying to come to you know?”  </p><p>Dean whips his head towards us glaring furiously.  “What the hell happened to her?”  </p><p>It feels like I’m floundering in a pool right now.  What am I supposed to say?  Do I tell him the truth?  “Demons.  I uh, I saw them attack.”  Sam lies.  I stare at him in shock, why would he lie for me?  Why would he cover my shameful transgression? </p><p>Dean looks at him suspiciously.  “Didn’t you say you came in through the side door?”  </p><p>Sam keeps lying.  “Yeah, yeah, no I totally did but then I heard a commotion and came back here and saw the demons.  But then Cas was here so I - I figured I’d go find you and the horseman once I got the knife.”  I realize that must have been him calling my name when I was...was distracted.  </p><p>“What the hell happened to the plan Cas?”  Dean asks gruffly.</p><p>“The plan?”  </p><p>“Ya, you know, you coming in here and cutting off the ring?”  </p><p>The plan finally comes back to me.  That’s right.  “I was distracted, unfocused...I accidentally transported myself into the back room where I got ambushed.”  At the very least I can tell him that part honestly.  </p><p>Dean nods his head but doesn’t seem to fully believe me.  “Right, well, let’s just get the hell out of here.  Can you walk?”  He asks Evie.  She nods, but when she tries to get off the table she winces.  Dean doesn’t say anything he just picks her up.</p>
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<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>EVALYNN</p><p>Castiel leaves immediately after we get the ring from famine.  It feels like my heart has fallen into my stomach.  I don’t think I’ve ever felt that high and then subsequently that low immediately afterwards.  This must be what heroin feels like...or maybe demon blood.  The car ride back to Bobby’s is dead silent.  Not a word.  We have to lock Sammy away again in the bunker and let him detox.  After listening to Sam screaming for us to help him for three hours I can’t take it anymore.  I snatch the bottle of whiskey Dean has been hoarding all night and head upstairs to go outside.  I just need a minute, a second of fresh air.  It still feels like my head is pounding.  Whiskey helps, but not much.  I hate this.  I hate not being able to do anything but sit around and listen to Sam scream.  There’s nothing else to do though, all we can do is wait.  I go and sit on the hood of one of Bobby’s old junkers and take another long sip.  Eventually I lie back on the hood and look up at the stars and think of Castiel.  Cradling the bottle next to my chest.  I pass out for a couple of hours and when I come to I notice one of Bobby’s old plaid throws tossed over me.  Groaning I slowly pull myself off the lid of the car.  I glance over and see Bobby snoozing on an old lawnchair next to me.  His arms folded across his chest and his trucker hat pulled down over his eyes.  The sun is just barely starting to creep over the horizon.  I slide off the car and my wobbly legs almost buckle but I steady myself at the last second.  Damn, I finished half the bottle I realized.  What a fucking awful night.  I shake Bobby’s shoulder and he startles awake.  </p><p>“Oh, hey there kid.  You holding up alright?”  He asks through a stifled yawn.</p><p>“Livin’ the dream, Bobby.  Livin’ the dream.”  I grunt out.</p><p>He slings an arm over my shoulder and I sling one around his waist and we both stumble inside.  God what a sad site we must be.  I go back down into the basement.  Dean is still perched on a crate.  He glances up at me for a moment but then stares back at a new bottle of whiskey that he must have found at some point.  At least Sam is quieter now.  Although I still hear the occasional whimper and the sound of metal chains clanging.  I’m sure he’s tossing and turning on the cot we strapped him onto.  It makes my stomach lurch.  I slide down on the wall across from Dean and put my head between my knees.  </p><p>“How long do you think this will go on for?”  I whisper.</p><p>Dean shrugs his shoulders.  “Don’t know.  I would guess another day at least.  Maybe two or three though.”  </p><p>A few days later Sam finally has that crap out of his system.  I started to worry that he would never get back to normal.  I have another vision: a demon attack in a nearby town.  We don’t get there in time to save the teen boy but we’re able to kill the demon at least.  That night I have another vision only this one is different.  It’s not of people dying it’s of the dead rising.  I can feel myself standing in the graveyard raising them.  It’s death, I can feel that it’s death.  We drive back to Sioux Falls as fast as we can and have to put down all of the walking dead once they start to go rogue.  Bobby’s dead wife Karen included.  The two of us watch her pyre as we stand in his scrap yard.  Sam and Dean are off burning all of the other bodies.  </p><p>“You should know...Karen told me why death was here.”  Bobby says with a heavy voice.  </p><p>“What do you mean?”  </p><p>Bobby stares up at me with obvious worry in his eyes.  “I know why he took a stroll through the cemetery in the stix of South Dakota.  He was looking for you.”  </p><p>I let out a small grunt.  “Well that can’t be good.” </p><p>The past couple weeks all I can seem to think about is Cas.  We haven’t heard from him since the last horseman.  He must regret what we did under famine’s spell.  That’s the only reasonable explanation I can come up with.  Each time I think about it, it sends a pang through my chest.  I try to distract myself, to think of anything else but it doesn’t seem to do much good.</p><p>We’re on the case in some small town in the middle of nowhere.  Taking a much needed nap in another crap motel.  Hearing an odd commotion I open my eyes and immediately try to sit up but the gun pointed at my chest stops me from moving much.  I glance over and see Sam and Dean with guns on them as well.  </p><p>“Morning.”  Dean grunts.</p><p>“Shut up.  Hands where I can see ‘em.”  The masked intruder standing over Dean yells at him.  We all slowly put our hands up.  I can feel small panicked breaths starting to weasel their way out of my throat as the man standing over me glares down.</p><p>“Wait a minute.  Is that you Roy?  It is, isn’t it.  Which must make those two clowns Walt and Steve.  Hiya guys.”  Dean says sardonically. </p><p>The three men all take off their masks.  “Guess it don’t matter.”  Roy grumbles.  Steve looks nervous as he keeps the gun trained on me.  </p><p>“Well is it just me or do you all seem a tad upset.”  Dean snarks at them.</p><p>Walt is glaring malevolently at Sam.  “You think you can just flip the switch on the apocalypse and walk away?”</p><p>“Who told you that?”  I cry out.  “We ain’t the only hunters after Sam.”  Walt sneers over at me. </p><p>“Hear me out.  I can explain.  Please…”  Sam begs them, fear lacing his voice.  </p><p>Walt seems to pause for a moment, then shoots Sam point blank in the chest.  “NOOOOOO!!!”  I scream.  A force ripping through me sends Steve flying across the room.  I hear another loud bang, a gunshot I realize.  I feel something hard hit my chest then all I see is darkness.  </p><p>When I come to the entire room is blue.  It all looks surreal.  I sit up and let out a large gasp when I see Sam and Dean’s lifeless bodies on the beds next to me.  I glance down at my own bed and see my lifeless dead eyes staring at the ceiling.  “Shit.  SAAMMYY!  DEAN!”  I cry out.  If we’re all dead their spirits must be around here somewhere right?</p><p>“I’m afraid I already sent them upstairs.  We need to talk for a minute.  Alone.”  I whip around to see a thin older man with a hawk-like profile standing by the window, leaning gingerly against a long black cane.  The air around him seems to be pulsing.  Radiating with raw energy, power.</p><p>“Death…”  I practically whisper.</p><p>He gives me one succinct nod.  “We haven’t had the chance to talk.  You’re a tricky one to find and these days the little flea I’m tied to keeps me on a short leash.”  </p><p>I feel my forehead crinkle.  “The flea you're tied to?”</p><p>“Yes this Lucifer.  Bound me to him with some ridiculous spell.”  He explains in an almost bored tone.</p><p>I swallow down the anxious lump stuck in my throat.  “I see.”</p><p>His eyes focus on me a bit harder.  “Do you?  I am old Evalynn.  Older than you could possibly comprehend and I’m chained to a toddler throwing a tantrum.  Forced to do his bidding.”  </p><p>I nod my head shakily.  “So what exactly...why did you want to see me?” </p><p>He pauses before responding.  “Because you happen to be one of the few people alive who can help me.  I believe you are the one who will stop Lucifer.”</p><p>I stare at him dumbstruck.  “I think you’ve got the wrong girl.”  </p><p>His fingers tighten over the cane.  “Don’t be self-deprecating.  I created you for a reason.  I knew you would be the one to stop him.  My last creation before being forced underground.”  </p><p>Lightning strikes outside illuminating the frame of the thin pale man before me, making him appear almost otherworldly.  I sit down on the bed slowly as he moves towards me.  “I don’t have much time.  Lucifer is not immortal, he can be killed.  You are a being made by death.  You are one of the few who can wield my scythe outside the veil.”  </p><p>He suddenly cocks his head to the side.  As if he’s listening to something.  He seems exasperated.  “We’ll talk again soon.”  He says before twisting his hand in the air.  The air behind his hand seems to shift and it looks like a door is opening.  Pure white light streaming through the odd portal.  “Is that...is that heaven?”  I ask in shock.  </p><p>He almost grins at me.  “Yes.  My creatures get to use the backdoor.  Don’t worry, you won’t be there long.  Find your brothers.  I’ve already made a call to an old friend.”</p><p>I nod vigorously practically running to the door.  Before I pass through I glance back at him.  “Thank you.”  I say in a hushed tone.  He bows his head slightly towards me before closing the door.</p><p>I’m standing on wet two lane asphalt.  It appears to be nighttime.  I twirl around but don’t see anyone or anything.  Just an endless strip of road in either direction surrounded by woods.  Then a car comes barreling around the corner, headlights almost blinding.  I put my hands up to cover my eyes.  I hear tires squealing as the driver slams on the brakes.  The door opens then slams shut.  “EVIE!!”  Dean’s gruff voice yells at me.  I snap my head up just as he comes barreling towards me.  He pulls me into such a tight hug he lifts me off the ground.</p><p>I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze him back.  “I am so glad to see you!”  </p><p>He starts hastily pulling me towards the car.  “Come on, come on, get in.  We’ve gotta keep following the road.  Cas phoned home and told me I’d found you guys if we kept on the road.”  </p><p>“Heaven...what a strange place.”  I mutter as we fly across the pavement.  </p><p>We slow down when we see an old yellow house standing alone right off the side of the road.  Dean and I run up to the house and find Sam inside having the most awkward looking Thanksgiving dinner I’ve ever seen.  When we tell Sam we’re in heaven he stares at us in disbelief.  “Heaven?  Seriously?  How?”  </p><p>“All that clean living I guess.”  Dean jokes. </p><p>Sam shakes his head.  “Look, you two I get.  Sure.  But me?  Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’ve done a few things?” </p><p>“You thought you were doing the right thing.”  I say gently. </p><p>He scoffs.  “Right, well that last time I checked it wasn’t the road to heaven that was paved with good intentions.” </p><p>“Yeah well if this is the Skymall this sucks.  I mean where’s the triplets and the latex.  A guy has needs.”  Dean says scornfully, throwing his arms up in the air.  I smack his shoulder. </p><p>Sam glances back at the family still sitting around the table eating dinner.  “You know when you bite the dust they say your life flashes before your eyes?”  </p><p>“Your point?”  I question.</p><p>“This house is one of my memories.”  Sam comments.</p><p>Dean looks thoughtful.  “I woke up in one of my memories too.  The fourth of July we all burned down that field?” </p><p>They both glance at me.  I hold my hands up in mock surrender.  “Sorry no reliving of my greatest hits.  Not yet anyways.” </p><p>“Maybe that’s what heaven is.  A place where you relive your happiest memories…”  Sam trails off.</p><p>I smirk.  “Wait...so playing footsie with brace face over there was a trophy moment for you?”  </p><p>Sam shrugs.  “I was eleven.  It was my first real thanksgiving.”  </p><p>“What are you talking about we had -”  Suddenly whatever Dean was about to say is cut off by a loud high pitched sound and a blinding white light coming in through the windows. </p><p>The house starts to shake, glass breaking, furniture falling over.  We all duck for cover.  Dean has me pulled tight to his side as we crouch low behind the couch.  I see Dean eyeing the television in the far corner of the room.  He runs over to it.  Sam and I follow after.  </p><p>“What the hell are you doing?”  I hiss at him.</p><p>“I don’t know but we’re taking the escalator back downstairs.”  He smacks the TV a couple of times.  “Cas!  Cas!”  </p><p>“Have you lost your mind!  We need to get out of here.”  Sam seethes at him.</p><p>“Cas called me before using a phone-home radio thing.”  Dean grumbles to us. </p><p>The TV starts to flicker and Castiel’s image appears on the screen.  I let out a deep sigh of relief.  “I can hear you.”  </p><p>“Cas!  Hey, so I uh, I found both of them but something just happened.  There was this weird beam of light.”  Dean explains.</p><p>“Don’t go into the light.  It’s Zacariah.  He’ll be searching for you.”  Castiel’s voice cuts in and out.</p><p>“And if he finds us?”  I ask.</p><p>“The boys can’t say yes to Michael or Lucifer if they are dead.  They’ll bring them back.  You guys can’t come back until you make sure Evie will come back with you though.  Heaven has no motive to bring her back to life.”  I can hear Castiel’s voice cracking over the TV.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it.  I have my ride home covered.  Death promised me before he opened heaven’s door.”  I reply flippantly.  He looks relieved.  “Good, good.”</p><p>“Great, problem solved!”  Sam exclaims.</p><p>“No you don’t understand.  You are behind the wall.  This is a rare opportunity.”  </p><p>We all stare at the TV confused at what Cas is trying to get at.  “You need to find an angel.  His name is Joshua.”  Cas tell us.</p><p>“Hey man, no offense but we are kind of ass full of angels right now.  You find him.”  Dean barks at the screen.  I smack him on the shoulder again.</p><p>“I can’t.  I can’t return to heaven.”  He replies with a small frown, hint of sarcasm in his tone.</p><p>“What’s so important about Joshua?”  Sam asks.</p><p>“The rumour is he talks to god.”  </p><p>Dean scoffs.  “So?” </p><p>Castiel looks pissed.  “Dean you think maybe - just maybe - we should find out what the hell god has been saying?”  </p><p>“Jeez touchy.”  Dean grunts.  “Stop being an ass.”  I mutter at him.</p><p>“Please, just follow the road.”  Castiel says.</p><p>“What road?”  Sam questions.</p><p>“It’s called the Axis Mundi.  It’s a path that runs through heaven.  Different people see it as different things.  For you, it’s two lane asphalt.  The road will lead you to the garden.  There you will find Joshua.”  Castiel’s picture starts to break up.  “Garden.”  His image starts to cut out.  “Quickly, hurry.”  Then he’s gone.</p><p>We glance outside the window but the road is gone.  There is only forest.  “Where the hell did it go?”  I mumble.  Dean heads back down the hallway and starts looking around.  “What are you doing?”  Sam asks.  </p><p>“Looking for a road.”  He mutters as he opens up the closet under the stairs.  </p><p>Sam stares at him like he’s crazy.  “You think the road is in a closet?”  </p><p>Dean turns on the light.  “We’re in heaven.  Cas is on TV.  Finding a road in a closet would be the most normal thing that happened to us today.”  </p><p>We glance down and see an old hot wheels set on the floor.  Dean bends down and picks up the blue car.  “I used to have one of these when I was a kid.”  He mumbles before putting the car on the track and starting the little electrical circuit. </p><p>The three of us look up and we’re standing in a kids bedroom.  “That was the road?”  I question.  “Guess so, kinda trippy.”  Dean grunts.  </p><p>Sam’s face cracks into a large smile then points a finger at his Dean’s shirt.  “Yeah, but what’s more trippy is that you wuv hugs.”  </p><p>I have to cover the snort that comes out of my mouth when I see Dean’s teddy bear t-shirt.  Dean covers it with his hands.  “Shut-up.”  </p><p>Dean suddenly seems to realize something.  “Wait a minute, I know where we are.”  He starts walking out of the room and down the stairs.  Sam and I follow along after him.  When we hit the bottom of the step we see her standing there in a white dress.  I recognize the woman from the few pictures Dean has.  It’s Mary.  Their mother Mary.  </p><p>Mary looks at Dean with a bright smile.  “Are you hungry honey?  How about a pb and j?”  </p><p>Dean stares at her like he’s a little kid again and nods slowly.  I feel my heart clench.  Sam looks at her somewhere between shocked and sad.</p><p>She starts making a sandwich.  “You want the crusts cut off?”  Dean nods again.</p><p>“Mom?”  Sam asks, his voice breaking.  There’s no response, she just continues to make the sandwich and occasionally glances at Dean with a large beaming smile.  </p><p>“I guess this isn’t your memory Sam.  Sorry.”  Dean mumbles but he doesn’t even seem to notice us anymore.  I feel my chest clench a little tighter with the adoring way she stares at him.  It feels like I’m intruding on something personal, private.  I can’t stop a twinge of jealousy from running through me.  Having this memory, even if it’s just the one, the memory of a loving mother...a loving parent.</p><p>Sam clears his throat.  “Dean uh, we should go...keep looking for the road.”</p><p>Dean holds up his finger.  “Just, just give me a minute.”  </p><p>Sam nods reluctantly.  He looks at the scene somewhere between sad and upset.  I wonder if he feels this same pang of jealousy that I do.  Mary ruffles Dean’s hair then heads into the kitchen to answer the ringing phone.  </p><p>Mary picks it up.  “Hello?  No, John...we’re not having this conversation again.  Think about what?  You have two boys at home.”  </p><p>“I remember this.  Mom and Dad were fighting.  He moved out for a couple of days…”  Dean trails off.</p><p>“Dad always said they had the perfect marriage.”  Sam comments seemingly lost in thought.  That used to bother me when I was a kid, how much John adored Mary, how much he so clearly loved her.  He almost never talked about my own mother.  The few times he did it was always with a tone of disdain...disgust.</p><p>“It wasn’t perfect until after she died.”  Dean says.  </p><p>Mary hangs up the phone and turns away from the table.  We can hear her sniffling as she fights back tears.  Dean goes to her and wraps his arms around her small form.  “It’s okay mom.  Dad still loves you.  I love you too.  I’ll never leave you.”  </p><p>I glance over and notice Sam looks enlightened as he watches the scene unfold.  He shakes his head sadly as Dean comes back over to us.  “What?”  </p><p>Sam can’t quite look him in the eye.  “I just...never realized how long you had been cleaning up dad’s messes.”  </p><p>Dean frowns before clearing his throat.  “Whatever, let’s just go.” </p><p>We search the room looking for any signs of a road.  I do a double take when I spot a keychain on the coffee table.  I pick it up gingerly.  It’s a route 66 keychain.  “Hey guys, isn’t this that keychain I won at the carnival?”  </p><p>I glance up and suddenly we are all standing in front of one of those water gun fair games.  There are bright flashing lights surrounding the small kiosk.  Dad is pacing back and forth at the far end of the booth talking on the phone in an agitated manner.  “I remember this...it was that county fair back when I was like eight, maybe nine.”  I mutter.  </p><p>Dean and Sam both stare at Dad in total shock.  “Wha - what happened?  Where are Sam and I?”  Dean glances around.  </p><p>“You weren’t here.  You were on the tilter-whirl.  I wasn’t tall enough to ride…”  I mutter glancing down at the water guns.  </p><p>The pock faced game attendant gives me a bored stare.  “A quarter to play kid.”  </p><p>I reach into the pocket of my pink flowery dress, the one with daisies on it that I had as a child.  I pull out a quarter and hand it to the guy.  I pick up the water gun and the attendant nods at me to start shooting.  I hit each of the targets dead center.  A loud binging noise goes off each time I hit one.  Finally I get the last one and it dings at me five times.  “Congrats kid.  Here’s a keychain.”  The man hands me a crappy little route 66 keychain.  </p><p>I glance over at Dad.  He looks at me both surprised and impressed.  “One sec Bobby.”  John mutters before covering the phone with his hand.  “Nice job Evie.  Keep up the target practice!  Make a hunter outta you yet.”  He gives me a proud smile before returning to his phone call.  I look back down at the keychain.  God I remember this now.  I felt so pleased with myself.  Dad had never looked at me that way before.  I kept that keychain for years just because of this memory.</p><p>I look back over at Sam and Dean.  They’re both scuffing their feet on the ground awkwardly.  “So...this is your happy memory?”  Sam questions.  </p><p>“John and I didn’t have many hallmark moments.”  I shrug before brushing past them and trying to find the next road.  </p><p>Sam points his finger.  “Is that a road on the other side of the trees?”  </p><p>We all run towards it and are standing in front of an old run down house.  It looks vaguely familiar.  “What memory is this?”  I ask twirling around looking for clues.  </p><p>Sam shifts awkwardly on his feet.  “No idea.  Let’s just follow the road guys.” </p><p>Dean seems to realize where we are.  “Wait a minute, wait, this is -”  He glares at Sam accusingly.  “This is the night you ditched us for stanford isn’t it?  I remember us squatting at that house.  This is your idea of heaven?”  </p><p>I wince at the pained expression on Dean’s face.  God that was an awful night.  Losing Sam was hard enough but the way Dean reacted...dad was no better.  Dean laughs sardonically, painfully.  “Wow this was like the worst night of my life.”  </p><p>Sam looks flummoxed.  “I can’t control this stuff.”  </p><p>Dean turns away for a moment before facing Sam again.  “Seriously?  This is a happy memory for you?”</p><p>Sam shrugs a little.  “I don’t know.  I mean I was on my own...got away from dad.” </p><p>I scoff.  “Yeah, he wasn’t the only one you got away from.”  </p><p>Sam sighs.  “I’m sorry.  I just…”  Dean cuts him off with a wave.  “I know, I know, you just didn’t see it that way.” </p><p>“Dean!”  Sam yells at him.</p><p>“C’mon!  Your heaven is somebody else’s Thanksgiving.  It’s bailing on your family.  What do you want me to say!”  Dean yells back at him.</p><p>Sam looks at him angrily.  “What?  I never got the crusts cut off my pb and j’s.  I just don’t look at family the way you do.”  </p><p>“Yeah, but we’re supposed to be your family Sam.”  I reply coldly. </p><p>“Evie, come on…”</p><p>“We’re supposed to be a team.  It’s supposed to be us three against the world right?”  Dean screams at him.</p><p>“Dean it is!”  </p><p>Dean stares at him with obvious hurt in his eyes.  “Is it?”  </p><p>I feel devastated, crestfallen.  I knew Sam always had trouble sticking around when we were kids but damn...not a single one of his memories involved any of us in some kind of fond manner.  Not even one?</p><p>A large spotlight suddenly finds us.  We start running into the woods.  Going as fast as we can, but my fast is never anywhere near there’s.  Dean seems to realize that I’m too far behind.  He turns around and starts to make his way back towards me when I feel a hand on my shoulder.  Then I’m not in the woods anymore.  Instead I am standing back in Sam and Dean’s childhood home.  The lighting isn’t bright and cheery like it was before, it’s dark and ominous.  I glance up to see it is Zaccariah who has the death grip on my shoulder.  I try to jerk away out of his grasp.  “Let go!  Let me go!”  </p><p>Zaccariah instead yanks me closer to him and puts his sweaty hand over my mouth.  “I told you that mouth of yours would get you into trouble one day.”  He snarls into my ear.  I cringe away from his breath fanning across my neck.  </p><p>Sam and Dean suddenly appear along with their mother Mary.  I struggle against my captor but it’s useless.  It’s like struggling against cement.  My panicked eyes search out Dean’s as I scream against Zachariah's hand.  My brother doesn’t look at me though, his eyes are glued to Mary.  The angel pulls me closer to him until my back is flush against his body.  I feel his mouth just barely grazing the skin of my neck as he whispers against it.  “He can’t see you neither of them can.  Just relax and enjoy the show…”  He nuzzles his way down and places his lips on the juncture between my neck and my shoulder.  I shudder in disgust, bile rising in my throat.  Struggling harder against him.  He just laughs at me but thankfully doesn’t try anything further.  </p><p>“Honey, why are you up?”  Mary asks but her voice sounds off.  Insincere.</p><p>Dean looks at her distraught.  “Look I’m - I’m sorry.  I love you but you’re not real and we don’t have time -” </p><p>She cuts him off.  “Did you have another nightmare?  Tell me.”  </p><p>Dean lets out a strangled exhale.  “We gotta go.  I’ve gotta find Evie.”  </p><p>Her face suddenly turns dark and  malicious.  “Then how about I tell you my nightmare Dean.  The night I burned.”  </p><p>That causes my oldest brother to pause in his tracks.  Both of my brothers watch in horror as blood begins pooling in the middle of her nightgown over her stomach.  “Oh, now it’s getting good!”  Zacariah exclaims with glee. </p><p>“Sam, lets get out of here.”  Dean commands in a shaky voice.  </p><p>“Don’t walk away from me!”  Mary hisses at him.  “I never loved you.  You were my burden.  I was shackled to you.  Look what it got me.”  She blinks and her eyes turn yellow.</p><p>Both of my brothers are frozen in place as they stare at their mother.  “Dean.”  Sam mutters as he finally tears his eyes away and notices the changes in the room.  The doors disappear and the room takes on an unearthly green glow.  Mary blinks and her eyes return to their normal blue color.  </p><p>“The worst was the smell.  The pain, well, what can you say about your skin bubbling off?  But the smell was so...you know for a second I thought I’d left a pot roast burning in the oven.  But it was my meat.”  Mary says with a weary sigh.  </p><p>Dean moves further away from her trying to find a way out of the bricked over doorways.  Mary continues on.  “Then finally I was dead.  The only silver lining was that at least I was away from you.”  She takes a deep breath as she looks at him pointedly.  “Everybody leaves you Dean.  You ever noticed that?  Mommy, daddy, even Sam.  And let’s be honest, the only reason Evie sticks around is because she is dependent on you.  She would leave in a heartbeat if she could.  Fly off with that little angel of hers, spreading her legs for him.  You ever asked yourself why everyone eventually leaves you?  Maybe it’s not them.  Maybe it’s you?”  </p><p>Suddenly both Dean and Sam look right at me.  They can see me now.  “Easy now kitten.”  Zacariah purrs at Mary, still maintaining his death grip around my mouth.  Mary smiles at him with glee.</p><p>“Let go of my sister.”  Dean demands glaring at Zachariah, voice trembling slightly.</p><p>Zacariah’s grip tightens to a bruising degree.  I wince and let out a muffled cry as he twists my jaw further.  “Stop it!”  Dean hisses at him.  </p><p>“Oooh I’m just getting started.  I mean, guys, did you really think you could just sneak past me into mission control?”  </p><p>“You son of a bitch, let her go!”  Sam practically growls as he advances towards us.  Suddenly angels appear on either side of my brothers and holds them in place.  </p><p>“You know I’d say the same thing about you Sam but I’ve actually grown quite fond of her.  Or at least the memory of her.”  Mary smiles at the angel in a creepy devoted manner before walking over and going up on her tiptoes to kiss Zacariah on the cheek.  Dean has to look away.  </p><p>“Hmm...Mary you are a vision, although I have to say this little spitfire is still my favorite.”  He says before slapping me on the ass.  Like a reflex I bite down on his hand as hard as I can.  It’s completely ineffective.  He just smashes my jaw shut tighter together.  Squeezing so hard it feels like my bones are going to break.  </p><p>“I think I’m going to take my time teaching you some manners little shrieker...let your brothers watch.”  He hisses into the shell of my ear.  His hand reaches down and grabs onto my thigh, inching his hand up my skin pushing my dress up with the action.  The insinuation clear.  </p><p>“STOP!  JUST STOP!  What - what do you want?”  Dean yells at him desperately.  </p><p>Zacariah smirks at him before tossing me to the side.  Another angel grabs me by the arms, but at least they aren’t covering my mouth anymore.  I cough gasping for air.  “What do I want?  What do I want?  Hmm, let’s talk brass tax shall we?”  He says stepping up towards Dean then slamming his fist into my brother’s stomach causing him to double over in pain.  </p><p>“Let me tell you something.  I was on the fast track once.  Employee of the month, every month, forever.  I would walk these halls and people would AVERT THEIR EYES!”  The walls begin to quake with Zacariah’s bellowing.  “I HAD RESPECT!  AND THEN, and then they assigned me you.  Now look at me.”  He chuckles maliciously.  “I can’t close the deal on a couple of flannel wearing maggots.  Everybody’s laughing at me...and they’re right to do it.  So, say yes.  Don’t say yes.  I’m still going to take it out of your asses.  It’s personal now and the last person in the history of creation you want as your enemy is me.  And I’ll tell you why.  Lucifer may be strong...but I’m petty.  I’m going to be the angel on your shoulder for the rest of eternity.”  </p><p>“Excuse me, sir?”  A gentle sounding voice calls out from behind.  I turn around to spot a kindly looking elderly man.  </p><p>“I’m in a meeting.”  Zacariah says sardonically. </p><p>“I’m sorry.  I need to speak to these three.”  He replies gesturing in our direction.</p><p>Zacariah stares at the man in shock.  “Excuse me?”  </p><p>“It’s a bad time, I know, but I am afraid I have to insist.”  The gentle angel presses on.  </p><p>Zacariah scoffs at him.  “You don’t get to insist jack-sqaut.”  </p><p>The man doesn’t back down, just continues to stare at Zachariah.  His penetrating gaze seems to unnerve Zachariah.  “No you’re right.  But the boss does.  His orders.”  </p><p>“You’re lying.”  Zachariah retorts with uncertainty.  </p><p>“I wouldn’t lie about this.  Look, fire me if you want.  Sooner or later, he’s going to come back home and you know how he is with that whole wrath thing.”  The man says with a faint smile.  </p><p>Zachariah glances at Sam and Dean before leveling me with a hard glare then disappearing.  His angel goons disappearing with him.  Sam and Dean rush over to help me up.  The three of us look over at the man, the unknown angel.  I blink and suddenly we are surrounded by a verdant garden.  “This is heaven’s garden?”  Sam questions suspiciously. </p><p>“It’s nice..ish, I guess.”  Dean grumbles. </p><p>“You see what you want to see here.  For some it’s god’s throne room; for others it’s eden.  You three, I believe it’s the Cleveland Botanical Gardens.  You came here on a field trip.”  </p><p>Glancing around at the surroundings more thoroughly I recall the memory vaguely.  </p><p>“You’re Joshua…”  Sam realizes.  </p><p>The man nods.  “Yes, I’m Joshua.”  </p><p>“So, you talk to god.”  Sam comments.  </p><p>Joshua smiles at him.  “Mostly he talks to me.”  </p><p>“Well we sort of need to speak to him.  It’s important.”  I tell the angel. </p><p>“Where is he?”  Dean demands. </p><p>“On earth.”  </p><p>“Doing what?”  Dean asks in an almost disbelieving manner.  </p><p>“I don’t know.”  </p><p>“Do you know where on earth?”  I chime in.  </p><p>The angel shakes his head at me.  “No, sorry, we don’t exactly speak face to face.”  </p><p>“I...I don’t get it.  God’s not talking to anybody else so…”  I trail off.  </p><p>He chuckles at me.  “Why is he talking to me?  I sometimes think it’s because I can sympathize - gardener to gardener - and between us, I think he gets lonely sometimes.”  </p><p>Dean stares at him in disgust.  “Well, my hearts breaking for him.”  </p><p>“Well can you at least get him a message for us?”  Sam questions exasperated. </p><p>Joshua eyes him sternly.  “Actually he has a message for you.  Back off.”  </p><p>“What?”  Dean asks looking dumbstruck.  </p><p>“He knows.  Everything you want to tell him.  He already knows.  He knows what the angels are doing.  He knows that the apocalypse has begun.  He just doesn’t think it’s his problem.” </p><p>I stare at the angel stunned.  “Not his problem?”  </p><p>“God saved you already.  He put you three on that plane.”  Joshua turns to me.  “He brought back Castiel.”  Then he turns to Dean.  “He granted you salvation in heaven.”  Then finally he turns to Sam.  “Both of you in heaven even after all you’ve done.”  He lets out a weary sigh.  “He’s more than he’s intervened in a long time.  He’s finished.  Magic amulet or not, you won’t be able to find him.”  </p><p>Dean glares at him.  “But he can stop it.  He can stop all of it.”  </p><p>“I suppose he could.  But he won’t.”  The angel comments as if he doesn’t particularly care one way or the other.  </p><p>I scoff at him.  “Why not?” </p><p>Joshua shrugs at me.  “Why does he allow evil in the first place?  You could drive yourself nuts asking questions like that.”  </p><p>“So he’s just going to sit back and watch the world burn?”  Dean questions with disgust. </p><p>He nods his head solemnly.  “I know how important this was to you Dean.  I’m sorry.”  </p><p>Dean looks at him with a face full of emotions.  “Forget it.  Just another dead-beat dad with a bunch of excuses, right?  I’m used to that.  I’ll muddle through.”  </p><p>Joshua looks right back at him.  “Except...you don’t know if you can this time.  You can’t kill the devil and you’re losing faith, in yourself, in your brother, and now this?”  </p><p>Dean’s face floods with a depressed desperation and disappointment.  I reach out and grab my brother’s hand.  He can’t meet my gaze.  Joshua heaves out a long sigh.  “God was your last hope.  I just...I wish I could tell you something different.”  </p><p>Sam looks at the angel suspiciously.  “How do we know you’re telling the truth?”</p><p>Joshua raises an eyebrow at him.  “You think that I would lie?”  </p><p>“It’s just that...you’re not the first angel we’ve dealt with.”  </p><p>Joshua gives us all a warm smile.  “I’m rooting for you guys!  I wish I could do more to help, I do!  But...I just trim the hedges.”  </p><p>Dean shakes his head in dismay.  “So, what now?”  </p><p>“You go home again, only this time I’m afraid won’t be like the last.  This time God wants you to remember.”  The angels tells us before placing a hand up.  </p><p>A bright white light surrounds us.  When the light dissipates and I open my eyes I see I am lying back on the bed in that crappy motel room.  Someone is cradling me against their chest.  Glancing up I see Castiel’s face looking down on me.  For the briefest of moments I get a glimpse of that drowning man I saw in the future, then that sheer unfiltered panic turns into relief.  He binds me tightly to him.  “Evie - Evie…” The angel rocks me back and forth.  I cling tightly onto his arms, curling up further into him.  Swallowing in deep stuttering breaths.  I’m alive.  I’m back.  I can’t believe I’m alive. </p><p>I hear the groans of my brothers as they awaken as well.  I lean back further into Cas, closing my eyes again.  It’s okay.  We’re safe.  We’re all safe.  Dean sits up and looks around wildly.  He does a double take when he sees Cas holding me but he doesn’t say anything.  Instead he flops back down on the bed catching his breath.  “Okay, alright, everybody okay?  Yeah?”  Dean asks the room.  </p><p>“Yeah.”  Sam and I both groan out in unison.  </p><p>“Good, then we’re rolling out.  Come on, let’s pack it up in ten.”  He orders.  </p><p>We silently get ready to leave.  All too out of it to really say much or dissect what happened.  Just as we are finally about to leave Cas speaks up, leaning against the room's partition.  “Were you able to find Joshua?”  He asks worriedly.  I realize that Dean looks crestfallen, devoid of all hope, I suppose I don’t look much different.  </p><p>Dean is the one to take the lead as he clears his throat and steps towards Castiel.  “Yeah...yeah we did.  God knows.  God knows and he’s not going to help.”  He tells the angel bluntly.  </p><p>Castiel stares at him stunned.  “What?”  </p><p>I grab onto the angel’s arm and sigh.  I feel the muscles tense under my hand.  He stares at the ground.  “Maybe...maybe Joshua was lying?”  He mutters in disbelief.  </p><p>“Cas I - I’m sorry.”  I tell him my voice cracking.  I know how much it meant to him, how much it meant to all of us.  Despite everything that’s happened between us, despite him not - not wanting me he’s still my friend.  </p><p>Castiel turns around and takes a few steps away, lifting his head up to the ceiling.  “You son of a bitch, I believed in…”  </p><p>I clasp a hand over my mouth at the angel's broken words to his father.  I’ve been there before.  All of us have.  Cas turns back around, eyes glued to the floor.  I try to take a step towards him but Dean puts a hand on my shoulder.  The angel looks like a spring ready to pounce at any moment.  He slowly pulls Dean’s amulet out of his pocket and drops it in Dean’s open palm.  “I don’t need this anymore.  It’s worthless.”  The angel proclaims in a despairing tone.  </p><p>“Cas…”  I trail off not sure what to say.  </p><p>He doesn’t meet my gaze, he just looks over at Dean.  “I’ve - I’ve gotta go.  You’ll look after -”  </p><p>Dean cuts him off.  “Yeah, I always do.”  </p><p>Castiel nods at him.  I try to shrug Dean off, but he just tightens his grip on my shoulder.  Before I get the chance to stop him Cas is gone.  Disappeared off to who knows where.</p><p>“Why did you do that?”  I hiss at my oldest brother.  </p><p>He doesn’t say anything he just stares me down before gesturing towards the door for me to get a move on.  I clench my jaw together in frustration but comply nonetheless.  What the hell else am I going to do when Cas just up and runs off like that?  When he won’t talk to me, won’t even look at me?  It feels like a knife to the heart.  </p><p>“We’ll find another way.  We can still stop all of this.”  Sam proclaims hopefully.</p><p>Dean finally looks over at him.  “How?”  </p><p>“I don’t know, but we’ll find it.  The three of us will find it.”  He says with not a small degree of false confidence.  </p><p>Dean doesn’t look like he believes him.  He picks up our bags and walks past Sam, past me, without saying a word.  When he reaches the door he stops at the trash can and drops the amulet in it before opening the door and walking out.  I turn to Sam, who’s still looking at the doorway Dean just occupied with a face of equal parts hurt and determination.  I frown and reach out my hand towards him.  He takes it with a sigh and we walk out together.</p>
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